Dearest Diary,
Today's the day everyone living in Stark Tower gets to meet one another and I couldn't be more excited. You see, we all kinda live on our own floors and have separate wings, so, a lot of us have yet to really actually meet.
Tony had FRIDAY tell us all last night that we were to meet at the top floor for a little party/gathering-type-thing around 7:00pm.
And, well, it's 7:00 already- so here we go.
—————
Bucky and I walked in together to see that everyone was already there. I suppose by 7:00, he really meant 6:30...?
The first thing I noted was the Tony-Stark-esque 60s-70s-80s music (that I've, recently, been listening to per his request to get more cultured) blaring loudly and the drinks flowing everywhere, so we figured we might as well jump on in and get going.
"Rogers," Tony approached us and shook my hand, a drink in the other; it looked like his go-to... a single malt scotch, neat.
"Tony, how's it been?" I wondered with a smile, the chorus of Free Fallin' by Tom Petty playing in the background.
"Oh, just dandy," he replied, taking a sip of his drink and bobbing his head to the song. "Been staying with the family, you know, Morgan's all excited to finally get to see the tower."
"I'm sure," I agreed with a smile.
"Well, get some drinks, guys," he pushed. "I'll introduce you to The Guardians later, they said they have a little game they wanna show us how to play or something."
"Sounds good," I answered as he walked away.
We both got our drinks at the bar and headed over to the couches where everyone else had been sitting. I was happy to see Natasha sitting on Bruce, finally. Maybe he finally worked up the courage to ask her out for real.
"Steve!" a drunken Scott yelled as he hung on his unhappy looking girlfriend, still holding a beer.
"Hey, Scott," I replied with a chuckle, sending the woman a nod of acknowledgement. "Maybe, uh, lay off the drinks for a little while."
He nodded and saluted me. "Sure thing, boss."
Bucky and I sat down next to each other and... also next to some very strange looking people(?). I assumed they were The Guardians Tony had been talking about, but I guess I'll find out soon enough if they're even humans at all- and, you know, why they have blue skin and strange tattoos and long red leather trench coats.
The clock hit 8 before we knew it and darkness from the huge windows crept in. The amber light system turned on and the aura was just amazing. Everyone was buzzed except for Bucky and I because, well, we can't exactly get there... but it was still fun watching everyone make fools of themselves and drinking along with them, unfazed.
"Hello everyone," a soft-spoken girl with what looked like antennae dressed in green began. "I am Mantis, for those of you who do not know me. I am with those that identify as The Guardians of the Galaxy- which includes my friends over here," she pointed so that they might introduce themselves.
"I'm Peter Quill, but you probably know me as Starlord- I'm pretty well known, but it's okay, I'm just like all of you... from Earth and whatnot, so it's all cool," he went on, proceeding to sit again like he was hot shit.
A green skinned woman with black and pink hair stood up. "I'm Gamora and I am Zen-Whoberis for those of you humans who are unaware of alien species; though, I'm from 2014 and don't exactly know everything I'm supposed to just yet seeing as the year is 2023... I do know, though, that Thanos was my father, Nebula is my sister and I'm supposed to be with Peter over here..." she hesitated, looking over at him awkwardly. "Yea." She sat.
Nebula stood. "I'm her sister, Nebula, another of Thanos' children. I am a Luphomoid and most of you already know me, so..." she sat again.
A man without a shirt and with strange grey skin and pink, raised tattoos stood and looked slowly around the room for a moment before remaining in this place without moving at all.
"Not again," Quill started. "We can see you, Drax. I promise."
"No, I'm sure you can't," he argued, leaving the rest of us confused. "I am Drax the Destroyer and the last of the Kylosian people... and I have mastered this art, Quill!"
"It's not an art! You're just being weird," he explained.
"I am not," Drax answered. "I'm sure I'm invisible." he sat down very slowly and we just all kind of ignored that.
"I'm Rocket, yes, I'm a raccoon and yes, I can talk. This is Groot-"
"I am Groot," he interrupted, allowing me to remember our little mid-Wakanda-battlefield-moment from all those years ago.
"And those are the only three words he says because he only speaks groot, which, I can translate for you all so, you're welcome," Rocket confirmed, sitting again.
"Mantis, tell them about the game," Tony requested, sounding a little more than buzzed at this point.
"Of course," she stood. "After training with the Priests of Pama in Vietnam to become the Grand-Mistress of the Martial Arts, I discovered I had actual powers. For example, I can commune with and control plants, I am also an empath... meaning, I can alter emotions as well as detect them. From this last ability, sprouted a game we Guardians used to play when we were in space and would meet new people... invented when we met Mr. Quill for the first time. If I touch you, I feel what you feel and it can be fun to put to words what you might not be able to... we usually have fun with it," she smiled at us.
"All right!" Tony stood, raising his drink as Have You Ever Seen The Rain? by Creedence Clearwater Revival started to play. "Who's first?"
I turned to Bucky and sent him a sideways look. "These people are crazy," I whispered.
"Tell me about it," he mumbled back with a smirk.
"Well, the first time I did this, as I mentioned, it was with Peter," she admitted. "But, he didn't like it very much," she went on to explain further
"Why not?" Gamora wondered.
"May I?" Mantis reached out for her. "I can show you... what it is like."
"Uh," Gamora nodded hesitantly and we all watched in awe as Mantis placed her hand on Gamora's hand and closed her eyes. The antennas on her head started to glow.
Her eyebrows furrowed. "You feel... confusion," she started. "You know what you are supposed to be now that you are here, but you are afraid to disappoint those around you. And... there is the beginnings of love, somehow, anew for someone you felt, at first, you had to be with, but now feel you want to be with... for him-" she pointed at Peter, putting two and two together.
"You do?" Quill questioned.
"I, uh," she stuttered. "I suppose so, yes," he took her hand and they sat back in content, talking quietly among themselves.
"That was... so cool!" Peter Parker (who wasn't drinking because he's still underage by a long shot) shouted from the other side of the room, extending his arm up and slinging a web up to the ceiling and swinging over and onto the couch with everyone else. "Me next!"
Mantis walked over to the boy and put her hand on his head. She smiled. "You feel joy, more completely and utterly now than you have in a while. This... relief, almost, it comes from a place of sadness. You feel like you have this new beginning, a second chance with... a parent? It feels like your father, or an uncle or..." She scanned the room. "Him."
"Me?" Tony questioned, smiling big and bright.
"Yes," she answered. "You both thought you were gone, but you weren't." She removed her hand from his head. "Anyone next?"
"Everyone's going, you know," Tony added. "You might as well volunteer."
"I'll go," Bruce raised his hand.
She approached him and grabbed his massive finger for a moment and didn't say anything. "I am conflicted. I feel very many, very different things."
"Like what?" he questioned.
"You feel happier than you have ever felt and relieved about something rather inexplicable and strange, but I sense you're... angry. More anger than I have ever felt- like this incredible rage," she let go.
"Well, I suppose that's because I'm... always angry," Bruce replied, making everyone who understood the reference laugh out loud.
"Hey, Steve," Bucky turned to me as I laughed. I nodded. "Imma head to the bathroom - too much vodka tonic - I'll be right back."
"Okay," I whispered back with a snicker.
"And, shall the Mighty Thor be next?" he raised Mjolnir into the air and we all cheered.
I raised my hand and felt that ethereal magnetism yank Mjolnir's handle into my palm and away from his. "Hey, easy with that thing," I warned him, making everyone laugh and cheer again as I placed it on the floor and waited for Mantis' reading.
She smiled as she continued and as her hand met his. "There's a feeling of satisfaction but, that's only in this very specific moment- I feel very much like I want to say 'I told you so' a-"
"Ah, yes, because I knew since the very beginning that our Captain over there would be worthy if he just tried a little harder," he chuckled, as did I, as well as all the originals.
"You also feel... free. Finally free from this binding tether tying you to some sort of a responsibility that you have now passed on. You are relieved and feel more yourself than you ever have before."
"And that is thanks to Valkyrie here, the new ruler of Asgard!" he announced and we all clapped.
"How about me," Pepper volunteered to be next.
Mantis nodded and held her hand. "You are mostly happy, but... you are sad. It is not about you, either... it is for him," she pointed to Tony.
"Why?" Tony approached. "Pep, what's wrong?"
"You were supposed to rest, Tony," she answered. "You're back and I love you for it... but now you-"
"Listen," he interrupted. "This superhero gig, I'm done with it. We all are. You don't have to worry anymore."
Mantis put her hand on his shoulder. "You feel confidence... Pepper, I would not worry."
I watched as they hugged it out with Morgan and everyone in the room was feeling just so much better. Mantis was actually helping all of us out and making us feel even better than we had felt before. Now I see why Tony was so excited to play this game.
"Who's next?" Tony asked as he pulled out of the hug, You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC starting on the speaker-subwoofer surround-sound system. "No one? C'mon, don't you see how fun it is?"
"Well, we will not force anyone," Mantis corrected him. "But, I would be happy to read the rest of you."
"What about you, Cap?" Tony proposed.
I felt my eyes open wide as I said nothing for a moment. "I don't know," I stalled.
Everyone started arguing and telling me that I absolutely had to and that there was no way I was gonna live it down if I didn't agree. "This opportunity probably isn't gonna come again, you know," Natasha called out to me. "She kinda lives in outer space."
"Okay, okay, fine," I submitted. "But, if I don't like it-"
"Then I will stop, I promise," she agreed, approaching me.
Before she placed her hand on me, I wondered if what I was thinking about as she did so would alter the reading, or if she would just get a general understanding for how I've been feeling all day. I tried to clear my mind so that she could read me properly, though I worried I was thinking too much into it.
She stood before me and placed her hand on my jaw and closed her eyes. I watched as the antennas on her head glowed yet again and waited for the expression on her face to change.
"You feel whole," she smiled and met my face with her astral eyes. I smiled back. "You feel like you fit in here with all these people because you see that they are more like you than you anticipated them to be... you feel like you are finally starting to fit into this era, too; it is like a switch in your head has flipped and everything is just now starting to be okay again."
"It's true," I smiled at her, but my gaze quickly wavering with the sudden motion to the side in the room.
"Wait-" she stopped me. "What you feel is so much more than just that, so much more than collective wholeness," she closed her eyes again. "This is a sense of belonging to something far more like you than anything - anyone - else you have ever encountered... you feel love... the romantic, epic kind that transcends lifetimes despite its, somehow, clandestine properties. You have found a soulmate in a person you always knew would remain forever important. You feel you were made for each other... I'm not sure how else to say it other than- are you familiar with the types of love developed by the Greek, Steve?"
"I- no, I'm not," I answered quickly, unable to stop her from continuing and noticing that everyone around me was intrigued; I didn't have the heart to stop her now.
"I feel all of the four basic kinds of love defined by the Greeks within you for this other. They are Philia, affectionate love that runs deep in true friendships and originates in the mind; Storge, familiar love that flows between childhood friends or families and comes from memories; Eros, romantic love formed of personal infatuation or physical pleasure and begins with the body; and, lastly, Agape, selfless love that has an empathetic outlook on others and derives from the spirit-" she started to blush and I looked around the room for a second to see that everyone else had been confused as to who this other person was that she was talking about. "Goodness! You feel sexual love... burning within you like nothing I have ever felt before. So incredibly pure but at the same time carnal and... unbreakable an-"
I grabbed her hand and pulled it from my face. "All right," I stopped her.
"But, there is more," she told me.
"I already know how I feel, I don't need you to announce it to everyone- no offense, Mantis," I replied, looking back at the corner of the room where Bucky had been standing since he walked in halfway through. "Thank you."
She nodded. "Of course," she mumbled and walked back over to her seat.
"Well?" Tony started, drinking from his glass some more as the song changed to More Than a Feeling by Boston.
"Well, I think it's getting late and I should get to bed," I made up. It was only 10:00pm.
"Bullshit," he replied, holding his drink up. He looked quickly over at the spider kid, "Pardon my, er, French..."
"No, really, I-"
"Hold on, mister," Natasha tried to stop me by interrupting my sentence, standing from Bruce's lap. "Who is she?"
"Steve," Thor added in. "You must tell us her name at the very least."
I stood from the couch and didn't say anything, throwing my hands up into the air in defense, but to no avail as they kept coming at me relentlessly.
"Come on, Steve," Tony wondered. "Give us something."
"Is it Peggy?" Bruce asked, knowing full well I'd just seen her.
"Who?" Scott drunkenly dove in, everyone ignoring him.
"Well, that makes the most sense," Clint answered Banner. "It has to be."
Bucky walked up to me and I looked him dead in the eyes like I didn't know what to say. I felt like I was gonna shake out of my skin, I was so nervous. The look on his face, though, it calmed me.
The lyrics flowed through my ears - ... I looked out this morning and the sun was gone, turned on some music to start my day... - and acted as a momentary distraction.
He nodded his head and I knew this was the moment he felt was right, so I nodded back in agreement. "Yea, Steve," Bucky joined in, too, with a smile. "Who is it?"
Everyone stopped as soon as I opened my mouth, the anticipation solidifying in the air for us all to quite literally feel in this moment. "You know damn well who it is," I refused to look away from his blue eyes.
He smiled and nodded. "I do... somehow, though, everyone else here has yet to figure it out."
"Yea," I agreed. "I thought it was obvious."
"So did I," he went on, the eyes of everyone in the damned room switching back and forth between us as we chatted nonchalantly. "Maybe you should just tell them."
"Or... just make it a little more obvious- enough so that they know for sure."
"That would be appreciated, Stars and Stripes," Tony jumped in. "Any day now."
I looked at him, then turned to Bucky. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" I whispered so only he could hear, perhaps only so that I might elongate the period of our secrecy.
"There's no one else I'd rather be ready to do it with," he replied quietly.
He grabbed my face in his hands and smiled before kissing me lightly in front of everyone. I held it and pulled him closer just to make sure this was really real.
"Well, I'll be," Natasha murmured, the chorus of the song blaring through the room, feeling like they meant a little bit more than they did the last time I heard them.
We pulled apart and neither of us could stop smiling. It was like we had waited our whole lives for this and the moment had finally arrived.
"His name is James Buchanan Barnes," I announced. "His friends call him Bucky. He's from Brooklyn... and, God, we've been together since June 15, 1935."
"88 years?" Tony clarified, surprisingly still able to do quick math in his head when he's drunk.
"Every second thereof," Bucky replied. "At least all of it that I remember."
I laughed. "Well, I'd do it all again, you know."
"I do," he agreed. "So would I."
—————
So, not only am I surprised that I actually recognized all those oldies... I'm also surprised Bucky and I worked up the courage to literally show everyone instead of just tell them, not that Mantis gave us much of an alternative.
Now, everyone knows. There wasn't much of a reaction, though, I'm sure that'll come tomorrow.
It doesn't matter much to me, though. As long as we're free... that's all we needed.
~ Steve Rogers