I COULDN'T STOP fucking thinking about what Sebastian had said in class.
It was beautiful.
That's the only way I can describe it. His words, the way he said them, the way he though about it, his view of the tragic love story, was all just beautiful.
I remember looking at him intently as he spoke those words with such passion. Seeing the way his lips would curl up into an almost invisible smile when he spoke about certain parts, or the way his Addams apple bobbed up and down each time he went to swallow. The way his chest rose up and down as he breathed ever so gently. His fingers fidgeting around with each other as all pairs of thirty eyes were glued to him, one of his nervous habits that I picked up. The way his brown curly locks were so messy, yet placed so delicately on his head looked so shiny that I was desperate to run my hands through it. Lastly, those beautiful ocean blue eyes that I've grown to cherish. The way the would widen when he spoke about a certain thing so passionately, or how they would brighten up when he knew that Mr Williams was actually giving him a chance to answer a question. And how those very same eyes, would fleet over to me so briefly, I almost kissed it.
But I didn't.
I saw the way he talked about the undeniable love that Romeo and Juliet shared. And I saw the way he looked at me when he talked about their undeniable love. It caused a swarm of butterflies to be unleashed in my stomach without my permission. I tried so hard to get rid of the feeling. The feeling of his gaze on me, the feeling I get when he smiles, or gives his whole hearted laugh, or the feeling I get when I see the way he acts with his little sister Sofia. But I've mainly tried to get rid of the feeling I get from the way he treats me.
Sure, we still argue to no end, but there's something different in the way we argue now. It's as if, something has shifted. I don't know how I feel about my new found feelings I guess, but I do know that it's making me happier. It's making me feel things that I've never felt before, not even with Jackson.
With Jackson, things were different. Things were toxic. Because at the beginning of our relationship, he was amazing. He never pressured me into anything I didn't want to do, he listened to me when I needed to rant about something, he took care of me when I was ill, and he took me on a lot of expensive dates. Things were great between us, at the time. After about two months of going out, he started getting really distant, not wanting to hang out, calling me in the middle of the night when he was drunk and claiming he loved me. It might not seem crazy, or it might seem that I was just too clingy, but that's the thing. I was clingy. I like to be a clingy girlfriend, but obviously not in a creepy stalker way. Why?
Because girls are clingy as fuck.
I like to be constantly reassured that I'm in a nice relationship, a loving one. I like to be held by my significant other, whether it's too comfort me or because they like my touch. I like to be listened to, not just heard, to be listened. And I like to listen to them. I like to know that they would never do me wrong, and if they did then they would be sorry and do their best to apologise to me. I like to know that I will never be alone. That they'll never leave me. If they want to leave me because they've fallen out of love with me, or they simply feel that they aren't in the right place for a relationship, that's fine with me. It will hurt I admit, but it's not all about me. But, if they want to leave me simply because they've done me wrong, or because they simply don't care about me anymore, that is not okay. I will be the one to leave them, not the other way around.
But there's a feeling in my gut, that I somehow know that Sebastian would never do that to me, he would never intentionally hurt me. Even if there is no us in the future, he would never hurt me for his benefit.
Because that's not Sebastian.
•••
"Al, you know that I'm never one to turn down a shopping trip right? Especially down 5th Avenue! But we literally went shopping for Paris two days ago, and now you want to go again?" Evie questioned from beside me, holding expensive branded bags as we walked down the busy streets of New York City.
Since it was winter time, Evie and I have opted for a warmer set of outfits today. Evie is wearing a woollen Chanel two piece skirt and jacket in baby blue and pink, black knee high boots, with three pearl necklaces, each one shorter than the other. Her long blonde curls were cascading down her back, stopping at the top of her waist.
My outfit consisted of black skinny jeans with a Gucci belt, a long sleeved plain white top with frills at the end of the arms. On top, I wore a red fluffy jacket. My outfit was paired with white boot heels, the sound of both our heels clicking on the pavement echoing through the streets.
"I just forgot a few things okay? I need to get a new dress for the Christmas family dinner that Sebastian said was a formal outing! And I'm worried since we're a "couple" that I won't make a good impression on his family." I told Evie with a pout forming on my red lips.
"Why would you care so much about making a good impression on his family?" Evie asked me with confusion dancing in her eyes. Although the confusion was long gone before her eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets.
"You're stress shopping!" She dramatically gasped at me, turning her body to face mine completely.
"Why the fuck would I be stress shopping? I have nothing to stress about! I'm going to to Paris tomorrow with my best friends!" I whisper yelled at her, rolling my eyes at her assumption.
"True, I mean there's really nothing to dress abo- OH MY GOD!" Evie practically screamed, alarming the people who crowded the streets. I turned my head to her with wide eyes.
"What? Evie calm the fuck down! People are staring at us!" I whispered at her, giving a tight lipped smile to some of the people who continued to stare at us.
"You like Sebastian, don't you? Ugh I knew it! I knew it from the day Sebastian came up with his plan! I've got to call Nic! Oh Alex, this is so wonderful! We can go on double dates, and -" before Evie could finish off her rambling, I pulled her elbow on the direction of a small alley, between two shops.
"Don't you dare call that boyfriend of yours Evie! You know he can't keep his mouth shut about anything!" I told her with wide eyes as I shook my head back and forth like a fucking lunatic.
"Oh I know, he's so bad at keeping secrets. That's why I bought him a duck!" Even exclaimed with the brightest smile ever.
"You uh - What? Sweetie, you bought him a ... duck?" I made sure my hearing was correct, completely confused about the sudden topic change.
"Yes! Is for when he has been told something he can't tell anyone else, and you know how he can't do that, so, I bought him a duck that he can tell everyone's secrets to!" She smiled at her genius plan, her happiness not being knocked down at any point.
"You are one of a kind, Evelyn Rhodes." I giggled at my best friend, her actions surprising me more everyday.
"Wait! You distracted me! You never denied that you didn't like Sebastian!" Evie squealed in delight, jumping on her spot excitedly.
"Well, I don't even know if like is the correct word to describe my newfound feelings for Sebastian!" I defended myself, crossing my arms across my chest and avoiding eye contact.
"Are you serious? Like, no bullshit?" She asked me softly, putting her hand on my shoulder. I lifted my head to look into her dark blue eyes, my own eyes glazing over with unshed tears. I nodded slowly in response, Evie giving me a small smile and I know she's trying her best to hide her excitement.
"Then why are you about to cry? I thought you would be happy about this?" She tilted her head to the side, brows furrowed.
"I'm scared." I whispered so quietly I wasn't even sure if she heard me. But she did. She leant in and embraced me in one of her warm hugs filled with love. I wrapped my eyes around her small frame, digging my head into the crook of her neck as she smoothed my hair.
"I love you, Al. You know I'd kick his ass if he ever hurt you, right?" She whispered in my ear, giggling softly at what she said.
"Yeah, I know you would. I love you too, E." I whispered back, leaning my head back and pressing a quick soft kiss on her cheek.
"You know what you need? A spa day! I mean it's only," Evie stopped to check the time on her Cartier watch before finishing her what she was saying. "11am, we still have enough time to get all pampered for Paris!" Evie told me with a couple of giggles escaping her glossy lips.
"Well then, let's go!" I shouted to her as I grabbed her hand with mine and ran over to the spa.
•••
That's what we did for the entire day. We spent almost six hours in the spa, and afterwords we went to a couple of more shops getting last minute things for tomorrow, and then we went out for dinner before going back to my penthouse.
We were both lying on my bed and watching Legally Blonde when I got a text from a certain brown curly headed boy.
Sebby
Hey Lexi
Me
Hey Sebby, what's up?
Sebby
Nothing. Just wanted to text you.
Suddenly the whole of Noah's fucking arc was unleashed in my stomach.
Sebby
Lexi? You still theret?
Me
Yeah just spaced out sorry
Sebby
Are you excited for Paris?
Me
Yeah I am. What about you?
Sebby
So fucking excited sweetheart. You wanna know why?
Me
Why?
Sebby
Because we get to share our own room
My breath hitches in my throat at the sudden news.
Me
Why the fuck not?!?
Sebby
Because I told them that I was bringing my girlfriend and my grandma got excited and told me that we'll have a nice room, next to Evelyn and Nic's
Me
Is it too late to back out of the deal?
Sebby
Way to fucking late, Black. I couldn't back out even if I wanted to.
Before I could reply he sent another text.
Sebby
I'll see you tomorrow morning, baby x
Cause of death: Sebastian fucking Kingsley.
Is there a double meaning behind that 'backing out' text??
Let me know your assumptions as to what you think he meant!!
The Paris trip begins in the next chapter! I hope you're all ready because it's going to be (hopefully) amazing!
Status: unedited
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Thank you and ily all!🥰
- Addy :)