Harry stood there for what felt like hours just staring at the spot Tom had been in just moments before. As the shock wore off, a cold feeling starting in the center of his chest settled over him as what happened sunk in. He couldn't believe what had just happened. He had expected Tom to be shocked, yes, to be angry or just gloss it over, say thank you and just move on. Not for him to leave. Why? Why did he leave? Why had he opened his fat mouth?
Suddenly tears welled up in his eyes and spilled over and he was unable to stop them as he began to sob, his heart tearing apart. He had kept the way he felt a secret for this reason, he knew Tom wouldn't feel the same, wouldn't understand. No matter how much it hurt him to keep it quiet, it hurt even more now that it was out in the open. Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut? This would never have happened. Harry continued to sob, wiping at his face in a futile attempt to make it stop until he felt tugging on his pants and looked down at the wet eyes of his daughter.
"Mama?"
"Oh," Harry hiccupped, remembering that she was there, "Wynter. Oh, Wynter, it's okay," he said picking her up and wiping her face and holding her close. "It's okay," he said again, not sure if he was reassuring her or himself. But he couldn't stop his tears which made Wynter cry even more.
So they stood there crying together; Harry over his broken heart and Wynter because her parents had been yelling at each other and now her mama was sad and she didn't understand why.
Minutes that felt like hours, Harry got control of himself. Looking around, all Harry could see was their fight and all the good moments that would never happen again. Opening up gifts under the tree, watching movies, making out on the couch... He suddenly felt suffocated and had to get out. He couldn't stay here. Especially if Tom came back...if he came back.
Making a split decision, he went up the stairs to his bedroom and used his wand to pack his things into his slightly burnt trunk and did the same to Wynter's things. With a last look into his bedroom where he and Tom spent many a night making love. He had his trunk follow him downstairs. He went around the room taking whatever else he needed and then shrunk his trunk down and placed it in his pocket.
-Where are you going? Don't leave. I'm sure Master didn't mean it. He'll be back- Nagini hissed pleading with him to stay.
-I'm sorry, Nagini. I-I can't. I can't be here- Harry hissed back. –I just can't-
-Please, Harry. Stay. Wait until he comes back. He just made a mistake. You'll see-
-I can't. It hurts too much. I have to go...I'm sorry-
With that, he apparated away with Wynter.
xxx
Tom arrived back at his office at Riddle Manor but he didn't sit down, he couldn't sit still, pacing back and forth as he absorbed the confession that Harry had told him. Of all the things Harry could have said those words were the last he expected to hear. Ever.
Yet they explained a lot. Those looks he had been getting over the past few months...that was what that look was. He had seen adoration before, Merlin knows he got it all the time from Bella, but this had been different. How it was different? He didn't know. It just was.
All this time, Harry had been staring at him with love in his eyes and he hadn't even known. How could he have known? He had never been loved before, not like this. There were no strings attached to it. Just pure...love. To be honest. It scared him. He didn't understand why. Why him? Of all people, why him? He was the last person Harry could love, should love...and yet... Harry had confessed to him (screamed it at him really, but he didn't care). After all the bad things Tom had done, done to Harry. Yet he still loved him.
How that was possible, he did not know. But behind all the confusion and the shock that was starting to ebb away, he felt a warmth he had never felt before. It was kind, gentle, and squeezed his chest to the point he couldn't breathe. Yet the feeling was foreign and he squashed it down as hard as he could as it terrified him to what it was. But it wouldn't completely go away. It was still there. But it was...nice.
Tom stopped his pacing in front of the window and looked out at the melting snow and clutched at the fabric over his heart where he felt a warm pressure. Was this? No, it couldn't be. He didn't know. How could he know? So he pushed away those thoughts too. Instead, they returned to Harry.
Harry. Sweet, stubborn Harry. Harry who had so clearly not wanted to tell him how he felt? because he knew how Tom felt about it. It would lead to nothing with him. He saw love as a weak emotion that clouded your judgment, he always had. Especially with what happened to his mother. It was not needed. But now, confronted with Harry's feelings...was he wrong?
Harry didn't seem to be affected negatively by his feelings. The only thing was those looks he would give him that drove Tom crazy because he hadn't known what they were. If anything it made Harry more conscious of how he looked and acted, and not in a bad way. If anything he had noticed Harry even more. The only loss in judgment was when Tom had been provoking him. And when he had left-
He stopped.
Harry had confessed to him and he had just...left.
-Shit!- he hissed and apparated.
xxx
Harry didn't know where to go so he apparated to the only place he knew. Ron and Hermione's place. The only thing was that in his haste to get out, he didn't remember the time difference and landed on the front porch at 1:43 in the morning.
Seeing how dark it was, Harry floundered at what to do. Ron and Hermione were sleeping and he didn't want to wake them. Turning back around toward the street and tried to think of where to go. But Wynter had other ideas. She didn't like all the jostling and the apparating, so she started to cry. So there he was in the middle of the night on his friend's doorstep trying to get her to be quiet while trying not to cry himself.
"Hush, jelly bean, hush. I know, I know. Just be quiet. Mama will figure something out."
"Harry?"
Harry turned around and saw Ron at the door with Hermione just behind him. He realized that they must have sensed the wards letting him in.
"Hi," Harry said, his mind blank at what to say. "I-I was just...I mean..."
Hermione must have seen something in his face because she opened the door wider and ushered them inside.
"What happened?"
"Um," Harry said as he tried comfort Wynter against his shoulder. "I just...I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's no problem, mate, you know you can come at any time," Ron said.
"Yeah. Thanks. I just...I didn't know where else to go..."
"Are you two okay?"
"Yeah. We're fine," Harry said, but he clearly wasn't. "I was just...hoping I could stay for a while," he said over Wynter's struggling. She didn't want to be held right now.
"Of course you can stay," Ron said.
"Yes. Stay as long as you want," Hermione agreed.
"Okay. Thanks. I won't stay long, just until-Wynter, what's wrong with you?" Wynter continued to cry and struggle in his arms only now she started to scream, getting louder. Harry tried to shush her helplessly and struggled to hold back his hopeless tears.
"Let me take her," Hermione offered and hoisted Wynter into her arms. But she continued to struggle and shouted "No, no, no!" until she flopped onto her face on the couch and lay there crying. There was nothing to be done but to let her cry it out.
Harry felt like doing the same as his daughter, but instead, he put his hands over his face for a minute to gain some control over himself.
"What happened?" Hermione asked again, rubbing Wynter's back.
Harry shook his head slowly, still trying to process what had happened. "I told him. I told...I told Marque how I felt."
"You did, how'd it go?" Ron asked.
Harry just gave them a look that told them exactly how it went. "He left."
"He what?!" They both exclaimed.
"He kept pushing and pushing to tell him what I was hiding from him and I just...yelled it at him...and he left. Without saying anything. I couldn't stay there after that. I just couldn't."
"Maybe...maybe he just got scared," Hermione said hopefully.
"No," Harry said shaking his head. "He wouldn't. He's not-He would have at least said something, anything at all that he at least heard me. But he just left."
"Yeah, but he needed to know how you felt," Ron put in.
"No, he didn't. I knew he wouldn't understand. Knew how he would react and yet I told him anyway. I ruined everything opening my stupid mouth. He'll never want to see me again." At most he'll want to see Wynter, she was his daughter, but not him. Nothing would be the same.
"That's not true," Hermione said.
"Yes, it is!" Harry insisted, he was making himself upset, but he was beyond caring at this point. "I knew I shouldn't have fallen in love with him. Not him. Of all people. But I did it anyway. I couldn't help it and now it's all ruined."
Hermione opened her mouth to question him, but Ron stopped her with a slight touch and shook his head as Harry put his face in his hands and start to cry.
So Ron and Hermione could only watch and try to comfort him as Harry fell apart blaming himself for simply falling for the wrong guy. Eventually, both he and Wynter were cried out and they were led to the spare bedroom where they fell asleep, Wynter curled up in her mother's arms.
xxx
As soon as Tom stepped inside the house, it felt cold. Like something was missing, but he ignored it in favor of finding Harry and talking to him, he had to talk to him. "Harry?" he called looking around the first floor and on the couch, but he wasn't there.
-You're an idiot- Nagini hissed at him from her position by the couch but Tom ignored her and went upstairs.
"Harry?" Tom called, then stopped dead when he opened the door to their room. He had been expecting to see Harry curled up on the bed, crying, that he could handle...but the room was empty. Tom felt his stomach drop when he saw Harry's wardrobe standing open and realized it was empty. Panicking he checked the bathroom in hopes he was there, but no. Turning, he went to Wynter's room to find her gone from her crib and her chest of drawers open and empty.
No, no no! Tom thought as he rushed back downstairs to look outside. Nothing. The house was empty.
-They're gone-
-Gone? What do you mean gone?- He hissed to his familiar in distraught.
-I mean Harry took the Wynter-hatchling and left. He was quite upset-
-He can't, he can't just leave-
-But he did- Nagini said slithering to his side -You hurt him. He said he couldn't stay here-
Tom stared at the snake in shock and felt an unfamiliar feeling welling up inside of him. Despair.
"What have I done?"
xxx
Harry woke up a few hours later to the smell of coffee and bacon. He was exhausted and drained but his stomach was reminding him that he hadn't had dinner. Wynter obviously thought the same as she woke up, hair sticking up everywhere, and started to cry.
"Shh. It's okay. Mama's right here."
"Mama," she murmured sleepily and burrowed her face into his shoulder.
Harry picked Wynter up and then cautiously opened the bedroom door and followed the scent to the kitchen where Ron and Hermione were sitting, fully dressed for the day. "Hi," he said timidly.
Hermione smiled warmly, "Good morning. Are you hungry?"
"Un-gee," Wynter answered.
Hermione laughed. "Do you like eggs?"
"Eg!" she exclaimed.
"She loves eggs," Harry said and gave Wynter's head a kiss.
"Okay. I'll make you some eggs. Have a seat." Hermione then busied herself at the stove to make them some food.
"How are you doing, mate?" Ron asked once Harry was settled with Wynter in a transfigured highchair beside him.
Harry signed, "I don't know."
"If you want to talk...you know I'm here, right?"
"I know. Thank you. I'm just...not ready yet."
"Good. Just so you know. And like we said, you and Wynter can stay as long as you need."
"That's right," Hermione agreed bringing over plates of egg and toast for Harry and just eggs for Wynter.
They settled into eat and filled in the quiet with idle chatter and what Ron and Hermione were doing today for work. Yet soon it was time for them to leave. Ron left first because he had a team meeting to get to and Hermione not far behind.
"You can make yourself at home and use whatever you need. Are you sure you don't need anything?" Hermione asked for the last time as she made the way to the door.
"I'm sure. We'll be fine."
"Owl me if you do need anything," she said and gave him an extra-long hug. She then left, leaving Wynter and Harry to themselves.
Harry just took Wynter to the spare bedroom and pulled out some toys for her to play with.
"Mama. Dadee?" Wynter asked curiously.
Harry felt a lump form in his throat. "H-He's not here right now, jelly bean."
"Oke," she responded and went back to playing. To her it was just another day, last night's ordeal forgotten.
Harry didn't have the heart to tell her that it might be a while before she got to see him again.
xxx
Though it would be a while for Wynter to see him, Harry saw him only a few hours later. Harry had put Wynter to bed as she was still exhausted from earlier and it was technically her bedtime. Yet Harry couldn't sleep, so he sat in the living room to watch TV.
He was just starting to drift off when he heard someone calling his name. Sitting up straight, he listened and realized it was coming from outside. So he went to the window and immediately hid heart racing. It was Tom.
Tom had somehow found Ron and Hermione's house, yet he couldn't get close because of the wards in place. So he stood out by the street calling for him, not even bothering with the fake accent. Pleading for him to come out and talk to him.
But Harry couldn't. Not after what happened. So he curled up under the window and cried as Tom continued to call for him for what seemed like hours. It eventually stopped and Harry just sat there a while longer then peeked out and saw Tom was gone.
Then Harry went to the bedroom and lay down beside Wynter and fell into an exhausted sleep.
xxx
Tom sat in the cold house, chilled to the bone after standing out in the cold for over an hour. But he didn't care.
It hadn't been hard to find Harry, the necklace he had given him also had a locator on it so he would know where he was if he was in trouble. Plus, where else would he go? His friends' place was the first place he would go to. So he had apparated outside but had not been able to get through the wards to the house...well, he could have ripped them down, but he had decided against it.
So he had just stood outside in the cold and snow and called to him to come out to talk. He had thought for a moment that Harry wasn't there, that he had gotten it wrong. But then he saw the curtains twitch for a moment and then nothing. But Tom knew it had been Harry. Felt that it was him. He had stood out there for nearly 2 hours just hoping he could get Harry to come out so he could talk to him, make him understand...understand what exactly, he didn't know. But he had to at least apologize for his actions. Yet no matter how much he called and pleaded, Harry didn't come out.
Eventually, he had just returned home to Haven Hall. It was just as cold inside as it had been in London, but Tom was numb to it all and it wasn't just because he was cold. He felt like he had lost Harry because of his stupid impulse to leave in his confusion. He should have just stayed. He couldn't get Harry's devastated look as he turned away.
Tom didn't understand what it was he was feeling, it was foreign and it hurt. And he hated that it hurt. He didn't understand why it hurt. He felt like a stereotypical schoolgirl after a breakup. Because that was what it was, wasn't it? A breakup? Tom's chest throbbed uncomfortably in his chest at the thought. He didn't even know what they even were, they never really put a label on it. All he knew was Harry wasn't here and he wanted him back. It wasn't the same without him here. And he wanted to see Wynter too. He missed his daughter and her bright smile and bubbly laugh.
-Master. It's cold- Nagini hissed coming to his side.
Tom sighed and finally got up to light the fireplace and just sat down in the chair in front of it as Nagini made herself comfortable by the fire.
-Were you able to talk to Harry?- she asked.
Tom was silent for a moment –No. He wouldn't come out-
-He probably doesn't want to see you right now-
-Then how am I supposed to explain to him to- He paused remembering the phone and quickly strode over to it. Locating the lone number on a piece of paper belonging to the Granger/Weasley household, he dialed and listened to it ring.
The phone picked up. "Harry-" he spoke quickly but the tone quickly went dead. "He hung up..."
-Guess he doesn't want to speak to you- Nagini replied.
-You are not helping-
-I am not trying to. You made Harry upset and he took the Wynter-hatchling away-
-I know. I'm trying to fix it- Tom stated as he put the phone back in the cradle.
-Not very well. He may not even want to come back-
-Why are you saying this?!- Tom hissed angrily.
-Because you need to hear it. This is not going to just go away and everything is going to be fine again IF Harry decides to come back-
Tom said nothing and just looked away.
-Whether you like it or not you need to understand what Harry is feeling and what YOU are feeling and accept it before going to talk to Harry again- Nagini wisely stated.
-Why do I have to do that?-
-Well...What are you going to say when he agrees to see you?-
-Tell him to come back-
-And?-
-And that I'm sorry-
-And?-
-And, what?- Tom asked, annoyed.
-He told you he loves you. What are you going to say to that?-
-I-I don't know-
-That's not good enough-
-What do you know?!- Tom snapped and got up but didn't know where he was going so he went to the kitchen.
As much as he didn't want to admit it, Nagini was right. He had to figure out what to say and it couldn't be just anything. He didn't want to lie and push Harry away. It had to be truthful and honest and that meant looking at those feelings he had pushed away...Yet it wouldn't mean anything if Harry refused to talk to him.
Tom sighed as he leaned back against the kitchen island and looked out the window...only to spot the glaring yellow eyes of Harry's owl.
"Hedwig," Tom breathed and opened the window to let the snowy owl in. She must have been out hunting, which was a good thing because now Tom could write a letter to Harry. Only the bird seemed to know what was going on and flew up on top of the fridge and glared at him.
"Come here, I want to send Harry a letter."
Hedwig just turned around and showed him the back of her feathers.
"Hedwig, please," Tom said and internally cursed himself for having to resort to pleading with a bird. "I-I know I messed up. I just need to talk to Harry." Hedwig continued to glare at him over her shoulder and Tom sighed. "Do I have to beg?... Please, Hedwig. I really am sorry for what I did. I just need to speak to him, to explain, but he won't even see me. I don't know what else to do."
Hedwig seemed to consider his truthfulness and then flew down to land on the back of the barstool at the kitchen island.
"Okay. I'll write a letter. Hold on," Tom said and rushed over to the desk at the corner of the room. He pulled out a sheet of parchment and started to write.
Harry,
I'm sorry. Please come back.
Tom paused and read over what he wrote. He had to admit that Nagini was right. Looking at it, it wasn't enough. He crumpled up the note and started again.
Harry,
I am very sorry about my actions, I should not have walked out. Please come back home so we can talk. The house is very empty without you and Wynter in it, so I will be at Riddle Manor in the meantime. It is closer to you. Send Hedwig with your answer. She is still somehow able to get through my wards. Please come back.
Sincerely,
Tom
Tom read over the letter and frowned. It didn't look right, but he didn't know what to say. He didn't lie, he was sorry and the house was very empty without them. So it will have to do.
He placed a charm on his name so if anyone else read it, it would appear as his pseudonym. Then he took it to Hedwig to tie to her leg. Though she wasn't going to make it easy. She angrily pecked at his hands as he approached her, drawing blood before she allowed him to tie it. Then she left out the window.
Now he just had to wait for a response.
AN: Haha! I finally caught up with where I am at on the other sites I post on. Now you have to wait just like everyone else. Hopefully, it won't be long because I have the next chapter almost done. I hope you've enjoyed it so far. Leave a comment, I like those :)