emma had been awake for almost eighteen hours—not by her own free will, of course. her feeble attempt to get any sleep last night had been faltered by a cold that was seeping its way through her body. after hours of restless tossing and turning, emma made the bold decision to call luke—surely he would still be awake.
the two talked well past sunrise, emma only hanging up once luke's small talk and laughter had turned into slow, steady breathing.
now, hours later and with no sleep to get emma through the remainder of the day, she was sat on her sofa, aimlessly shuffling through the mail. a majority of the mail was set aside or discarded into the trash, but there was one envelope that caught emma's attention.
it was from her brother, whom she hadn't spoken to in almost two years. maya had also gotten the same piece of mail—which could only mean one thing. her brother was finally getting married. emma wasn't necessarily surprised by the news, ethan had been with his steady girlfriend since high school.
emma made the decision to move to a new city the day she turned eighteen, which resulted in her family being royally pissed off at her for the better half of three years. but, there was a reason maya and emma packed up and left their home town with no intentions of ever going back. there were too many memories there—memories emma wanted to forget. they were too painful to think about.
the night before emma's father had been diagnosed with cancer was the last time emma would be able to sleep through the night—that was six years ago. emma had only been able to sleep for the entirety of a night once. the first night of the road trip, when emma had fallen asleep on the couch.
she didn't know luke was the reason she slept so soundly. the closer he was to her, the better she slept. no nightmares, no waking up in the middle of the night screaming, just a warm feeling of content that she hoped to experience again one day.
once her father had passed away, only three short years after his diagnosis, emma was haunted by memories and nightmares every time she closed her eyes.
getting under four hours of sleep a night might sound, to most people, almost unbearable. but emma preferred it that way. if she wasn't sleeping, she wouldn't be forced to see her father's face. she wouldn't have to relive the worst moment of her life—the moment she watched the only man who had ever loved her take his last breath as she cried by his hospital bed.
pain changes people, it makes you do unthinkable things— anything to get you through the day.
emma's favorite places became places she could never look at again. walking past the small diner that emma and her father ate at every thursday night crushed her. seeing the empty dock that emma's father had taught her how to fish on broke her. but standing in her parent's empty room, knowing that his unmade side of the bed would never be slept on again, killed her inside.
she couldn't bare waking up in that broken home every morning—the sadness was so intense it made her want to die. she took her father's death the hardest, she had always been a daddy's girl at heart.
emma's mother and brother thought they needed to be together, that emma leaving would only be a temporary fix. but emma didn't care, she had to get out of there.
she left that day and never looked back, and she never intended to—until now.
emma wasn't heartless. she would never miss something as important as her only sibling getting married. the wedding was still a few months away, so emma had time to process everything and get ready to face the things she had kept locked away for three years.
it wasn't something she talked about often, only if she really trusted you. ashton and maya were two of the only people who knew emma's past, and they would support her unconditionally. she knew the only way she would get through the visit back home was by having her friends with her. ashton would be her plus one, luke would be maya's.
emma was unaware that luke was facing a situation she had found herself in years prior—a sick father with a declining rate of survival. luke also did not know that emma had been through the same thing he was currently facing.
perhaps if they did know, things would be different. but for now, their late night adventures served as the distraction they both needed. anything was better than facing the darkness alone, even if they didn't know they were the only thing keeping each other together.
-
"emma, wake up" ashton nudged the sick girl in hopes of getting her to open her eyes. maya had phoned ashton on her way to work, filling him in on emma's current state.
ashton, who always worried more than he should, was quick to call out of work. he said goodbye to luke—who promised to stop by after his shift, and stopped by emma's favorite places, picking up the essentials—soup, tissues, Nyquil and movies.
maya left her key under the mat, so ashton could get in without making emma get up. it was nearly five in the evening, and she had only been asleep for forty minutes.
emma quickly hid the wedding invitation in between the sofa cushions, talking about her family was the last thing she wanted to do right now.
"hi, i'm up" she cracked a small smile and stuck her arms out, waiting for her boyfriend to hug her. she pulled him onto the couch next to her and pressed her head against his chest, closing her eyes even though she knew sleep was out of her reach.
emma was a giant baby when she was ill, lounging around on the couch for days until she could muster enough energy to do something as simple as showering. ashton didn't mind, he was fully prepared to take care of emma when she's sick for the rest of his life.
"you need to eat something, baby. the boy's will be here soon" ashton whispered, pulling her closer to him as they started watching 'Criminal Minds', one of emma's favorite shows.
emma groaned, not liking the idea of everyone seeing her while she was sick. she was also lacking an appetite, knowing ashton would have to force her to eat something sooner or later. "i'm not hungry, can I eat later?" she peeked up at him through her eyelashes and saw him nodding his head. "at least try to sleep, okay?" she nodded, knowing she wouldn't be able to fall asleep.
the pair sat on the couch in silence for a while, momentarily laughing at something funny or gasping from shock. ashton had noticed she hadn't fallen asleep, despite the fact she could barely keep her eyes open. he wasn't sure if he should be concerned or not.
a knock on the door interrupted them from their binge session. ashton was greeted by luke, calum and michael who all plopped onto the sofa next to emma.
emma wasn't sure what time it was, being sick made her lose track of time, everything sort of mushed together.
"emma, looking lovely as always" michael patted her head and sent her a small smirk—both of them being well aware that she looked anything but lovely. emma simply rolled her eyes. her and michael hadn't talked much since the night of her and maya's party, when michael had made the rash decision to lock her and luke out of her own apartment.
it was a few weeks ago, but she was still holding a grudge. her and luke had to walk three miles to a random diner and buy everyone breakfast, then call maya claiming she forgot her key and needed to be let in. no one asked any questions, but that didn't mean emma wasn't still pissed at michael for his little stunt.
"do you care if I have this soup?" calum asked.
emma giggled and leaned back into ashton. "it's probably cold, but go for it" he frowned once calum started eating emma's cold soup. "babe, what are you going to eat?" ashton whined.
emma bit her lip and thought for a second, but couldn't come up with anything that would satisfy ashton "i'll figure it out, don't worry" she assured him, shifting her gaze to luke who was already staring at her.
"you liked that pasta I made for maya that one day, didn't you?" luke questioned, resting his arms along the back of the couch. "mhm" emma nodded, eyes lighting up at the thought of pasta. her absolute favorite food.
luke didn't hesitate to stand up and walk to the kitchen, already knowing maya had all of the ingredients he would need. he began boiling a pot of water and setting it on the stove, carefully watching it bubble to ensure it didn't boil over—not like it would be the first time. luke smiled at the distant memory.
luke added the pasta shells to the water and pulled his phone from his pocket—answering it once he saw maya was calling him. "hi baby" he smiled, even though she couldn't see him.
"hey, are you at the apartment yet? i'm almost home"
"yeah, i'm currently in your kitchen making emma pasta" luke chuckled
"ooh, save some for me—the light's green you piece of shit, go— i'll be home soon. I lo—uh, bye" maya eagerly hung up the phone after almost telling luke she loved him. they had only been dating a few months, and she feared it was too soon for the "l" word. they had a good thing going and she didn't want to scare him off.
luke had noticed, but pretended he didn't. he spooned the pasta on to a plate and wandered back into the living room. calum and michael were fighting over what to watch next while ashton placed a soft kiss on emma's lips.
"you probably shouldn't be kissing her, you're gonna get sick" luke advised, handing the plate of pasta to emma. luke noticed her roll her eyes, but she didn't bother shooting a snide comment to him.
luke was used to the sassy, sharp tongued emma. not the soft spoken, quiet emma sitting on the couch. seeing her in such a vulnerable way made luke feel compelled to take care of her, to be gentle with her.
"thanks for the overbearing concern, but i'll be fine" ashton said.
maya walked through the door, mumbling a few "hi's" to everyone before heading into her room to change out of her uniform. she walked back out, placing a kiss on luke's cheek and grabbing her own plate of pasta. she had originally planned on eating in the living room with luke, but decided to sit by herself in the kitchen for one reason.
luke had taken the empty seat on the edge of the couch, which is ironically right next to emma. maya felt a churn in her stomach once she saw how close luke was to her, and maya was disappointed that luke hadn't moved to sit somewhere else.
maya ate in silence and put her plate in the sink once she had finished. she figured taking a shower would rub the intolerable coffee smell off of her skin, and it would keep her from having to talk to luke for that much longer.
luke noticed maya's odd behavior, but had assumed it was from her little slip up on the phone earlier. luke decided to talk to maya in her room, considering she had decided to be petty and not say anything to him.
"are you okay?" luke questioned, taking a seat on her bed. maya quickly gathered her shower necessities and nodded her head, barely paying luke any attention before kissing him quickly and heading towards the bathroom to start her shower. he sighed and retreated back to the living room, figuring he and maya could talk once her shower was over.
what was going to be a quick, five minute shower turned into a full blown forty five minute event. maya made sure to take her time, which entailed her putting on a mini concert in the shower. calum, ashton and michael had left to pick up pizza, with luke staying behind because he just had to see how the episode ended.
the boys retuned—pizza in hand—as they realized maya was still in the shower.
"jesus christ, they won't have hot water for the rest of the week at this rate" calum joked and set the pizza's on the counter, grabbing a slice and shoving it into his mouth.
"are my eyes deceiving me or is emma actually asleep before midnight?" michael had walked into the living room, where luke and emma were currently sat on the couch.
luke's feet were lazily resting on the coffee table, and a small throw pillow was nestled between luke's thigh and emma's head. she had fallen asleep roughly five minutes after everyone had left, her head resting on the small pillow as she laid sideways on the sofa. luke was afraid to move in fear of waking the girl up, so he stayed still and occasionally ran his fingers through her hair when he noticed she was stirring around in her sleep.
ashton had called luke once, wondering if emma was okay because she hadn't texted him back. ashton was confused when luke had taken a picture of emma and sent it to him. surely emma wasn't sleeping—she never fell asleep this early, sick or not.
"you know emma feels like shit when she falls asleep early" ashton joked, but only to mask his confusion of the situation.
"yeah, that's definitely not why she's asleep right now" michael mumbled like he was hiding some big secret no one else knew about. "what do you mean?" ashton shot the boy a sideways glance, urging him to continue.
"it's obvious—she's only asleep because luke is next to her" michael pointed out, stealing a piece of pizza from calum's hands.
"don't touch my pizza, bitch" calum swatted michael's hands and took his food back, swallowing it whole before his friend could take it again.
ashton couldn't focus on their conversation, he was too confused by michael's comment. he had noticed luke and emma growing closer, and he couldn't ignore the bad feeling in his stomach when he noticed the two alone together— ever since he found out they had slept together, he began second guessing the dynamic of luke and emma's relationship. ashton trusted emma, there wasn't a doubt in his mind about that. but luke was different, and ashton found himself conflicted.
ashton knew first-hand how luke used to act around girls, and a trip to Australia and back doesn't just change someone. he recalled how inappropriately luke had talked about emma after their hook up—even going as far to say that he couldn't get her off of his mind.
at the time, ashton couldn't be bothered to hear about some random girl luke picked up, but now, he recalled everything in vivid detail.
ashton would never be that boyfriend who tells their girlfriend who she can and can't hang out with, and he should surely be able to trust his best friend, but ashton couldn't ignore that luke and emma had gotten a little too close for his liking.
sure, it seemed mostly friendly, but looks can be deceiving.
luke noticed the shower had stopped and gently stood from the couch, moving emma's head so that it was resting flat on the sofa. he nodded at the boys—who were still hungrily eating pizza— and intentionally avoided ashton's gaze.
luke was no expert in girls, but he could tell when maya was upset with him. not confronting the situation would cause maya to bottle this up and later explode at luke, which is exactly what he didn't want to happen.
the moment emma's head hit the couch, her eyes fluttered open. she sat up and slowly rose to her feet, ignoring her pounding headache and pulling a blanket around her to hide her goosebumps. ashton noticed her standing up, and walked over to her. "what are you doing?" he placed his hands on her shoulders and softly pushed her back down.
"I need a sweatshirt, i'm cold" she pouted.
"i'll get it, stay here"
ashton walked into emma's room, going walking towards her dresser and pulling open a random drawer. he shuffled through her endless amount of t-shirts, hoping to find something with sleeves. he noticed a t-shirt—a boy's t-shirt—that didn't belong to him. he figured, no, he hoped it was her brothers.
he moved to another drawer, this one filled with sweatshirts, and began looking for one of his. he found about four of his neatly folded and tucked in the back of the drawer. they no longer smelled like his cologne— as they were doused in her perfume.
ashton tugged a random sweatshirt from the pile. it was a sweatshirt he had never seen her wear before, and it wasn't his.
he vaguely remembered luke wearing this exact hoodie on multiple occasions.
_______________
question: ghost of you or amnesia?
this was boring, i'm sorry :-)
thank u so much for reading, voting & commenting, I appreciate you all more than you realize<3