A Student
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Chapter 22
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The whole point of everything I do is to find myself. To seek happiness and learn about myself. What I'm capable of and what I'm not. Right now, I want to stay in this place full of illegally behavior. I am already here, do I want to turn back? I'm sure I don't want to. Do I want to join in the wrongdoing? No. Do I want to hang around my boyfriend and meet the other side of the world? Yes.
"I want to stay," I say looking up to him smiling.
He leans down kissing me softly.
"Keep it PG!" Shouts Dion. "Nah keep it pornographic no issue with that," he adds.
I roll my eyes and go back to the table full of junk food. "Well, is there food here?" I ask moving stuff around. Huge bags of Doritos, Cheetos, candy, soda, Takis, is there food in here at all?
"Yes," answers Trevon. "You're looking at it right now."
I scoff. I grab a chocolate bar and walk back to the couch next to Cris. "This is what you do? Get high, play video games," I ask looking around the place one more time. "Seems pretty legit."
"We can go shoplifting," Dion says.
"Oh God please no, don't give her any more ideas," Alec begs sitting next to me. I lay in his chest opening my chocolate bar, but I can't help the laugh that comes out of me.
"On my bucket list," I say. Everyone eyes me like I'm nuts so I add, "just kidding." But... Am I really kidding? Would I go shoplifting carelessly? I guess I wouldn't know until I try.
"No but for real what do you guys do here?" I ask taking a bite of my chocolate.
"Do drugs, get drunk, have sex, it depends on the mood," answers Trevor.
Note to myself: never ask about meeting cites.
"Of course you're invited to none of that," Alec adds breaking the ice cold silence. "Trevor, don't be so literal next time."
"Oh come on, Nysa knows what we do she isn't stupid. We sniff sugar, drink apple juice and kiss pretty ladies," he corrected smiling at me. "And don't let anyone govern you, Nysa. You do whatever the hell you want Princess." He winks. "That includes Alec," he murmurs.
It's right there. Just one request away, a simple question, to pay and take it. Or it can even be given free. Do I want to try this? Do this? Take it? Go full on crazy and "sniff sugar"? I sigh, my mind and heart for once agree on something, and drugs is not my thing. I never lied to myself about that I guess, I've never really even enjoyed the topic.
"Who else has access down here?" I ask.
"Well Princess you gave access to Annie, remember?" Dion asks. "She hasn't come by, I guess she doesn't want to cross paths with you." Cris suddenly sits up and starts cursing out the Playstation four. We all ignore him. "You were the one to order me to mix cocaine and sugar powder."
"And you're following right?" I asked crossing my arms.
"Yes, Your Highness," he hisses.
"She said what?" Asked Ray and Cris together as one.
"Your Princess here asked the favor. To mix cocaine and sugar powder." Dion shrugs. "Only for Anya, Jenna and Annie that is. Wouldn't want the whole city to hunt my ass. Is that even healthy?" He asks me.
"It's healthier than cocaine," I answer.
Is it healthy? I roll my eyes at myself, it's better than pure cocaine. I sigh, I truly feel bad for the girls. If there was just a way to help them. But I'll be dealing with three cocaine addicts, I'm not fully capable of restraining them and helping them throughout withdrawals. Plus you first have to accept you need help, then you need to seek help, but I don't think they're even aware of how bad their case is. Alec kisses my cheek and coops me in his arms, he knows this is affecting me. I do want to help them badly, but how?
"Is everyone here also addicted to this junk?" I ask sad for the girls.
"Look I'm the provider, someone here has to keep their brain clear," Dion says. "Alec also refrains from using it, he's not the drug kind of person. Vickie also, she isn't fan of it. It's out of her-"
"Fashion code." Every guy finishes.
"You don't?" I ask Alec smiling.
"Aw," Dion coos when Alec kisses me. Alec shakes his head, it somehow does makes me happy. At least I know I don't have to expect him walking through my doors tripping over himself.
"Wait so Vickie, she's clean."
"I hate the term clean," Trevor murmurs in the back stuffing his face with junk food. "Do I look dirty? I'm very much clean I shower twice a day with soap."
I roll my eyes.
"Vickie is actually the cleanest out of all of us," says Cris. "Except with her little problem with game playing. She loves to bet a lot of money on table games. I think she'll drive her parents bankrupt."
"We are all some way or another fucked up," says Ray.
True.
The silence is interrupted when the sound of crashing takes over. I turn to look back, Alex who hasn't engaged with the conversations is crying. I gasp from surprise walking straight for him. It does something in me to watch someone who I thought ought to be strong cry. I touch his shoulder, but he shrugs me off. I come to stand in front of him and lift my hands to touch his and drop them from his face. His phone is crushed in his hands, and I remember when I came in he was talking in the phone. I cup his face in my hands and wipe his tears away.
"It's fixable," I say to him.
"Man what happened?" Trevor asks coming to us.
I look around, I was the first to be here, and notice before anyone did. Alex looks at me a weird way, and crashed me against his chest for a hug. I pat his back and wrap my arms around him. What the hell did I just stepped into? Either way I am here for Alex, I'm sure he's not crying for any reason.
"It's Alexandra," he says letting me go after a long time.
"Your sister? What happened to her?" Trevor asks.
By the frightening look on his face Trevor had met Alexandra before. As the frightening look expands across the room, everyone here knew Alexandra except me. But Trevor out of all of them was the most effected, turning not pale but green.
"She's dead," Alex cries. "My sister is dead!"
I gasp tears streaming down my eyes. "Alexandra Martinez?" I ask doing my best not to just drop on my knees and rock back and forth in horror. The faces of all of them confirm for me indeed it is the Alexandra I know.
I hear a clanking sound before I can run away from the scene. Surely someone has decided to push me away from the hallway as if the space wasn't enough for them, causing my lunch directly into a free fall to the floor. I groan and kneel in the ground to clean everything. At least no one was here to witness the embarrassing moment.
"Stop guys!" I hear a cry, but it's a I'm-laughing-so-much-it-hurts cry.
Keep your head low, act like you aren't cleaning the floor. I secure the strap of my back pack over my shoulders taking the apple and going for the garbage. I stand up just to crash into a wall, which isn't exactly a wall, but someone as dumb as a wall. It's Frederick, a high school jerk, who can't be any more stupid because he's a homo sapiens and has to contain a brain. I look up to someone two foots taller than me. He pushes me away slamming against a locker and dropping the stupid food all over again.
"Hey Fred don't do that!"
I look to my right to see who's that stupid to intervene. It's Alexandra Martinez, part of the cheerleading squad. She jogs towards me in her small five feet one inch frame. Her brunet hair is up in a bun bouncing everywhere like they have a mind on their own. She looks a lot like me, petite and brunet. Alexandra takes a hand out to help me up. I hesitantly take it, standing up from the floor Frederick had pushed me into.
"I'm so sorry he's a stupid, stupid jerk," she says with a big fat smile. "He dropped your lunch?" She squeaks ashamed like if it was her fault. She goes back to her knees and scoots all of my lunch back into the plate. Once she's up I take it from her and throw the lunch in the garbage. "I'm so sorry," she apologizes. "Here," and she hands out five dollars for the mess her friend did. "I'll make sure my brother teaches him some manners."
A cheerleader, being nice. I guess the world isn't a movie after all.
"Thank you,..?" I say and she shoves the five dollars in my coat pocket.
"It's all cool, Nysa, right?" She is a really hyper girl. She literally can't stop jumping up and down like a bouncing piece of meat. She can't stop grinning either brighter than a Colgate smile. Her brown eyes are as shiny as the sun, except her eyes are brown. What amazes me more is the fact she knows my name, instantly making her a good person in my eyes. Not many people know my name, because not many people care.
"Yes," I murmur. "T-thank you, Alexandra."
"It's all cool!" She chirps like a canary. She does looks like a canary in her gold and white cheerleading uniform. "I heard you liked books. You're always reading. Well I found this in my mother's lost stuff. I was about to give it to the library guy, but I guess you might give it a better use."
A book!
She drops to her knees and retrieves a book from her backpack. She unwraps it from a plastic bag and hands it to me. It's a really, really, really old looking classical book of all Allan Poe's horror stories. I shriek and welcome it in my arms.
"Alexandra get your ass down here!" Someone shouts from the end of the hallway.
Alexandra swings the backpack over her shoulder and starts to jump again. She kisses both of my cheeks, waves her hand and starts running off to her friends. I smile widely, she knew my name.
I have no idea what to do in this situation. Alexandra and I never really knew each other much. We just crossed paths once in Freshman year, but then, she was so nice to me the moment we met. She didn't care I could ruin her reputation with her friends, she just, she was nice to me from the very beginning. She and I only met once, and in that moment she was nicer to me than anyone's ever been in freshman year.
"What happened to her?" I ask my heart beating so loud I can barely hear my own question.
"I have to find him, and I have to kill him," Alex says.
"Kill who?!" Trevor shouted.
"The man who raped and killed my baby sister!" Alex cried turning around and taking his jacket along with him. I watch Trevor leave behind him, I'm sure Trevor is not going to stop him, he's going to join Alex in the hunt.
Alexandra was not only killed, but also raped. My hands shake watching Dion run behind them, I'm sure Dion will stop them from getting themselves killed.
"Nysa?" Alec calls me back to the moment.
I gasp my eyes widening in horror. Alexandra was a beautiful young girl. She might've been a few months older than me and her brother Alex. I let out a cry of horror, I remember how she amazed me because of her looks. She looked a lot like me with big eyes, brunette hair, short, petite, and without Wa-Bam sexy curves. I walk towards Alec and wrap my arms around him hugging him tightly. Alexandra was very much one of those people you just meet and you know their happiness radiates off them, not a single evil thought in their head. She was flawless, her looks were flawless, her personality was flawless, even her athletic performances were perfect. She had a future, and I know, we all know, she loved to dance and had a future dancing.
"Oh my God!" I cry.
Maybe I wouldn't be so affected if she wasn't raped on top of her death. As a girl, I rather die than be raped, and if both of those things happened one on top of the other I can't process this without crying. I know Alexandra was a strong girl, she would've overcome anything, but she didn't deserve this. I bet, me that just knew her a for minute, wish more death upon her rapist and killer than she could've.
That somehow frightens me. There's a rapist in town, a psychopath monster destroying a girl's... Everything. This town is pretty small if you ask me, everyone here knows everyone. I hug Alec tighter afraid of every girl in this town. I try to convince myself I'm going through a big paranoia, but can you blame me? I was sexually molested once by my best friend's sister, I don't want that to happen again.
"I'm taking Nysa home, Cris, Ray, make sure Alex won't end up killing himself in the process."
Alec literally drags me to his car. He couldn't wait for me to walk there, he had to carry me there bridal style. I guess he's shaken up too, we all knew Alexandra. He was with me in school, he was a popular guy, he might've enjoyed lunch right in the same table as she did. When his hand is trying to put on my seat belt he's shaking. He's actually shaking.
I take his hand tightly in mine. He lowers to his knees leaning his forehead on my thighs. "Alec, I'm safe. I'm okay. Cris and Ray will take care of Alex and Trevor. It'll be fine." I am being so stupid, it's not going to be fine for any of us, we've lost an angel. But I am just trying to say the right words here, trying my best to help him. "It won't happen to me."
He looks up his eyes glassy full of unshed tears. "You don't know that. Do you remember what happened to you last night? It could've been him. Goddamn it Nysa, it could've happened to you!"
I haven't realized that until now... I take a deep breath and look down to his hands. His knuckles are white from holding my hands so tightly. He's scared, he's more scared than I am myself. "You don't know that."
"Oh c'mon you're the smart one here baby girl. He didn't..." He gulps. "He didn't terrorize you because you were unconscious. There's no point in terrorizing if the victim isn't awake, now is there? God kill me now for what I'm about to say, but I'm so glad you had a panic attack. So glad it wasn't you baby girl, so glad."
Heck, I'm happy I passed out right there too.
"I'll take you home right now. Lock yourself up. This isn't right, Nysa."
"He aimed for two girls in less than a week," I whisper faintly.
"Exactly. From all girls you and Alexandra. There's not a single common thing between you two." That's somewhat vital, if there's a pattern we could tell authorities. But no, there's no pattern at all. Just the fact we went to school together, that's it. "Look at me, Nysa."
I turn my head, looking down at his frightened eyes. "I'll pick you up for school tomorrow. You're not waiting on some random bus stop anymore. Your mother will understand, I bet she wouldn't want you in the streets either. Nysa."
"Yeah?" I squeak.
"I'll protect you. I devote myself to protect you."
I lean down and wrap my arms around his neck. He puts on my seatbelt, kiss my forehead and closes my passenger door. When he's in and the engine is on he goes from zero to a hundred, and I mean this literally. He'll have to make a good clean to this car because by the time he's out the baseball field the car is covered in mud. Why is he driving so fast? I have no idea honestly, but either way I lift a hand and reach out to his shoulder. I run my thumb over his prominent cheekbones and jaw. He comes into Main Street, skipping every car that is in front of him.
"Calm down will you?" I ask him.
He laughs humorlessly. "There's a rapist in town and you want to calm down?" He hisses. "A psychopath raped and then killed one of my best friends. Not only that, he wanted to rape my girlfriend and who knows if also kill her, but I'll take a wild guess and say he definitely wanted to. Two of my most trusted friends are on his hunt daring to blow off his head no matter if they get caught. My two best friends are watching their back, risking their ass too. The psychopath has made two moves in less than a week, how's that even normal? Now you tell me, should I of all people be calmed?"
I stare at him gaping. "Well, sort of."
He takes my hand tight in his. "I'll be the one to blow off his head."
We are already home, he's out the door before I say anything else. He opens the door for me, I unbuckle the seat belt and walk out. He closes the door behind me, opened the window and helps me back in. I lean in and lift my arms to hug him. I take deep breaths of his scent, the familiar softness of his strong arms, in my sniffing moment I get caught up in his lips so close to mine. I love you, I wish I could just tell him, but my throat encloses. So I kiss him, letting my emotions guide the kiss. A soft and tender kiss resembling the touch of a baby's skin. A kiss in which we barely touched, just capturing our lips between each other's. But beneath the physical appearances, it felt like burning wildfire, expanding relentlessly across frozen oceans. Heat traveling from my lips to my chest, downwards. The fact his hands are touching me under my tee doesn't help the heat either. Spreading like a violent wildfire, soft as a baby's skin, and yet I can't tell if he feels the same thing.
He pulls away first, staring deep in my already dark eyes. I take a deep breath returning the gazing look, but trying to avoid anything that might give away my feelings. Would it change anything if I tell him? I look down to my hands, it's better not finding out now. I roll my eyes at myself, a psycho rapist is in town, you've probably met him before, and you're thinking about telling your boyfriend you're in love him?
"Nysa," he calls back from my zoning out.
I smile. "Yeah?" I tuck my hair behind my ear shifting from foot to foot. I tap the window frame with my hand nervously, better run than be caught with the feels.
"If you want to tell me something go ahead," he says running his fingers over my cheek.
I lean in his touch, breathing in and out slowly. It's not the time. I kiss his palm and back up fully inside my room. "Good night," I say with a smile. I lift my hand to the diamond pendant in my chest, but it's not there, I must've left it hidden in the empty Advil bottle. Alec closes the window for me from outside and soon I hear his car pull off.
"I'm in love with you," I whisper looking out the window. "All I've avoided, to fall in love, I couldn't avoid my feelings for you. You've grown in my mind as much as in my heart, and I don't think I'll be able to forget you. It makes me feel pathetic, the big probability that you don't feel the same, but I can't get out of this lonely zone. I'm stuck all by myself in love with you."
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PS: So much going on! Eeeek! Nysa caught Ebola, oh child, you think she's going to tell him any time soon? Comment your thoughts, I love you. Xx ~ Luna