Izzy's POV
I slept for almost 15 hours that night. I slept right through the only class I had on Thursday, which by the grace of fucking god was cancelled today for some reason. The first thing I did when I woke up was check my phone, and the cancellation email was the first notification. I don't think I'd ever been so lucky in my life.
When I tried to remember what happened last night it just turned into a big fuzzy blur. Everything was clear until I got into my room, and all I remember after was that Luke came in and helped me. All the specific details were lost down a rabbit hole. It was almost 5 in the afternoon, and when I tried to get out of bed I felt weak. As much as I didn't want to, I needed food before I passed out.
I quickly threw different clothes on and found my phone on some random place on the floor. My key card was placed neatly on my nightstand, so I slid it into my pocket and went slowly to the elevator. It took every last bit of energy I had to get to the dining hall, and it was nearly dinner time when I walked in. I piled as much as I could onto my plate, just wanting to hurry up and sit down.
I rushed over to an empty table, but the faster I moved the more light headed I felt. I had passed out before, and it wasn't fun. I felt my vision start to go fuzzy around the edges right when I sat down, and thankfully I regained all my bearings before toppling over. I scarfed down whatever I could fit, not wanting to make myself nauseous on top of everything else. My phone started vibrating the second I put the fork down, and I looked to that Luke was calling me.
"Hello?" I answered quietly.
"Where are you?" He cut right to the point, making me furrow my eyebrows.
"The dining hall, why?" I sighed, this talking thing really not helping how horrible I felt.
"I'm on my way." That was all he said before the line went dead. Confused would be an understatement. But a few minutes later Luke came rushing in and sat right across from me. I just looked at him, waiting for the reason he ran over here so fast.
"I just wanted to make sure you weren't dead." He said, stealing a French fry off of my plate.
"Thank you...?" It came out as more of a question than a statement, but he didn't seem to notice.
"What time did you wake up?" He asked, stealing yet another fry from me. It wasn't like I was planning on eating the rest, it was just weird seeing him so cozy with me.
"A half hour ago." I picked up a fry for myself, the sight of him enjoying them making me want another.
"Doesn't surprise me." He chuckled. I still couldn't really remember everything, and he was making me feel like I was drunk off my ass and blacked out.
"I don't remember anything after you came in. Other than us laying on the floor." I told him, hoping he could fill in the blanks.
"Izz, you took like 8 of those pills. You couldn't even stand." The small smile that had been on his face from when I told him I just woke up was now completely gone. "I've never seen someone break down like that, when you were on the floor." It was already enough to process the fact that I could have easily killed myself last night, but Luke being nice to me again was fucking with me more.
"Well, thank you for helping. I'm gonna go if you want the rest of the fries." I said, standing up and slipping my phone in my pocket.
"Nah, I'll walk back with you." Luke went to stand with me, but I blurted out the first thing that came to mind without thinking.
"No!" I struggled to find anything more to say. "It's fine." I mentally facepalmed myself for only being able to come up with 'it's fine'.
"I'm going back to my room anyw-"
"Please, don't." I looked at him nervously and scurried away, leaving a very confused Luke standing next to the table.
This is exactly what happened after Casey, his guilty conscious got the best of him and now he was being nice out of pity. I'm not going through this painful cycle all over again. I walked back to my room as fast as I could, and Michael was at my door already waiting for me. I came up behind him and unlocked it.
"Hey. You haven't been here long, have you?" I asked, opening the door and letting him go in.
"No, I literally just got off the elevator." He chuckled. He threw the controller he brought on my bed and instantly went to set up the TV like he had last night. I walked over to the mini fridge and grabbed two waters, putting one on the floor next to where he was kneeling.
"Thanks." He mumbled, his concentration fully on plugging in wires.
"Yeah." I sat down on the bed and leaned against the wall, him joining me right when he finished.
We played Fortnite for a little over an hour, and we actually won a handful of games. We backed out to the lobby after winning the last one, just taking a break and changing our skins. He was trying to say that the Drift skin was better than Catalyst, but I argued on behalf of the ladder. Catalyst was by far my favorite.
"You don't even have matching back bling!" He laughed, pointing to the mismatched colors.
"I don't give a shit! She looks cooler." I laughed back, us just going back and forth like morons.
The door opening pulled us away from the obviously heated discussion, and we both snapped our heads up to see Luke standing in the door way. He was just staring blankly between the two of us, not even saying why he barged in here. I jumped out of the bed and walked up to him, gently nudging him back out the door.
"You can't just walk in like that. Just... just leave me alone, please." I said, finally getting him into the hall. He looked like I hurt his feelings, but I didn't really care. I closed the door and left him standing there, getting back to Michael so we could continue playing.
"What was that?" Mike asked, looking completely baffled.
"I think he's trying to be nice to me again." I huffed, pulling myself back on the bed and picking the controller up.
"Why?" Mike seemed pretty irritated, and I didn't blame him. "Is it because he went after you in the middle of the dining hall?"
"No, I just. I went talk to him after you left last night. I just wanted to know what else he told Callie and we argued and... I had a panic attack and he helped me." I rushed the words out since I didn't want to linger on the topic. "He's just pitying me the way he did after Casey."
"You could have called any of us, Izz. Are you good now? Were you even going to tell me?" Hurt replaced the irritation, and I felt bad for not bringing it up until I had to.
"I think I have PTSD, Mike. I can't tell you why, only Luke knows. That's why he came to help." I said, staring blankly at the TV in front of us.
"You can tell Luke, but you can't tell me?!" He was back to being irritated, and again, I didn't really blame him. I haven't told anyone about what happened, but maybe I should. If I let it sit with me for the rest of my life, I don't know how that'll end up.
"Luke was there when it happened, that's why! Or else I wouldn't have told him either." I covered my face with my hands, thinking about how horrible it's going to feel to finally talk about it.
"What do you mean he was there! What the hell happened?!" He moved my hands away from my face so he could look at me. "Izzy."
"Jaime was at the Christmas party and-"
"No, no, no. Izz, no." He pulled my face into his hands, and it broke my heart to see how scared he was.
"Luke stopped him before he could do anything." I rushed, not wanting him to think the worst.
"He had to step away to talk to Brett so I went upstairs to hide in the room, and Jaime was up there already and he just." I started sniffling, but as much I tried to hold back the waterworks, tears just started falling. "He pushed me into the door and I dropped the key, so he grabbed it and unlocked it. Luke came right when he was pushing me inside but he locked it behind him and threw me on the bed. Luke shot the lock out and all I can see is him pointing a gun at Jaime while he had a knife at my throat."
Mike just pulled me into his chest, not knowing what else to say. I sat there crying, thinking about the whole thing yet again. "I can feel his hands on me still." I sobbed into him as he rubbed the back of my head. I just wanted to feel normal again, and right now talking about it wasn't doing that for me. I could feel how tense Mike's body was, and he was trying his best to keep himself together as I broke down in his arms.
"I'm sorry, I'm fine." I finally said, wiping the tears and pulling away from him.
"No, you're not fine." He scoffed, jumping off of the bed and walking toward the door.
"Mike, where are you going?" I started panicking, and the tears started falling again. I shot up and ran after him.
"Stay here." He said, trying to slip out the door. I pulled him back, though, and shut the door before he could leave.
"Please don't tell him I told you. Please!" I cried, not wanting Luke to find out. "I just want to forget about it. Please just let me forget about it!" I sobbed into him again as I wrapped my arms around his torso, begging him to leave it alone.
"Okay, let's forget about it." He shushed my sobs, kissing the top of my head in an attempt to calm me down.
I got myself under control after a minute or two, not wanting to keep crying over it. I've cried way too much in the last two weeks, and I just wanted it to stop. When I pulled away from him, he just stood there looking at me with a sunken expression. I just wanted to get back to Fortnite and pretend that conversation never happened, so I picked up my controller and shot him an ever so small smile.
He reluctantly joined me, not really knowing what to make of all of this. We kept playing, though, and soon enough I did forget about it. I couldn't tell if I was now bipolar as shit, or if it was just the trauma brain. Mike didn't bring it up again, but he was acting like he was walking on eggshells the whole time. When he finally left, I put music on and tried to go to bed.
Now that that information was out there, I was just hoping he didn't do anything with it. I didn't want anyone else to know, even though I felt like there was a small weight lifted by telling at least one person. It was like I could finally let it go, and waking up in the morning I did feel better. I was just dreading class with Luke and Callie.
They had only met two days ago, but she was already leaving his room the first night. I didn't want to think about them like that, but I couldn't help but be bothered. Out of all people, he picks a bitch, who is also in our classes together. I wouldn't like her even if she had nothing to do with Luke, and now she knew parts about my life that I didn't want anyone to know about.
I got ready for our 8 am lecture, not really in the mood to put effort into my appearance. I slipped on some sweatpants and a tee, and I put my jacket on over it. I was just glad that we didn't have lab today, so I left my hair down in its natural waves and swung my bag over my shoulder. I got to the lecture hall almost 10 minutes early, so I sat alone in the back as I watched a few students come in every so often.
When I saw Callie walk in, I turned away and pulled my headphones out of my pocket. I couldn't even get them in before she was sitting right next to me. I ignored her, just continuing to put them in so I could drown out whatever sly comments she was about to make.
"I'm going over to Luke's tonight. I just wanted to give you a heads up in case we're loud." She said, looking forward to the front of the room. I didn't respond, I just pressed play on the most obnoxious metal song on my playlist and blared it loud enough for even her to hear. No matter how loud it was, though, it didn't fully drown out her words so I had to sit there and listen painfully.
"It's actually perfect that you're right next door. Now I don't have to brag about it, you'll already hear it all." I was trying to keep my head straight, not give in to her bullshit. It stung like hell, but I wasn't about to let her see that it bothered me. I saw Luke walk in and glare at us, and soon enough he was standing at the end of the row.
"Callie." He scolded her, nodding his head to get her to leave me. She practically ran to him, trying to pull him into a hug as he kept his eyes on me. When I looked away I saw them walk to their seats out of the corner of my eye.
Lecture started, and half way through the professor had us work on our own to do some equations he wrote on the board. There was light chatter throughout the room, but I sat alone and kept my head down, just getting the work done. The only reason I took a break was because Luke came and sat next to me. I turned to him, and beyond his shoulder I could see Callie fuming in her seat.
"What did she say to you?" He asked quietly, not wanting to make a scene.
"Nothing worth remembering." I said, brushing him off and going back to the problems in my notebook. "For the third one did you multiply the molecular mass first, or did you do the unit conversion for density?" I changed the topic, wondering why I was getting such a weird number for an answer.
"Do the density first, that way you can use that as the unit conversion and multiply molecular mass and then grams." He said, leaning a little over my seat and pointing to each piece of the equation in my notebook. I did that math out while he got up and walked back to his seat, but when I heard Callie bitching about what he was doing, I saw him coming back over to me.
"What did you get?" He asked, flipping a page in his notebook that he went to get.
"What did you get?" I said, tilting my notebook so he couldn't see the answer, just in case it was completely wrong. He showed me his notebook and I compared, and thankfully they were the same number. "Thank you." I mumbled, now just wanting to move on to the next problem by myself.
"Can you tell me what she said now?" He pressed again, now actually getting on my nerves.
"She just wanted to let me know that your room is going to be noisy tonight." I told him, not looking up from my notebook.
"Yeah, I'd play some loud music." His comment took me by surprise. He sounded like he was pissed about her talking to me, but he just backed her up.
I watched him walk back to Callie, her smiling at him and then looking to me with a smirk. I was sick to my stomach, but I let it go as best I could so I could finish this class. I raced out of the room before they could even pack their stuff up, and I sheltered in my room until my next class. Thankfully it was with Sophie, since I just really needed to vent to someone.