So I've considered doing a "songs for this chapter" type of thing. It won't be every chapter, but if I have a certain song/songs in mind while writing a chapter.
Songs for this chapter:
Night Changes- One Direction (music video because that was the inspiration behind this chapter)
Chasing Cars- Sleeping at last cover
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Harry
I will never get over the feeling of waking in his arms. For so long, I spent my time praying that I never had to wake up again because it felt like such a chore, and a part of me feels as though I don't deserve the privilege of waking up anymore. But opening my eyes and being met with his thin lips pressed into a soft line and feeling the warmth of his chest pressed to my cheek, gives me a reason to open my eyes in the early hours of the morning.
He mumbles occasionally in his sleep, but that's a secret I like to keep for myself as I smile and listen attentively to the meaningless words that fall from his pink lips while his eyes flutter once every few minutes.
He doesn't know this, but sometimes I like to trace his tattoos with the pad of my index finger. The fan in my room swirls cool air around the small space, causing chills to raise on his arms, but I like to pretend that the chills are from my fingers exploring his bare skin. I stripped his shirt from him last night due to him being so overheated.
And If I just lay here, tracing my finger over the 78 tattoo below his collarbone, basking in the glow of his tan skin as the morning sun shines through the lace curtains, delicate patterns creating a shadow over his body, well that's nobody's business except my own.
I didn't hear the soft knock coming from the other side of my door, but my mum appearing in the doorway tore me from my concentrated tattoo tracing.
"Harry?" She whispers, careful not to wake him "Could you come here for a minute?" I'd rather savor however much time I have left with a sleeping Louis. Last night was the most emotional night we've had in a while, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared of what might happen when he wakes up. Maybe if I hurry, I can get back to him before he wakes.
Reluctantly, I gently untangle myself from his warm embrace. I was trapped between him and the window, so I made sure to be careful not to wake him as I climb over him as he sleeps peacefully.
"Yes?" I ask after softly closing the door and following my mum into the living room.
"I'm running to the diner for about 2 hours. They need extra workers to cover the breakfast rush, so I won't be gone long" She explains as she ties her long black hair into a low bun
"Okay" I meant what I said when I told her that we have nothing to talk about. One day our relationship will be fully mended, but the damage is too great to be fixed by a few "I'm sorry's"
"Also, Gemma's driving up next Thursday, the 20th. She'll be here until new years day." I've completely forgotten that Gemma was coming. She'll probably be angry that I've failed to tell her about Louis, but how could I? We never talk about my personal life. I just hope that they get along.
"Okay," I dryly state once again. We can talk about all of this some other time, right now I have a sleeping boy that I want to cuddle with for a little while longer.
"Harry, I know that-"
"Please don't," I beg her. I know where this is going, and I don't want to deal with it right now. Whatever "I'm sorry" speech that she has planned will only upset me.
"Alright...I'll see you later" She looks at me longingly for a moment before opening the door and disappearing behind it. Seconds later, I hear the sound of the engine starting up and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
I hurriedly rush back into my bedroom, excited to climb back into bed next to him and play with his fringe for a little while longer. My excitement was short-lived as I open my bedroom door to see Louis standing in front of the window and stretching his arms above his head, his back muscles flexing in a way that makes my mouth water.
I don't speak, because what would I say? I don't know what his nightmare was about, but judging by his screams and cries, I'm afraid to know.
So instead of ruining this moment with words, I walk behind him slowly, my bare feet making a slight sticky sound against the hardwood. I snake my arms around his waist, interlocking my fingers with one another in front of him. I flutter my eyes shut and rest my head on his back, placing a soft kiss between his shoulder blades.
He sighs deeply, holding both of my hands in his and relishing in the moment.
"Goodmorning sunshine" He mumbles before turning around and kissing the top of my head.
"Morning Lou" I whisper against his warm chest, inhaling his scent as deeply as I could. We stand there for a moment, trapping each other in a warm embrace and savoring this for as long as we can.
"Where do we go from here?" I keep my head pressed to his chest and squeeze my eyes shut tightly, fearing that if I open them and look him in the eye, he won't like what he sees.
"Well, I have to go home and watch the girls for a few hours. You, on the other hand, have a date to get ready for." He mutters into my hair, rubbing his large hands over my back and pressing me closer to his warm body.
"Wait what?" I pull my head from his chest and look into his vividly blue eyes, and they were staring right back into mine. "You still want to go on the date with me?" I nervously ask, averting my gaze down to his chest and becoming intensely focused on his "It is what it is" tattoo.
"Why wouldn't I?" He asks as if what I'm saying is completely ridiculous, but who could blame me be for being unsure?
"I just...I don't know" I shake my head and look down at my bare feet that are noticeably smaller than his larger ones.
He takes my chin in between his thumb and forefinger and lifts it slightly, green meeting blue once more. "You do know, use your words" he urges on. I love it when he says that. He doesn't say it to be mean, but he knows that I'll just keep everything bottled up, and he knows that I'll always need that little extra push.
"I just thought that after last night...you would've changed your mind about us. I mean y-you saw a completely d-different side of me and I didn't think you liked what you saw. I guess I didn't think you'd want to s-stick around." I hate that I'm stuttering again, but I'm terrified right now. Everything he feels for me could come crashing down and there'd be nothing I could do.
"Harry-"
"If you're gonna leave me please just do it already" My voice wavers slightly, but I continue "I wouldn't blame you, okay? If what happened last night was too much for you and you want to go, then please do it. I can't handle watching you slowly slip away from me, Louis. If it's gonna happen, just do it fast" A few tears pool in my eyes, but I blink them away. I need to be strong, so if he does leave, he can do it with ease.
"Harry, listen to me." He cups my cheeks in his hands and holds them there, forcing me to look at him. "I'm not angry with you. I acted like a dick, but it was just a lot at once and I didn't know how to handle it. I'm not going to just leave you, I couldn't do that to you" He assures me, tucking a curl behind my ear and running his thumbs over my cheeks.
"Never?" I ask with uncertainty
"How could I leave my princess?" He runs his hands through my curls and places a delicate kiss to my lips, and I feel an outline of a smile as our lips tangle into one another.
"Now, use the day to relax and take care of yourself, and I'll be here at around 7 to pick you up okay?" I stare deeply into his eyes as he speaks, nodding slightly before he places another kiss to my lips.
He pulls away, and I instantly miss his warmth. He throws on his clothes and shoes while I stand by the window and watch in awe, wondering how I ever got so lucky. He grabs his car keys and shoots me a quick smile before leaving my bedroom and shutting the door behind him, the front door closing seconds later.
Tonight couldn't come fast enough.
---
I've spent the day organizing my room and tidying up what needs to be cleaned throughout the house. I organized Gemma's room, even though she's never been in it. She should have a proper place to sleep once she gets here.
Right now I'm settled onto the couch, watching some trashy reality show.
My phone buzzes on the cushion next to me, an unknown number flashing across the screen. My eyebrows furrow in confusion but nonetheless, I grab my phone and swipe over the answer button, bringing my phone to ear once the line connects.
"Hello?"
"Hey Harry, it's Zayn" A thick accent comes from the other line and I'm a little caught off guard.
"Oh, hi Zayn?" I state, though it comes out more like a question.
"I was wondering if you could come to the store with me? I know that sounds dumb as fuck, but I really didn't know who else to call. I could pick you up?" He rushes out in one breath.
"Why do you need me to come to the store with you?" Me and Zayn have said about 10 words to each other, I'm the last person he should be calling.
"Niall's coming over tonight and I don't have any food at my flat. You're his best friend so I figure you could help pick out some shit like he likes? I don't fucking know. Can you come or not?" He sounds impatient and it sort of bugs me.
"I can't come tonight I have a...thing to go to" I don't know if Lou wants people to know that we're going on a date, so I decide to keep it to myself.
"Well shit...alright. Could you send me a list of the food he likes or something?" He asks desperately.
"Sure Zayn, I could do that" I smile at the thought of Zayn and Ni spending the evening together. They've made quite a bit of progress these last few weeks, and I couldn't be happier for Ni. He deserves this.
"Appreciate it, Harry. I owe you one" We say a quick goodbye and end the call. I spend the next few minutes thinking about some of Niall's favorite foods and I even threw in some of his favorite movies just to help Zayn out. I add Zayn's number in my phone after I send him the list, just in case I need it one day.
I check the clock, the time reading 5:45. Might as well start getting ready.
I draw myself a bath, adding in my favorite bubble-bath liquid that smells of green apples and caramel. Once the tub is filled to my liking, I climb in, my body relaxing the moment I settle into the water.
I look at the shower wall, and the only thought coming to mind is how I wish Louis were here. We could take a warm bath together, playing with the bubbles and running our hands over each other's wet skin, giggling like schoolboys the entire time as he pulls me into his lap and kisses me all over, making me feel beautiful. Afterward, he would touch me in the way only he knows how, making me feel good in the way only he is capable of.
My hand travels down in between my thighs, rubbing myself gently as I imagine Louis' strong hands touching my skin. His fingers would explore me in the most delicate and sacred places and I'd come undone under his touch. My eyes flutter shut as I bite down on my bottom lip. His name falls from my lips in a breathy moan, but it doesn't feel the way I think it should feel. I need him.
Feeling frustrated with myself, I give up and just decide to spend the next half hour bathing myself and making myself feel as beautiful as I possibly can.
-
Louis would be here in 5 minutes, and the nerves are getting the better of me. I decided on a pair of black jeans and a black sweater, pulling a long coat over my arms and adding a little scarf over the whole ensemble, my duct-tape wrapped shoes on my feet as usual. It's definitely out of my comfort zone and it's something I typically wouldn't wear, but I want to be beautiful for him.
Plus it's cold as shit.
My mum appears in my doorway, stopping in her tracks once her eyes land on me.
"Before you ask, I'm going out," I say through a sigh.
"I know, Jay came to the diner this morning and told me about your date" She closes the door behind her and walks up to me, adjusting the scarf on my neck. "I just wanted to wish you luck and see you before you left," She says softly as she runs her fingers through my fringe and makes any other minor adjustments to my appearance.
"I just want you to know that-"
"Mum..please don't. Not tonight, okay?" She places a finger over my lips and inhales deeply before speaking.
"I just wanted to say that I'm here whenever you're ready to talk things out. Whether it be 3 hours from now or 3 years from now, It's completely up to you. I wasn't being the mother you deserved, and that's my fault. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but talking things through could be a step in the right direction." I don't say anything, because I'm at an utter loss for words. Instead, I nod hesitantly and allow her to wrap me in a warm embrace.
I'm not ready to hug back yet, but maybe someday I will be.
A knock on the door startles us both and I feel as though I'm going to be sick. "It's showtime," She says in a sing-song voice, rushing out of my bedroom and running toward the front door.
My legs feel like jelly underneath me, and my stomach is doing somersaults. We've spent nearly every day together for the past few weeks, but this is new territory. This isn't us hanging out and kissing every 10 seconds, this is a date. My real first date.
I close my eyes and sigh heavily, shaking out my fringe and adjusting my scarf before whispering to myself "Go see your prince."
I walk into the living room, and my nerves ease the second my eyes land on him. He never ceases to amaze me with how perfect he always looks, but the way he looks tonight just takes the cake.
A dashing blue suit hangs perfectly on his body, and a long beige trench-coat accents the whole thing. He's wearing those leather shoes that I always see suave businessmen wearing, and his chestnut brown fringe that is normally laid messily across his forehead is swept up and styled into a quiff. My chest warms at the sight of this awe-inspiring man. He looks like something straight out of a fairytale.
He exudes confidence as he stands in the middle of the living room, a singular sunflower is clutched tightly in his large hands.
"Good evening, Mr. Styles. Are you ready for a night you won't forget?" He says charmingly, walking up to me and extending the sunflower out for me to take.
"Why yes I am, Mr. Tomlinson," I say as a big goofy grin creeps its way onto my lips. "What's this?" I take the sunflower in my hands and hold it close to my chest, admiring the petals.
"A flower for my flower" He whispers so softly, as if it's a secret. My heart flutters as he looks me up and down. When he used to look at me this way, I always thought he was judging me. I now know that he's truly just admiring me.
No one's ever admired me before.
His hands placed themselves on my waist as he takes in my appearance "You look lovely, princess." He takes my smaller hand into his large one and places a soft kiss on my knuckles, never breaking eye-contact. I don't need a mirror to know that my cheeks are the brightest shade of red imaginable.
"Wait wait wait, before you go let me take a picture!" My mum exclaims, grabbing her disposable camera from a drawer.
I look to him to see what pose he wants, but he stands behind me and securely holds me by my waist, burying his face into my neck and as I'm bursting out into giggles, my mum snaps the picture.
"Okay boys, please have fun" She smiles sweetly and places a hand over her chest, leading us to the front door and closing it behind us.
"Where are we going?" I ask him as he takes my hand into his and leads me to the passenger side of his car "If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise" He opens the car door for me, and I smile brightly as he puts my seatbelt on for me and kisses my cheek right before closing the door.
"Did you clean your car?" I look around to see that the floors are no longer covered in clothes and cigarette boxes. He chuckles softly and clears his throat "Maybe" he teases, pulling out of the driveway and driving down the dark street.
"You know, for someone who didn't know what a date was a week ago, this isn't too bad" I tease. He leans back comfortably in his seat, one hand gripping the wheel and the other gripping my clammy hand. He's so calm and collected, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't doing something to me. "Yeah? You think I clean up nicely?" His tongue darts out to wet his thin lips, but his eyes never leave the road.
"Very nicely" I relax into my seat, playing with the stem of the flower and watching the snow-covered buildings pass in the windows. All uncertainty I had goes out the window, and I couldn't be happier.
---
"What is this place?" The car park is filled with cars, but I can't tell where we are. We're in the city now, the Christmas lights lighting up the night and the buildings around us.
"I hope you aren't clumsy, Curly" He smiles knowingly and unbuckled my seat-belt for me, taking the flower from my hand and laying it on the dashboard.
"Clumsy? Have you met me?" I fall at least twice a day, if this date requires me to stay upright the whole time, it's going to crash and burn.
"Ah, you'll be fine" He climbs out of the car and is at my side in seconds, opening the door and taking ahold of my hand, leading me out of the car.
We walk up a small snow-covered hill, and the sight on the other side leaves me in awe. At least a hundred people are all gliding gracefully across a floor of ice, loud Christmas music playing in the background. The buildings surrounding the rink are lined with colorful Christmas lights, illuminating the fallen snowflakes decorating the ground.
"Ice-skating? Louis, I don't think-"
"Have you ever tried it?" I shake my head "Then how do you know if you'll like it or not?" I hate to admit it, but he has a point.
"Fine, but if I die, you're to blame" He places his hand on the small of my black and lays a kiss on the top of my head "Such a drama-queen"
We walk into a building on the side of the ice, and judging by the counter with hundreds of ice-skates on racks behind it, this is where you get your skates.
"One pair, size 9 please" Louis hands the guy the money and the guy disappears into the back, returning moments later with the skates in hand.
"Sit" He orders, pointing to a bench, and I quickly oblige. He gets down on a knee in front of me, grabbing my small foot in his hand and untying my frayed laces.
"One pair? Do you have your own or something?" I ask as he slides a shoe off of my foot and replaces it with the white skate, tightening and tying the laces "Nope" He replies, popping the p.
"So what are you going to skate in?" I tilt my head to the side in confusion as he slides the other skate onto my left foot. "Who said I was skating?" He says matter-of-factly as he finishes the laces and puts my shoes in a locker nearby.
"What? Louis no I'm not skating by myself" I try to stand up and fight him on it, but I nearly fall from the thin blades on my feet, Louis'arms catching me before I collapse.
"Well somebody's gotta be able to catch you when you fall, and I can't do that if I'm falling on my ass every ten seconds, can I?" I want to be annoyed at how sure of himself he is, but how can I? Every movement, every word, every mannerism has him dripping with confidence and I could never stand up to that.
"You're such an ass" I whisper out, grabbing his hands tightly and steadying myself.
"And you have a great one, let's go" My eyes widen at his dirty comment, but he doesn't give me time to think of a comeback because he's already leading me out the building and out to the ice.
"Louis, I don't think I can do this alone" I confess, my voice shaking slightly with fear.
"You aren't" He intertwines our fingers and steps onto the ice with his dress shoes, leading me onto the ice.
"You're gonna walk on the ice?" I ask, concentrating on not falling as he walks slowly next to me. I move my feet in the way that I've seen in movies, and it must be working because I haven't fallen on my ass yet.
"Looks like it" He replies cooly, looking around at the 100+ plus people skating around us. Most people are clearly experienced and are taking up an obnoxiously large part of the ice, but we don't care. We take our precious time.
"How do you know about this place?" It feels like I'm starting to get the hang of it. I don't need Louis holding my hand, I'm basically a pro at this point.
"Parents took me here for my birthday a few years ago. I was a little boy and I remember telling my mum that I was going to bring my future wife here. We see how that turned out" He waves his hands between us and I laugh loudly as he continues to guide me across the ice, and even though he's only walking, something about it looks so graceful.
I wriggle my hand from his grasp, causing him to look at me. "What are you doing, crazy boy?" He smirks slyly as I hold my arms out in front of me and bend my knees, trying not to fall. "I don't need you to hold me, I got this"
"Oh yeah?" He begins to walk backward, not even caring about who he may bump into "Lou what are you-" I try to skate towards him, but I nearly slip.
"Since you're such a pro, skate to me" He's only standing 5 feet away, but it feels like an entire ocean is between us.
"You don't think I can do it?" I challenge him, giggling like crazy as I wave my arms every few seconds to prevent from falling.
"I never said that. Come on bigshot, since you're such a pro, come skate to me" He holds his arms out, taunting me. And of course, I'm not going to let him win.
"Fine" My knees wobble like jelly as I slowly move one foot in one of the other. Louis is practically howling with laughter as I fall forward and place my hands on the ice to prevent myself from falling completely, my bum perched in the air.
"You look like a baby deer! Oh wait, Bambi! That's why your name fits so well" One hand is on his knee and the other is holding his stomach in laughter
"Lou! Help!" I've been trying for 1 minute now, and I've barely moved.
"No can do, you don't need me anymore, remember?" He stands in the middle of the ice, mocking me and laughing harder than ever before.
I've decided that enough is enough and move my legs as quickly as possible in attempt to get to him. My plan failed as one leg goes out from underneath me and I fall directly on my bum.
Louis laughs louder than ever and walks over to me, grabbing a hold of my hands and pulling me to my feet. "It's okay Bambi, you tried your best" He jokes, holding my hips tightly.
"Shut up" I bitterly state, swatting at his chest. I look to my left and see a couple doing crazy turns and jumps on the ice, and an idea pops in my head.
"Lou, we should do that!" I point to the spinning couple and he looks at me as if I've grown two heads.
"You can barely walk! Let's just stick to skating, yeah?" He kisses my cold forehead gently and I stick my bottom lip out in a pout, a few snowflakes falling onto my bottom lip.
"Lou, look! Snowflakes!" I stick my tongue out and catch a few flakes on my tongue, small giggles erupting from my mouth.
"Your cheeks and nose are so red" He kisses the tip of my nose softly and pulls a few snowflakes from my hair. "I don't think my cheeks are red because of the cold" I giggle, wrapping my arms around him and placing my cold ear to his chest.
"Holy shit...you hear this song?" I lift my head from his chest and listen attentively to the music coming from the speakers. It's hard to hear over all the loud laughing and talking, but I smile bashfully once I hear the lyrics.
"Dance with me," He says softly, leading me to the middle of the ice. "Louis, there are people" I try to pull my hand from his grasp, but I nearly fall in the process.
"Who cares? Let them watch" We stop in the middle of the ice, and I nearly crash into him from the abrupt stop. His hands secure themselves on my waist and I lay my head against his chest once more. Louis lays his cheek against the top of my head and we sway slightly as the music takes us away.
"If I lay here...If I just lay here...Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?" He hums along softly, and I can feel the vibration as my ear lays against his chest. My cheek can feel the rapid rhythm of his heartbeat, and all I can do is close my eyes and relish in this moment.
"All that I am...and all that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes that are all that I can see" One of his hands leave my waist and he places it on my chin, lifting softly so our eyes meet. Snowflakes decorate his eyelashes and his lips remind me of cherry wine.
"I don't know when, confused about how as well, just know that these things will never change for us at all" He sings so softly that I stop breathing just to make sure I can hear it.
"And if I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?" His cold fingers set my skin on fire as his thumb traces the outline of my bottom lip. As we inch closer and closer, the cold air between us gets thinner. He tastes of cherries and champagne, and as our lips find our familiar rhythm and the snow falls carefully upon our heads, I realize one thing.
There is no doubt in my mind that everything I'm meant to be and everything I once was lies within him. He's breathed life into me. He's touched me so deeply without his hands having touched my skin. He's spoken to me without words ever falling from his lips. And if I could live in this moment between us, reveling in his warm arms and sweet taste, I'd gladly forget the world.
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A/N
Happy Saturday babes
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I LOVE IT
As usual, let me know what you think
Next chapter will be pt 2 of the date...and a little special something hehe
Please vote
I love you pumpkin- A