Bringin the gif on the side back because I just love it so much!!! <3
Enjoy
Tyler's P.O.V:
I turned and began to walk away, a few tears absentmindedly filling my eyes. "Tyler, hold up. Please, don't go," Kody's voice rang out from behind me. He reached out, his fingers barely grazing my shoulder before he yanked his hand away quickly. I paused facing away from him, frozen in my tracks. "Please, just - just stay for a minute."
"Why in the hell should I?" I snapped as I turned around, thankful that my sunglasses were hiding the glossy tears lingering on my eyelashes.
"Please. I need to talk to you, I need to apologize. Just have a cup of coffee with me; that's it, no more. 15 minutes, that's all I need. Please." He was practically begging with me. I don't know why, I don't know what is was, but I felt like I couldn't leave. I hadn't quite moved on from what happened, and truth is I wanted an explaination. I nodded my head in agreement and walked with him into the nearly deserted coffee house, the scent of cinnamon hitting me as I stepped through the door.
I took a seat at a table near a window, staring out the cloudy sky as Kody walked back over with our coffee. He handed me mine and I took it without a word, drinking slowly from it as I continued to gaze outside. "Tyler. First off, I need to say I'm sorry. I know that doesn't mean anything, that that doesn't make up for what I did to you, but I need to say it. Because it's true. What I did - I have hated myself everyday for the last few months just thinking about it. I don't know what came over me; that isn't me. You didn't deserve to be treated the way that I treated you. I just -" I heard his voice crack a little and I looked over to meet his eyes. I was met with an expression that I had never once seen on his face, not even when things were good between us. It was sincerity.
"I want to forgive you, Kody. I do. It's not easy, though."
"I know. I'm not asking for your forgiveness, Ty. I don't deserve it, I never will, but I wanted you to know how sorry I am, and how much that day has changed my life. I got help after that. I started volunteering at the battered women shelter downtown. I didn't do it to make myself feel better, I did it to open my eyes and make me realize the damage I had caused you. I've changed, I have, and as horrible as it sounds I have you to thank for that because I"ve changed for the better." I listened intently as the words sunk in.
"I've changed for the better as well, and I have you to thank for that, too. I finally realized that I deserved better, and I figured out how to be strong," I replied, giving him a sly smile.
We fell into easy conversation as we drank our coffees; I could tell he had changed, and I was glad that he finally decided to grow up. He told me about his new girlfriend, who, thanks to me, he treats with the upmost respect. I smiled at that as I listened to him talk about her. It didn't make me sad or angry like I had orginally thought it would. I felt something else, something that I had wanted to feel for so long: closure. Despite what Kody had done I felt as if I could forgive him, and I could finally move on with my life. Before this conversation I hadn't realized how much I had been holding back because things with him were left unresolved.
He asked me about school, and for some reason the words just came pouring out. I told him of my dilema, my acceptance to MSM, and my fear of telling Austin. Kody and I had been friends once upon a time, and seeing how much he had changed, how much he reminded me of the Kody I knew a long time ago, I felt like I could talk to him, and he would give me his honest opinion.
"This Austin guy, he loves you right?" He questioned and I nodded my head with a smile. "Then he should be happy for you. If he really loves you as much as he says he does the distance won't matter. Getting into a school as prestigious as that, with a full scholarship none the less, is no easy accomplishment, Ty. He'll see that and he'll be excited for you. Hell, I'm excited for you." I flashed him a smile. "Listen, don't be afraid to tell him. You guys love each other; you'll figure out a way to make it work as long as both of you are willing. And by the way it sounds he encouraged you to follow your dream, so I don't see why he would have a problem with it."
I sighed in relief, almost. Even though I hadn't talked to Austin yet, I already felt a million times better about doing so. Kody was right: if Austin loved me he would be happy for me. We would find a way to make the distance work. Just because I was leaving California didn't mean I was leaving Austin. I had no intentions of doing so; I loved him, and it wouldn't be easy, but I wanted this - I was going to do this.
Kody and I finished our coffee and walked out of the small cafe. "Are you sure you don't want a ride home?" He questioned and I shook my head. Before I realized what I was doing I closed the small gap between us and hugged him. It wasn't an 'I miss you' hug, it wasn't an 'I need you' hug; it was a goodbye hug.
"Thanks Kody. I forgive you by the way. I wish I wouldn't have had to go through all of that, but I can't regret it because it led me to Austin, and it led you to finding yourself and fixing yourself." He smiled down at me and I pulled away from him. "Bye Kody," I said, flashing him a smile.
"Goodbye Tyler. You're gonna do big things one day. I've always known that," he said with a wink, and I laughed. We walked off in opposite directions, and I smiled up at the sky as I made my way back towards my apartment. That was the last time I ever saw Kody; I didn't need to see him again. I got the closure I so desperately needed and wanted, and I was ready to move on to the next chapter of my life, a chapter that would include New York City, music, and Austin.
Hopefully.
-------------------
I pulled up in front of Austin's house, lingering in my car mometarily to steady my breathing and calm my nerves. I was trying to think positively. I had no reason to believe that he wouldn't be happy for me; we loved each other, and when you love someone you support them, right? I have always supported him and the band, supported the fact that he's only going to be home maybe 4 months out of the year.
It was now or never.
I climbed out of my car and walked towards the front door, strolling into the house without bothering to knock. "In here, babe!" Austin shouted from his bedroom at the top of the stairs. I tooked a breath and climbed the carpeted steps slowly, counting each step on the way up as a method to keep myself calm. I leaned against the door frame as I eyed him; he was seated on the edge of his bed, strumming at his acoustic guitar. He looked over and smiled at me, setting the guitar down and resting it against the wall. "Hey there pretty girl." I smiled and walked over to him, leaning down and planting a kiss on his soft lips. He pried my lips apart with his tongue and deepened the kiss. I kissed him back for a moment before pushing him away.
"Can I talk to you about something?" I asked and he looked at me.
"Of course, Ty. Is everything okay?" I sat next to him on the bed, crossing my legs underneath me, and pulled the letter out of my purse, handing it to him. He furrowed his eyebrows at me and unfolded the paper, beginning to read it. I watched his face intently, looking for any reaction, trying to decipher the emotions going through him as he read. He smiled almost immediately. "Baby this is incredible-" I cut him off.
"Keep reading." He did as asked, directing his attention back to the paper. Just as I feared his smile faded, being replaced with confusion.
He looked up at me. "Manhattan. As in New York City?" He questioned, his voice strained. I nodded and he seemed to tense a bit. "Well are you going to go?" The question was harsh, laced with an undertone of anger, and it caught me off guard.
"I'm thinking about it that's why -" He tossed the paper aside and stood from the bed.
"No." He stated as he stood in front of me.
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and looked up into his eyes which had seemed to darken. "No? What do you mean no?"
"I don't like it. I don't think it's a good idea," he stated, crossing his arms over his chest.
"What? You didn't even read the rest of the letter, Austin!"
"I don't need to. I don't like it." I scoffed at his words.
"I got in to one of the most prestigious performing arts schools in the country, Austin. If you would have continued reading you also would've found out that I was offered a full scholarship! Do you have any idea what that means for my future?" I tried to keep my voice calm, hoping to avoid an arguement, hoping I would be able to reason with him. He remained silent as he glared down at me, his face slowly becoming etched with anger. "What happened to being happy for me?"
"That was before I found out that you were going to be moving across the country!" His voice raised a little, taking me aback.
"What does it matter?" I raised my voice in response. I didn't understand why he was acting like this all of a sudden.
"Because I don't want you to leave!" He was practically yelling now, and I didn't like it. I didn't deserve it.
"This is an incredible opportunity I have been given!" I stood up from the bed and he moved across the room away from me.
"Aren't there opportunites for you here? I'm sure one of the other schools in California will be just as good."He snapped, rolling his eyes at me.
"Austin, this could be huge for me! Why are you being like this all of sudden? If I remember correctly you're the one who pushed me to apply to school again. You're the one who told me to follow my dreams and never give up!" I tried to hide the hurt and disappointment in my tone with anger, the intensity of my voice echoing his. I noticed him clench his fists and I sighed, lowering my voice a little. "This is my dream. I let you follow yours, babe. I support you with everything. All I'm asking is for the same thing in return."
"Why didn't you talk to me about this first?" He barked out, completely ignorning my previous statment. I threw my hands in the air out of disbelief.
"What?! I'm an adult, Austin. I wasn't aware that I needed your permission to apply to a school. When I applied to MSM I did it for fun; I didn't actually think I would get in so I didn't say anything to anyone about it. Can you really blame me from not saying something to you, though? I mean look at how your acting!" I knew those were the wrong words to say, but it was true, and I was so angry and hurt I was way past holding back.
He narrowed his eyes at me and scoffed. "I just don't understand why you want to leave so bad or why you did this behind my back!"
"Seriously? I didn't do anything behind your back! I haven't even accepted the offer yet! That's why I'm talking to about this right now! I wanted you to know about it before I did anything! I wanted you to tell me that you were happy for me, that you were proud of me!" My voice cracked, but I held the tears at bay.
"It seems to me you already made up your mind before you got here." His voice was way past angry; he was livid, seething with rage, and I couldn't understand why he was being so hateful. He had never treated me this way ever.
"Austin, this is a good school. No, it's a great school. I hate that it has to be in New York, but- I'm being handed such a rare opportunity. This is what I want, this is what I've been waiting for! For someone to tell me that I'm talented, that I'm special and unique and different, that I have something that they have been searching for!"
"I don't see why you can't find a school here," he retorted.
"Why, so I can still be here for the rare occasions that you're actually going to be home over the next year?" I snapped at him for the first time during the conversation. Well, it was way past a conversation at this point. We were arguing.....having our first full-fledged fight. "What, do you just expect me to sit around and do nothing while I wait for you to come home?"
"That's not even what I said!! Stop twisting my fucking words around!" He was shouting at me now, his voice echoing loudly through the room.
"Are you sure? Because that's exactly how it sounds! Do you really think I want to leave you? That I want to live on the other side of the country and not be near you? Cause I don't, Austin! But I have to think about myself, about my future and what this could mean for me! I can't just wait around and see if something else comes along! I haven't even heard from any other school! Am I supposed to forget about this and hope that someone else accepts me? Why can't you be happy for me?"
I felt like this was all a dream, like this couldn't be real. I was nervous about telling him, but I couldn't have imagined he would act like this. I had honestly thought he would support me.......
"God Damnit!!!! Because I don't want you to go!" His voice was so loud, so angry it gave me goosebumps.
"If I decide to go it doesn't change things with us, Austin! I love you, that isn't going to change no matter where I live or how far away I am from you! But I need you to be supportive of me. I need you to understand this." I lowered my voice; I was practically pleading with him to think about this.
"I don't understand, that's the thing. I'm not going to pretend to be okay with this when I'm not. I don't want you to leave, and I don't think you should. Why can't you stay here? Another school will come along." Surprisingly he relaxed a little, unclenching his fists and letting out the breath he had seemed to be holding. "I don't want you to go. I'm afraid of losing you." I tried to speak but he cut me off. "I'll do anything to make you stay. I have connections in the business, Tyler, I can get your songs to record lables. I'll do anything........Jeez, I'd even fucking marry you if it would make you stay."
I choked on my own spit as I sucked in a sharp breath. That was it, I couldn't hold it any longer; the tears came falling out of my eyes rapidly, my sobs echoing around the room as I stared at him through my glassy eyes in disbelief. He walked towards me, his arms outstretched, but I backed away from him. "Stop," I muttered.
"Tyler, please-" I put my hand up to stop his words.
"I came here today, more nervous than I had ever been in my life. I was trying to figure out how to tell you this, trying to figure out how to show you how much this means to me. I had actually thought you would be civil about this. I hadn't expected you to be thrilled at the prospect of me leaving, but I had hoped you would still be happy for me. I never thought for one second that you would try to bribe me to keep me from leaving. The worst part is, I would've said yes to marrying you in a heartbeat if you wouldn't have thrown it out as a bribe." My voice cracked and I stopped talking as I wrapped my arms around myself, looking down at the ground.
I swallowed hard and forced the tears to stop momentarilly so I could make my next point very clear. I looked up at him, his eyes glossy with tears. "I'm done, Austin."
"Done with what?" He croaked out, though I'm pretty sure he knew what I meant.
"With this.......with us, I'm done." He cut me off before I could continue.
"Tyler, please don't do this. I love you, I'm sorry, I just....." I shook my head and he stopped talking.
"I love you, Austin, but I'm not going to live like this. You've made your thoughts very clear about this, and I - I can't. I went through this with Kody, and I promised myself I wouldn't live like that anymore. I can't; I won't. If you can't support me then I can't be in this relationship anymore." In that moment my heart shattered into a million pieces; I practically felt it ripping apart in my chest as I watched the tears pour from Austin's eyes.
I walked slowly out of the room towards the stairs. I could faintly hear Austin hollering my name from behind me but I didn't stop. I made it to the front door and took off in a dead sprint out the door and towards my car, getting in and driving away from Austin's house as my breathing became erratic. I didn't make it far before I couldn't breathe. I pulled over to the side of the road and I broke down, crying harder than I ever had in my life. I curled up in a ball in my seat, my loud sobs the only sound present in the car.
I was physically hurting, and all I wanted was to turn the car around and drive back to him, to hug him and have him hold me and tell me he didn't mean it, that he loved me and he needed me. I sure as hell needed him.
But I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't let myself no matter how much I had wanted to. I left for a reason, for a big reason. I had meant what I said: if he couldn't support my decision to leave California, to move across the country and go to a school that would put me one step closer to my dream, then I couldn't be with him. I wasn't going to let myself be treated that way again.
Hours passed, the tears had long since dried up, but I couldn't move. I stayed in my car on the side of the road, my body shaking as I cried invisible tears.
I had lost him. The love of my life, he was gone.
For the first time in a long time I felt truly and utterly alone, and I didn't like it one bit.
---------------------
Please don't hate me!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm Sorry!!!!!!
:/
I'll update again soon!