Nevaeh December 14, 2016
I took a long pull from the blunt Kai had rolled me. The smoke invaded my lungs, quieting the noise in my mind. Normally, I wouldn't be smoking with Kai. I only really bothered on special occasions. But, shit I needed this. Lying on the bed, sinking into the pillows with my senses dulled, I could almost forget.
"Vaeh," Kai called, pulling me out of my pleasant daze.
"Hm?" I grunted, not even bothering to look up at him.
"Your phone."
I turned my head slightly in his direction, my ears slowly registering the familiar sound of my ringtone. It took another second for my eyes to find my phone. It was sitting on the desk between me and Kai, who was leaned back in his chair, blowing circles into the air.
I couldn't see my phone screen, but I had a good idea who was calling. I took another pull and ignored it, turning back to the ceiling. Hopefully, if I ignored her phone calls too, she'd get the point.
"Nevaeh," Kai called again.
"Ignore it," I mumbled, more to myself than him.
"Just answer. The person keeps calling. It's annoying. Why–" He paused. "Wait. Is it Sarayah?"
I stayed silent, staring up at the ceiling.
"It is, isn't it?"
I heard Kai start to move. I immediately sat up and tossed the blunt in the ashtray, knowing exactly what shit he was about to pull. As soon as his fingers enclosed around my phone, I was on him.
"Ay yo. What the fuck!" He yelled, trying to pull his hand out of my grasp. "The fuck is wrong with you, man? Let go!"
"The fuck is wrong with you?" I snapped back. "This ain't your damn phone, Mekhi!"
"So, who cares? You weren't answering it anyway!"
"Yeah," I agreed, finally yanking the phone out of his hand. "And that was on purpose, nigga."
I walked back over to the bed, sprawling out again.
He kissed his teeth. "You're acting like a bitch."
I laughed humorously. "Funny. I was about to say the same thing about you."
"I think it's funny how you have so much to say to me, but nothing to say to the girl you–"
"You know what, Kai," I said loudly, interrupting him. "I'm finding it really hard to see how this is any of your business."
"Yeah? Okay, I'll tell you. You know I don't like to get involved in you and Ray's thing–"
I shot a look at him. "Doesn't seem like it."
"But this shit right here?" He continued, unfazed. "What you're doing? It involves me. Sarayah might be your wannabe girlfriend or whatever, but she's my friend. And the way you're treating her is fucked up."
"I'm not treating her any kinda way," I joked, forcing out a laugh.
"You think this is funny?" Kai asked, getting in my face. "You know Sarayah called me crying the other day, asking me what she did wrong?"
I pulled from the blunt again, trying to block him out.
"You fly out to New York to see her, have a great weekend and then just drop her. For no apparent reason."
I sighed. "I have my reasons–"
"And what are they? I wanna know because she's come up with her own, and none of them are good."
"It's for the best," I stated, closing my eyes.
"You're saying that, but you don't even know where her mind is going. She thinks you're disgusted by her. That you think she's perverted because of her little crush on you."
My eyes snapped open, and I turned towards him. "What?"
He nodded. "Yeah, how fucked up is that?"
I shook my head, sitting up. "No. No. What did you just say?"
He blinked at me, watching me curiously. "She thinks you're disgusted by her."
I waved my hand. "No, after that."
He furrowed his eyebrows, speaking extra slow. "She thinks that you think she's perverted because she's crushing on you."
"Crushing on me," I repeated incredulously.
He blinked a few times, before rolling his eyes. "Is that all you heard? All the shit I said, and that's what you pick out?"
"Did she say she was crushing on me, or are you just assuming?" I plowed on, ignoring him.
He rolled his eyes again. "I'm not assuming anything! She has a crush on you! Everybody and they mama know that. Why you think I was trying to get you to tell her how you feel? You're so fucking stupid."
I shut my eyes, trying to gather patience. "Kai. What were her exact words?"
"I don't think you deserve to know that."
I opened my eyes. He was staring defiantly at me, his arms folded across his bird chest. I clenched my fist.
"Kai," I warned.
"Nah, fuck that. You couldn't even text her a smiley face, but you wanna know how she feels about you? Fuck all the way off."
I sighed. "Kai–"
"No! If you really wanna know, come to New Orleans. Quit hiding behind bullshit excuses, woman up, and talk to her. How about that?"
I shook my head. "I can't. I waited too long. Aren't you leaving in like two days?"
He shrugged. "Yeah, and? You think last minute arrangements are a problem for billionaires? Knowing Sarayah, she's already booked your flight. Just come. It would make her so happy."
I licked my lips, sitting back. "I'll think about it."
...
December 17th, 2016
I lugged my suitcase to the front door. I looked around the apartment, mentally going through my list. I knew I had everything, but I couldn't get rid of that nagging feeling like I was forgetting something. I sighed, realizing I should probably leave a note just in case she came home.
I grabbed the pen and notepad off the counter and scrawled a quick message.
Mom, I'm in New Orleans. I didn't take any money. I'll probably be back for Christmas.
I walked over to the fridge, replacing the one I'd put up last time. My eyes swept over the small apartment one last time before I left. I locked the door and headed downstairs. The chauffeur was waiting in the lobby, ready to take my stuff. I gladly let him, sliding into the backseat with Kai.
He smiled smugly at me, his eyes scanning my face.
"What?" I snapped.
He shrugged. "You like nice."
Okay so, I'd tamed my curls a little. No big deal. I'd done a deep condition, so yeah, they looked extra good. And maybe I'd put on some lip gloss and a bit of eyeliner. So what?
I blushed, looking out the window. "Shut up."
He cackled, completely unbothered by my aggression. I folded my arms across my chest, wondering what I'd gotten myself into.
The trip to New Orleans was smooth, not that I'd expected anything other than perfection from a trip set up by billionaires. But still. Part of me was hoping for a delay or something. I wasn't prepared for how quickly everything was moving. Before long, Kai and I were walking out of Arrivals, our eyes searching the sea of faces for our chauffeur. Ray's description of the guy was annoyingly vague.
"What did she say again?" I asked Kai, still searching the faces.
"Uh, just a second," he mumbled, looking down at his phone. "She said, 'the chauffeur is wearing a really cool suit paired with a pimp cane'," he recited, making a face. He looked over at me. "Has she always been this bad with descriptions?"
I chuckled. "Just look for the cane. There shouldn't be too many people with 'pimp' canes."
"I don't know why a chauffeur would have a damn pimp cane anyway," Kai mumbled. "Why couldn't he just bring a fucking sign with our names on it?"
After a few seconds I spotted a cane. "Oh, I think I found them."
I pointed at a figure holding the cane. They were dressed in a ridiculously expensive looking maroon three-piece suit, with an immaculate cane. They had on a matching fedora, tipped low to cover their face.
I narrowed my eyes. "Wait."
Kai burst out laughing. "Oh my fucking–SARAYAH! I know damn well–SARAYAH STOP FUCKING AROUND!"
He ran towards her, his suitcase in tow.
"Sarayah Knowles, at your service," she greeted him formally, taking off her hat and bowing with a flourish.
"I can't believe this," Kai said looking her up and down. "All this? For what? I mean, I'm in sweats, and you show up looking like you're about to walk the red carpet."
Ray looked up at him, her wide grin displaying her dimples. Her baby hair was laid in mesmerizing curls leading back to a slick braided ponytail that fell between her shoulder blades. I couldn't remember the last time she'd bothered with her hair. I barely recognized her.
Ray laughed, her whole face lighting up with joy. "I had to!" She said between laughs. "I'm in New Orleans!"
"Bitch, the fuck that even mean? You didn't have to do shit!" He argued, still laughing. "You wanted to do this." He spun her around, examining the form fitting suit. She flicked her braid over her shoulder and put her hat back on, posing with her cane.
I watched in awe, slowly walking towards them. That suit was really something. Melded perfectly to every curve of her body. How she'd managed to get it on, I didn't know. But I was grateful.
Ray spread her arms wide, her eyes still focused solely on Kai. "Do you like it though? I've always wanted a suit. Like Janelle Monáe, but with my own flare. It's cool, right?"
Kai nodded, pulling her in for a hug. "Really cool."
Ray hugged him tightly, her eyes closed as she sunk into him. "Thanks for coming."
"It's your birthday. Of course I came," he answered, squeezing her back.
I scratched the back of my neck, feeling an overwhelming sense of jealousy. They were just friends, but the way I was feeling after seeing her in that suit...she could've smiled at someone, and I'd want to bash their face in.
After a few moments, Ray opened her eyes, finally noticing me standing in the background. Her eyes widened in shock. I gave her a small wave, closing the distance between us.
She let go of Kai, taking a big step back. Kai looked over his shoulder at me and nodded. "Oh. Right. Yeah. Look who's here!"
Ray frowned slightly. "I didn't think you were coming."
I swallowed hard. "I messaged you saying I was gonna be here."
She scowled. "You messaged me 'okay'. And that was after I'd sent you six different messages and a voicemail. What the fuck does 'okay' mean? Okay to what?"
Kai's eyes widened at her anger. Ray never got mad at me. Kai, sure. But not with me. I, however, was not surprised in the slightest. I'd expected this. It's why I'd kept going back and forth over whether I should come or not.
"Well," Kai cut in. "We should get going. I'm sure your mom is dying to see me."
Ray cut her eyes at Kai. "Don't make me put you back on that flight."
He held up his hands, chuckling. "Come on, Ray. Would I even be me if I didn't hit on your mama at least once?"
"Who said I want you to be you?" Ray grumbled, turning around.
Kai put his arms around her shoulder, following her out to the car. I awkwardly trailed behind them, wishing I could disappear.
"SHOTGUN!" Kai yelled as soon as the black SUV was in sight.
Ray stared at him in disbelief as he hopped in the front seat. "You're calling shotgun in my car?"
"This ain't your car," Kai answered, buckling his seatbelt. "Now hurry up and get in so I can see my wife."
Ray glared at him, sliding into the far middle seat. "You're so lucky I like you."
Kai grinned, putting on his shades. "Don't I know it."
I climbed into the seat beside hers. There was a space between us, but she still flinched when I sat down. I nodded, deciding not to comment.
The ride to Solange's place was stifling. Ray would only speak to Kai, and whenever I'd join in, she'd stop talking altogether. Eventually I just stopped talking and stared out the window. I felt so relieved when we pulled up to a three-story pink house. It was big. Nowhere near the size of Beyoncé's mansion, but it held its own.
Kai being Kai, raced to the front door as if he was coming home. Ray took her time following him, smiling at his boldness. I walked a little faster to catch up with her.
"Hey," I said softly.
Her smile instantly soured. "What?"
"I didn't tell you before, but you look really good in that suit."
She pursed her lips. "I'm gonna change. It's uncomfortable."
She sped up, leaving me on the walkway. The chauffeur passed me, carrying our suitcases into the house. I collected myself, trudging the rest of the way to the house.
I stepped through the doorway and paused, despite myself. Solange's house was way different than Beyoncé's. Where Beyoncé went for classic, modern beauty, Solange had gone for eccentric beauty. The walls were a variety of colours. Many of them, draped with colourful cloths. There was art EVERYWHERE. Paintings, vases, figurines and other unidentifiable, intriguing objects.
My eyes roved over the space, overwhelmed. Though much smaller than Beyoncé's mansion, there was somehow much more to see. Every inch of space was interesting. This wasn't a house. This was a fucking experience.
Sarayah had probably felt like she'd died and gone to heaven when she first got here. I knew she appreciated the beauty of this place like me. We both loved art. However my chosen canvases were usually buildings.
I blinked a few times, feeling someone's eyes on me. I looked to my left. Ray's eyes quickly darted away. Her cheeks coloured under my curious gaze, but she wouldn't look back at me.
"This place is amazing," I commented, finally looking away.
"Thank you," Solange said, appearing out of nowhere. "I appreciate your appreciation." She giggled, looking at me knowingly. As if we shared a secret. "It's nice to see you again, Nevaeh."
I blushed at her emphasis on my name. Why was she looking at me like that? "You too, Solange."
Kai walked out from a room separated by a curtain, holding a cookie. "These are really good."
Solange laughed. "I was gonna say make yourself at home, but Kai here already has so...follow his lead, I guess. Mi casa es su casa. There are snacks in the kitchen. I just made oatmeal raisin cookies. Feel free to help yourself."
"Thanks, but I'm not hungry," I answered.
Kai raised his hand. "I am."
Solange laughed. "You and Sarayah are gonna eat me out of house and home. Come on, I'll fix you some late lunch." She started heading towards the kitchen and paused, looking over her shoulder. "Sarayah, don't just stand there. Show Nevaeh the room."
Ray nodded, turning on her heels. "Let's go."
I quickly grabbed my suitcase, hurrying behind her. She led me to a room with a queen-sized bed. There was a comfy looking swing chair in the corner. Perfect place to sit and read. I looked around, admiring the room. Even though my own room looked nothing like it, it somehow made me feel like I was home. The walls were painted lilac, giving it a calm, warm vibe. There were a few paintings hung up. A couple were abstract, but my eyes were drawn to the paintings showing black people in different colours, shapes and sizes. Each painting beautiful in its own unique way. Much like our people.
"This is the room," Ray said, drawing my attention to her. She looked uncomfortable.
"I love it. Is your room like this?" I asked, still looking around with avid interest. I moved my suitcase over to the dresser and looked over at her. She still hadn't responded. Her eyes distant as she played with her cufflinks.
"Ray?"
She cleared her throat. "Uh. I'm staying in this room. With you."
My face blanched. "Wi–with me?"
She grimaced. "Yeah. With you."
We stood silently for a minute, each of us digesting what that meant. We weren't speaking, but we were sharing a bed? As if things weren't awkward enough.
"It doesn't have to be weird," she said quietly. "I don't move in my sleep, so I'm not gonna touch you or anything. I'll stay on my own side. So, you can stop looking disgusted."
"Ray–" I began.
"Don't," she cut me off, her eyes hard. "Now can you move away from the dresser. I have to get my clothes."
I took a step back, letting her walk past me. I watched as she angrily sifted through her clothes.
"How long are you gonna ignore me?" I finally asked, unable to keep the question from spilling out.
Ray threw the t-shirt she'd been holding back into the drawer. "How long were you gonna ignore me?" She turned to face me, her eyes accusatory. "Tell me the truth. If my birthday hadn't come up, how long were you planning on ignoring me?"
My mouth dried up. I couldn't very well say 'forever', but that was the truth, and I didn't want to lie. I lowered my head, and she scoffed.
"Why'd you even come anyway?" She demanded. "Huh? To see New Orleans? You saw a free trip and thought, why not?"
My face contorted as I realized what she was insinuating. "Are you seriously asking me that?"
Ray shrugged. "Why is that so surprising? We barely spoke when I was in rehab–
"I was giving you time to heal," I explained, but she wasn't listening.
"And then you randomly show up in New York when my mom conveniently offers to pay for your trip–"
"You know it wasn't like that–" I tried to interject.
"And you have a great time spending the weekend with my famous family and then–"
"I don't give a fuck about your famous family–"
"You drop off the face of the fucking earth and then suddenly reappear–" she plowed on, ignoring my protests.
"It wasn't like that!"
"When I invite you on another all expenses paid trip with my fucking famous family!" She finished, shouting at me with tears in her eyes. "Why are you here!? How do you have time to hop on a plane to fucking New Orleans, but you can't answer a fucking text!?"
"It wasn't because of any of that!" I took a step towards her, but she moved away from me, her back hitting the dresser. "Ray, you know me."
She shrugged slightly, her face hopeless. "I don't think I do." A humourless laugh fell from her lips. "I'm such an idiot. You never open up to me. You never tell me what you're thinking. And somehow I deluded myself into thinking it didn't matter because we had this 'deep connection'. And I thought maybe it was leading to–"
She shook her head, leaving her thought unfinished. "But I was wrong. And I guess that's my own fault, so I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself for inviting you here, knowing it would only hurt me. Because having you here makes me so fucking happy. And that's bad because I know you don't feel the same way. And when you leave, and you say bye to me, you might mean forever."
"I wouldn't do that," I argued, shaking my head.
"You already did! And don't pretend you didn't because when I asked you about it before, you didn't answer and we both know what that meant."
I nodded, defeated. "You're right. I tried to cut things off between us."
She nodded, looking down as tears fell down her cheeks. "It's stupid. But I really didn't wanna be right."
"You weren't right about everything." I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. "I was ignoring you because I was scared."
She looked up at me, her eyes hurt. "What do you think I'm gonna do, Vaeh? You think just because I like–" She broke off looking down. "I'm not some out of control monster."
I held up my hands. "I never said that! That's not what I was saying. At the time, I didn't even know you liked–"
She scrunched up her eyebrows, a confused look replacing her hurt. "I don't understand."
I rubbed my eyebrow, my stress levels rising. I hated talking about my feelings, but it was time.
"I was scared because something I wanted for a long time felt possible, but also fragile. Like it would all slip away as soon as I got it. And the thought of that was scarier than not having it at all."
Ray digested what I said, her expression turning hesitantly hopeful. "Is this what you were trying to tell me in the café?"
I nodded, my cheeks heating up.
Her eyes studied my face. "I don't want to guess and be wrong. So just say it."
"Ray, I..." The words got caught in my throat.
"Say it. Just say it," she pleaded, stepping closer to me.
I licked my lips, staring into her piercing hazel eyes. "I–Ray I..."
She grabbed the collar of my shirt, on the verge of strangling me. "Nevaeh!"
"I like you," I whispered. The words seemed to float in the air, hanging delicately between us. I watched her carefully, waiting for her reaction. She closed her eyes for a long moment, her lashes fluttering. When she opened them, she grinned.
"Finally," she breathed before pulling me the short distance towards her.
I quickly met her lips with my own, melting at the feeling of her impossibly soft skin against mine. I inhaled deeply, her blend of cocoa butter and coconut oil pleasantly wafting through my senses. My hand reached up to cup her chin. My fingers slid along her jawline, finding the curls of loose hair behind her ears.
Without warning, she pulled away, her face concerned. "Now when you say 'like', do you mean–"
"Sarayah," I complained, moving my hands down to her waist. "Really?"
She shrugged. "What? I had to make sure."
I laughed. "I thought kissing you was answer enough."
She held up a finger. "Well, technically I kissed you so..."
I nodded. "Point taken," I murmured, languidly trailing my hands back up her body. She shivered under my touch, making me smile.
I cradled her face in my hands, looking down into those gorgeous hazel eyes before playfully capturing her bottom lip between my teeth. She sucked in her breath in surprise and–
"CAUGHT YOU!"
Ray and I jumped apart, staring at the door in shock. Kai was grinning in the doorway, his phone held up beside his face.
"FINALLY! I got the first Rayvaeh kiss on candid camera! Second one too!" He yelled, cackling. "You guys are gonna thank me for this someday. Hopefully, with money."
I took a deep breath, my heart rate slowly returning to normal. I'd thought it was Jay bursting in to fight me or something.
"Man, Kai," I complained. "Fuck you do that for? I nearly shit myself."
Ray blinked rapidly, looking between the two of us. "Why does it feel like I'm missing something? And what do you mean 'finally'?"
I glanced over at her, smiling sheepishly. "Oh, right. You don't know."
Ray homed in on me. "Know what?"
I blushed. "Kai knew I was feeling you."
She looked over at Kai. "KAI WHAT?"
Kai batted his eyelashes, his grin still firmly in place. "Sho' did. I'm such a good secret keeper now. Aren't you proud of me? Usually I can't keep my mouth shut, but this time I locked it down."
She narrowed her eyes. "So, that night I called you–"
"Boohooing and carrying on? Yeah. I knew. The whole time. Isn't that funny?"
Ray nodded slowly, then without warning, sprinted towards him. Kai, being used to getting attacked by us, was quick on his feet, running out the door before she could snatch him up. Ray was hot on his heels though, calling him every kind of name. I shook my head at them. Some things never changed. I smiled, touching my lips carefully. But other things did.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cute I guess. Lol I hate writing anything even vaguely romantic so please just relax and let me live.
In other random news that no one asked for, my sleep schedule is so fucked. I'm up past 4 am every night and it's a problem. Anyway, I'm gonna go listen to the Savage remix. Ok byeeee ✌🏽