Andy stares at her denim shorts in horror. "Motherchucker."
It's early—the blood stain is big and apparent and why is her period so early? She doesn't have any pads with her, or extra clothes, and she knows she can call Kat or her roommates for help but she's sure they're in class, and she doesn't want to disturb them—
"Hey, Andy," Bash calls from outside the bathroom. "You passed out or what? Are you coming?"
Andy needs to go home. "Uh, actually. Um, can you pass me my phone from my locker?"
"Sure, hold on." Andy shuts her eyes and waits while Bash grabs it. He slides the phone under the door. "Everything okay?"
"Yes, fine, thank you." She doesn't sound convincing—even to her own ears. Dialing Rhysand's number, she prays he isn't asleep.
He picks up on the fourth ring. "Sunshine," he rasps, like he just woke up.
Andy decides to scold herself for waking him up later. She purses her lips, and meekly, she says, "Rhys, I'm so sorry I woke you up. I just—I have an emergency...?"
"What happened?" he asks immediately, fully alert now. "What do you need?"
She knows she should be embarrassed talking about this with Rhysand, and she is, but she is not going out with blood on her underwear and shorts. "It's, um, it's a girl emergency. My period's early."
Rhysand pauses. And then he asks, "Okay, what do I bring you?"
Andy takes a deep breath. This is absolutely humiliating. "Um—"
"Andy," Bash's voice cuts in from outside the cubicle.
She covers the speaker in her phone with her palm, knowing Rhysand is...iffy about her friendship with Bash. "Yeah?"
"I have a pad in my bag if you need one," he says. "Piper's cycle is irregular so she forgets—and she's asked me and Sam too many times to run to the store to get her one. So I just keep one with me in case. You can borrow my clothes, too."
Andy shuts her eyes. She's going to cry. "Are you serious?"
"'Course I am," he answers, laughing. "I'll go and get what you need. Stay right there."
She takes a deep breath and puts the phone back in her ear.
"Sunshine?"
"Yeah, hi, sorry. Never mind, it's all good now," she says in a rush, still so embarrassed she had to call and let him know about something so small. "You don't need to bring me anything anymore."
Rhysand's quiet for a moment. "Are you sure? I'm not doing anything."
"Yes, I'm sure, I'm sorry for calling and...telling you that." She swallows the lump in her throat. "Um, see you later."
"Wait, sunshine—"
Andy hangs up. She covers her face with her hands and jeepers, why is she crying?
Her phone rings, and it's Rhysand calling. Andy puts it on silent mode and turns it over.
Bash comes back. Andy sniffles and wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand. "Thank you so much," she whimpers. "I'm so sorry you had to—"
"Shut up and take it," Bash says, sliding his duffel bag under the door. "The pad's in there as well as some joggers and a shirt. A jacket, too, if you need to cover your waist."
Andy's crying again. "I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing, Jesus," Bash scolds her. "Go on, I'll take you home afterwards."
She really, really doesn't deserve a friend like Bash. "You're skipping class?"
"I'll come back once you're home and okay."
Andy sniffles. "Thank you."
She can hear his smile when he says, "Don't mention it."
Her lower abdomen feels like it's being stabbed by a hundred sharp knives, and Andy's slow to move because of the pain. It never hurt like this before.
She keeps her shirt on, but puts on the pad and slips on Bash's joggers. They feel comfortable. She ties his jacket around her waist for extra measure, and the jacket smells so much like him.
She opens the door. Bash gives her a smile. "Here," she says in a small voice, handing him his bag. "Thank you so much. I promise I won't stain them and I'll wash them and iron them and give them back to you as soon as it's done."
The brunet takes the bag, shoulders it, and offers his hand. "I don't care if you stain them. And you don't need to do all that. You ready? You need help?"
Her abdomen and lower back hurt, but she shakes her head with a hesitant smile. "I'm fine, I can walk. Thank you."
"You look like you're in pain," Bash says.
"I am," Andy answers honestly, shutting her eyes. "Let's go."
Bash grabs her arm and places it around his shoulder. "Lean into me, okay? Let's go. Slowly."
Andy does as he says.
"What's your comfort food?"
Andy furrows her eyebrows. They make their way outside the shower room. "Comfort food?"
"Piper needs ice cream when she has her period," he explains. "What about you?"
"Oh, um. I don't know, chocolates help. And I just need to rest, my back always hurts whenever I have it."
Bash nods, tightening his grip around her waist as they continue their slow walk to the parking lot. "You women have it tough."
Andy manages a small smile. "How come you're okay talking about this? And not being...weird about it. Guys are usually disgusted by the idea of blood coming out from our private parts."
The brunet shrugs. "It's biology. It's normal, so you shouldn't be embarrassed. Plus, I've been around Piper for too many years—I know how to take care of her especially when Sam's not around. It's not a big deal."
Andy's smile widens. "You're a great friend, Bash. Thank you."
"Like I said," he says, flashing her a grin, "don't mention it. Keep the clothes if you want, okay? I don't care if you stain them."
It takes a while, and Bash tries to distract her from the pain by talking to her, but they do reach the parking lot. Bash leads her to a white Subaru, but the loud slamming of a door startles them both.
Rhysand steps out of the Jeep with a bag in one hand and a plastic bag on the other.
Andy's mouth drops open. "Rhys. What are you—"
"I was worried," he says, jaw clenching. He meets her eyes. "But it looks like you're taken care of already."
Oh, no. No. Andy doesn't need this right now.
Her head aches, her whole body is sore, and her abdomen is suffering—she doesn't need a fight.
She sighs and takes her arm away from Bash's shoulder. "Rhys, please."
"Do you want me to wait for you in the car?" Bash asks, his features drawn together.
"You're not waiting for her," Rhysand tells him coldly. "Leave."
"Rhysand," Andy snaps, furrowing her eyebrows. "What is wrong with you?"
Rhysand slams open the car door and throws the bags inside. "I'll take you home."
Andy faces Bash. Apologetically, she says, "I'm so sorry. Thank you so much for all your help, I owe you one."
The brunet nods and ruffles her hair. "Text me when you're home. Come back to school when you're okay."
Andy nods and watches him leave.
When he's completely out of sight, Andy stalks toward her boyfriend. Rhysand is staring at her with his jaw tight.
"What was that?" she demands. "You were so rude, Rhysand—"
"Why weren't you answering my calls?" he snaps, and Andy flinches from the loudness of his voice. "I was worried."
Andy's stunned. "I'm sorry, I—"
"And then I come here and see you in his clothes." He scoffs, shaking his head. "That's fucking sweet of him."
"It's nothing like that!" Andy protests, and she hates this. She hates fighting with him. Why can't he see that Bash is nothing more than a friend? "He offered to help me and I accepted it because that's what friends do—"
"Then why didn't you tell me what you needed?" Rhysand growls, slamming his hand against the car door and stepping toward her. "What, you were embarrassed to talk about this shit with me, to ask me for help but not him? Why? What's so different about him?"
There are tears brimming around her eyes already. Andy inhales shakily. "It's not like that, Rhysand," she insists, voice breaking. "Please stop yelling at me—"
"Do you know what that makes me feel?" Rhysand pushes, and his eyes look so angry, and Andy's scared—"You had to ask someone else! I'm supposed to be the one you're comfortable with, I'm supposed to be the one taking care of you—"
"Okay, I'm sorry!" Andy says, sobbing now. "I didn't want you to see me like that and I didn't want to bother you about something so small—"
"It's not fucking small!" Rhysand yells. "Jesus, fuck—I don't understand why you're apologizing for calling and why you can ask him for help and not me—me, your fucking boyfriend—"
"Well, I'm sorry I bruised your ego!" Andy retorts, furiously wiping her cheeks. "Jesus Christ, Rhysand. I don't need your childish jealousy right now—or at all, actually. When will you get it through your head that Bash and I are just friends?"
"You're not just a fucking friend to him!"
"He was just helping me!" Andy argues, shaking her head. Oh, how her heart feels so heavy. "He was just helping me, Rhysand. Please stop yelling."
Rhysand stares at her.
Andy sobs. "I want to go home," she rasps through her tears. "Please. Just take me home."
Rhysand curls his hands into fists. "Can you just not see him anymore?" he asks flatly. "For my own peace of mind?"
Andy wants to scream. "He's just my friend!"
Rhysand pushes past her to open the passenger door forcefully. "Fine," he says through gritted teeth. "Get in."
They don't talk on the way to the dorm. Andy's eyes are red and sore and her whole body aches that she just curls in on herself and shuts her eyes to keep herself from crying more. She doesn't want Rhysand to yell at her again.
She wants to talk to him. She wants them to be okay. She just doesn't know how, when she can't understand her own actions.
Why didn't she tell Rhysand? Why was she so reluctant in asking him for help but was so accepting when Bash offered it?
Andy knows she has absolutely zero feelings for Bash. She's not confused. She's sure about Rhysand. She just...
Her head hurts. She wants to stop thinking. She wants her head and her heart to stop hurting.
The plastic bag on her feet has pads and chocolates in it. The other bag, Andy assumes, has clothes.
He went and got her these even though Andy hung up on him and ignored his calls.
Rhysand stops the car in front of her dorm building. "Take the plastic bag," he says flatly, making no move to open the car door for her.
Andy opens it herself and takes it. She doesn't look him in the eye, but for what it's worth, she says, "Thank you."
Rhysand doesn't say anything else.
But he doesn't leave during the slow walk into the building. It's painful but manageable, she just has to clutch her hand into her stomach and take small steps. She almost cries in relief when she reaches the elevator.
The Jeep only leaves once Andy's in her room.
She takes off Bash's clothes and her underwear and shirt. In the shower, she doesn't know if it's water running down her face or her bitter, salty tears.
Andy spends the rest of the afternoon sleeping. She has tons of readings and studying to do for midterms, but she can't move. She curls in on herself on the bed in sweatpants and a torn-up shirt, hair up in what is supposed to be a bun but looks like a bird's nest, and she looks and feels awful and Rhysand isn't talking to her and she wants him here.
MJ sits on the edge of her bed and sighs. "Bub, you look terrible. How are you feeling?"
"I know," Andy sobs miserably. "Rhys and I fought. Again. And I'm on my period and it was so stupid!"
Her roommate hands over a glass of water and a pill. "Take it. It's supposed to make you feel better."
Andy sits up slowly with a groan. She does as MJ says and lies back down gracelessly, like a rag doll. "I want to cuddle with Rhysand," she mumbles against her pillow.
MJ sighs again. "Then call him."
"No, he's mad at me," Andy mutters. "No, I'm mad at him. I don't know, I just want him here!"
"Fuck's sake," the redhead says, jumping off the bed and snatching Andy's phone from her bedside. "I'll do it, then."
Andy grabs MJ's arm and shakes her head furiously. "No, he's not going to answer," she says quietly, taking her phone back. "I'll just...I'll just text him."
She uses her hand to clear the wetness clinging to her lashes and cheeks as she sits up again, hugging her knees to her chest. Her fingers hesitate on the keypad, but she takes a shaky breath and types. Rhys...I know we're fighting right now but can you come over? If you're not busy? If you are that's fine you don't have to.
Andy pulls her bottom lip with her teeth as she waits for his reply.
A minute passes. Then another. Andy clutches her phone with her hand.
MJ takes it. "I'll wake you up when he replies. Get some rest." She gives her hand a squeeze. "I'll make you hot chocolate later."
Heart sinking, she nods and lies down.
It takes a while, but eventually, she falls asleep again.
And when MJ wakes her up, Andy's first thought is that her body hurts less than before.
Then her roommate says, "Rhysand is here, bub. Do I send him up?"
He came.
Andy nods. She rubs her eyes with the back of her hand. "Yes please. What about the RA?"
"Don't worry." MJ smiles at her. "I'll handle it. I'll leave you two alone. Call me when you need me, okay?"
"Thank you." Andy stretches out one arm to hug her friend.
She looks like a mess. She knows she does, even without looking at the mirror. Sluggishly, she stands up and makes her way to the bathroom to at least wash her face. She thinks about taking her hair tie off, but doing so will make her hair look worse than it already is. So she leaves it as is and prays Rhysand won't care.
When he enters their dorm room, Andy's sitting on her bed, fiddling with her fingers.
He's dressed like he always is—jeans, a black shirt and jacket—and he looks like he always does that Andy's heart skips a beat.
But he smells different.
Andy tries for a smile. "Hi."
Rhysand's face stays blank. He sits on one of the chairs and faces her.
She waits for him to say something.
When he doesn't, Andy swallows the lump in her throat and says, "Were you busy?"
"I was."
The flat tone feels like a harsh slap to Andy's face. She purses her lips. "Oh. I'm sorry, then."
Rhysand is still expressionless, but his jaw clenches ever so slightly. "I thought you didn't want me to see you like this."
"I didn't. I don't."
Rhysand stands.
"Wait, no, don't leave," Andy rushes to say, reaching out to grab his arm. Fresh, new tears brim around her eyelids at his coldness. "It's because I look ugly and I don't have perfume or makeup on," she mutters, shutting her eyes. "But I wanted you here. But you were busy and I'm sorry for texting."
Rhysand turns to look at her. "You're sorry for texting?"
Oh no. Why does she keep saying the wrong thing?
Andy clutches the hem of her shirt. "I—no, I didn't mean it like that."
Rhysand stays silent.
Andy looks at him through the wetness in her eyes. "I don't—I don't know, it's just habit, I'm sorry—"
His phone rings.
Frustrated, Rhysand pulls it out of his pocket and answers it.
Andy doesn't know what to do. She's crying again and she looks pathetic.
"I don't know if I'll be back," Rhysand says to whoever he's speaking to, and a small part of Andy jumps. "So take Veronica home."
Andy freezes.
He hangs up.
"Veronica?" she asks quietly, drawing her eyebrows together. "You were with her?"
Rhysand pockets his phone. "She heard about Sterling and called me to celebrate."
Her sadness is replaced by an unmistakable anger and panic. "You were with her while we were fighting?"
"We're friends."
Andy looks at Rhysand in disbelief. "Is this revenge, Rhysand?"
Rhysand looks at her, and she hates that his face is blank. "No, I'm stating the truth."
"Great timing!" Andy snaps, standing up. "And what did you do with her?"
"You said you hated childish jealousy."
"Bash is different!" Andy's voice breaks as she stands face to face with Rhysand. "I can't believe you would go as low as this to make me feel what you felt—"
"She called about Sterling," Rhysand hisses, eyes flaring with anger now. "That's it. If it were intentional, sunshine, you'd know. This had nothing to do with you."
Her name on his lips felt so wrong. Andy pushes his chest weakly. "What did you do?"
"We went out for drinks."
That's what he smelled like. Alcohol. Her heart hurts. "And how do I know that?"
"You don't trust me?"
"You don't trust me either!"
Rhysand stares at her. "Jenner was with us. Fucking ask him."
When he leaves this time, Andy doesn't stop him.
She calls her roommate crying. MJ comes back and prepares her hot chocolate, and Andy drinks it and falls back asleep.
*
i feel like overall this book will reach 40-ish chapters? we're halfway, then!
thank you always for reading! i love rhys but sometimes he's a dick sdkjskdjs
let me know what you think!