I feel dirty.
Since I slept with Kaden I've taken four showers, scrubbing at my skin in boiling hot water until I couldnt take it anymore. It hasnt helped at all.
Kira looks like she's about to throw up as she looks at herself in the mirror, running her hands over her dress. It's a long skin tight white dress with a slit up the back and a low neck. She looks gorgeous but I can tell she hates it.
This is an awful plan but she wasnt taking no for an answer and honestly, it sparked a tiny bit of hope inside me. It was entirely possible that the Caruso's had Quinn and I know that there isnt a limit to the amount of money I would give over to have him safe.
I try to smother it though. Theres no way that tonight can go that I come out on top. Even if we get Quinn back it just means that I'm going to have to lose him all over again.
I stand next to Kira and glance at what I'm wearing; a long black dress with a flowing skirt and two long cuts up each leg, revealing the thigh holster. I slide a gun into the holster and secure it before slipping on my ridiculously high stilettos.
"We're going to get him back," Kira says suddenly, her voice soft, "You just have to have hope."
I dont answer her and instead walk over to the bed and pick up my bag to check that my phone is inside, "We should get going if you want to be home early enough. Your classes start tomorrow."
Her hand touches my shoulder and I fight the urge to jump. I hadn't even heard her come up behind me, "You can talk to me you know. I may not be able to give you good advice but I can listen."
Shes so goddamn nice. She's far too good for the world I dragged her into. Far too nice to ever complain to me for fucking up her life.
"I'm just so tired of fighting it," I confess, "I've been fighting the inevitable for years and it's a losing battle. Everyone else is growing up, settling. You've got your art, Quinn's got... had his shop, and I have my family. I have a legacy to uphold, a role to play and I've been putting it off for so long but I think its time. It's time to give up before someone else gets hurt."
In a couple of months it'll be Matthew showing up dead, or Kira going missing again. Maybe my parents being murdered to prove a point, or Lisa being taken.
I'm fighting a war with too many casualties.
I sniff back tears and straighten up, "We really do need to get going," I say and then rush out of the room before she can ask anymore questions.
Kaden is already waiting by the car as I decided that it would be best if he came too. Safety in numbers and all that.
The drive is pretty much silent. I havent spoken to Kaden since last night. I even went through Mylo to tell him about the plan for tonight. It's not that I regret what happened, it had to be done. I dont feel awkward around him or anything it's just everytime I look at him I remember what happened, how much I didnt want to enjoy it but how I gave in to the feeling.
Every time I look at him, I realise that I want to do it again and every time I feel that, I feel like I'm betraying Quinn and that breaks my heart.
"So what's the deal with this guy? Arent your family's fighting?" Kaden asks when we're close to the house where the rings are.
I sigh, "They used to be. We're sort of at peace at the moment. We dont interfere with them and they dont interfere with us. It was one of the first things my dad did when he claimed the title."
Dad stopped a decades long war. I started one with my own family.
"His brother also raised me so we have something to talk about," I laugh.
Kaden chuckles, "Oh yes. The Russian mob boss who was raised by an Italian. I nearly didnt believe it when they told me."
I nod, "Yep. That's also why the Petrovs hate me. They think I run things wrong because of who raised me. But Alexander was raised by Natalyla just like Dad was, he carried the Guerreiro name but no one could see past the fact that his birth certificate said 'Caruso'."
"Where is he now?" Kaden asks. His tone has softened which is new. I've been seeing a very different side to him recently.
"Dead," I say bluntly, "The Petrovs had him killed a few years back. Shot him right in the chest. You dont realise how much blood is inside someone until it isnt anymore."
"You were there?"
I nod again, "I wasnt fast enough to save him. Not that there was anything I could do, it was a fatal shot."
"Is that it?" Kira says pointing out the house lit up on the road in front of us, "How are we going to get in?"
I smirk. Its moments like this that the Petrovs should be glad I was raised by an Italian as I'm the only one in the family fluent in Italian, "Just keep quiet and follow me."
We park up next to a row of cars that are probably more expensive than the average persons mortgage and get out. My heels sink into the gravel and I groan. I manage to regain my balance and open the door for Kira and help steady her in her own heels.
We walk up to the front door and the guard standing there looks me up and down, "Boss was wondering when you'd show up again," he says in perfect English.
I'm stunned for a second and then fear sinks in. They'd been expecting me which couldnt be good.
"In you go. He's upstairs with Santiago. They always prefer a more private setting," he gestures in with his head and then looks Kira up and down, "Selling or just showing off?"
I grab her arm and pull her close, "Showing off," I say which seems to satisfy him enough to open the doors for us and reveal my worst nightmare.
A smile grows on Kaden's face and I remember all the reasons I hate him. I look around at the mess of people. Some of then too rich for their own good and the rest too terrified to do anything but obey.
A collared man stumbles into me and I feel cold liquid running down my arm. He gasps in fear and starts muttering something in broken English. I shake my head as I quickly scoop up the empty glass and brush off the mess on my arm, "Its ok," I say to him with a small smile to try and reassure him that he's not going to be punished for it.
I pretend to drink out of the empty glass to make it less suspicious and then turn away from the man. I wish I could help him but I cant.
Kaden watches me intently, "My mother was sold at one of these. Last time I was here my best friend was being sold like cattle," I explain to him, "I was reminded a few years ago that I was one wrong move away from ending up at one of these myself."
He nods and takes my arm as we head towards the stairs. I reach back and squeeze Kira's hand. I easily ignore the stares we're getting but I know that Kira will be struggling.
As we get to the top, it quietens down and I turn to Kira and pull a diamond choker out from my bag, "Wear this. It will help you fit in."
She looks down at it in her trembling hands, "Its a collar," her voice shakes.
I grab her hands to still them and nod, "Its only for show. They have to believe I own you."
I take it from her and she lifts her hair so I can secure it in place. It looks beautiful against her delicate throat.
I take her hand again, "You got this," I remind her and stroke her cheek, "If he lays a finger on you, I'll kill him." I smile even though I'm not joking and she laughs.
We walk down the hall way together and finally reach a room with a guard, "Koroleva," she says with a grin, "He'll love to see you."
She opens the door and I see him sitting there, draped across his chair without a care in the world, "Silvio," I say as I walk in, "Santiago."
The other man raises an eyebrow as we walk in and I seat myself down on a spare extravagant couch. Kaden sits down beside me and Kira stands awkwardly behind us. I put my hand down on the seat beside me and she sits. Her eyes are drawn to the quite clearly high half naked women dancing in the corner and she looks pretty sick.
"Think we could have some privacy?" I ask gesturing with my head towards the two girls.
Santiago whines but Caruso nods and says something in a language I dont understand. The two girls leave and Kira relaxes a little beside me.
"They're Romanian," he says as the door closes, "beautiful arent they? Of course, you prefer blondes dont you?" He gestures to Kira and Kaden on either side of me. "I can guess why you're here," he says and leans back.
Santiago sits forward and lays out a line of cocaine on a mirror. He rolls up a £50 note and snorts it before offering it to Kaden who accepts it, "So you're not the usual boy toy," He comments.
Kaden sniffs and then shakes his head, "I'm her fiance."
Caruso raises an eyebrow at me, "Alexander was always so opposed to marrying you off."
"Well he's dead now," I say with a sigh, "But we're not here to talk about my engagement. I'm here to ask if you know where Quinn Prescott is. It wouldnt be the first time one of my missing friends had ended up here."
"Are you accusing me of something Guerreiro?" Caruso says with a dangerous smirk.
I shake my head with a smile, "Not at all. Just checking there wasnt some confusion and you had accidentally picked him up in your dealings."
He sips his drink, maintaining eye contact, "Last time we spoke I didnt think I was going to see you again. I'd met Ellie before and I cant imagine she went down without a hell of a fight."
I force myself to relax and reach forward and pour myself a drink. I pour Kira one too hoping it will calm her nerves, "I'll admit she was a tough opponent but that only made smashing her skull even more satisfying."
He laughs at this and then looks over at Kaden, "Be careful with her. Once she's decided someone's going to die, they're as good as dead."
He looks back at me and then shakes his head, "Sorry to disappoint but your little pet isnt here. We've been extra careful to avoid any confusion."
My heart drops but I dont let it show. "While you're here, you may as well stay a while. Have another drink, enjoy yourself before the chains of marriage bind you to eachother."
I get to my feet and Kira jumps up beside me, Kaden is a little slower in turning down his offer, "Not today. I've got to get Kira home."
Santiago grins, "I saw that you let her go home? Did you bring her here to prove that you still own her?"
I drop the smile, "I brought her here to remind both of you to keep your filthy hands off what is mine."
The two of them laugh, "Very well. I'm glad to see you embracing Koroleva. For a while I was worried that you were going to fuck it up by holding on to your life in Torstone," Caruso says and I dont answer him. Instead I lead the two of them out of the building and to the car as quickly as possible.
We've only been on the road five minutes before Kira starts to cry, "I really thought he'd be there."
I know that's not why she's crying. I know its because of Caruso but I dont say anything. I'm too scared that if I open my mouth I'll start crying too.
I should never have brought her back there. It was a selfish move to try and show them that I had my shit together and she's paying the price.
The rest of the journey is silent, even Kaden knows to shut up. By the time we pull up to the school its past midnight and Kira has stopped crying.
We walk into one of the common rooms to grab a drink before going back to the hotel but what I see instead is Matt and two people I really didnt want to see right now.
"You phoned my fucking parents?"