I dragged the brush through my hair and glared at myself in the mirror. Dad said to look nice as my fiance would be attending dinner tonight.
The temptation to wear sweatpants and a hoodie was definitely there but I managed to fight it and opt for a black backless shape hugging dress with lace detail. It came to about half way down my thigh and back home I would pair it with my heeled boots and a denim jacket but here instead I'm wearing a pair of strappy black stilettos.
I pin my hair back with a gold clasp and swipe on dark lipstick and eyeliner sharp enough to cut a bitch before stepping back to look at myself. In the heels my 5'8 stature becomes nearly 6ft and I have to admit I look good. I'd marry me.
My phone rings and I watch as Quinn's face lights up my screen. A grin is plastered on his flour covered face and my heart flutters as I remember that day. We were baking cookies and ended up having a food fight. He just looked so cute that I ended up kissing him and then things escalated. Next thing we knew the fire alarm was going off, the cookies were burnt to a crisp and we had to rush to find our clothes before either Switch or Artie came in to see what was going on.
I cant bring myself to talk to him yet. I'm terrified that I'll hear his voice and break down. Telling him will make it real. Losing him will make me have to come to terms with the fact that my life has already been planned out and not by me.
The phone rings out and I let out a breath I didnt know I was holding. He knows something is wrong. He always knows when something is wrong.
Someone knocks on the door and then I see in the reflecting my dad's head looking around the door, "I know you hate me but I'm guessing you hate me the least out of everyone here so do you want to join me for dinner?"
He's speaking in Portuguese which makes me smile. When I was little, Portuguese was like our secret language, only the two of us spoke it fluently which meant we could have conversations which no one could understand.
"I dont hate you," I tell him truthfully, still in Portuguese, "I hate what you told me. Dont shoot the messenger and all that."
He laughs and comes into the room, "You look beautiful minha," back to English, "I hate that you have to do this."
I shrug, "Its all just part of the job. I'll get over it." I sigh and he puts a hand on my shoulder, "What's he like? Can I get a bit of warning before I meet him?"
Dad laughs and takes my arm as we walk out of the room, "His name is Kaden Flynn, he's 29, from New York but will move home with you and work in collaboration with his people in New York as you do with the Petrovs in Russia."
I cringe, "29? He's 11 years older than me."
His jaw tightens at this, "Trust me. I'm not happy about it either. It wasnt me who chose, not that there was a choice by the looks of things. His family offered him to us and the Petrovs accepted. As the only unmarried woman in the family it was put to you."
"Are you telling me that I could avoided this shit if I had refrained from beating those Petrov bitches heads in?" I say exasperated. Killing Mika and Ellie had felt good. Mika had killed Alexander and got exactly what she deserved. Ellie had betrayed Quinn and hurt my Mum and it was good to hurt her back.
Dad laughs and squeezes me to his side, "Probably not. If you hadn't killed them then I would've. No one hurts a Guerreiro and gets away with it."
We near the dining room and my heart clenches. Nerves make my body freeze up and I stop walking. I force myself to take deep breaths, to stay focused and calm. I imagine Quinn is with me, squeezing my hand and telling me that everything's okay.
"Minha?" Dad says as he nudges me, trying to get me moving again, "Everything ok?"
I nod and put a smile on my face, "Of course, just needed a second to gather myself." I smooth out my dress and brush my hair back away from my face, "How do I look?"
He smiles at me softly and I can see pain in his eyes. He's dreading this as much as I am, "You look perfect."
I push the door open and immediately hit with the chatter. Its partly in Russian and partly in English which suggests that Kaden and his family are already here.
Nikita spots me first. The only surviving Petrov of that generation. Only two years ago I had her only daughter executed and now she welcomes me to her dinner table. Damn my family is fucked up.
She stands and gestures towards two empty seats to her right. She sits at the head of the table as she always does. Across from the two empty chairs I see our guests; two men both late 20s, one smaller and slim with a mess of dark hair and face glinting with silver piercings and the other taller and wider, pure muscle by the looks of things, with dirty blond hair cut close to his head and a long scar from his nose to his hair line through his left eye.
One of these men is my fiance.
My stomach turns and I force myself to keep walking towards the empty seats, my father close behind. His hand brushes mine, him just reminding me hes there, and I appreciate the reassurance.
I keep my chin high as I sit down and tuck my chair in, crossing my legs and avoiding the eyes of the men in front of me. At the corner of my eye I can see the pierced man studying me and I bring myself to stare back at him, my face neutral.
We meet eyes and he looks almost green for a second before looking away as dinner is served.
I barely taste the food as I eat it, just wanting to get the food done with so Nikita can get on with the announcement and I can finally find out who the fuck I'm marrying.
As everyone finishes, the general chat starts to die off and the plates are taken away and replaced with glasses of champagne. I hate champagne but I sip on it anyway hoping it will give me enough of a buzz for the night to go easier.
Nikita gets to her feet again and brushes her long white hair over her shoulder, "Welcome all, I hope you enjoyed your meals," she says in English so that our guests can understand, "Now, this is not our normal dinner as I'm sure you all guessed from the addition of our two American friends beside me here. On that note I would like to welcome Mylo and Kaden Flynn."
The scarred man does an awkward little wave and I smile, they must feel like sheep in a pack of wolves here, surrounded by killers. Right next to the scarred man sits a 24 year old girl called Irina for example who has never met someone she cant break in the basement.
Nikita smiles at them, "They're here tonight as Kaden here is going to marry our own Rya. The ceremony will be held at the Guerreiro estate in Scotland in two weeks and we are all so excited to watch how our two families can grow after this marriage. But I think we should allow the new couple to get to know eacgother a little better so they can stay here and if the rest of you would follow me to the living room, we will continue with drinks."
Dad squeezes my knee and puts a glass down in front of me as he goes to leave and I try to smother a grin as I realise what he's given me. Irina gives me a thumbs up as she walks away and I roll my eyes.
As the door closes behind them, I grab the glass and take a large drink not expecting it to be straight vodka. I thought he would have at least mixed it with something.
The large mouthful burns my throat as I sit back in my chair and let out a loud sigh before looking up at my new husband. The scarred man sits there and is still just staring at me.
"So, this isnt awkward at all," I laugh to try and lift the mood. This would be a lot more tolerable if I actually liked the guy too.
He shrugs and sits back in his chair, "Its just a business deal." His accent is thick and I realise it's another accent for me to get used to.
I glare at him, "Its also our lives. We're going to have to live with eachother for the rest of our lives because of this 'business deal'. We're going to have to put on a front of a loving couple because of this 'business deal'" I cant keep the venom out of my voice, "Because of this 'business deal' I'm having to give up the most important thing in my life."
He rolls his eyes, "You dont have to get emotional about it. You get to wear a pretty dress and then I'll put a baby or two in your belly and that's that."
Hold on a fucking second. Nobody said anything about kids.
I get to my feet and start to walk out of the room. It feels like the walls are closing in on me and I need to get away from all the prying eyes. I rush up the stairs, stumbling in my big shoes and run down the hall to my room, slamming the door behind me.
I drag my hands through my hair, yanking out the clasp and kick off the shoes before I break an ankle. I grab the phone off my bed and slide down onto the floor still holding it. Tears blur my vision and I cant see the screen but my fingers know where to go.
It must be late there but I need to hear Quinn's voice. I need him to tell me it's going to be ok. I choke on my own breath as my body trembles and I sob, covering my mouth so no one will hear me.
Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up.
It just keeps ringing, and ringing, and ringing.
"Hey, its Quinn, I'm currently not available at the moment so leave a message. Or you know, text me cause I'm more likely to actually get that."
I wipe my eyes and hang up and go to call again but I see a message notification at the top of my screen.
It's from him about an hour ago.
I'm sorry Rya but I can't do this anymore. It's too much and I need away from it all. Dont call me or text me, it's over.