Al Green: Let's Stay Together
Before I even realized it, we were in December and London had turned into Christmas central overnight. There were lights stringed all over the streets, shops put out their festive decorations and you could have a hot chocolate on every corner. It was what lit up my days going to and from work, since there was nothing happening at work. I was beginning to get frustrated and I constantly scolded myself for it... I knew what I was getting myself into, it's never easy when a business is new. It takes time, patience and a lot of energy to position yourself on the market and get clients. I got that but I couldn't help but feel less motivated when I walked into the office every day. Rodney was aware of my low spirits and he really tried to push me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I guess it was the memory of last December and the mayhem that we experienced as an event production company in DC that kept me from feeling inspired to push through the slow period here.
When I got home the warmth surprised me. It was a welcome change from the crisp air outside. Harry must've left the heat on before leaving this morning and it doesn't get better than that. We were kind of living at my place for a week and then at his for another. I unpacked the food shop and changed into comfier clothes and then I noticed a gigantic spider on the floor. It was moving slowly, not knowing where to go and my first reaction was to climb up on the coffee table, as if the spider wouldn't be able to get to me if I'm off the living room floor.
"Teacup, what the hell are you doing?", keys jangled outside and the door opened to reveal a bundled up Harry, who walked in and seemed instantly amused by the scene in front of him.
"I'm standing on the coffee table; I can do that... I live here and I can do whatever the hell I want.", I said confidently, crossing my arms over my chest. He wasn't buying it.
"Where's the spider?", the man knew me like the back of his hand, there was no way I'd do something as silly as climb the coffee table if there were no insects involved.
"Under the console table...", I pointed to the TV stand and he walked over, locating the creature pretty quickly. Instead of killing it, which I would've done if I had the guts to face it, he took a magazine, scooped it up and threw it through the window.
"It's okay, the air is clear and you can come down.", he extended his hand to help me down.
"Thank you, my love. How was your day?", it was a conscious decision between us to talk about work only once a day. We were both in a rut work-wise, he'd taken some time off to be in the UK, visit with his family, write music and just generally enjoy himself after the tour. I, on the other hand, was stuck levitating in the air somewhere between being happy that I was in Europe and frustrated that I had no work to do.
"It was good. I went for a workout with Niall, he says hi, by the way. Then I had lunch with Gem and I tried writing music but nothing came out. How about you, what did you get up to, my teacup?"
"Your day was much more eventful than mine, but it's honestly fine. It'll be okay once we get some clients and start doing proper work.", we were making lemon rosemary salmon with a side of potatoes for dinner and I was trying to keep busy by unpacking the food and getting it prepped for cooking. I knew Harry noticed I was off when it came to work, mainly because I hadn't been sharing much with him. It was because there was nothing to share, I didn't know where we stood as a company.
"It doesn't seem fine, teacup. What's the matter?", he pushed me ever so lightly, using his pet name for me to make sure I knew he wasn't looking for a fight and wouldn't force me to talk about it if I really didn't feel like it.
"I don't know. It's very weird. I feel like we'll never get clients and I'll never go back to doing big events again. Do you remember when we met in December of last year? That was my third party of the week and probably the twentieth event we produced that entire month. Since I've been here, with Rod, we've only had one album listening party and we were completely unnecessary in terms of production.", I took out a baking dish from one of the cupboards and started layering rosemary and half a sliced lemon inside.
"First of all, DC is different. You know that, the States are a whole different ball park. Things move slower here. I don't think it's a sign that things will never go well for you with Rodney, I just think it takes time.", he took the salmon out of it's packaging while he spoke.
"No, I get that Harry. That's not the issue. But I can't shake the feeling of defeat whenever I get home from work. It feels like a demotion. The pay is less, obviously, but that doesn't matter as much. I've saved up from the tour and I don't really care about the money. What I care about is work. My talents are rotting away in an office building, filing papers and filling out forms for government grants that wouldn't do us any good even if we got them since we'd have nowhere to spend them at. I'm just frustrated, is all.", we cut up the remaining lemon, put the salmon on top, Harry drizzled olive oil over it and I added the leftover rosemary and sprinkled salt over the whole thing. He pulled out a smaller baking dish and started chopping up and seasoning potatoes to pop in the oven first. We'd have to bake them about 10 minutes longer than the salmon.
"I understand that. What would you like to do? Are you thinking of searching for a different job?", I hadn't even thought of it. Well, that's a lie... I have, but I'd never do it to Rodney and the team.
"No, I don't think that would be the answer. In the end I'm just angry at myself for being disappointed and unmotivated. I knew that it wouldn't be easy, that we'd be doing less as a team here than I had alone as an EP in DC, that I wasn't really taking this job because it offered an incredible opportunity... I took this job because it was in Europe. That's what I have to accept.", both baking dishes were now in the oven and we sat at the dining table with a bottle of Italian Chardonnay.
"If Lil' or Jack asked you to come back to DC, would you?"
"No, Harry, did you not hear what I just said? I took this job because it's in Europe... I'd never go back.", I laughed a little at his confusion.
"Well I guess I'm a bit confused and can't figure out what the problem is.", he persisted.
"That I'm spoilt and impatient. Things will work out here, we'll eventually catch a big break and climb up that ladder. I'm frustrated because I want to have it all: to be in Europe, where I'm happy and to have lots of work that fulfils me professionally. That just can't happen yet.", the timer luckily buzzed and alerted us that we'd have to take the salmon out soon. Saved by the bell. Dinner was very delicious and we were both exhausted from the day so we washed up and went straight to bed.
"Are you aware that in only two weeks we'll have known each other a whole year?", Harry interrupted my nightly skincare routine and got me to thinking.
"Holy hell! A year... wow, it went by in a flash.", it feels like a lifetime ago that we met, not a mere year ago. Shit, I have to buy him a present. I'd worry about that tomorrow.
The week painfully dragged on but holiday party season was in full swing, so we weren't bored. Niall had one a bit earlier than usual, as he put it, because he planned on going home to Ireland for Christmas but wanted to celebrate with a hundred of his closest friends. Gemma invited me to lunch on Thursday, which was a bit of a surprise since we hadn't spent much alone time together. I was a bit skeptical in the beginning, but her personality burst my nervous bubble in a matter of minutes and we had a lovely time.
I'd decided my gift for Harry would be a framed picture that Louis took our first night in Madrid, because that was a memory we'd both like to cherish forever. The picture wouldn't be enough but it was really hard to shop for a man who had everything, so I settled for the next best thing – a love letter. I'd tell him to read it after I leave for Croatia, since we wouldn't be spending Christmas together. Harry invited me to Holmes Chapel with him, but I already missed one holiday season with my family and I couldn't bare to be apart for one more.
CHRISTMAS EVE 2020
Harry and I were having an anniversary lunch instead of a dinner, because I'd be flying across Europe come dinnertime. He insisted we try and make sushi, which was going to be a nightmare... when my perfectionism and his overpowering improvisation skills come to clash it will end in a disaster, but at least we'll get to laugh about it later. I was very nervous to give him his gift, but I was more nervous to receive one from him. He was an over-the-top kind of guy when it came to gifts, but they all had meaning.
"Love come 'ere a second!", he called me into his living room and I pulled the wrapped package from a big bag in the kitchen.
"You cannot open the letter until I'm on an airplane, okay? But you can open the first one now." – he handed me a big box wrapped in the most hilarious Bill Nighy (stark naked on Christmas eve) wrapping paper, and I gave him a very poorly wrapped gift at the same time.
"Fine. Now, there are two separate presents here. One is far less practical than the other, but I hope you enjoy both.", we started unwrapping at the same time and I stopped for a second, to observe his reaction at the photo of us. His eyes lit up when he uncovered the blown up print of the two of us sitting on the terrace in Madrid, looking into each other's eyes. I wrote 'Madrid, July 1st' at the very bottom of the image with a little heart.
"It's wonderful, teacup, I absolutely love it! Thank you! Now open yours!", he urged me to continue unwrapping and when I finally ripped the last bit of Bill Nighy off I saw an envelope and a quite chunky frame. It was my doorbell, the same awful-sounding doorbell, now within a frame...
"Push it, come on.", Harry sat with his hands on top of his knees, smiling at me. When I pushed the doorbell it sounded nothing like it used to...
"Sammy! Fantastic show! Classic drumming, son.", Liam Neeson, Daniel from Love Actually, spoke, "Thanks. Plan didn't work, though./Tell her, then./ Tell her what?/ That you love her./ OK, Dad. Let's do it. Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love.", the sound ended and I was in tears.
"Do you like it?", I threw my hands around his neck and started kissing his entire face.
"I love it Harry! It's my favorite dialogue from the film, and it's the doorbell that made me admit to you that I loved you... it's the most perfect gift I've ever received."
"You haven't opened the second part, go on.", I pulled the envelope out and saw two first class tickets to Dulles airport in DC, for the 30th of December.
"I figured you'd like to spend New Year's with Josh and me, so we're going to DC.", how did I get so lucky to be with a man this thoughtful and perfect? It was beyond me.
Our goodbye was the shortest ever, since we'd be seeing each other in a few days when we go to DC. We kissed in the car and Harry didn't enter the airport with me, which was a good choice since there were photographers that followed us from his house to Heathrow. I boarded the plane feeling the most content I'd ever been. Things would never be perfect on all fronts, but I had love and I had friendship, I had family and I had experiences I'd never trade. I was one of the lucky ones.
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A/N: it's not Christmas for us, but it is for them and it's also their anniversary!!! I hid a little recipe for you in this chapter, you should try cooking it because it's so simple and so incredibly delicious :D What did you think of their presents? (the next chapter will be her letter to Harry, by the way).
TPWK, always.
T.