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Jungkook’s POV
Silence consumed me as Chaeyoung stared at me while waiting for me to answer her question.
Did I say it out loud?
Since I woke up this morning, I’ve been reciting a mantra in my head.
It’s okay to be selfish.
After what happened last night, I was set in making things happen the way I’ve always wanted to. I’d be Chaeyoung’s go-to-person whether she was thinking the same way or not. I’d be her bodyguard even though she didn’t ask me to. I’d be her best friend although I’m sure that neither of the girls would give in without trouble. But somehow I knew I could do it because there’s no way I’m letting her slip my fingers now. Seven years was more than enough hiccup to mine and Chaeyoung’s love story.
I was saying the mantra in my head when I felt the courage to go see Chaeyoung in the apartment next to mine. And I said it even louder when I saw her woke-up-like-this look. It was breathtaking. She looked gorgeous despite the way her brows were knotted in the middle when she opened the door.
The expressions on her face when I kept on teasing her were even better. She could barely contain the emotions on her face which was why I liked teasing her, next to the obvious reason that I liked her and wanted to always have a reason to be close to her.
I kept on saying the same mantra when I talked her into the date and when I was preparing for it. I took out half of my clothes from my wardrobe because I wanted to impress her so badly. I didn’t think it would take me that much time to prepare for an impromptu date. Good thing Chaeyoung took longer than I did or she’d most likely bail out before the date even started.
The mantra was helping to keep me calm the whole time until she asked me the question.
“You think I’m selfish, don’t you?”
I realized I didn’t say it out loud when I felt the dryness of my throat. I haven’t spoken a word since we started eating because I was afraid I’d say something not appropriate, yet. I already gave her dozens of hints about my feelings for her but it didn’t seem like she was catching it all. So I planned on being patient with her and wait for her to catch up with me. Then I would properly confess to her when I felt like it was time. For now, I’d be selfish and hoard all of her free time.
Did she mean the same thing I was feeling about being selfish? Because if she meant that she’d be selfish with me then I wouldn’t mind, not at all.
In the end, I decided to tease her by keeping quiet for a couple more seconds. Her lips were twitching in worry and anticipation.
Did she want to hear my answer that bad? Why?
I burst out laughing at her before I could help myself. But I realized that it was a wrong move when her face was beginning to turn red. At first I thought she was only blushing out of embarrassment or something. But the annoyance on her face was showing that it was definitely something else.
I swiftly stood up from my seat and rushed to her side. Crouching down to level with her, I spoke while looking directly on her eyes.
“Park . . .” I started to say before I gulped. And I wasn’t thinking when I added the words I said next. “You can be selfish all you want as long you’re selfish only with me. Be selfish with me. I really wouldn’t mind.”
She stared back at me in response. I knew neither what she was thinking nor what she was feeling because she was putting on a poker face. But I was glad when I noticed the redness of her face beginning to disappear. Perhaps she was calming down. I hoped.
When I felt a strong flick right in the middle of my forehead, I would have cussed because it actually hurt. But if it meant that Chaeyoung was not mad at me then everything was right in the world. I playfully winced and scrunched my face at her.
“What was that about?” She exclaimed and gently pushed me by the head. “Will you please go back to your seat now? We’re already starting to get the looks from other customers.”
“Nah. Let them look. I don’t mind that too.” I shrugged my shoulders while still crouching down and looking at her.
“But I do. So please?” She requested in her soft pleading voice.
Right then, I thought that if she kept on using that voice on me I might give her the world if she’d ask. All she needed to do was ask and I’d do anything for her. As proof, I hurriedly went back to my seat and we both continued eating, trying to act as if nothing happened a minute ago.
An hour later, I was carrying three shopping bags and Chaeyoung was pulling me into another store. We went to the mall after we had our early lunch. I should have expected it. After all Chaeyoung, like most women, was fond of shopping.
Normally, I would be complaining after an hour of shopping. But I was never normal around Chaeyoung. I’ve always acted a bit extra with her, more cheerful, active and playful because I only wanted to cheer her up. But at times I’m also, unfortunately, the dumbest when I’m with her because my feelings get ahead of me and I couldn’t think straight. Like today, I still had a broad smile on my face despite my exhaustion in following her around the mall.
I never really understood the indecisiveness of women when it came to shopping. Chaeyoung and I already visited five shops in total but it took her an hour to buy two pairs of earrings, a small handbag and a bucket hat.
Now she was looking at the rows of dresses with her eyes twinkling in delight while I was sitting on a bench not too far from her, contentedly looking at her excited state. And I felt my weariness disappearing by the minute. She picked two dresses and went inside the fitting room after looking at me as if silently telling me where she was headed, making my heart do a somersault. I responded with a short nod, glad that she was far enough to see me blushing.
If we’re actually together, aren’t I behaving like a good boyfriend? She’s lucky. But I’d be luckier when that happens.
I was busying myself with a game on my phone, my head bent down and my eyes glued on the screen, when I felt a light tap on my head. I shifted my gaze to a tempting pair of legs right before my eyes.
Nothing’s official yet but you’re not about to cheat on Chaeyoung, are you, Jungkook?
I gulped a lump on my throat before I went back to my game. When I felt a kick on my leg, I quickly looked up to frown at the culprit. But my frown was immediately wiped out when I saw Chaeyoung standing in front of me in a checkered mini dress. I’ve seen her in dresses before but it was the first time I saw her in one since we saw each other again. And she still looked good in it. Too good that the man who walked passed us kept on eyeing her that he almost bumped into a clothing rack.
I groaned in annoyance and picked up the shopping bags after shoving my phone inside my pocket. I looked at Chaeyoung up and down one more time and knew that I couldn’t blame the man’s reaction earlier. Nonetheless, I was still displeased.
“Why did you pick this one?” I whined while standing up and continued with a visible pout on my face. “It’s too short. You are exposing your gorgeous legs for everyone to see.”
She chuckled. “I nearly punched you after I heard you nitpicking me in this dress. Good thing you pointed out my ‘gorgeous’ legs. That saved you.” She smirked at me before walking back to the fitting room. “I’m definitely buying this dress. I loved your reaction to it.”
I grumbled as I walked after her. I waited for her right outside the fitting room because I didn’t want anyone else to witness her stunning beauty.
Again, it’s okay to be selfish.
I forgot to breathe after she walked out of the fitting room in another dress. It was a black fitted one.
“Jeon!” She called while shaking my body.
It successfully freed me from getting under the spell of her beauty. But I was still looking at her with my jaw dropped open in awe. I wanted to speak but words left my mouth the moment I saw her.
Chaeyoung in a dress is danger waiting to happen. This is trouble, for me, at least.
“So what do you think?” She asked.
“I, uh . . . I can’t even think.” I stupidly answered in all honesty before I realized it.
She giggled and went back to the fitting room.
A few minutes after, she went out in her regular clothes in which she looked just as beautiful. She was wearing a black crop top and light-blue high waist jeans. She walked towards the clothing rack and put back the dresses. Then she thanked the attendant and walked out of the store, leaving me behind.
“Park!” I called after her. “You’re not buying the dresses?” I asked in bewilderment.
“Nope.” She nonchalantly answered. “I only tried them on to spite you.” She smirked and walked ahead.
If she only knew.
I caught up to her and put my arm around her shoulders. She squinted at me but didn’t bother to do anything with my arm on her, making me sigh in relief.
We went to the movie theater because she wanted to watch the new animated movie. And I almost thought that I was chaperoning a kid instead of going on a date with the girl I liked. When the movie was about to start, I clearly saw the excitement on her face that was too similar to those of the kids who were sitting beside us. I could only smile in amusement at her.
After watching the movie, I dragged her to a hardware store. I remembered that she didn’t have her emergency kit yet so I tried to buy one for her but she insisted on paying for it.
“I should have paid for it.” I grumbled.
“No way! I will be the one who is going to use it so there’s no way I’m letting you pay.” She said and added in a soft whisper “It’s not as if . . .”
“You were saying?” I asked, hoping that she would finish what she was about to say.
“Nothing.” She answered, brushing me off.
Then she turned to me with a grin on her face.
“Now here’s the real deal. I actually brought you here for this.”
“For what?”
“We’re here to do grocery shopping.” She cheered while pointing to the grocery store behind her. “Let’s go!”
“Park.” I stopped, not allowing her to pull me inside the store.
It was not that I didn’t want to go. I only thought that a man had to have some pride. No matter how willing I was to do anything with her, I should at least act that I needed some persuading at times. And my act was probably too believable that it became advantageous for me during dinner.
We went to a samgyeopsal restaurant and she was very attentive to me the entire time. She was cooking all the meat and putting the cooked ones on my plate. One time, she even fed me a wrap that she made herself.
“Now wasn’t I right when I told you that I won’t be whining about today’s date?” I proudly told her after I helped her bring everything we bought from the mall to her apartment.
“Yeah, right. You gave me a hard time pulling you to the grocery store.” She grumbled.
“But I didn’t say a word about it and we successfully bought everything you needed. I was even helpful in reaching for the things that were placed on the topmost shelf. Then I carried most of the things we bought today for you. Plus, I gave you a dress that you’re only allowed to wear when we’re together.” I explained.
“Pfft! Then what was the point in buying me the dress if I can only wear it when I’m with you?” She asked while scrunching her face at me.
I answered, “It’s for you to dress up freely without worrying about men looking at you indecently.”
She quickly turned her back at me as I noticed her cheeks turning red.
“When did you even buy this?”
“I bought it during dinner while we were waiting for our table to be ready. Remember when I told you that I’ll be going to the restroom?”
“Oh, yeah. So that is why you took a while and was out of breath when you came back.” She pondered. “But I didn’t see you carrying anything when you took the seat in front of me.”
“That’s because I’m a ninja and you’re not too observant.” I grinned at her.
“You’re never going to let me win. Are you?”
“Nope, especially on this one. I don’t want you to think that I did not enjoy our first date. I had so much fun today, Park. Thank you!”
“First date, huh? You make it sound like there’s going to be a second.”
“Not only that. There’s going to be lots more that you wouldn’t be able to track how many dates we’ve had.”
She chuckled. “That’s silly. Now it’s time for you to go.” She pushed me out of her apartment, just like how she did this morning.
“Why do you love pushing me out? Am I that of a nuisance to you?” I asked, not only meaning the way she pushed me out of her apartment. But I wanted to ask her reluctance to recognize the feelings that we could have for each other.
Was I wrong to assume she liked me the same way I thought she did seven years ago?
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