Finding myself

By Just_for_a_change

692K 36.6K 15.7K

IIHighest rank no: 3II What are the repercussions of a rejection? 1. Getting numb 2. Failing to care about a... More

Legend
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
A/N
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY!
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
IMPORTANT!!!
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
So sorry!(Yes this is another one of those dingy notes)
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Notice
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Please read
Happy new year
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
IMPORTANT
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Please read
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Important
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Chapter 88
Chapter 89
Chapter 90
Chapter 91
Chapter 92
Chapter 93
Chapter 94
Chapter 95
Chapter 96
Chapter 97
Chapter 98
Chapter 99
Chapter 100
Chapter 101
Chapter 102
Chapter 103
Chapter 104
Chapter 105
Chapter 106
Chapter 107
Chapter 108
Chapter 109
Chapter 110
Chapter 111
Chapter 112
Chapter 113
Chapter 114
Chapter 115
Chapter 116
Chapter 117
Chapter 118
Chapter 119
Chapter 120
Chapter 121
Chapter 122
Epilogue
Q&A

Chapter 72

3.6K 200 61
By Just_for_a_change


I looked at Jake assessing him. He looked nervous.

I vaguely remembered Drake saying something about him seeing me as a potential partner or something.

And that Jason got really agitated when he came next to me.

Drake asked me to let him down gently as he seemed to have some fancy notions.

I wouldn't prefer to do this now, especially after fighting with my mutt of a mate.

But oh well, as good a time as any other I guess.

Besides my mood was pretty much the same every day, just different shade of the same emotions-

Anger, irritation, agitation, frustration, the need to beat someone up and the need to kill someone(most of the time Blaze, closely followed by Jason.)

So he might have caught me at a better time in my spectrum of emotions.

He cleared his throat, bringing me out of my reverie.

"I... think you are my mate.: he blurted out.

What! 

Of all the things, that was unexpected. I almost let my mouth hang open.

"Second chance mate!" He said, correcting himself almost immediately.

Ok, now he was just being ridiculous.

I rolled my eyes reaching for the door again.

"Wait." He said, jamming himself between my door and myself.

Now he was just asking for it.

"Look I know this sounds crazy but I honestly feel a connection with you. Don't you feel it too?" He asked me with a pleading look.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe it's late for you." He mumbled rubbing his neck with a spoilt expression on his face.

Wait... is this what I think it is?

Does he...?

"Or it's just a crush," I said with a smirk.

"WHAT?" He asked a blush blooming on his face.

"No, it's, it's..." he said frantically.

"Tell me, have you had a crush before?" I teased.

"Of course I have, I am always with the ladies!" He defended.

"You are with the ladies I know that but that's not my question, I am asking have you ever had a crush before?"

"Um... " He trailed off as if trying really hard to remember if he had that sort of attention on someone.

That settles it then.

No wonder Drake calls him naive!

This idiot mistook a crush for a mate-bond. There is a multitude of differences between them both!

His mate would have to appear for him to understand.

I sighed pushing him away. Standing here in this bikini was awful. Especially since I was wet. And had sand in places I didn't it could be in.

Thanks to Blaze pushing me down.

"But even if that's the case, Zara, I am willing to be with you." He said stopping me in my tracks.

"We could be a team, you and I. A power couple of sorts." He wiggled his eyebrows.

And Jake was back to his normal self.

"And your mate won't be too pleased when she is here," I said.

"If she is here. And if it's you it wouldn't be too bad." He said almost shyly.

Must be the pick-up line he uses with most girls.

That's when I caught my mate's scent in the air.

He was here. AGAIN. 

So irritating!

But he wasn't approaching us. He was behind the cottage next to us.

Probably listening in.

Stupid mutt.

Couldn't give me peace of mind even for a few seconds!

"Look, Jake, it's never gonna happen between us. So I suggest you get over your little crush. And whether the fact that your mate is somewhere out there is none of my concern, nor the fact that she appears anytime soon. All I know is that I am not a home-wrecker. Just because my mate bond fell apart doesn't mean yours should too. And believe me, however much you like me if we get together and she shows up, you will be torn. That's just how it is." I told my speech.

He had a range of emotions while I spoke. He opened his mouth to refute.

"Mate-bond is a beautiful thing, trust me. " I interrupted him.

"And it's worth the wait," I said shivering as a wind passed by us.

My mate bond had a pleasant feeling to it. Blaze liked what I just spoke. Can he be more lame?

I just said that to appease the idiot in front of me. And another idiot fell for it too.

I wanted to facepalm myself.

Jake had noticed my tremble as he immediately offered me his t-shirt. I could feel the sudden tension in the mate bond. His Moodswings! He was pissed.

 AGAIN. That didn't take much. Besides, being angry all the time was my thing. Or it's a wolf thing, I don't know. 

I did not have the energy to deal with anymore Blaze for today. I pushed Jake's hand away.

Partly because I didn't want him to get beaten up for doing something nice and partly because it was his fault I was standing here soaking wet with nothing but a two-piece in front of my cottage.

I nodded at him and turned to open the door.

He looked like a heart-broken puppy. But I meant what I said and I was glad I got it over with.

He shouldn't throw away a chance at happiness because of me.

The thought surprised me.

If Jake had told me this when I arrived I probably would have said yes. 

Not to actually be with him but to break his heart.

To hurt him.

And I would have egged on a fight between him and my mate even if it would be obvious who the winner is.

It surprised me how much I had changed... or grown.

Did I really care about these people?

That being said I still wanted my mate to suffer. There were no qualms to that.

But the rest of the gang, my feelings towards them had shifted, slowly.

Without my realizing.

Sissy.

My wold scoffed and I rolled my eyes.

I was more gentle towards them... subconsciously.

I would have lashed out at them already for all the drama they caused if this was the beginning.

But a part of me understood that they cared for me. And a part of me cared for them too.

I leaned on the closed door, covering my eyes.

I could feel Blaze standing behind the door. What is his obsession with the door? Sometime through my little realization, he had come to stand behind me.

I could feel Xavier through the bond.

He was dying to touch me, be in contact with me or see me. He was contemplating breaking through the door.

Hormonal wolf.

Especially after Jake's display. I thought he would beat him up. Especially when Jake had offered me his shirt for the cold.

This was all too much.

My mate was too much. These people were too much. Their expectations, the way they looked at me. How I was starting to care for them!

It was all too much!

I felt a panic attack rise in me.

I fought to keep my heart rate and breathing in check as I didn't want my mate to suspect the spike. Lest he would interfere. Again.

I felt like I needed space. I needed air.

Everything was suffocating me suddenly.

I...

I need to getaway.


Hey lovelies.

So did you like it?

Our Zara is going through some changes- emotionally and mentally.

And she is glad that you are here to see it all.

Zara: No I am not. It's embarrassing what you are putting me through.

She is just kidding, she appreciates your presence.

So dear readers, stay tuned for the next update.

What do you think she will do?

Comment below and let me know what you think.

I shall see you all next Tuesday.

Cheers.

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