Chapter 1 - The beginning of my end
He's been acting strange for a long while and I have no idea why. It's progressively gotten worse, prominently showing in the little things I always cherished deeply.
No more back hugs.
No more kiss goodbyes.
No more spontaneous phone calls in the ungodly hours of the night.
No more...us.
All I do throughout the days of the week is ponder what went wrong. What did go wrong? The fact that I can't even pinpoint an event or conversation that may have caused his vague disassociation with me is frustrating to the point where I cry myself to sleep.
All because I see myself as the problem. Shit. Maybe I am.
I tried talking to him about it.
Multiple times.
But he blew me off.
So I suppose to him, communication isn't key in a relationship. Yet, we've been together for two years.
The spark that was there in the beginning had dimmed down somewhere along the way, getting lost in the crowd of "shit happens."
Even though I don't feel the heat of that single spark that had set off bundles of fireworks between us, I still believe it's there.
Hiding.
Pleading.
Begging.
To be reignited.
Does he even love me anymore? Is there a purpose for him to just sit in front of me as if we are the power couple of the century?
I don't know.
But as I gaze at his perfect side profile while he just lazily watches my TV - not even bothering to cuddle or have a real conversation with me - I feel my chest tighten, my throat constrict, and tears threatening to flow down my face.
Because I know, as we sit in this quiet and tense atmosphere, we lost what I thought we would always have.
So I bite my lip, swallow my sorrow, and slowly turn my head to the TV.
I don't know why I never took this as a sign. I don't know why I prolonged it.
That's a lie.
I know why.
I was still so in love with you.
Yet you didn't care.