Here's an update for ya......just a filler chapter but hopefully still good none the less :)
Song in here belongs to Automatic Loveletter......just using it for fictional purposes!
Enjoy!
Tyler's P.O.V:
After about an hour of deciding whether I wanted to get out of bed today I got up with a groan and trudged to the bathroom. I gazed at my reflection in the mirror and couldn't help but feel a little ashamed at myself. I felt like a failure, a quitter for giving up on school. I rested my hands on the sink and tried to reason with myself inside of my head. This is what happens when your head and heart are in conflict......
My head was telling me that I should have stuck it out, I should have got my shit together and pulled my grades out of the toilet because in order to get a job I needed a college degree.
But my heart......my heart wasn't in it. My heart was telling me that I didn't know what I wanted with my life anymore. My heart was so unsure of everything; well, almost everything.
The only thing I knew for sure was how much I was in love with Austin. And right now that was oddly enough to quiet my mind for the time being.
I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair up into a messy bun. I didn't bother to change out of my pajamas though. I grabbed my phone and my notebook and my favorite pen and made my way downstairs. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and decided to explore a little; I hadn't seen any other part of his house besides the living room, the kitchen, and his bedroom, and I couldn't help but be a tad bit curious. I walked through the kitchen to the other side of the house where there was another living-room type area. There was a pool table and a big tv with a bunch of gaming systems, but that's not at all what caught my eye. It was something else that drew me in.
In the corner of the room sat a beautiful baby grand piano. I couldn't help but take a seat at the bench. I lifted the cover away from the keys and ran my fingers over the shiny ivory. It had been so long since I'd played an actual piano. I was probably still in high school at the time. After the accident with my parents I ended up selling it because it brought back too many memories. Now all I had was a shitty keyboard that sounded like dying cats.
I positioned my foot over the pedals and began to play without even thinking about it; it all came flooding back to me like I had never stopped playing. I had learned to play piano when I was 5 years old, way before I learned the guitar. I used to play in recitals when I was a kid, but as I grew up I played more for recreational purposes, and when I was 15 I wrote my very first song, music and lyrics, at that piano that we had in our basement.
I finished up the piece that I was playing, one of my favorite Beethoven pieces, and sat there grinning to myself like an idiot. It all felt so good, so right. I took a drink of my water and cleared my head as I sat staring out the big window in front of me at the Hollywood Hills. As I stared I began to think up a melody in my mind; I could practically picture myself pressing each key, the notes filling the room.
I've never understood why or how it comes so easily to me, writing music. I started to play along with the melody in my mind, making a few minor changes here and there until I had a song.....well an instrumental version of one. The lyrics were usually a little harder for me, especially figuring out where to start. Once I felt inspired they poured out of me, though.
My mind drifted to my brother, to the harsh words we had exchanged yesterday. Part of me was still angry, still fuming about the things he had said to me. But there was another part that just wanted to hug him and tell him that I loved him. The lyrics started to flow and I grabbed my notebook and moved down to the floor, crossing my legs under me. I spent the next hour writing and rewriting, humming along as I jotted down my thoughts and feelings on this blank slate. I made my way to the piano and just as I started to play I heard Austin making his way down the hallway to where I was.....not so quietly either. I stood up from the piano and crawled under the pool table to hide. I saw him walk into the room and look around for me, his body language expressing confusion. He walked right past where I was and I reached out and grabbed his leg and to my amusement he screamed a little, sending me into a fit of laughter.
"Good Lord, Tyler. You scared the shit out of me!" He was laughing a little as he tried to catch his breath and I climbed out from under the pool table and stood in front of him. I put my hand on his face and leaned in.
"Payback's a bitch, dear," I said smirking before I pulled away from him. He laughed a little more and pulled me into a hug.
"I guess I did deserve that." I shrugged my shoulders a little and smiled. He leaned down and kissed me longingly and I eargerly kissed him back. He pulled away after a while and looked at me. "I didn't know you played the piano."
"Yeah well I'm chock full of surprises!" I responded sarcastically and he chuckled at me. I walked back over to the piano and sat down and he sat next to me.
"Play me something," he stated and I smirked to myself before playing the first thing that came to my mind: Jingle Bells. I started to play the Christmas carol and he laughed at me and shook his head as he facepalmed himself.
"Okay smartass," he laughed and I stopped playing and looked at him.
"Hey, you just said play something. You didn't specifiy that it couldn't be the best Christmas song of all time!" I smirked up at him and he kissed my nose and I scrunched it up in response. I leaned against him and gazed out the window.
"Ooo what's this?" He questioned as he reached for my notebook.
"No!" I grabbed it and yanked it out of his hands and he gave me a weird look, raising his eyebrow's at me. "It's nothing, just a song I was working on but it's not done yet."
"Play it for me?" He asked sweetly. I opened my mouth to protest but he pouted his lip out at me. He knew I couldn't resist the pout. "Please? Pretty please?"
"Austin, it's not that good. I just wrote it today I haven't even had a chance to see if it all works together yet," I replied and he just looked at me.
"I'm not going to judge you, baby," he said giving me a small smile.
"Ugh, fine. But! Don't laugh if it's horrible. Annnnddd.....I get to pick a movie for us to watch tonight!" I stated my terms and he nodded in agreement with them. He moved off of the bench and pulled a chair over and sat in it, watching me intently. "You're making me nervous staring at me like that," I said and he just smiled. I shut my eyes to block him out and aligned my fingers with the keys. After a deep breath I began to play, not even looking at the words I had written earlier; I was winging it, seeing what else would come to mind.
I wanna run away to somewhere far and somewhere safe
So scared of this place cause you don't even know me
And you don't even care that I've been lonely
And tired of fighting in the den of the lions
When I won't give up trying
In the dead of the night I weep, early morning and I still haven't got some sleep
Call me crazy, call me baby, you can call me weak cause you don't even know
No, you don't even know that the weight of the world on me
I've been there and back again and it seems to me
That a promise isn't something you keep
And a secret never lies it only sees what you see
Cause it's a cruel cruel ride, and if you want to come inside
You better sit up and shut your eyes and hold on for dear life
Cause if you don't then you will surely lose your mind, but I won't
I wanna hide my face, I wanna find the strength to get through this, oh I know I can do it
It's the taste in my mouth, it's the nauseousness in my stomach forming cascades of gunshots
Leaving me holding a pen and this page and these words filled with rage
In the dead of the night I weep, early morning and I still haven't got some sleep
Call me crazy, call me baby, you can call me weak cause you don't even know
Cause it's a cruel cruel ride, and if you want to come inside
You better sit up and shut your eyes and hold on for dear life
Cause if you don't then you will surely lose your mind, but I won't, I wont
Oh, can anyone hear me
Oh, can anyone know me
Oh, can anyone hear me
Oh, can anyone love me
Oh, can anyone, can anyone hear me
Cause it's a cruel cruel ride, and if you want to come inside
You better sit up and shut your eyes and hold on for dear life
Cause if you don't then you will surely lose your mind, but I won't.
I finished the song and reluctantly looked over at Austin. He stood up and came and sat next to me. He grabbed my face with his hands and looked into my eyes.
"Ty, that was beautiful." I gave him a smug smile and he winked at me. I leaned in and kissed him, my hands moving to his face, his never leaving mine. I pulled away and gave him a few more pecks before sitting back. I got up and grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "Where are we going?" he asked laughing a little.
"We gotta go get some movies!" I said excitedly, smirking at him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into him.
"Oh yeah? What're we watching this evening?" He asked.
"Oh I have a few ideas," I said dramatically, running away from him and up the stairs to change.
"That doesn't sound good," he responded laughing as he chased after me. He grabbed me by the waist and tossed me down on the bed, hovering over me. "I love you," he said. I smiled widely and when he leaned in for a kiss I licked his cheek and pushed him off of me, getting up from the bed swiftly. I looked over to see him laughing as he wiped at my spit on his face.
"I love you too," I said, sticking my tongue out at him as I grabbed a change of clothes and shut myself in the bathroom.
My stomach was swirling with butterflies as I looked at my blushed cheeks in the mirror. Yeah, my heart was right about this one.