Chapter 11 / Yibo The truth is...
A typical situation when I have an idea of what I want to write next. Dog (Jet) and tomcat (Yizhan) romp through the apartment. Hunting each other, growling, hissing and never missing an opportunity to include my legs. And then my 19 year old son who asks me to do this or that. In the next room he can be heard talking to friends over his headset. And I sit at the computer and try to concentrate. Ha-Ha-Ha
Just a few minutes after the painkiller started working, Zhan fell asleep again. Yibo pulled him towards him and held him in his arms. Yibo had been warned that Zhan had attacks from time to time, but how violent they were, he hadn't guessed that. "How am I supposed to make it up to you?" He mumbled to himself and then fell asleep again. Now that he had Zhan back and could hold him in his arms, he was just tired and wanted to sleep.
When an ambulance with siren and blue light drove by close to the house, Yibo woke up with a beating heart. He looked around confused and calmed down as he saw Zhan still sleeping in his arms. "I'm still here." Whispered Zhan. Only then did Yibo realize how tightly he had pressed Zhan to himself. "I'm sorry, I was scared." Yibo said stuttering. "Do you need anything? Are you hungry or thirsty? When do you have to take the next medication?" Yibo wanted to know. Yibo helped Zhan sit up. Zhan looked at the watch and said, "I won't have to take anything again for another hour. Now I'd like to go to the bathroom first." Zhan replied.
Yibo stood up and ignored Zhan's protest and carried him to the bathroom. "Yibo, you could have put me in the wheelchair, too." Said Zhan after Yibo put him on the edge of the bathtub. "I'll help you OK? The doctor said your wound must not get wet and needs a fresh bandage every day". Yibo explained to him. Yibo was afraid to see the gunshot wound he had inflicted on him, he didn't know if he would be ready to see it. But he ignored his own concerns and helped Zhan take off his shirt. He took off the old bandage and froze at the sight of the large wound on Zhan's chest.
Zhan was visibly uncomfortable as Yibo stared at his chest and handed Yibo a washcloth. "Make it a little fresh first." He said to Yibo and ripped him out of his rigid one. Yibo washed Zhan's upper body and then put a new bandage on him. Yibo wanted to help Zhan take off his pants and wash him in the genital area. Zhan grabbed his wrist. "I can do the rest myself, thank you." Said Zhan and let go of his wrist when Yibo nodded. "Let me know when you're done, I'll get you out of here." He said and left the bathroom with his head down.
Yibo sat on his bed waiting for Zhan to call him. He fought against the urge to go back to the bathroom and ignore Zhan's wish. After all, he's his husband, so why shouldn't he see him naked? Why wouldn't Zhan let him help him? There was nothing he hadn't seen before. After twenty minutes Zhan finally called him. He almost ran into the bathroom and carried Zhan, who had also changed his clothes immediately, back into bed. "Why didn't you want my help?" Yibo asked him thoughtfully. "Ah, that's nothing against you. But I don't think I'm that far yet." Zhan replied with a fake smile.
Yibo hated that fake smile but said nothing and tried to stay calm and understand Zhan. Even though it was very hard for him, he would respect Zhan's wishes and wait until he was ready to let him get closer again. Yibo picked out the CD that Zhan had picked out and sung along to when he played it. He turned on the stereo and played the CD, but Zhan didn't react. Instead, he looked at Yibo questioningly. "Who shot me?" Zhan just asked out and Yibo, who had sat down next to Zhan on the bed, didn't move.
"The truth is... that was me." He said quietly, but loud enough for Zhan to understand. "Why?" Zhan asked him. Yibo swallowed the bitter bile that gathered in his throat. He stood up from the bed and sat down on a chair standing at a small table. "I wanted to prevent someone from my family from killing you. After learning that you were a special agent and undercover with us, they wanted you dead. I couldn't let them kill you. I wanted to save you, give you a chance to escape, but it went wrong. I didn't mean to hurt you like that. I aimed at your shoulder but..." Began to explain to Yibo.
Yibo looked horrified at Zhan, who was now pointing a weapon at him. "What was that again? Oh yes, my hands should tremble, my eyes tears and I should try to aim at your shoulder, but miss my target and only miss your heart by an inch. You would feel the bullet penetrating your flesh, leaving a burning pain and you could feel it still inside you. You can feel warm blood leaving your body and soaking your clothes in red. You should have hit a centimeter to the right, then the bullet would have landed in my heart and I would have been buried long ago." Zhan, who had had enough of this game, replied bitterly.
Yibo stared at the gun in Zhan's hand. "You remember?" He asked shocked. "Of course. I remember everything!" Zhan said angrily. "Zhan, I didn't want to kill you, I wanted to save you. I wanted you to escape and be safe, I'm sorry." Yibo said crying. "Why didn't you just kill me?" Zhan asked him and consciously ignored the crying Yibo. "I-I didn't want to kill you because I love you. I love you more than anything Zhan." Yibo replied. "Then why did you shoot me and not just send me away?" Zhan wanted to know. "Because I had to assume that my father had us followed to make sure I wouldn't let you go." Explained Yibo.
"What do you think I should do with you now? Surrender you to my agency? After all, you almost killed me. You would then see your brother again in prison, because they caught him this morning. What should I do Yibo?" Zhan asked him. "That is up to you. Do whatever you want. You have every right, even if you shoot me now." Yibo replied seriously. "That would be too easy. Letting you be imprisoned or killing you would mean you can't prove to me that you're really sorry. No Yibo, you don't get off that easy. I could shoot you and give you a little taste of your medicine and then I tell you it's for your protection." Zhan said bitter and laughed.
Yibo stood up, spread out his arms and pointed to his body. "Shoot. Just do it when it makes you feel better." He said very seriously.
What's Zhan gonna do? Will he really want to shoot Yibo?
How will Yibo prove his remorse?