CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE AND MAJOR ANGST
💭
quick note - please, please don't read this chapter if you're not in the mood for strong angst or tears. i'm warning you now. please, consider this warning and read at your own risk. thank you so much, guys.
—
TWITTER CHAT
taestits
JUNGKOOK
i'm so sick of this
JUNGKOOK
i'm so tired of this
TAEHYUNG
of what, angel?
JUNGKOOK
of living
TAEHYUNG
oh
TAEHYUNG
why would you say that? :(
JUNGKOOK
everyday feels like a struggle
JUNGKOOK
i'm so sick of pretending everything
is okay when it's not
JUNGKOOK
i'm so sick of using this fake act
to make myself appear better
JUNGKOOK
i'm so sick of being in the public
eye all the time
JUNGKOOK
i'm so sick of living
TAEHYUNG
angel :(
TAEHYUNG
i know it must be hard
TAEHYUNG
but you have to pull through it,
okay? for me?
TAEHYUNG
can you do that for me?
JUNGKOOK
i can't anymore, tae
JUNGKOOK
i need to stop pretending
TAEHYUNG
you should stop pretending and
just be yourself, koo
TAEHYUNG
but please don't do anything to
yourself
JUNGKOOK
does it ever go away?
TAEHYUNG
what?
JUNGKOOK
the pain
JUNGKOOK
does it ever go away?
TAEHYUNG
if i'm being honest, i don't know
TAEHYUNG
i hope so
JUNGKOOK
i can't live on hope, tae
TAEHYUNG
i really wish it stopped for you
TAEHYUNG
i really do
JUNGKOOK
i do, too
JUNGKOOK
but it's never gonna stop
JUNGKOOK
i've dug myself too deep
JUNGKOOK
i'll never climb back out now
TAEHYUNG
please just answer me this
TAEHYUNG
truthfully
TAEHYUNG
and i want you to take my advice
into consideration
JUNGKOOK
sure?
TAEHYUNG
i know you still love jihoon
TAEHYUNG
probably more than you love me
TAEHYUNG
which is completely fine because i
can't stop how you feel
TAEHYUNG
but, if you do, please just admit it
TAEHYUNG
it'll be best for the both of us
JUNGKOOK
promise not to get mad?
TAEHYUNG
i promise
TAEHYUNG
at this point, anything you say won't
hurt me
TAEHYUNG
i've been hurt so much, so it's all i feel
at this point
JUNGKOOK
i do
JUNGKOOK
i still love him, a lot
JUNGKOOK
and i can't stop myself
TAEHYUNG
it's okay, angel
TAEHYUNG
i'm glad you admitted it
TAEHYUNG
so, will you listen to my advice?
JUNGKOOK
yeah :(
TAEHYUNG
be with him
TAEHYUNG
be with jihoon, okay?
TAEHYUNG
he makes you happy
TAEHYUNG
you clearly love him
TAEHYUNG
so, please, just be with him
TAEHYUNG
for me, okay?
TAEHYUNG
it will let me rest easier
JUNGKOOK
i can't, tae
TAEHYUNG
why not?
JUNGKOOK
because
JUNGKOOK
i love both of you equally
JUNGKOOK
i can't pick
TAEHYUNG
oh
—
– </3
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TWITTER CHAT
taestits
TAEHYUNG
angel
TAEHYUNG
you can't love both of us
TAEHYUNG
you have to pick one of us
TAEHYUNG
and the best person to choose is
jihoon
JUNGKOOK
it's not
JUNGKOOK
i can love you both
JUNGKOOK
i know i can
JUNGKOOK
seokjin, yoongi and namjoon do it
JUNGKOOK
and they get on fine without
any arguments
JUNGKOOK
we can do it
TAEHYUNG
we can't, angel
TAEHYUNG
i'm sorry
TAEHYUNG
i wish i had a different answer, but
i just don't
TAEHYUNG
you have to forget about me
JUNGKOOK
i can't do that, tae
JUNGKOOK
you know i can't
JUNGKOOK
that isn't fair
TAEHYUNG
nothing in life is always going
to be fair, koo
TAEHYUNG
but this is something you have to do
TAEHYUNG
just be with jihoon, okay? please
TAEHYUNG
please
JUNGKOOK
how can you hand me over so
easily, tae? was i not good enough?
TAEHYUNG
you were more than enough
TAEHYUNG
but i'm looking forward here
TAEHYUNG
into our futures and what they hold
TAEHYUNG
i don't think our future will
keep us together
TAEHYUNG
and i'm sorry
JUNGKOOK
are you saying what i think you're
saying?
JUNGKOOK
please don't do this
TAEHYUNG
it's better for the both of us
TAEHYUNG
please just be with jihoon
TAEHYUNG
please
JUNGKOOK
please
JUNGKOOK
i can't
TAEHYUNG
you can, koo. i know you can
TAEHYUNG
you're strong
TAEHYUNG
you're brave
TAEHYUNG
i know you can get through
anything that blocks your path
TAEHYUNG
i know you can
JUNGKOOK
i can't
JUNGKOOK
i'm not strong anymore
JUNGKOOK
i'm weak and helpless
JUNGKOOK
my future holds nothing for me
JUNGKOOK
it's empty
JUNGKOOK
i want a new life
JUNGKOOK
i want to run away
JUNGKOOK
with you
TAEHYUNG
we can't, angel
TAEHYUNG
we just can't
TAEHYUNG
okay?
JUNGKOOK
well, why not?
JUNGKOOK
please just give me one reason
TAEHYUNG
i don't need to
TAEHYUNG
we both know it will never happen
TAEHYUNG
to make your future brighter and
more hopeful, you need to be with
someone who makes you happy
TAEHYUNG
and that's jihoon
JUNGKOOK
it's not
JUNGKOOK
it's you
TAEHYUNG
it's not me
TAEHYUNG
i can't be with you
TAEHYUNG
i need help, koo
TAEHYUNG
you need help
JUNGKOOK
i know i do
JUNGKOOK
but nothing works
JUNGKOOK
therapy didn't do anything
JUNGKOOK
locking myself in the bathroom
and crying my eyes out helped me more
TAEHYUNG
please just listen to me
TAEHYUNG
please, jungkook
TAEHYUNG
i'm begging you
TAEHYUNG
just listen to me
JUNGKOOK
no
JUNGKOOK
i can't, tae
JUNGKOOK
please don't leave me
JUNGKOOK
i don't think i can take it
TAEHYUNG
you'll be strong
TAEHYUNG
you can do it, koo. i know you can
TAEHYUNG
this hurts for me, too
JUNGKOOK
then don't do it
JUNGKOOK
i'm sorry
TAEHYUNG
don't apologise
TAEHYUNG
it's not your fault
TAEHYUNG
it never is
TAEHYUNG
but please be with jihoon, okay?
TAEHYUNG
i need help
TAEHYUNG
please
JUNGKOOK
i love you
JUNGKOOK
i love you
JUNGKOOK
i love you so much
TAEHYUNG
i love you, too
TAEHYUNG
so fucking much
TAEHYUNG
you know i do
JUNGKOOK
i will never stop loving you, kim
taehyung
JUNGKOOK
if i ever suddenly vanish
JUNGKOOK
without a trace
JUNGKOOK
never forget
JUNGKOOK
that i love you with all my heart
and no one will ever replace you
TAEHYUNG
i know you do
TAEHYUNG
i love you so much
TAEHYUNG
you really do mean the world to me
TAEHYUNG
you've helped me through so much
TAEHYUNG
been there with me whenever i
needed you
TAEHYUNG
loved me like i love you
JUNGKOOK
i'm gonna miss you so much
JUNGKOOK
i'm gonna miss our late night
talks where we get drunk and end
up kissing for hours on end, ranting
about useless shit
TAEHYUNG
i'm gonna miss our long drives into
the countryside, blaring music and
laughing until we couldn't breathe
JUNGKOOK
i'm gonna miss our movie nights,
where we eat popcorn, cuddle on
the couch and make fun of the
shitty movie
TAEHYUNG
i'm gonna miss us
JUNGKOOK
i am, too
TAEHYUNG
we did good for a couple of hopeless
romantics, huh?
TAEHYUNG
what was it? like, a year and a bit?
JUNGKOOK
eleven months
JUNGKOOK
those eleven months were the
best months of my life
TAEHYUNG
me too
TAEHYUNG
they were really special to me
JUNGKOOK
fuck
JUNGKOOK
i'm gonna miss you so much
JUNGKOOK
this really hurts me
JUNGKOOK
it hurts so much
TAEHYUNG
i know it does
TAEHYUNG
it's hurting me, too
TAEHYUNG
but this is a good thing, okay?
TAEHYUNG
we're moving forward
JUNGKOOK
i know we are
JUNGKOOK
i just didn't expect it to hurt
as much as it is now
TAEHYUNG
i love you, jeon jungkook
JUNGKOOK
i love you even more, kim taehyung
—
– i've never loved someone as much as i have when i'm with you
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TWITTER CHAT
taestits
TAEHYUNG
i love you
JUNGKOOK
i love you, too
JUNGKOOK
so much, tae
TAEHYUNG
i'll see you around, koo
JUNGKOOK
you too, tae. you too
—
emotional