[no scripts, no plots, everything is absolutely spontaneous. where the story goes is completely dependent on the participants' ability to react to the situation, and of course, their acting skill is the key element to spice up the drama!]
[welcome to the final session of knowing bros with BTS and Red Velvet: THE SKIT!!]
_situation: high school students going on a blind date_
<Girl's team>
Red Velvet as themselves
Seo Janghoon as Seo Jangmi
Kim Heechul as Kim Heemi
<Boy's team>
BTS as themselves
the rest of Knowing Bros as themselves
_BEGIN_
(current location: a certain pub)
Jangmi: oh my~ i'm so nervous for this blind date!
Sooyoung: why? it is not like you're that attractive or something.
Seulgi: i feel you Jangmi. i wonder how the boys are gonna be like!
Yerim: question. i thought you are gay?
Seulgi: no you dumb sh*t why did you even think like that?
Heemi: okay girls calm down. Seungwan-ah, are they almost here?
Seungwan: Hoseok said they will arrive in a second, hang on.
Joohyun: wow, already late at the first meeting? bad impression, minus points.
Jangmi: ugh i bet everyone will just have their eyes on Joohyun, she is too pretty!
Sooyoung: no worries Jangmi, she sure is, but her age is a huge limit.
Joohyun: say one more line and you will literally be on a 'blind' date.
Sooyoung: i'm sorry mom.
Yerim: you forgot me Heemi, i'm the flower of our school too. all the boys who want to date me are always swarming the hallway just to enjoy my beauty.
Sooyoung: sounds like a zoo to me, and them boys are the visitors.
Yerim: hey don't look down on the animal kingdom!! we were once animal too!!!
Seulgi: you're still one, please evolve soon.
Hoseok: heeeey girls!!
Seungwan: here they are. over here Hobi!!
Boy's Team: hello, sorry we're late!
Joohyun: sure, you better be sorry.
Yoongi: excuse me who brought their mom here?
Jimin: preach hyung, preach.
Taehyung: sorry beautiful there was a heavy traffic on the highway. can i have the pleasure to make it up for you?
Joohyun: by what, babysitting you? i don't need a favor from a kid.
Namjoon: guys can we please sit down first? my sincere apologize girls.
Seulgi: it's fine, it wasn't that late anyway!
Jimin: oh god did i just see an angel.
Jungkook: no hyung you're not dead yet, come and sit down.
Seokjin: so, shall we start introducing ourselves? i'll go first, i'm Kim Seokjin, 17 years old, high school senior!
Sooyoung: you look like 27 not gonna lie.
Seokjin: i have a mature soul that's why. *wink*
Sooyoung: ew did you just wink??
Seokjin: sorry, my habit. i wink when i meet eyes. what's your name girl?
Sooyoung: Park Sooyoung the Third. 16, pride of the Royal Family.
Yerim: bullsh*t.
Sooyoung: sis which side are you on??!
Yerim: anything but your lame sh*t. hi my name is Kim Yerim aka Katy Kim, i'm 19.
Hoseok: 19?? the scenario is supposed to be high school meeting isn't it??
Yerim: i hate college so i decided to stay.
Taehyung: or you're just too stupid to graduate.
Jungkook: fact.
Yerim: don't mess with me i bite.
Namjoon: why Katy? are you perhaps a foreigner?
Yerim: oh my bad, i'm actually from the UK.
Jungkook: please, i can tell the only thing you could say in english is 'hello'.
Yerim: and 'f**k you' too, see? perfect accent and pronunciation.
Jungkook: this kid, i feel sorry for anyone who would unfortunately become your boyfriend.
Yerim: say the one who's falling head over heels for me, coconut head.
Jungkook: it's Jeon Jungkook.
Yerim: Jeon Justfook you headass.
Namjoon: okay calm down kids. hey girls, i'm Kim Namjoon, also a high school senior. nice to meet you all!
Sooyoung: okay next.
Namjoon: so rude. be with me i'll re-educate you.
Heemi: wow a new way to confess. i must learn from this.
Sooyoung: your teaching session will only downgrade my IQ so, next please.
Namjoon: how about we learn 'something else'?
Hoseok: stop your horny boy, hyung. hey guys, my name is Jung Hoseok, i'm friends with Wannie over here!
Yoongi: what the hell is Wannie? Winnie the Pooh's lost sister?
Seungwan: it is short for Son Seungwan, and that's a terrible joke mr. Ditto.
Yoongi: and it's Min Yoongi, miss Oversea.
Seulgi: okay we get it, mr. Tsundere & mrs. Nerd. remember to invite me to your wedding.
Seulgi: hello, i'm Kang Seulgi, 16 and a half—
Jimin: hello, i'm Park Jimin and i like you.
Taehyung: bro can you not—
Jimin: i actually agreed to be in this blind date because i heard you're going.
Seulgi: m-me?? t-that's so nice of you. how come?
Jimin: i've been watching you since grade 10th, you're so beautiful and talented and kind and—
Seungwan: ew, a stalker.
Jimin: may i ask what your type is?
Seulgi: mmm...i don't really have one. i like someone with a nice smile.
Jimin: that's definitely me!
Seokjin: r.i.p Jimin.
Jungkook: wrong move hyung, wrong move.
Seulgi: aww you're so cute!
Yerim: what the actual f**k—
Yoongi: someone get this girl a pair of glasses.
Taehyung: i also have the same question for this tiny milky friend over here.
Namjoon: who? Yoongi hyung? i didn't know you were gay.
Taehyung: no hyung! this girl here!
Joohyun: oooh you mean our Jangmi? as i recall she's not that tiny, maybe...6 ft 10?
Taehyung: no, it's you. YOU, missy.
Joohyun: me? what would you like to ask?
Taehyung: may i know your name?
Joohyun: it's Joohyun, Bae Joohyun, 17.
Taehyung: ahh, my Bae. i'm Kim Taehyung, 16. and your ideal type?
Joohyun: mmm...definitely not a kid, not someone who's too good looking, too tall, too polite, and not someone who has a rectangular smile.
Seungwan: long story short, everyone but you, buddy.
Taehyung: well you know, if girls say 'no', it means 'yes'. so, my pleasure, Bae.
Joohyun: sorry kid but i already have a fiancé.
All: ouch.
Taehyung: y-you do?? who is he??
Joohyun: you know Kim Bwi, the son of iPhone's CEO? that's my babe.
Seungwan: i didn't know Steve Jobs had a Korean son.
Taehyung: what's so good about that brat?? because he's rich?? i'm way better with you Joohyun.
Joohyun: sorry, wrong timing. i'm someone else's now.
Taehyung: but don't you remember that night?? we became one and worked together perfectly in sync! which proves that we belong to each other!
All: woahhh what's happening here??!
Joohyun: calm down guys we just played Overcooked on Nintendo Switch.
Namjoon: god blessed my dirty mind.
Sooyoung: Seungwan, how do you and Hoseok know each other? are you two perhaps a thing?
Seungwan: no no we're just frie—
Yoongi: NOPE. Hoseok and i are dating.
Seungwan: ?!!
Soogeun: oh lord where is this story going to...
Seungwan: s-since when??
Yoongi: since forever. you have no chance on either me, or him, miss oversea. but you look cute tho, i admit.
Joohyun: whipped.
Seungwan: woah hahahahahaha congrats!! you look good together i...guess? hahahha
Yoongi: actually we may look better tho, you wanna switch?
Sangmin: this is too chaotic...
Yerim: nice. i have something to confess too. me and Seulgi are also dating!
Jimin: ??!!
Yerim: sorry no jam buddy, have you never heard of YermSeul before?
Seulgi: it's fine Jimin i don't mind being bi~
Youngchul: holly molly this is going too far.
Jungkook: i know there's something wrong with this British chimpanzee.
Yerim: excuse me Jungle Book, i'd rather dating hot chicks than being one inch close to your rotten meat.
Sooyoung: but i remember you two f**ked in the ozone—
Yerim & Jungkook: CUT IT OUT!!!
Seokjin: why did this become a come-out party all of a sudden i'm so confused.
Sooyoung: i thought you and Namjoon were gay at first to be honest.
Jimin: tell me about it. i had my wattpad fanfic based on them if you're interested.
Namjoon: what the hell Jimin that's so gross.
Jimin: not really, the fans love it. in my book you guys were doing 'this' and 'that' and—
Sooyoung: send me the f**king link i'm down.
Joohyun: hide your kinky ass sis you're embarrassing me.
Sooyoung: said the one who spent a night with a guy only playing Overcooked. next time learn how to ride mom.
Joohyun: YAH we played 'My Riding Stables' too i rode a giant freaking horse!!
Sooyoung: aw pathetic.
Taehyung: she's right Joohyun you can practice more on me.
Joohyun: STOP SAYING INAPPROPRIATE AND MISUNDERSTANDING THINGS!!
Taehyung: okay okay i'm sorry i love you i'll let you win next time.
Joohyun: mark your words!
Taehyung: yes yes, everything for you.
Kyunghoon: the atmosphere is kinda awkward now shall we dance? the music is warming up!
Jungkook: show us your British dance, chimpanzee.
Yerim: chimpanzees swing on trees, so why don't you go up with me Jungle Book?
Jungkook: bring it on.
Seungwan: jesus christ this is getting weird.
Hodong: i never knew BTS and Red Velvet were a mess.
Jimin: welcome to the zoo, hyung.
Seungwan: dear viewers, i don't really know what's happening right now. please buckle your seatbelt before anything unexpected happens.
Yoongi: what are you babbling about? come on let's dance!
Seungwan: what the heck you too? are you drunk we're just drinking water??
Yoongi: drunk in love, miss Oversea. let's go.
Seungwan: but didn't you say you are dating Hoseok??
Yoongi: a little cheating won't kill, right Hoseok?
Hoseok: yea have fun hyung!! i'm into Jangmi!!
Yoongi: see?
Seungwan: gay. gay everywhere.
Jimin: Seulgi-ssi, i know you're dating Yerim but may i have a dance with you?
Seulgi: Yerim? Yerim is just 'friends for benefit' hun you're cuter~
Yerim: YAH I CAN HEAR YOU THAT HURTS!
Jungkook: why did Seulgi noona turn into a f**kboy in this skit??
Yerim: f**kgirl, kookoo. she doesn't have a di*k.
Seulgi: NEITHER DOES JUNGKOOK.
Seulgi: by the way, what's your @, baby boy?
Jimin: i'll tell you later when we go to somewhere more private~
Seokjin: guys guys this show has its limited age-rate so watch your words please!!
Joohyun: oh lord what a mess.
Namjoon: you're the last, miss Red Hair the Third. would you like a dance with me?
Sooyoung: i have trust issue in your waggling skill.
Namjoon: then teach me how to dance?
Sooyoung: i didn't say i'm good at it either?
Namjoon: then just take my hand and we will struggle together.
Sooyoung: ...fine. i'll let it pass just this time.
Namjoon: thanks, Soongie.
Sooyoung: DON'T CALL ME SOONGIE ON TV.
Hodong: well since everyone's on the dance floor, shall we have one last dance and say goodbye to our viewers?
Heechul: that's a good way to end, hyung. okay let's go!!
Youngchul: remember to take a group photo too!!
Sangmin: everyone come here!!
All: 1! 2! 3!
All: CHEESE!!!
Seulgi: cheese burger!!
Taehyung: it's just 'cheese' you retard.
Seulgi: i'm hungry...
Jimin: aww isn't she too adorable?
Seokjin: dude your whipped cream isn't expired yet?
[Thank you for watching Knowing Bros: Special Episode - Couple Edition with BTS and Red Velvet! We will see you in the upcoming episode next Saturday!]