_Premiere_
[break time with BTSVelvet! what will the twelve distinct individuals do to kill their time?]
_behind the scenes_
Namjoon: hello guys, i'm the famous architect kim namjoon, aka Rapmon of BTS.
Yoongi: bullshit.
Namjoon: leave me alone hyung. as you guys know, BTS and Red Velvet are finally invited to the best variety show, Knowing Brothers! tadah!!
Namjoon: i know you're all curious about what the others are doing.
Sooyoung: of course they are, nobody cares about you, d**k head. show them my pretty face before the rating goes down!!
Namjoon: be quiet, kiddo!! so yea, i know you're all curious, so i will show them to you guys.
Namjoon: who shall i start with? everyone is still doing their makeup.
Taehyung: i'm free, hyung. my visual needs no filter anyway.
Namjoon: ok then, first off, our kim taehyung, aka mr. V. please greet the viewers, taehyung-ssi.
Taehyung: hi guys, it's taehyung!
Namjoon: that's all you want to say about yourself?
Taehyung: erm...it's really nice to finally appear on this show, with my buddies, my squad, and of course, with my woman.
Namjoon: ugh not again. who's your woman?
Taehyung: she's over there, the prettiest one in this room, in this planet.
Yerim: wouldn't it be me, of course? aww thanks oppa, that's so sweet of you.
Taehyung: you're indeed the ugliest chimpanzee, Kim sister.
Yerim: how dare you say that?? Jungkook-ssi this guy is harassing your girlfriend!!
Jungkook: that's what i do everyday, princess.
Yerim: jesus you guys are all blind. don't i look good in this uniform?
Jungkook: just kidding, you're cute.
Namjoon: yea she is, our baby.
Joohyun: don't spoil her, guys. she will keep bragging about herself if you say that.
Taehyung: yas guys, that's my woman speaking over there.
Namjoon: yes yes, the love of your life. Joohyun-ssi, would you like to be on the camera?
Joohyun: hm not really, i'm still in the middle of makeup.
Taehyung: eish babe that's not necessary, you always look gorgeous.
Namjoon: sorry viewers for letting you see this.
Taehyung: come here, let's greet everyone together.
Joohyun: don't tell me what to do. you come here.
Taehyung: yes ma'am.
Joohyun: hello~
Taehyung: see guys, i told you she's a goddess.
Joohyun: it's Joohyun, or actress Irene, we're filming knowing brothers now. can't wait to see the hyungnims~
Namjoon: wow Joohyun-ssi, what makes you so excited today?
Sooyoung: what else? because the uniform makes that old woman feel like she's young again.
Joohyun: this rascal, i'm still young!
Seokjin: said the one who's at the edge of 30.
Jimin: yah hyung, you're old too. happy 27 birthday!!
Namjoon: yea, happy birthday hyung!
Seokjin: oh yea, thank you very much!
Namjoon: how do you feel being one year older?
Seokjin: nothing much, still feel that i'm the most handsome person in the world.
Namjoon: ok, at least your confidence is not aging.
Seokjin: how rude! i'm a-jin-g but you're a-jin-g too! so basically our age difference stays the same!!
Namjoon: oh boy, and your dad joke is not aging either. bye hyung i don't want to embarrass the viewers.
Seokjin: yah i'm not done yet—
Namjoon: okay, you're next, Jungkook-ssi.
Jungkook: oh yes, hello! sorry for making you guys see me in the middle of contouring myself.
Namjoon: no worries man. what are your feelings right now?
Jungkook: hmm, i'd say, suffocated? there's a chimpanzee beside me i'm feeling the high tension.
Yerim: eh? does that mean i'm too hot? gee thanks.
Jungkook: no, you're taking too much space. please go on a diet.
Yerim: watch your mouth b*tch before i eat you up too.
Jungkook: sorry, you always look beautiful in every sizes.
Yerim: that's right. good boy.
Yoongi: wow what a scene. a chimpanzee is training her dog.
Yoongi: i don't know who's the pet anymore.
Jungkook & Yerim: excuse me???
Namjoon: ok thanks guys for the interview. please don't fight.
Namjoon: Yoongi-sso, i shall move to you next!
Namjoon: hey! Yoongi-ssi!
Yoongi: hey.
Namjoon: you seem really tired. what happened? cold war with girlfriend this morning? or hot war with girlfriend last nigh?
Seungwan: yah!! neither of them!!
Yoongi: nothing, just waiting for Seungwan to be done.
Namjoon: aww, how sweet. do you miss her already?
Yoongi: she's literally sitting next to me, idiot.
Namjoon: you're not funny at all, hyung.
Namjoon: Seungwan-ssi, Yoongi-ssi is missing you desperately. could you give him a comfort kiss?
Seungwan: why would you ask me to do such embarrassing things? we're in the middle of filming!
Hoseok: if that's a kiss between friends then that's okay right, Wannie? like a French kiss!
Namjoon: oh come here Hoseok-ssi! i'm doing an interview.
Hoseok: sure, let me sit next to Wannie.
Yoongi: what the f—
Hoseok: hello everyone, this is Jung Hoseok and his best friend, Son Wannie!
Seungwan: hi guys!! this is Son Seungwan and her best friend, Jung Hobi!
Yoongi: these traitors—
Jungkook & Yerim: hahaha, in your face Min Yoongi, what a loser!!
Namjoon: wow you two look good together! are you perhaps dating?
Hoseok: eish hyung don't make me shy, actually—
Yoongi: actually, i AM dating Seungwan and Hoseok is MY best friend okay? why are you spreading false rumor huh??
Namjoon: wow hyung you finally confessed!
Yoongi: eh—
Hoseok: of course hyung, you're my best buddy i love you.
Seungwan: hmm are we dating? let me see, did you ask me out yet?
Yoongi: WHATEVER. leave me alone you traitors.
Seungwan & Hoseok: aww don't be mad we love you~~
Seulgi: yah Son Seungwan what about me?? i am your bestie, i AM the OG here!
Seungwan: erm who are you?
Seulgi: haha look at this woman, unbelievable. fine WenSeul is over!!
Namjoon: Seulgi-ssi, let's vent here. say hi to the viewers.
Seulgi: helloooo everyone~ i'm Red Velvet's Seulgi!
Seungwan: wow look at that innocent face, from devil to angel real fast.
Seulgi: shut up ex-bestie, you have no right to judge me anymore. your humanity is contaminated by those male creatures.
Namjoon: Seulgi-ssi, what's your concept for today?
Seulgi: i'm a student, a funny one, the comedian of the class! today i'm yes jam. i'm not nojam today!
Namjoon: you still seem nojam.
Seulgi: screw you, let me enjoy my moment. even i'm nojam, i'm still better than Jimin.
Jimin: hey hey hey dear, i can hear you!!
Seulgi: that was my intention!
Namjoon: oh yes Jimin-ssi, who do you think is funnier, you or your girlfriend?
Jimin: personally, i think both me and Seul are equally humorous. but of course, we are the funniest in the group.
Sooyoung: wow congrats, you guys not only have nojam but also no shame.
Jimin: shut up Park sibling, you're just jealous!
Sooyoung: with what? your pathetic height?
Seulgi: hey don't bully my Chim! his height is perfect for me to hug and kiss!
Seulgi: oops i forgot, you single ass don't have anyone to hug and kiss.
Sooyoung: YAH WHO SAID I NEED ONE!! a queen like me needs no king.
Namjoon: what about me? i'm 1m80, our height difference is perfect for hugs and kisses.
Taehyung: eigu hyung you're so straightforward. i'm embarrassed for you now.
Namjoon: so what, everyone knows i like her. what do you think about my suggestion, Sooyoung-ssi?
Sooyoung: first of all, as you know, i am famous. so i only like someone who's in the same class and level with me.
Namjoon: that sounds exactly like me. are you perhaps implying i have a chance?
Sooyoung: you're in the lowest class, so first ease educate yourself first.
Joohyun: again, said the brainless one to the intellectual.
Sooyoung: mom!!! you're supposed to be on my side!!
Joohyun: and you're not supposed to be my daughter.
Sooyoung: I DEMAND JUSTICE IN THIS HOUSE!!!
Namjoon: aww come here i'll give you lots of hugs and kisses.
Sooyoung: I DON'T NEED YOUR KISSES!
Sooyoung: unless you give me hershey's kisses chocolate, then yes.
Namjoon: yum~, chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings.
Sooyoung: b*tch in this fic you're not that Namjoon.
Staff: hey guys! it is time for our last session! please be ready in 5!!
BTSVelvet: coming!!