Friday
Connie was laying on her stomach on Steven's bed while Steven was leaning against it. They were watching a medical drama called 'under the knife'.
"Doctor, it's...my son. There was an accident...I." a woman on the tv said in distress.
"Calm down, I know what we have to do. Nurse.!" Another woman said.
"Yes doctor." A man said.
"Prep the patient for surgery. We're going....under the knife." The doctor said.
"Uuuu this show is so good. Thank you so much for letting me watch under the knife here Steven." She said after she let out a fangirl cry.
"How come you can't watch this show at home." Steven asked.
"My mom says this doesn't represent a real emergency room." She said
"How did his legs...get into....his brain!" The nurse asked at a convenient moment for her answer.
"She just doesn't understand that it's satire." Connie said as her phone started to ring.
"Is that your phone?" Steven asked.
"It's probably my mom."
She looked at her phone to see the familiar name on the screen. "Called it." She answered.
"Hi mother it's Connie. I'm at the home of Steven Universe."
"Mmmhhm."
"Yes mam, were just hanging out."
The look on her face suddenly changed to surprise. "Ohhh. Steven's parents. Their uh...in the other room."
"You'd like to talk to Stevens mom."
"Ok, hold in a moment."
"That's gonna be pretty hard since my mom gave up her physical form to make me." Steven said.
"I can't tell her that."
Steven and Connie then ran down the stairs to Garnet, who was sitting on the couch.
"Garnet quick. You have to pretend to be my mom to Connies mom." Steven said as he handed her the phone.
"Hello, this...is mom Universe. Yes. The children are playing swords. Sorry playing with swords. Their bleeding. Oh no. They are dead. Don't call again." She then hung up. "Sorry, I panicked."
Steven and Connie had a look of utter dread on their faces.
________
Saturday
"What do you mean you can't come over. It's the season finale of under the knife." Steven said as he was puttijg frosting on a cake.
"Steven my parents are really upset. They say they won't let me meet you again till they see both of your parents." She said.
"But that's impossible."
"I know but...they want both of our families to go out together for dinner."
"That sounds so...adult. I wonder if fish stew pizza will take reservations for. Pearl, Garnet, Will, dad and Amythest, Lapis. All ten of us." He said triumphantly.
"You can't bring everybody!" She said.
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because...because...I told you have a nuclear family." She said hurriedly.
"Nuclear! Sure they make stuff blow up sometimes, and they destroy a few things, and a few things get shot up. But that's cause their magic, not because their radioactive!"
"Steven, 'Nuclear' means 2 adults and their child or children. My parents think you live with you mother and father." She explained.
"But none of that is true. You never told your mom and dad about the Crystal gems?"
"No, and it has to stay that way. If they found out I lied they'll never let me stay with you again."
________
Steven had gathered all the. Gems by the kitchen counter. They were all in a line so he could get an idea what to do.
"I have to choose one of you to bring to dinner with me." Steven told the gems.
"Garnet. Your caring, loving and supportive. Everything a mom should be. But your not much for conversation."
"Amythest, your the fun mom. We do all sorts of fun stuff together. But your also gross." Steven said. Which was accentuated by her picking her nose.
"Pearl. Your kind, smart, interesting to be around and can hold a conversation. But you can't eat." He said dejectedly.
"Lapis. You don't know what a mom even I do you." He asked.
"Nope." Was all the answer he needed.
Steven walked over to the couch where his dad was sitting. "Ugh, why did Connie have to tell her family I have one mom, not three or zero." He said solemnly.
"Well I definitely can't go and I'm pretty sure he can't either." Quasar said from the counter as he pointed toward will.
"I'm not pretending to be gay or make up some conveluted excuse that would never work." He said bluntly.
"Told yeah." The AI said.
"Why do we have to do this for the human?" Lapis asked.
Garnet gave her a Stern look. "Because this is Stevens best friend. And we want to make a good impression to them."
"And because the party with the Pizza's didn't go the best." Pearl said.
"Maybe if we put our heads together we can think of something." Amyhtest said.
Steven suddenly went wide eyes and stood up. "Of course, that's it. You three can fuse and all come." He said.
"Steven, we only fuse in deadly situations." Pearl said.
"And their are so many ways that could and would go horribly wrong." Will said.
"Like your consiousnesses fighting for control." Quasar said.
"Or the fact that you'd be 40 feet tall." Will said
"And if the four of you fused it would literally be a nuclear family." Quasar said.
Steven looked both confused and intrigued by that last comment. "What do you mean literally."
Quasar was about to explain before Pearl beat him to it. Causing more than a little annoyance for the AI.
"Well the fusion between myself, Garnet, Amyhtest and Will is called Uranium. She is as powerful as she is volotile. She releases high amounts of radiation. Which is high enough to kill most lifeforms in a matter of minutes." She explained.
"Coooooll." Steven said.
"Then what are you gonna do?" Greg asked.
The gems started talking Amon themselves. A few seemingly good ideas proposed. But they weren't good enough to work.
Will then suddenly got an idea. One he thought would work. "How much time do we have." He asked.
Greg checked his watch. "About....an hour and a half." He said.
"Good enough. Amythest I need to look for somethings in your room." He said as he walked into her room.
He dissapeared through the door before anyone could say anything.
"Well, got any bad ideas." Lapis said sarcastically.
_______
Quasar transferred himself into one of the drines stored in the temple for him to move around in. It took a few minutes and a motion tracker to find Will. He was digging through one of the seemingly endless piles of junk in Amythest's room.
"Whatcha looking for." Quasar said.
He must've scared him because he jumped and hid what he was collecting before noticing who it was and relaxed.
"Damn, what's got you so high strung." The AI asked.
He sighed. "This plan I thought of, it should work fine. But what it is is what has me nervous. There are so many different ways it could go wrong. And so many more for me to embarrass myself."
"Why would you embarrass yourself." Quasar asked as he moved to hover in front of him. He finally noticed what will was looking for and was confused.
"Why the hell do you have those?" He asked, genuinely confused.
"Let's just say this. I'm never gonna hear the end of it. But I need you to promise me something." He moved to whisper in the drines microphone ear.
"Why do you need to whisper?" He asked still being confused.
He looked at him. " Remember Amythest's prank system." He said. A look of realizationnsooj appeared on his avatars face.
Will leaned in and whispered it into the microphone. A strange look soon appeared on the AI's face. "I'll try me best to stop her, but I'll try to cover up all proof."
Will nodded. "Alright then, I guess it's time to bite the bullet." He said as he got up and used flame jets to get to his room.
"You might be the one shooting before this is over." The AI laughed.
"It's a strong possibility." Will laughed.
________
It was early evening. The sky had just gotten dark, making the beach side restaurants lights to shine all the brighter. Connie was sitting down with her family looking over the menu when she saw Greg's van pull into the parking lot.
'please don't let this end in disaster' she thought. But inside she also wondered what her best and only friends plan was.
She watched Steven and Greg get out of the van. But what surprised her next was the unfamiliar woman get out of the passenger seat.
She was strangely tall, long curly dirty blonde hair strat hed down almost to her lower back. She wore a loose green shirt. Although that didn't completely hide her above average 'assets'. Her legs were covered in black leggings and a short black and green skirt. While the whole outfit was completed with a lime green leather jacket. But if one were to look close they could see her well defined and not overly large muscles. But the most odd part was that she wore a glove an her left hand.
Connie looked to the left to see that her parents were just as shocked as her to see this person. They honestly expected Stevens mother to look a bit more like him.
"Hi Connie. Hello MR and MRS mahashawarren." Steven said, breaking them out of their stupor.
"Hi , Greg universe." Greg said as he shook the adults hands.
"Hello, I'm Stevens mother. The names Kelly, Kelly....Universe." she said.
Connie thought she seemed nervous, she could see she seemed to be sweating. But her parents didn't seem to notice.
"So, your Stevens mother?" Priyanka asked.
"Yes mam." She said with a two fingers salute.
"Ok....then. how bout we start dinner shall we." Priyanka said as she slowly sat down.
Meanwhile down the beach the group of 4 gems were crouched behind a rock as spied on the dinner.
"How is it going?" Pearl asked.
"All things considered, rather well." Garnet said.
"As long as no one fucks up." Amyhtest said.
Pearl slapped the short gems arm, causing a muffled cry of pain.
"Someone's gonna mess up." Lapis said.
"So where do you work." Doug asked Kelly.
She seemed to freeze for a moment before answering. "I work at 343 industries(not so subtle reference). I'm actually their head designer."
Both Connie's parents were surprised yet again to hear that. "Wait, your the head designer at by far the largest company in the world. Who sells technology that is at least decades ahead of our time. And you live in a beach house in a small town?" Priyanka asked.
"Yeah, she's got more than just good looks, she's a heck of a lot smarter than most people." Greg said almost forced.
Connie could almost hear Kelly mumble something about to smart her her own good.
The food arrived a few minutes later and they duh in.
"Are you alright?" Doug asked Kelly. She was sweating a decent amount. She looked like she was concentrating immensely in something.
"Yeaaah.... I'm fine." She said.
"You look like your burning up. Are you sure your not sick?" Priyanka
"I said I'm fine!" She said, beginning to sound angry.
"Calm down honey, they just want to know your alright." Greg said.
"I said I'm fine and let's leave it at that." Kelly said.
"Are you sure your fine. You've had minor shakes, sweating and I noticed you wince in pain on more than one occasion." Priyanka asked with a hint of concern.
"I said I'm...aaah!" She was about to say before she double over in pain.
"I can't hold....it anymore." Kelly said before a green glow sorrounded her.
When the glow died down the occupants at the table saw a large man take her place. Steven and Greg had a look that said they were busted.
"That's why you looked so familiar." Connie said with realization.
"Wait! What's going one! Why do you know this man!" Priyanka yelled.
"That's my uncle." Steven said, telling the truth since thief was no use in hiding it.
"Oh my god!" Doug said as he ran out of his seat and over to him.
The rest of them were confused for a moment until they saw Will writhing on the ground in pain. Steven could see the rest of the gems closing in from the distance.
"I told you what might happen!" Quasar yelled from inside his jacket pocket.
"What's wrong." Connie asked.
"His biology is not that compatable with the changes the genetic modifications made." The AI explained.
"What does that mean!" Greg asked.
"It means his body rejected what he shape shifted into." Pearl said.
"Connie get my medical bag out of the car." Priyanka asked her daughter. Connie nodded as she ran to go get it.
Garnet had to hold him down to keep him still enough to get checked up on but even then he tried to get free.
"How has he not passed out from pain by now!" The doctor wondered. Connie finally got back with the bag.
Priyanka took out her stethoscope and checked his heart rate. "He's at over 200 beats a minute but seems to beats a minute." Priyanka said.
"Steven you can use your healing powers." Connie said.
"Steven has healing powers?" Greg asked.
"I can try." He said as he licked his palm.
Steven placed his palm on Will's neck. For a moment nothing happened, but then a subtle link glow sorrounded him and he seemed to relax.
"Whatever you did, it's making his heart rate drop down to normal." Priyanka said as she removed her stethoscope.
"We're never letting him shapeshift into something that complicated again. It's one thing when your body is made of light. But it's entirely another when you rewrite your whole DNA structure just to save your nephews friendship!" Quasar yelled.
"Wait. Who is talking, beings of light and healing powers. Just what is going on here." Doug asked.
"Well you see...." Pearl tried to say but couldn't come up with something that was convincing that also wouldn't reveal to much.
"He's some sort of timetravelling super soldier, Steven is a gem human hybrids, Connie's eyes were healed by Stevens powers and we're ancient gem beings made of hardlight that are thousands of years old."
Everyone turned to look at Lapis.
"What?" She asked.
"Not even future vision could've seen that one. But back on topic, Stevens mother was like us. She couldn't have him without giving up her physical form. So she ceased to be when she passed her gem onto him." Garnet explained.
"Sounds like the premise of a sci-fi movie." Doug said.
"That's all you have to say! Our daughter has been hanging out with literal aliens and that's it."
"She is kept safe from any of our activities." Pearl said.
"Course we don't let her near any of the dangerous shit." Amyhtest blurted out.
"Well that's somewhat of a relief." Priyanka said. She could already feel a headache coming on.
"Is this how all human 'dinners' go?"
"No Lapis, this is not how regular dinners go." Quasar said. He then decided to activate his hologram. "Hello Mahashawarrens I am Smart AI Quasar."
"Well, now that's settled I think it's time we head home." Greg said.
"He's right. It's been an 'interesting' night." Priyanka said.
"Does this mean I can still hang out with Steven." Connie looked at her mother with a pleading look.
She looked over to Stevens family. "Will you make sure she's safe when she's there."
"She's need energy shields to be safer." Will said. He finally was awake and not feeling like he went through augmentations again.
"I suppose....you can hang out with Steven..But if anything happens you are banned from his house." She said sternly.
Connie and Steven hugged. "Yay." They shouted I unison.
"Wait, what's this about your eyes." Priyanka asked.
Connie and Steven sweatdropped.
______
After an explanation of that particular adve there Steven waved goodbye to Connie.
"All things considered, I think that went great." Steven said.
They walked toward the van.
"Your not the one that is basically crossdressing right now bud." Will said.
"You realize you can change into your armor." Said Quasar.
Will paused for a moment. Before dematerialize sliding his clothes and summoning his armor at the same time.
"You forgot didn't you."
"Yes, yes I did." Will replied.
He climbed into the back of the van. Making it say a few inches due to his weight.
"Don't you want the front?" Steven asked.
He waved his hand at him. "No thanks, I just want to lay down. I'm still not feeling the best." Will answered.
Quasar thought to himself about his Spartans behavior. "Maybe he's finally starting to be more human." He thought.