Servamp Jokes (and Oneshots)!

By TheLostSilence

234K 10.1K 2.5K

[ This is a sequel to 'Tumblr's Anime Jokes'. I realised that I only posted about Servamp in that book so I'm... More

- Author's Note. -
Looking good, Todoroki.
Be a caterpillar.
Tell Sakuya off, Mahiru!
Nakiri Azami and Touma Taishi: Brothers?
I don't have any children!
Lilies and Red Carnations [Licht/Hyde]
It's you, now sign here.
WHO ATE MY BREAD?!
Did you eat my bread?
Heard you liked bad boys
I'd really like a snacc
Misono fell off!
What the f- that's a new one.
You know, when I was your age...
2 AM
You're not even going to say 'bless you'?
Everything in the world sucks.
ARE YOU SORRY?!
The waiter decides.
We have your child.
What, gay?
Kuro, the trash.
I'll pick you up at 8 o'clock.
I'm putting myself in a self-induced coma.
A chocolate kiss.
I thought we were stating the impossible.
I thought we were stating the impossible (LawLicht version.)
I thought we were stating the impossible (Lily and Misono's version)
I just thought that Mahiru looked yummy.
Take the pickles off!
Confusing Introductions (Inspired by Thomas Sanders)
I have an idea.
Non-Consensual Knifeplay
Happy Birthday or Angry Birthday?
Under me.
Hinata Hino and Mahiru Shirota
Morosexual
Nice top!
Who's the gay one in this group?
It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's...
I don't deserve this.
TAKE MY LAST NAME!
When a snake bites your leg.
What did you break?
Have I ever told you on how important you are to me?
You know who else is beautiful?
More than grocery sales?
I want a d.
I'm having an affair.
I'm just tired of the word 'bromance'.
We have your child!
Birthday Gift [Kuro/Mahiru]
I'm on my period.
Who needs April Fools?
If there are no more empty seats on the bus...
Grab us a table.
What's Mahiru doing?
What's 'take out'?
The blood of a virgin
You didn't say that!
I poisoned someone's drink.
Can you please pass me my will to live?
Excuse me, is this the clu-
Did you miss me?
Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, Potassium
Glasses
Straight in the eyes
I've decided to be a ghost this Halloween
You don't have the courage to top me.
Both threatened and aroused.
What should I be for Halloween?
What should I be for Halloween? (Part 2)
What should I be for Halloween? (Part 3)
What should I be for Halloween? (Part 4)
What should I be for Halloween? (Part 5)
What should I be for Halloween? (Part 6)
What should I be for Halloween? (Part 7)
What should I be for Halloween? (Part 8)
What should I be for Halloween? (Final)
Practice makes perfect.
You are somebody's reason to smile.
'Please' and 'thank you'
Inner damage
I need names
Are you good at math?
Reaching out for food (couple differences)
A solution to a problem
Never been happy
Caffeine is a drug
Dashing through the halls~!
Under The Mistletoe [Kuro/Mahiru]
Boobs are like the sun.
I don't have any friends
Did you mean 'hit on me'?
If being hot is a crime
This is blasphemy!
That suit looks really good on you
So that's why Mahiru sleeps so early
How do I tell him that I love him?
What do you feel now?
Heard you liked loyalty
Truly unfortunate indeed
Jeje's motherly instincts
Just take what's yours and leave!
You made me fall!
The husband
You need weekly motivation.
What's your favourite animal, Jeje?
Wait, that's NOT a cockroach?
Kranz you liar
How are you, Kuro?
My first boyfriend
The face he makes is more erotic than just that
I would do it for free
Save that money for our wedding then!
Name five things you would say in the bedroom!
Mahiru in a turtleneck
Are we flirting or are we fighting right now?
Ah yes, the good ol' days
Ah yes, 3 words
Look in the mirror
Oh hell naw.
What am I to Mahiru?
I'm your problem now!
Where are you going?
I would if he asked me to.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Blue lollipop
Arguments
Frappucino
Come back home (to a criminal's arms) [Mafia Kuro/Police Mahiru]
What did you just call me?
impromptu encounters [Billionaire Kuro/ Detective Mahiru]
Something you can eat
incarceration [Yandere Kuro/Mahiru]
incarceration [Yandere Kuro/Mahiru] [Chapter 2]
incarceration [Yandere Kuro/Mahiru] [Chapter 3]
Objection

Not the same moon

1.5K 72 4
By TheLostSilence

Servamp.

Tetsu, trying to be romantic for once: "Just remember. Every time you look at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon."

Tetsu: "But not the same moon, obviously. That's just impossible."

Misono:

Mahiru:

Mahiru: "You sure he's the one?"

Misono: "I have contemplated my decision in my head so many times and it hurts me to say yes."

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