Jan. 15.1997
I was always in the studio. Almost done with this collab album with Donald and I was working on my project that I was working now. but I will drop that sometime in the mid summer. I felt like I had to keep my mind off of Tupac. It been a few weeks since his death and I felt like I couldn't live without him, he was everything too me. Just amazing person to be around. Just weird that he is not here anymore. I still feel him around me. He did promise to always be there for me.
"You been in here for days. You want a break?" Devante kiss my cheek.
Yes Devante knows about the baby. He was mad but we are still getting thru this rough patch. And im glad he is still by my side because I do really love him.
I smile. "Yeah, thanks." I told him.
"Is the baby okay?" De ask me
"Yes. The baby is fine. Thank you." I smiled, he kissed my cheek once more.
"You want me to cook something?" Devante ask me.
"Its up too you Donald. You don't have too." I explain.
"Okay, I can order some pizza." Devante told me. I started to laugh.
"Yeah that's cool."
Devante walk out of the studio and order the pizza.
I had a phone call.
"Hey Serenity this is usher."
"Hey Usher, whats going on?" I ask him.
"Well I want to see if you want to hop onto this track with me. I know you would be dope on it." Usher explain and I smile.
"Sure, when do you want me to stop by?" I ask him.
"Tomorrow?" Usher ask me.
"Yeah, I'm free." I told him.
"Alright cool, I see you tomorrow." Usher said before ending the call.
Just to let you know, we didn't tell no one about the baby because I want it to be private until the time comes. Of course I told him mom but no one else doesn't know.
-
"You good?" Devante ask me.
"Yeah I am good." I lied too him.
"Baby, you don't have to lie. You can tell me how you feeling." Devante explain.
"If I told you that I'm good.... then I am good. You don't have to worry about lil ole me." I told him.
He nodded his head. "After pac's death you are not the same. And I'm trying to be a great boyfriend but you keep on pushing me away." Devante told me.
"......"
"Did You love him?" Devante ask me.
"Yes, yes I did." I told him before getting up.
"Aye don't walk away from me. I'm not done with this conversation." Devante told me.
"But I am." I close and lock the door to my room.
Devante was banging on the door and I just cried on the bed.
"Let me in. We need to talk. You cant be pushing me away like this. You need me." Devante said.
unlock the door. "I know I need you Devante. But I can't go back and change things. We both knew what we was doing. You just have to deal with it. If not when we shouldn't be together." I told him.
Devante grab my hand. "I love you too much to leave you babe. I am sorry that I wasn't here for you and support you like Pac did for you when you had your first miscarriage. I am truly sorry." He said.
"I love you too, and thank you for that." I pulled him into a hug.
-
"
There's always that one person
That will always have your heart
You never see it coming
Cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby
You gotta rock your way with this one
Ooh you will always be my boo
Come on
" Usher sung
"
I don't know bout you all
But I know about us and uh
It's the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout you all
But I know about us and uh
It's the only way
We know how to rock
" I sung
....
"This song is really good Usher." I smile.
"Thanks, I just knew I was missing something." Usher smile.
"I was your missing piece." I told him.
"Hell yeah, cuz you killed that shit." Usher told me.
I smile. "Thanks."
So after that Usher walked out and this is when I see my brother coming walking in.
I got up and hug him. I just miss my big bro.
"How are you really doing?" Static ask me.
"I cant get over what happen Static. I just cant believe this." I told him.
"You guys were close." Static said.
"Yeah, we love eachother. He was there for me when Devante wasn't." I told him.
"Damn, I didn't know it was like that. " Static said.
"Yeah, a lot of shit happen that you didn't know about. " I said.
"Shit tell me. " Static said which cause me to laugh.
I told him everything.
"Hold up! You are having his baby and you didn't even fucking tell me?" Static said.
"Look im sorry okay. I found out last month before Christmas and when he got killed it was too much for me. I was too scared to tell anyone."
"Does Devante know?" Static ask me.
"Yes, he knows, and we are working thru it."
"I can't believe this shit, you are acting like a hoe." Static said.
"I can't believe you would say that too me."
"Devante cheated on me but you don't call him no hoe, but since im a female. Ugh you make me sick." I got up and left to cool off.
I came back and he was gone. GOOD!
I already got 6 songs done. But I don't think it would fit on the other project I was doing for the summer. So I might have to drop this out for my fans. I'm trying to keep moving so I was listening to all my songs but "Dreams Are Real" was playing.
"
Sky goes blue
Love flows through
And how you feel
Dreams are
My nigga, wake up feelin' blessed up
You gon' get these bands, you gon' get these checks up
Made it under pressure
You fall under
Today's a better day
Old habits die hard, but we'll find another way
Laid up right next to me and everything is straight
Gon' get left behind if you choose to stay the same
Cause the
.....
"
I nodded my head because I was feeling this shit. This whole Ep is a vibe. But I don't know what to call it. Its different from what I have been doing.
I might call it "Aftermath"
"This sound dope."
I look up and it was Devante.
"Thanks.." I told him.
"I hate that you are pushing me away like this. " Devante told me.
"I know, and I'm sorry. I just cant help it. Its just too much for me right now. I just need to focus on this music and this baby that's all I can do." I told him.
"I understand that. But you need some sleep. You haven't been sleep. You always be In the studio. You turning just like me." Devante joked.
"I cant right now." I told him.
"Fair enough, can I hear what you got?" Devante ask me.
"Sure." I told him.
-
Songs:
My boo : Usher Ft. Alicia Keys
Dreams Are Real: Tinashe