Mary froze, not quite sure how to feel about her admission as Catherine started crying harder.
"Well, go ahead. Say it. Say whatever you're thinking. Tell me it's wrong. Tell me it's disgusting. Tell me..." she babbled through the tears.
"I...I wasn't thinking that. I wasn't thinking anything. I...think I need a moment to... process this." She said.
"Of course you're thinking it. How could you not think it. I've thought it myself enough times. I even tried to walk away once. But I couldn't." The tears slowed but didn't stop.
"I just don't...how...when?" She was still working through it.
"It started the night of the celebration for my grandson...my grandson...who will be older than my child." She mused.
"Five months..." Mary noted.
"Now I'm sure you'll go running off to tell on me. What will people think of me? They hated me enough before. I'm sure it's ruined my chances of you forgiving me, and I don't even want to think what Francis will do...God, I don't want to lose him, or worse. What if he makes Bash leave? I'll be alone." She was clearly terrified. She was shaking.
The little queen was shaking as her mother stepped into her carriage and rode off. It would be years before she saw her again and she was all alone. Then the older queen stooped down to her height, placing her hands on her shoulders.
"Don't be afraid. You're not alone... I will always be here to protect you." She assured her, pulling her into an embrace.
Mary moved toward Catherine, placing her hands on her shoulders.
"Don't be afraid. You're not alone...I'll always be here to protect you." She said mirroring the words Catherine gave her so many years ago.
At that moment, remembering those words, Catherine realized Mary had forgiven her after all. She didn't know what to say. So she did something she hadn't done in a very long time. She embraced Mary, letting all their past mistrust fall away, finally. After a moment she spoke again.
"But how can you just be okay with this?" She asked as she pulled back to look at her.
"Because I've seen the change in you these last few months. Because I've seen that lovely soul I used to know return. He brings out the best in you. How could that possibly be bad?"
Some days later, Mary bursted into Catherine's room. Catherine was standing in front of the mirror, trying to adjust her dress.
"Francis just received a message from Bash's company. They're coming home. They'll be here tomorrow." She said excitedly. Catherine looked worried.
"I suppose it's good timing." Mary looked confused as Catherine turned, removing her hands from her side, revealing a tear in seam of her dress. "None of my dresses fit... I tried to squeeze into this one...but...well." Mary put her hand on her shoulder. "It won't be long now." Catherine added turning back to continue to examine the tear in her dress.
The next day, the horn sounded, alerting the castle to the men's return. Catherine and Mary were standing in the main hall at the time and ran to the ledge to look out and see them. As they looked out they spotted Leith at the front leading an extra horse by the reigns.
"That's Bash's horse." Mary noted.
"Why isn't he on his horse?" She panicked and grabbed Mary's arm. "My god, what's happened to him?" She whispered. Mary put her hand on Catherine's and leaned in to whisper in her ear.
"I'm sure it's nothing. Go back to your room so no one sees you panicking. I'll find out what's going on." Catherine shot her a worried glance. "Go. I'll get back to you as soon as I can." She added as she started walking away. Her hand went to her stomach and she took off toward her room.
Catherine was pacing her room nervously, when Mary finally entered. Catherine rushed to her, grabbing her hands.
"What's happened? Is Bash alright? Is he...?" She couldn't bear to finish the thought.
"He's alive, but he is badly wounded. They're taking him to the infirmary as we speak." Mary told her. Catherine felt as though she couldn't breath.
"How bad is he?" She asked.
"I'm not entirely sure, as I didn't actually see him myself, but from what Leith told me, it doesn't sound good." She was explained. Catherine's heart began to race.
"I need to go to him. I have to..." she said attempting to push past Mary.
"Catherine stop. This is not how you want your secret to come out. Besides, he's in the middle of being taken care of." She took her hands and guided her to sit on the couch. "Listen to me, I'll find a way to get you to see him, I promise, but you'll need to wait until they're done patching him up...it will be alright"
After a few hours, Mary returned to Catherine's chambers to find her nervously wringing her hands.
"Come on. We need to go now if you want to see him. We don't have much time." She said holding the door open. Catherine rushed out the door.
"How did he look? Is it as bad as we thought?" She asked as they rushed toward the infirmary.
"I don't know. I didn't really get a chance to assess the situation." She said as she continually checked her peripheral to make sure no one saw where they were going.
They arrived at the their destination and Mary held the door open.
"I'll wait out here to make sure you're not caught. I know it'll be difficult, but make it as quick as possible." She told her. Catherine nodded and made her way inside. She looked down at him. His eyes were closed. She gazed over his body, as her eyes landed on the wound in his chest. She paused momentarily disturbed by the sight in front of her. Bash's eyes began to flicker open and her breath caught in her chest as she moved to kneel next to him. As he sensed her presence his head turned toward her.
"Catherine. Have I died and gone to heaven?" He said quietly. She took his hand in hers.
"Don't you dare say a thing like that, not even joking." She started stroking his hair.
"What are you doing here? You could get caught." He said squeezing her hand.
"I know it's a bit of a risk, but I had to talk to you about something very important." She said.
"What is it?" He asked at the worried look on her face. She opened her mouth to speak just as Mary opened the door yanked her into the hallway and behind a corner as Francis passed by, just barely missing them. They looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief.
"I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to tell him." She said.
"It's alright, you tried. At least I got to see him." She said.
Later, as she was preparing for bed, she heard a familiar crack in the wall. Bash stumbled in. She rushed to him.
"Bash, what are you doing? You shouldn't be out of bed." She said attempting to brace him a bit.
"You said you had something very important to talk about. You seemed worried. I didn't know how long it would be until I saw you again, so..." he stopped as she is ushered him to the bed.
"Sit, please. Oh, you fool. Your going to tear your wound open, what were you thinking?" She stood in front of him, checking his wound. He grabbed her hands with one hand and put the other on her waist.
"It's alright, it's not as bad as it looks. They've been severely overreacting." He promised. He kissed the hand he held.
"I've missed you so much." She said smoothing his hair back on the sides.
"I thought about you every second." He kissed her and then she hugged him tight.
"Oh, god, don't you ever do that to me again." She pulled back and peppered kisses all over him. Then she pressed her forehead to his.
"I'm here. It's OK." He said stroking her cheek. She breathed a sigh and then smiled."Now what is it you needed to talk to me about?"she pulled away just a bit and took his hands.
"Do you remember when we were apart before..."
"Remember? Those were the worst weeks of my life." He interrupted.
"But do you remember what I said. Why I told you I couldn't be with you." She said.
"You told me you wanted me to be happy and that I couldn't be happy because I could never have a life or a family with you..." he started to look worried.
"Then I told how much I wished I could give you those things..."
"Catherine, if you're trying to leave me again..."
"No. I'm not." She said taking his hand again.
"Then what are you saying?" He asked.
"I'm saying that, maybe I should have been more specific when I wished it." He looked at her quizzically. She looked in his eyes and placed his hand on her stomach and held it there.
"Are you..."
"I'm pregnant. I tried to tell you the day you left, but I was too late..."
"Oh, Catherine." He pulled her face toward him gently and kissed her like he needed to in order to breath. He pulled back, emotions filling his eyes. He put his hand on her cheek. "You are beautiful." He said. Then he took her hands and held them tight as he pulled her closer and kissed her stomach. She ran a hand through his hair. He wrapped his arms around her waist and looked up at her.
"There's so much we need to talk about, but for now I'm glad you aren't upset about it." She said.
"Upset? God, this...this is...amazing. I'm so sorry you had to hold this secret alone, all this time." She continued to stroke his hair.
"Well, not...entirely alone...Mary knows. She's the one who pulled me into the hall earlier. She promised she wouldn't tell until we are ready."
"She...knows...and she's OK with it?" He said.
"It's a very long story. I can explain it all some other time. You need to get back to the infirmary before someone comes to check on you and your not there." She warned.
"How can I possibly leave now? This...this is..."
"I know. But you really shouldn't be up anyway." He held her hand to his cheek and then kissed her stomach again. He stood slowly. She looked up for into his eyes. "I love you so much."
"And I love you...both of you." He assured. He kissed her again.
"Go on now, before I do something stupid and make you stay." She said. He smiled and turned toward the passageway. "Be careful!" She pleaded.
"Always." He said letting her hand slowly from his and disappeared behind the wall.