When we arrived to his flat the silence was still permeating the air all around us.
I sent him a little glance as soon as he parked the car, trying to determine the mood he was in to see if it would've been a good idea to say something or not. I could understand why he was mad, but it also didn't make that much sense for him to be. It had happened, I hadn't done it on purpose, and it wasn't like arguing about it would've changed anything.
He sat there, staring right ahead, for some seconds, whatever was going through his head completely unknown to me, and then he sighed. "Let's go" he muttered, his voice low, and I suddenly knew that he definitely was still mad. Not like he'd been before, when he'd made his feelings clear through his words and actions, but a more tamed version of it, that I could only recognise as him being pissed because he wasn't as playful.
I just gave him a little nod, not wanting to risk another argument on the street, and I followed him as he got out of the car, frowning when the cold air of the night hit me.
I crossed my arms over my chest as I waited for him to open the front door, realising only in that moment that I'd forgotten my coat - with all my belongings - at Joel's house. I closed my eyes for a second, realising what a stupid move it had been. Would he have even returned them? Or would I have had to go to his house to get them back? Yet another thing to add to the list of stupid choices I'd made that night. I didn't even dare to think what Harry would've said when I would've told him about that one as well.
He unlocked the main door and pushed it open with his hand, waiting for me to get inside the building before doing the same.
I followed him upstairs, not even knowing what I was doing there. I didn't know why he'd decided to take me to his house, instead of mine - I wasn't even sure I wanted to ask, if I had to be honest. I was quite sure I wouldn't have liked the answer.
He opened the door to his small apartment and I walked in, a quick look around making me realise that he wasn't a particularly tidy person, considering that the table next to the entrance and part of the floor around that spot were covered in books.
I stepped over some written notes in silence to get to the centre of the room, knowing better than to comment on his messiness in that moment.
He threw his coat on the couch, and I realised only then that, even though he hadn't been wearing it, he'd had it with him the whole time. He'd left it in his car, maybe? Whatever he'd done, it was clear that he was way more organised than I could've ever been when it came to things like that.
He gave me a once over, seeming to notice the state I was in way quicker than I had. "You forgot your coat, didn't you?" He asked, his question coming out more like a statement, as if he just knew I had, as it fit some kind of criteria that he'd already established as belonging to me.
I didn't say anything, but I gave him a little shrug, knowing that he already perfectly knew the answer to that question.
"Just what we needed" he mumbled to himself, and I would've probably got mad at him because of the tone he'd used, if it wasn't that he was right. That one had definitely been a messy night, certainly not one of my best.
I followed him with my gaze as he walked past me again and fumbled with his coat, quickly taking his phone out of the pocket and looking at it for a few seconds before pressing it to his ear.
"Indigo?" He said not too long after, and I pursed my lips as soon as I realised he'd called my best friend. Her finding out about what had happened was definitely the last thing I needed, but I knew it would've been inevitable. She had to know, if we didn't want the situation to turn into an even bigger mess. "Yeah, we left. Joel found out" he continued, explaining quickly and concisely. "Raine forgot his coat there, do you think you can grab it for her? Good." He glanced at me as he spoke, his eyes burning into mine, seeming to be listening to what she was saying. "I'll tell her."
He closed the call, staring at the phone for a few seconds before throwing it on the couch. I looked at him, waiting for him to speak, wondering what Indigo had told him. It was clear that she had said something, but his silence went on for so long that I found myself wondering if he would've told me at all.
"You're fucked" he then said, and I raised an eyebrow, definitely not having expected those words to leave his mouth. "Joel seemed to be a bit drunk, so maybe we would've got away with it" he continued, "but Callie definitely wasn't, and thanks to your performance she understood what happened fairly quickly."
I pursed my lips, looking down. I was sure I could've got away with it when it came to Callie, but it'd just turned out that she was way more perceptive than I'd expected her to be, which truly was an issue. She was pretty and belonged to a fairly rich family, she alone probably knew way more people than Indigo and I combined - which meant that not only we would've had to be careful around her, but around everyone else as well.
"And Indigo tried her best to distract her, so she also realised it's probably her fault you know" he added. "So congrats, you screwed us all up in the span of twenty minutes."
"How many times do I have to tell you I did it to protect you?" I replied, frustrated that he didn't seem to be able to see the point. "You know what, you can say he threatened you a lot of times, but how many were they where he held an actual weapon against you? He took that bottle while talking to you, Harry. I don't know if you know, but Joel doesn't drink while having important conversations" I explained quickly. "That bottle would've ended up on you, or in you-" I interrupted myself, looking away. "Fuck."
"That wouldn't have happened, Raine" he replied, seeming a bit annoyed by my words.
"Oh really?" I said, "then tell me why his first reaction when I walked in was to break it against the table and charge you with it. Did you think he would've stopped, Harry? Maybe right in front of you, given you a big hug and walked away?" I shook my head. "You do not approach someone with a weapon unless you want to hurt them."
"Raine-" he said, his voice seeming a bit softer, but I shook my head, letting him know that I wasn't done.
"And what do you think would've happened after you would've ended up hurt? He didn't want to call an ambulance because someone accidentally overdosed and died in his house. Do you really think he would've called one after having stabbed someone with a broken bottle in his own house? He wouldn't have done that, and he would've made sure nobody else would've been able to do that either!"
"Raine."
"And I'm sorry for deciding that I didn't want to risk something bad happening to you. Haven't you thought that maybe sometimes all you can do is choose between two bad outcomes? Yeah, he knows I know now, but at least you aren't fucking hurt!"
"Raine" he said softly for the third time, covering the few steps that separated us and slowly intertwining the fingers of his right hand with mine, successfully shutting me up. "I'm fine. Nothing's going to happen to me."
I looked into his eyes, realising just then that I'd been nervously crying the whole time. "I just want you safe, Harry" I told him quietly, "I've already lost people in my life, I don't want to lose you too."
He brushed his thumb against my knuckles reassuringly. "You aren't going to lose me, thunderstorm."
I let out a little laugh at his words. "That damned nickname" I commented, and he smiled at me.
"I'm not dropping it, so you better get used to it, thunderstorm."
I sighed as he pulled me into a hug, resting my cheek against his shoulder and wrapping my arm around his neck, taking a deep breath and taking in the faint musky smell of his cologne. "I missed you tonight" I whispered to him, and he hummed.
"You mean, before rushing into the room in a quest to save me?" He commented, and I was sure that if I'd been distant enough from him to be able to look at him in the eyes, I would've glared at him.
"Don't make me not want to have missed you" I threatened him, and he let out a chuckle.
"Fair enough."
I nodded slightly, glancing up and suddenly taking in the small silver ring that went through his ear, decorated with some kind of incision that I couldn't really understand whether was an abstract or nature motif. "You changed your earrings" I murmured, and he gave me a faint nod.
"I put my silver nose ring on again right before going to the party" he explained quietly.
I smiled a bit. "I hadn't noticed" I offered gently as an apology. I definitely hadn't noticed the slight change in colour of his jewellery earlier that night, and I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty about it, considering how important it'd been to him.
He gave me a little shrug. "You're forgiven."
I just rolled my eyes at him, not replying.
We stood there for some more seconds, and then we broke apart, Harry going back to holding my hand for a fast second before letting it go.
"To be fair, I want you to be safe as well" he said quietly, just to act like he'd never said anything when I sent him a surprised glance.
I turned around, trying my best to ignore the little thing my heart did at his words, and sat down on the couch, putting my elbow on my knees and resting my head on my hand. "What will happen now?" I asked Harry quietly. "I don't want you to be in danger."
He moved to stand next to me, looking down at the floor. "I'm not in any immediate danger, don't worry" he replied, something in his voice telling me that there was more than him just wanting to reassure me in his reply.
"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up at him, and he glanced away from me, passing his fingers through his dark hair nervously.
He sat down next to me, but stared ahead, seeming not to have any intention of looking directly at me. "He'll only get me expelled."
I frowned. "He can't do that" I said right away. He would've had to have some dirt on Harry for the university to even consider expelling him, and I was sure he didn't have any - I hoped so, at least. Harry seemed way too attentive to be caught doing anything he shouldn't have done.
"Not directly" he replied, "he'd have to have proof for the university to expel me. But accusations work quickly for other things."
"I don't think I understand" I told him truthfully. Why was Harry worried about the university expelling him if he knew it couldn't happen?
He looked down again, crossing his arms over his chest. "What he said is true" he stated, referring to the sentence I'd heard Joel spit at him earlier that night. "I'm not the one paying my tuition."
I frowned. It did make sense, considering that I knew his family definitely wasn't well off basing it on what he'd told me about it, but it managed to surprise me anyway. I hadn't thought about that possibility, but honestly, how else would've been able to pay? It definitely was a lot of money. My dad had put aside my tuition money for my whole life, and even to that day I was only able to afford it thanks to part of my dad's salary and mine too. I knew that Harry had had some pretty major issues too, like having to move to the United States with his family, that surely hadn't come without a price, so I really didn't know why I'd never wondered about his scholastic career.
"The thing is, accusations are all that's needed to taint a name, and when it comes to rich families, the name is everything" he continued, still looking down.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Who's paying your tuition, Harry?" I asked him, but he gave me a little shrug.
"You know what, my mom had put enough money aside for at least one of us to be able to go to uni" he said, "ideally my brother, because he was older. But then everything went to shit and we had to move here, and we had to use part of that money to do that. And not an insignificant part."
I just nodded, silently waiting for him to continue.
"My brother finished school, and he met this girl. She's of a good family, and she filled his head with a bunch of ideas for their future" he continued. "He decided he wanted to start university. I told him not to-" he glanced at me for a second. "I know it sounds bad. But we didn't have enough money put aside to pay for all the years until he would've got his degree, so what was the point? We could've used that money much better, considering that we were in a pretty bad situation."
I nodded, showing him that I understood. It wasn't the most ideal situation, but it made sense for him to have thought in that way.
"He didn't listen to me though. I was just his little brother, you know. Anyway, he finished his first year, he was halfway through his second, and that's when things got bad." He pursed his lips, his eyes following the lines of the floor. "He realised he wouldn't have been able to finish. The money wouldn't have lasted for long enough, his grades were too low to even considering asking for a scholarship. Meanwhile, things with his girlfriend got serious, and that too became an issue. He realised that no rich family would've allowed their daughter to marry someone that makes minimum wage on a good day, and is unemployed on a bad one."
I looked down, starting to be a little concerned about how his story would've ended. It was clear that things had taken a more than sour turn at one point.
He cleared his throat, and went on. "He let the stress get to him. He started getting drunk, and high. Everything he could spend the rest of his tuition money on, he did." He was silent for some seconds. "He was hit by a car. He was drunk out of his mind, ran right in the middle of the road."
I let my gaze fall to the floor, recognising that that was it because of the definitive tone of Harry's voice. "I'm sorry" I said, but he just shook his head.
"It was a shock for everyone" he told me. "His girlfriend too took it awfully. She wasn't in her right mind for a while. Went around telling everyone that her parents were happy that he was gone, because he would've been bad for their image. You see how that was highly problematic." There was the pause of a breath. "Nobody wants people to think they're bad, so her father did the only thing he could do to save his image. He decided to pay to allow his brother, me, to go to university." He shook his head, looking away to the side. "Joel wasn't wrong, I really am at uni just because the rich people felt bad."
I just looked at him, not knowing what to say. That was an extremely fucked up situation, and I wasn't even sure there was something I could've said to lift his mood.
"Of course, everyone that matters knows he's paying for me. That's the point" he continued after a little pause. "So If negative rumours came out about me, his image would be directly affected. And if he stops paying my tuition, I won't be able to complete my studies. The last of my brother's tuition money went to the funeral, and the money I make from my occasional jobs all goes to my rent and meals. My mother is a waitress, she can't afford it."
I found myself staring right ahead when he was done talking, trying to process it all. Harry had only gotten his chance to get a good education because his brother had passed away, and now Joel was planning on taking it away from him as a payback for being an issue to him. "That's a mess" I ended up stating, and Harry nodded.
"It really is."
We stayed in silent for some seconds, and then Harry stood up quickly, clearing his throat, his back to me.
"I think it's better if you stay here tonight" he said. "Joel wasn't in his right mind, and I really don't trust him. He could do something stupid."
I gave him an affirmative hum, knowing better than to argue with his reasoning on that night, and stood up as well, putting my hand on his back as I moved to stand next to him, observing the look that was on his face.
He sent me an unreadable glance. "You can take one of my t-shirts if you want" he told me, "I'll be in the bedroom soon."
"Where are you going?" I asked him with a little frown.
"To have a smoke."
"Would I be able to convince you not to?" I asked, perfectly knowing that he only wanted to smoke because he was feeling stressed.
He shook his head. "Not tonight. Sorry" he replied, making it clear that I just wouldn't have managed to convince him on that day.
I looked at him for some seconds, and then nodded, deciding to give him some privacy after that disaster of a night. "I'll wait for you before falling asleep" I told him, managing to earn a faint smile from him.
"I'll keep it in mind, thunderstorm" he replied gently, opening the window of the living room, allowing the sudden cold air to slide into the room and between us.
I gave him another little look, smiling a bit at the use of the nickname he'd chosen for me, and then walked away and into the corridor, leaving him alone in front of the open window.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. x
Miki