A Chapter In Which We Celebrate A Marvellous Writer's Breakfast Preference!!
(Sung to the music of Gilbert and Sullivan - Possibly Pirates of Tight Pants )
The Interventionists.
Had Elf upon their list
Elf was deluded
All he did was brooded
The interventionists
All expressed a special wish
Take Elf straight back in time
Find someone to make him kind
Into the time machine
Elf isn't really mean
Take him to Pizza
Go right away
Right away (Chorus)
Right away
Take Elf right away
Right away
Right away
Take Elf right away (End of debatable Gilbert and Sullivan music :)
Reckless Sam at controls
Aimed for Italy Year 1505
Barbie spun the gyro
Gus watched the ding dong meter
The B Band played, 'The Girl from Ipanema' (Especially for Joe who was reading at that moment)
Off to find the famous psychologist
At the leaning tower of pizza
'First things first' Lady R demanded
It's on the huh, that tower of pizza
Make it straight that would be neater'
So Troll and Mabel gave it a shove
And the tower became perpendicular at once
Anna Gram said it would look better
Wallpapered in a pattern of pepperoni and lettuce
So Sykes took some paste and covered it at once
And the tower leaned no longer and looked like @most_bay's lunch
(Which is a mouthful of a line)
Elf climbed the steps and there to his surprise
Was the renown psychologist there before his eyes
'I'm Poppy Tart, and I have a special formulation
That will put you off for good
Any World domination!!
If you ruled the world
You must solve all the problems
Keep the peoples fed
In all the populations
Stop all the wars
Make cockerels crow
To wake up sleepy parsons
Make rivers flow
and blow the nose
Of flu riddled orphaned pythons
You'll have to help the scientists
And clean out all the drains
You must provide the castanets
For all the folk in Spain
You'll get bored of all the bowing
And all the riches too
You won't be able to travel
Your throne will be a loo'
'Oh Poppy Tart, Oh Poppy Tart
What am I going to do?
I'm through with domination
I haven't got a clue'
But Poppy said, 'it's ok Elf
I know that you are cured
Go forth to Rome, enjoy yourself
In BC 42
As elf climbed in the time machine
A smiling to his chums
He aimed towards the Romans'
To have a little fun
And Poppy Tart, she waved them off
From tower that was straight
Remembering once, she was engaged
To poor olde Putty Face