Chapter 16
June 2007
~TRAVIS~
The day that came after that night we went skinny dipping with Heather was all kinds of awkward. I remember waking up that morning thinking about everything I had experienced that night and pondering some of my actions and feelings from the situation. I felt greatly uncomfortable and for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about Elijah and Heather. Particularly Elijah who had somehow managed to leave a strange taste in my mouth. And then there was Heather who had made me especially uncomfortable by demanding that me and Elijah kiss for her, right after she suggested having a threesome with us. That chick was all sorts of crazy so I shouldn't have been thrown off by that, so I think what was really bothering me was that I actually wanted to do it and felt an undeniable regret for having stormed off. Heather was so sexy that night but also a bit manic for kissing the both of us back to back like it was nothing and then randomly suggesting we have a threesome. Elijah was just... I don't know, for the first time ever I think I can actually say, I thought he looked pretty hot last night. I mean, would it have actually been that weird if we were to all have a threesome together? Elijah's pretty hot, Heather's pretty hot, what exactly was stopping me? Other than the parts where Heather was kinda crazy and Elijah was kind of a guy.
Apart of me however couldn't deny that I really wanted to see the both of them naked, not just Heather, who had stripped before she even got into the lake, whereas Elijah didn't until he was already in. That probably makes me sound like a pervert but if I'm being honest with myself I think I may have felt just as attracted to Elijah as I was to Heather that night and was sad that I didn't get to see him the way I saw Heather. It's weird, because until then I had always told myself, I'm not gay... I'm not attracted to boys. But Elijah was indeed a boy and he made me feel just as equally turned on as I was to Heather, if not more so. Like, I remember when I watched the two of them kiss and I couldn't stop staring at Elijah's lips. I didn't stare at Heather's because I had already kissed her for the first time by that point. I was staring at Elijah's because it piqued my curiosity to know what it was like to be kissed by him. A guy, for fuck's sake! Though he wasn't just any other guy, he was my best friend. There was a special connection we had to each other that didn't make it seem like I was a faggot crushing on whatever cute boy that passed me by. He was Elijah Radford, whom I had been close to since the ninth grade.
It was a weird experience. Not gonna lie, I wanted to have a threesome with them, I was curious to know what it would have been like to kiss Elijah. I was just unsure last night. I knew Heather was crazy and that Elijah was a boy and that'd make me gay if I actually wanted to kiss him, but deep down, I wished that all of that shit didn't matter and I had just gone with it. I probably wouldn't get the opportunity to again.
I sat in the cafeteria alone that morning just pondering over all of that. Wondering what it would have been like if I had just stayed. Maybe I actually would have gotten to see Elijah's—
My thoughts were shattered as soon as Elijah himself appeared right in front of me to sit down at the breakfast table. "What's up?" He said so casually, literally having no idea that I was just thinking about his dick.
"Nothing," I said with a shrug, barely even looking at him. How could I? If only he knew how I felt about him now.
"So um... last night was... kinda crazy," he said awkwardly.
"Yeah," I agreed without expressing nearly as much awkwardness as he was.
Silence befell upon us for a while until I ultimately decided to just let out part of my inner frustrations. "Do you think we should've done it?" Yeah, I didn't have to be specific because he should have known what I was referring to.
"What? The threesome?" He asked to clarify as he lowered his voice and moved his head in closer to mine.
I nodded my head yes in response.
"Well no, I mean, it didn't seem like you were into that."
"What if I was?"
"Then you wouldn't have left."
"I mean, would you have done it if I had stayed?"
"I don't know, maybe."
I don't say anything and instead just think over and over how much of a mistake I made last night by leaving so soon.
"Trav, what is this about? You were the one who left. I mean, if you wanted to have a threesome with us then why leave? It just doesn't make sense."
"I thought it would be awkward for us. Ya know... both of us fucking the same girl right in front of each other. And then... fucking each other..."
"What? No, not all threesomes are like that. You and I would just take turns fucking her, and that would be it... no fucking each other," he explained to me as if I were stupid. How would it be a threesome if we're not all fucking each other? "Look, if you just want to fuck her by yourself I'm sure she'd be more than happy to do that too."
For some reason, I object to that idea. The idea of being with both of them at the same time turns me on a hell of a lot more. "No..." I muttered quietly but yet he still managed to hear me.
"What? You want me there?" He said, slightly raising his voice in surprise. The answer to that question would be a yes for sure, but would I actually say that to him?
"No, it's just... she wanted the both of us... at the same time," I said insecurely. I could just feel my face painfully blushing.
"Nah bro, I'm sure she'd fuck you either way."
"You think so?"
"Yeah... she was also pretty drunk last night so you think she was actually for real about having a threesome with us?"
"A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts... or in this case, drunken girl..."
"Bro, if we all had a three way together, it'd be awkward as hell, not gonna kid you," he said, ultimately declaring himself not on board with the idea. Oh well, so much for that.
"Yeah, it'd be pretty awkward if we kissed, huh?"
His eyes immediately made contact with mine and his face went red. "Yeah... extremely. But besides, I already told you we don't have to interact with each other in a threesome—"
"I know, but... Heather wanted us to."
"Just because Heather wanted us to doesn't mean we have to do it. What's up with you, man? You've been acting very weird today. You were the one who left last night right after she told us to kiss and now you think you actually want to do it?"
Holy fuck, my face could not have been more red and hot at the moment. "Can we take this outside?" I fucking needed to have this conversation privately.
We went outside and headed towards the shore of the lake to continue this painfully weird conversation. "I just feel like... maybe I shouldn't have left," I told him.
"Because you wanted to do it? I mean, I totally get it..."
"You do?"
"Yeah man, you're a virgin and you want your first time to be in a threesome. There's nothing wrong with that." That's not entirely true but yeah, sure, we'll go with that.
I just sighed and nodded my head to make him think that he was right on.
"Ah, it's okay man, you'll get another shot eventually!" He said, slinging his arm over my shoulder and thus reinforcing the sexual tension that has already been established between us since last night.
"Will I?" I muttered.
"Of course you will!"
"Between you and Heather?" Yeah, I never realized that I was practically beating this over his head.
"I was thinking more along the lines of you and two chicks but..." But then I wouldn't get to experience the best of both worlds.
"But...?"
"I'll... think about it... if Heather's actually down. If not well then that dream's over." That dream?
"Really?" Yeah, for some reason that answer kinda shocked me at the time. He did want it just as much as I did but was too damn afraid to say it. Coward. "We'd still have to kiss though, at least once." I was probably being a little too obvious with that last remark.
"No we don't bro, that's so gay!" He said with a grin across his blushing face.
"Not if we say 'no homo.'"
"Bro, it's still gay!" He kept saying that but yet, apart of me felt like maybe deep down he would eventually cave into peer pressure.
"Come on, man. Let's just try..." Maybe I was being a little too persistent.
"You are such a fag, you know that, right?" He said in a pretty playful manner that I knew he was about to cave in.
"Come on, we'll go into the woods!" I suggested so that no one would catch us red handed.
We went deeper into the woods and to my surprise Elijah couldn't stop grinning through his red face. He stood against a tree and I moved in closer to him. My heart was pounding inside my chest. Our noses were almost touching, until right before I could lock my lips with his, he immediately burst out laughing and pulled his face away. "Oh man, we almost actually did it!" He exclaimed as if the whole thing was just some sort of joke. And to him, it obviously was. "Holy shit, dude, you were so convincing, I thought you were actually gonna kiss me! Goddamn, man, good one though!" He put his fist out for me to fist bump him, as if I was actually joking along with him. But I wasn't for fuck's sake!
I of course just went along with it to avoid the humiliation. "Yeah, that was... definitely a joke... you didn't think I'd actually kiss you, did you?" I said rhetorically with a hint of disappointment in my voice. "That's so gay!"
"Yeah man, like, what are we, a couple of fags?!"
"We'd be a pretty weird couple, wouldn't we be?"
"You know it!"
I watched him walk away with such disappointment as I finally came to a firm realization about what I actually wanted. Too bad he didn't want the same.