what i'm doing now is what we call killing time before inevitable death. everyone says that humans live only a short while on this earth. 100 years max, they say. what happens when we die? do we fade into blackness, into a dreamless sleep. if hours pass like seconds when we're asleep, what are years to death? decades? centuries? is there a light at the end of the tunnel? if so, how long is the tunnel itself? i don't fear death, instead i fear losing consciousness. you could argue that these are the same thing, yet examples exist of humans who are alive but without consciousness. comas, vegetables, sleep. are memories or consciousness more valuable? would you live only to see a film of your life, or walk the earth forgetting everything? i guess one is meaningless without the other.
if we all die in the end, is anything worth it? what does it mean to live your life to the fullest? to end it happy? to spend as much time being happy as possible? what is happiness? there are different shades to being sad. which one constitutes happiness? success in the game of life? does currency have more meaning than survival? does saving a life even matter if it's going to end anyway? what does t mean to make a difference if your difference fades into a speck in the timeline of the universe? is inspiring others an appropriate goal for an earth that will eventually cease to exist? everything means nothing. we are a part of a broad history. even when mankind reaches its peak, our era is nothing but a stepping stone on their path to fulfillment. is there any one reason for us to be put on this earth other than to be aware of the sacrifices god has made and appreciate them?
what matters?