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THE PAST
It was stupid. It was so unbelievably stupid to be in love with him. Not that she had a say in it; it wasn't her choice that her heart started to go wild the moment she saw him, or that her lips curled into a smile when she heard his voice. She could lie in the grass for hours, staring at the clouds and imagining about them being together.
Of course she knew that was never going to happen.
Even if he would develop feelings for her some day, he would tell no one. Being together with someone like her would bruise his image, and even though he was pretending he didn't care what people were thinking of him, his image was sacred to him.
And still – still that hope never disappeared completely.
Especially not when she received a text in which he asked her if she had something to do today. She had to read it five times before she had convinced herself that he was really the sender. They had seen each other just yesterday, when she had taken him to a monster truck rally. Actually it was an event she visited annually with her father, but he – to no one's surprise – lacked the time to spend time with his daughter. Instead, he had given her two tickets.
She had bit the bullet and asked Emilio to join her. Two days before they had played paintball and apparently he had enjoyed it enough to agree this time as well.
And now the initiative came from him. Only a day later. She had never expected it, but maybe something was really changing between them. If it was only about the activities they were doing, he wouldn't have sent her a text now, right?
She tried to stay cool; it didn't have to mean anything. Juan and June were still out of town and she had a feeling that he didn't know with who else to hang out. She had already discovered that he had a lot of friends, but Juan was the only one with who he spent one-on-one time and that knowledge only called up more butterflies inside her stomach.
I got no plans for today. You wanna go somewhere?
As long as I can leave this place, he sent back. Ma's naggin that I have to clean up my room if I'm bored and its too fucking hot to do that.
Come to my place. I'm home alone and we got a pool. And cold beer.
Inviting him over might be too much for him, but Jordy had done so with everyone she liked. Their garden was large and beautiful and super chill when the weather was good, but when she was alone it was just boring.
Kay. Where do you live?
She gave him the address and went upstairs to change clothes. Since Emilio had made various comments about her skinniness and small cup, she felt a little insecure when she put on her bikini. She however refused to let him stop her wearing the things she liked. If he wanted to see well filled bikini tops he would have gone to the beach. Still, she put on a pink and light blue dress with white bats in case they wouldn't go swimming at all.
Going downstairs, she put on the stereo system to create a nice atmosphere. It didn't take long before she heard the gravel crunch underneath the tires. She walked towards the garden gate and opened it.
"Hey." He nodded towards her.
Although Jordy wanted to hug him like she hugged all her friends, she didn't do it. The look on his face was telling her that he wasn't sure what he was doing here, regretting the text he had sent her.
"Damn you're such a rich bitch," he said, aiming his eyes at the roofed terrace and bar bordering the swimming pool. "This is a chill place man."
"You sayin' you never heard about my famous pool parties?"
"Nope."
Well, she had to admit it were mainly girls that were coming over and it had never been very wild. Her closest friends weren't the biggest party animals she'd ever seen and most of them were even afraid of guys. But hey, maybe things would change now June and Juan were dating.
"Well, then you've missed some good shit," she winked. She walked with him to the porch, handing him a beer. Hopefully he would stay a little longer, so one alcoholic drink wouldn't hurt.
Popping off the cap of the bottle, he sat down on the edge of the swimming pool, his legs in the water. Jordy dropped down next to him, looking at him from the corner of her eye. Every time they saw each other, they needed to break the ice again. She gave him some time to relax a little; he still didn't seem to know how to act around her. She hoped that there would be a day on which he didn't have to think about it; that he dared to be himself around her. Whoever the real Emilio was, was still a mystery to her. And also to himself, she thought.
"What do you parents do if they're makin' these tons of money?"
"They're both surgeons. My dad's a trauma surgeon, my mom's a brain surgeon." She moved her feet through the water while she looked at the nails she had painted this morning; all in a different color. "They both work out of town. After major surgeries they often stay in a hotel close to the hospitals – or at least that's what they tell me." She laughed a little bitterly; the truth was that she wouldn't be surprised if both were having an affaire. "They're no direct colleagues, they met in med school."
Emilio lit a cigarette. "You wanna become a surgeon too?"
His question surprised her. This was the first time he was interested in her. "I'm not sure what I wanna do, but not anything in healthcare. I wanna travel, be in the open air. Maybe I'm gonna be the next Indiana Jones." She smirked. Barging through the jungle, looking for treasures... yeah that sounded good. "I hate routine. I can't see myself doing the same thing day after day. What about you?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "I have no idea."
"And your parents?"
"Ma's workin' in kindergarten, dad is team captain in a warehouse for car parts." He let out a puff of smoke. "Workin' on cars sounds cool. But my cousin is doin' that and his back is already fucked up, so I'm not sure I want that." He took a drink from his beer. "I'll see."
Jordy nodded. "Yeah, we got time."
A silence fell when they were finishing their beers. Jordy didn't mind; she listened to the music and felt relaxed. Emilio however stared forward. She wondered if there was something on his mind, but she knew he would clam up the moment she would ask.
"Wanna go for a swim?" she asked when he put his bottle on the ground.
He seemed to startle when she pulled him out of his thoughts, and he nodded. "Yeah, okay."
Jordy got up and pulled her dress over her head, then she dived into the water. Turning around, she watched him taking off his shirt. The sight of his tight stomach made the flames flare up inside her. Especially when he jumped into the water and the drops were gliding down his chest, her mouth became dry. Quickly, she put her head under water to cool down.
For a while they enjoyed themselves in the water. He made no hurtful comments about her skinny body and again the hope that he might start to like her blossomed up. She took a volleyball from a box next to the pool and they started to play catch. Every time it took longer before he threw back the ball because he was spinning it on his fingertip. She thought to detect a challenging look in his eyes, making her swim towards him, trying to snap the ball.
She laughed, he chuckled while trying to keep the ball away from her, keeping her at distance with one arm. When she finally succeeded in capturing the ball, she tried to keep it away from him. Hiding the ball between her back and the pool side, she felt her breathing fall heavier when he came to stand very close to her. She could feel the heat radiating from his skin. Their eyes met and for a moment she held her breath. His hands glided to her sides – he pulled her close and tapped the ball from behind her. Laughing, he fell back into the water, the ball in his arms.
His laughter called up all sorts of warm feelings inside her, causing a blush on her cheeks. The spot where he'd touched her, seemed to glow.
As he turned away from her, she forgot about her hesitation and climbed on his back, her arms wrapped around his neck while trying to steal the ball. His back felt wonderful against her stomach.
This had to be a dream, right?
He dived under water, wrestling away from her embrace. When he popped up, there was still a playful look in his eyes – he clearly wasn't annoyed. Jordy had caught the ball again, but before she could do anything with it he grabbed her arm and turned her towards him, so their upper bodies were touching.
They were of the same height. His wet hair stuck to his face, drops found their way between the stubble on his jaws. Damn, he was so handsome... Trying to free herself didn't even cross her mind. For a couple of minutes they just stared at each other. Slowly, his glance glided to her lips.
Jordy felt so nervous she didn't dare to move. Would he kiss her? For a moment she was convinced that his face was coming closer, then he fell backwards in the water.
She splashed down as well, hoping to cool off a bit.
Five minutes later he had hoisted himself on the side of the pool and didn't make a move to leave, so she left the pool as well, spreading a beach towel across the grass. Whether he wanted to hang out a little longer or rather wanted to go home, was up to him. She already felt confused herself; she dared to admit that his head was even more chaotic.
He was still sitting on the edge of the pool, smoking a cigarette. She laid down on her back and closed her eyes, letting the sun dry her. She was already dozing off when he flopped down next to her.
She looked up. Pensively, he stared at her.
Questioning, she raised her eyebrows – if there was a problem he just had to tell her.
"I have a bet with Juan," he said all of a sudden.
It wasn't the first time he brought up his friend – apparently he missed him a lot.
"He thinks I'm too chicken to take you to a lapdance workshop."
His words were so out of the blue that she started to laugh. "How the hell was that deal made?"
Emilio shrugged his shoulders. "Long story. I thought – can't you just tell him that I took you there?"
She chuckled. "Nah, that bet is too hilarious to cheat. If you wanna win, you shouldn't fake it."
He narrowed his eyes, his jaw tensed.
So that was the real reason he was here. Because of a bet with his friend. Although it disappointed her, she decided not to give in to her hurt feelings. It was better to benefit from the situation. "Did he also tell you who should give you that workshop?"
"No," he muttered. "Why?"
Innocently, she shrugged her shoulders. "I can be your teacher." She smirked. "I did a striptease course a while ago – six lessons. Just for fun."
"You did a striptease course?" He stared at her with wide eyes, clearly not sure if he should believe her or not.
"Yeah, gained some experience with the stripper pole too, in case you want to learn that art as well." She smirked. "Once I have a boyfriend, I need something to entertain him, right? I already told you that a night with me is anything but boring."
He rolled his eyes. Maybe it was just her imagination, but it looked less mocking than last time, as if she had stimulated his curiosity this time.
"So... I give you a lapdance, you give me one and then we tell Juan that we've been to a workshop."
"You're fucking serious?"
She shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, why not? You chicken?"
"I don't want a lapdance from you," he grumbled.
"So too chicken. Why am I not surprised?" She smirked. "You're afraid I'm gonna get you excited?"
"As if that would ever happen," he huffed.
"Prove me wrong."
For a few seconds he glared at her, his face just as moody as the day she had told him Juan had promised her a date.
"What have you got to lose?" she asked. "Worst case scenario is that I'm boring you. Then what? What's the inlay anyway?"
"The loser has to wear a fucking dress on the first day of school."
Jordy started to laugh, causing him to narrow his eyes. "Oh, then forget about it. I rather see you in a dress than that I'd get a lapdance from you."
He was still glaring at her. In the end, he looked away from her. "Fine," he grumbled. "You give me that stupid lapdance and tell Juan that we've been to that workshop. Deal?"
"Nah. It's about you givin' a lapdance." She leaned back, supporting herself with her hands in the grass. "Look, it's simple. You're fucked anyway. You're gonna humiliate yourself in front of the whole school by wearing a dress, or I'm the only one around when you're doing that little dance of yours. C'mon man, it can be fun. Don't make such a big deal out of it." She bumped her foot against his.
Immediately he pulled away his foot. Great. He was back in his I'm afraid of an infectious disease-mode.
"Fine," he grumbled eventually. "One dance. And nobody's gonna know."
She grinned. "You really think Juan isn't going to explain why he's wearing a dress?"
With a sigh he had to agree with her. "Now, let's get over with it. What do I have to do?"
"At first not that much. Come." She stood up and pulled him on his feet. On the terrace she picked a chair without armrests and pushed him on it. At the music installation she looked for a suited song; in the end she chose You Shook Me All Night Long from AC/DC.
She put on her dress and started to dance. His tense face was hilarious, making her own trepidation disappear. Whatever would happen, there was no way she would feel more awkward than he.
Dancing she moved closer to him, circling around his chair until she stood behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders. They were so tensed she almost felt sorry for him.
She leaned into him and whispered: "Relax man. You look like you're about to lose your virginity."
He looked over his shoulder, casting her a dark glance. Laughing, she blew a kiss towards him, circling around him, swinging her hips while her hands traveled across her breasts down to her hips. When the chorus started, she pushed his legs apart and rubbed his crotch with her ass. A moment later she stood straight again, turning towards him.
His cheeks were rosy, encouraging her to sit down on his lap. Laying a hand against his cheek she forced him to look at her, her thumb stroking his bottom lip. Gently biting her own lip, she explored his chest with her hand. Slowly, she grind her waist along his.
Initially she had wanted to stop after this, learning him step by step how to do it himself, but when he suddenly grabbed her hips she didn't even think about stopping anymore. Her fingers played with his hair while she pushed back her shoulders, making her breasts come to the front, moving her upper body in a sensual way.
Slowly she started to move her pelvis. It wasn't his deeper breathing alone that told her how excited he was; she could also feel his hard length. There were pangs of lust in her stomach; she wanted to take their swimming clothes off and feel him directly on her skin. When she grind across his erection again he moaned, and in a whim she dipped her head and kissed the crook of his neck. His hands glided to the small of her back, pulling her closer.
She looked up to him. His eyes were dark with lust, his breathing was heavy. She felt his own movements responding to hers; he was enjoying this just as much as she was. For a short moment they looked each other in the eye, like they had done in the water.
Fuck it, she thought.
If he didn't dare to do it, she would. Her hand glided to the back of his head and she pressed her lips against his.
It didn't go as she had hoped.
As if he was hit by lightning, he jumped up and pushed her away. She stumbled backwards and fell on the ground, her legs scraping across the tiles.
"What the fuck are you doing, you stupid bitch," he grumbled, wiping his mouth. "Are you a fucking whore?" He spit at her feet.
Jordy tried to ignore her hurt feelings and got on her feet. "That lapdance was your idea. What the hell did you expect? A game of musical chair?"
"I didn't expect you to kiss me! What the hell man!"
"Oh come on! I felt how excited you were." She nodded to his swimsuit. "Your dick is still fucking hard. You liked it. You got no problem with me grinding against you, so why the hell is a kiss freaking you out?"
"I was just pretending that you were a random hot chick. How the hell would I survive this otherwise without throwing up my guts? Don't you ever dare to kiss me again, you filthy whore."
"Jeez, get over yourself man," she answered annoyed. "You don't have to be such a dick now. How was I supposed to know that you'd make such a big deal out of this. It's just a kiss."
"Everyone would make a big deal out of this! A stripper is supposed to be hot and you're just an ugly clown." He glared at her. "No wonder you needed a class like that; it's the only way to get on a guy's lap. I'm just fucking dumb for even considering to have your ugly ass on my lap, all because of a motherfucking bet."
Jordy snorted. "Agreeing with a bet like that is fucking stupid anyway if you knew from the start that you didn't want it. Were you afraid again that Juan would call you a pussy? It's a little weird that you care so much about his opinion, huh?"
Suddenly he grabbed her chin, his eyes were shooting daggers. "What the fuck does that mean?"
Jordy didn't look away. "I think Juan's opinion is little too important to you. You got a little crush on him, huh? Is that the reason you're such a dick towards June? Little jealous, huh?"
"Don't be such a fucking idiot," he growled. He pushed her backwards, his eyes were still flaming. "But trust me on this; I'd rather fall in love with him than with you, you ugly bitch."
After these words he gave her another hard push, making her stumble and fall into the pool.
It was so unexpected that she panicked for a moment when the water was surrounding her. Gasping for air she reached the surface again. She could just hear how the garden gate slammed shut.
Jordy wrapped her arms around her wet dress, she felt ice cold. Tears were stinging in her eyes.
I should have known.
She was so stupid – so fucking stupid.