Jay July 5, 2016
I stared down at the text message, rereading it for the fourth time. It left no room for misinterpretation. I was done. I was out. End of story. I sent it, letting out a breath of relief. I leaned back in my chair, smiling. I felt lighter already. I glanced at the time and cursed. 6:35 pm already. It was so easy to lose track of time in the studio. Solange and Mama T would be here by now. Bey was already stressed out. I didn't want her to have to deal with them alone. I knew for a fact she hadn't cooked, so I pulled up Domino's website on my phone and walked up to the main floor. No one was there, so I headed upstairs.
I heard voices coming from Sarayah's room. I walked over and peeked in. I raised my eyebrows at the scene in front of me.
Sarayah was sitting in the middle of her bed, Blue in her lap. She was laughing. Solange was in front of them, making faces and gesturing wildly, clearly in the middle of a story. Mama T was sitting beside Sarayah, laughing, hand over her mouth. It was so unbelievably normal. If you walked in on them, you would think they'd known each other forever, just another regular family. I quietly snapped a picture of them. I wanted to have this moment forever.
I felt someone stand beside me. I turned and saw Bey leaning against the other side of the doorway. Messy bun, grey sweatpants paired with a loose white t-shirt. Casual, yet she still looked incredibly beautiful.
She was looking at them with so much longing, it hurt. I reached out, lightly brushing her cheek. To my surprise she smiled at me. Confused, I smiled back.
She turned back to watch them. "You were right."
I nodded. "Yeah...about what?"
She chuckled, shaking her head slightly. "About our daughter. She's still in there. I was worried. I thought–"
She took a breath, cutting off her thought. I rubbed the small of her back, worrying that she was about to break down, but she surprised me yet again by smiling.
"It doesn't matter what I thought, because I was wrong. She's still our girl, Jay. I can see her now."
I silently agreed turning back to Sarayah. She must have sensed us staring at her because she looked up. I saw conflicting emotions flash across her face as she looked at us. I felt a small pain in my chest. Well, being her hero was fun while it lasted. I cleared my throat, getting everyone's attention.
"I'm ordering pizza. What do you ladies want on it?"
"Olive–" Solo began but Blue immediately cut her off.
"NO! JUST CHEESE! Olives are nasty," Blue said, making a face.
Solo laughed. "You don't get a vote. You already ate. In fact, isn't it your bedtime?"
The look Blue gave her was filled with so much betrayal you'd think Solo had shot her dog or something. I smiled at her antics. She definitely got her dramatics from Bey's side.
Blue frowned at Solo, folding her arms across her chest. "You're not my friend."
Bey shook her head, stepping into the room. "Okay, that's enough, Blue. Let's get you ready for bed."
She walked over to Sarayah and leaned down to take Blue. Sarayah moved back to avoid Bey, but if Bey noticed, she didn't say anything. She seemed to be taking everything in stride. I could only pray it would last. I took a moment to watch her leave before refocusing.
"Okay, so. Tell me what you want so we can get this ordered."
I sat in the desk chair, taking their orders. 40 minutes later we were sitting around the table eating. Sarayah was making a weird face, like she wanted to laugh. I shot her a questioning look.
"What's up, Angel?" I asked, taking a bite of my slice.
She chuckled. "Domino's?"
I frowned. "What's wrong with Domino's?"
Solange looked at her curiously. "Yeah, what's wrong with Domino's? You a bougee chick now? We gon' have to fix that. We don't need another Beyoncé in here. We already got one too many."
Bey threw a piece of sundried tomato at her. "I'm not bougee. I just like classy things."
Solange looked at Sarayah. "She's bougee. Always has been, even when we were kids. She probably slid out my mama's vagina in a fake fur coat."
Sarayah burst out laughing, almost choking on her pizza. Beyoncé blushed, but smiled, enjoying the sound of Sarayah's laughter.
"Solange Piaget Knowles, we are in the middle of dinner!" Mama T shouted. "I don't wanna be hearing about vaginas while I'm trying to eat."
"Sorry Mama," she apologized, but as soon as Mama T looked down, she nudged Sarayah and they started giggling.
Sarayah shook her head. "I'm definitely not bougee. I'm sure Jay will attest to that. He saw where I was staying."
I laughed. "Yeah. You couldn't even say that place was infested with roaches. There was way too many of them for that. That was their home base; it was infested with humans. I swear those roaches squaded up on sight."
Sarayah chuckled, shaking her head. My heart soared. She didn't hate me.
"We did not have roaches. But the point is, not bougee."
"So, why you acting brand new bout Domino's?" Solange asked, narrowing her eyes at her.
Sarayah shrugged. "I don't know. Y'all are rich. I didn't think you bought fast food."
"Well, honestly we try to eat healthy, so we generally avoid it, but sometimes we give in. We don't always have time to be cooking," Bey spoke up.
"Plus, you can't cook. So, there's that." Solange added, pointing her pizza slice at Bey.
Bey scowled at her. "Whatever." She turned back to Sarayah. "You should probably know that this is a vegan household."
"You should probably know that this–" Sarayah motioned to herself, "is a carnivore's body."
Solange snorted, and I laughed.
Solange rested her hand on Sarayah's shoulder. "Don't you worry, pipsqueak. Have you seen your mama's ass?"
They both looked at Beyoncé. I felt Bey kick me beneath the table. I rubbed my shin and shot her a look. She was cheesing hard. I gave her a confused look. She mouthed, "she called me 'Mama'". I nodded slowly, not wanting to burst her bubble. Sarayah hadn't directly called her 'Mama', but okay. A win is a win, I guess.
"That is not the ass of a vegan, God as my witness." Solo continued.
"Don't bring God into your nonsense," Mama Tina scolded, from across the table. "And stop with the language. I don't wanna get up, but I will to smack you upside your head."
Solange pouted. "Sorry Mama."
Beyoncé turned back to Solange. "Whatever. You need to calm down Solo, I've only slipped up a few–"
"THOUSAND," Solange interjected quickly. Sarayah laughed looking between them.
"–times." Beyoncé finished, frowning at her.
Sarayah yawned and Bey looked at her.
"Alright, it's been a long day. Time for bed, August." She squeezed her eyes shut. Instantly regretting her words.
Sarayah glared at her but stood up. She put her plate into the sink and walked around the table, saying her good nights. She skipped Beyoncé. When she got to me, she punched me lightly on the shoulder.
"Good night, Jay." She turned on her heels and walked away. I tried not to smile too hard at her little display of affection. I could feel Bey hurting beside me, and I didn't want to make it worse.
"SEE YOU UPSTAIRS, PIPSQUEAK!" Solo yelled after her.
"NO, YOU WON'T!" Sarayah yelled back.
"YEAH I WILL! IT'S A SLEEPOVER! IMMA BE ALL UP ON YOU. HOGGING COVERS AND EVERYTHING!"
Mama T reached over and popped her upside her head. "Stop all that yelling."
I looked at Bey, who was picking at her toppings. I reached out offering her my hand. She smiled, gratefully taking it.
"She was less mean to me tonight." She noted, smiling slightly. I smiled at her positivity.
I squeezed her hand."Progress."
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So, I have some news. I'm going to Europe for a month. I don't know what that means for this book. I won't have a laptop...but I also have chapters written in advance. I don't know how I'd post them though. I'm gonna try. That's all I can promise. I'm sorry 😭