"You will not go inside Sungjae."
Sungjae continued scrubbing his hands instead of answering his senior.
"This is an order."
Sungjae turned around. "No hyung, I need to be inside, I have to be at her side."
Hyunsik sighed seeing his junior with swollen eyes but he can see the determination in them.
"Okay fine, but if you ever make the slightest mistake you have to go out, you understand?" Being emotional inside the operating room won't do anything good.
"I understand."He answered and peered at the operating room where Joy is covered with a cloth, ready for the operation.
His surgeries were always successful, he can't make a mistake here.
" I just need a sec." He said and went where Joy's family is, outside the operating room. They found out after Joy was brought there.
Her father is sitting down on a waiting chair with head hanging low, both hands clasped on as if praying and Yeri is holding her mother's wheelchair. All of them looked up when the door of the operating room opened.
"Oppa, How's unnie?"
Sungjae looked at them and smiled. "She'll be fine, don't worry."
He looked at each one of them. "The surgery might take long which is normal so please don't worry too much, Joy is a strong woman, she'll get by." He said to assure them.
Her mother smiled. "Thank you for assuring us."
Sungjae smiled back and went inside. The smile on his face now gone and was exchanged with a serious expression.
He swears on his grave that she will.
***
As the surgery is ongoing, Rose and Joy's team arrived despite telling Rose that she can't be there but she can't help it.
Kneeling down in front of Joy's mother Rose cried.
"I'm so sorry... It's because of me... Because of me, she's there right now."Rose gasped for air as she apologized. She saw her friend lifeless earlier, that moment she took the bullet for her, felt like it was a slow-motion for her.
Her tears kept on falling on the tiled floor since her head is bowed down, she can't look at her, it's her fault.
"If only... If only I listened to them- If I... I didn't get ahead of myself--" Rose cried harder recalling what happened, even when the guards tried to stop her, she didn't listen to them.
Joy's mother touched both her cheeks making her lookup.
Wiping her tears, Joy's mother smiled. "Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault." she sighed. "I'm to blame because I was the one who wanted her to do this. Protecting you was her job but even if I regret, everything has been done." She soothingly caressed Rose cheeks. "What I know is, my daughter, is happy that she can protect her friend."
Rose's tears fell once again. She has taken her life for granted, doing things that could harm her, putting herself to danger, she didn't know someone else's life is at stake.
"Who is the person who shot my daughter?" Joy's father asked Irene.
Seulgi and Lisa, as well as Irene, looked at each other.
Irene sighed, they will still know even if they don't tell them now.
"Well... It's... Ilhoon." Seeing the shock written on their faces, Irene could only look down out of regret for she knows their relationship with Ilhoon, they treat him not only as Joy's friend but as a son as well.
***
Hours passed, Sungjae and Hyunsik came out of the operating room.
Hyunsik took his mask off and smiled at the people outside.
"She's fine now."
And only then Joy's family was able to breathe properly.
"You can see her later, for now, I suggest that you rest, it's already late." Hyunsik turned to Sungjae, tapping his shoulder. "You fought well, good job. Don't forget to rest."
Sungjae nods his head. He sat down next to Joy's father in which the latter pat his back.
"Thank you for saving my daughter."
Sungjae smiled faintly and only nod his head, letting the tiredness crept in only now that the surgery is done and his girlfriend is in a stable condition.
Joy's family went ahead saying they'll see Joy later after she's sent to her room while her team is still there, he also saw Rose on the other side, sleeping soundly with her head on Seulgi's shoulder.
Sungjae looked up, it's past midnight already, no wonder his feet are aching all over.
Thankfully Joy's spine wasn't damaged and there was no internal damage but the shot was deep that they had a hard time taking the bullet out, she lost lots of blood. It will take a while before she wakes up.
"Hey..."
Sungjae turned to joy's commander which is Irene bowing his head to greet her.
Irene handed him two letters which Sungjae took reluctantly.
"What's... This?" he saw that his name is written on both envelopes.
"Letters written by Joy, all of us writes one every time we are dispatched for a mission. Those two are the letters she wrote for you. She wrote one for you on her first mission and the other one is before this mission, I saw the first one inside her locker so I took it with me. Though she only said to give you the current one if ever something happens to her like today." She said and went back to Rose's side.
Sungjae said his thanks and opened the first letter.
Dear Sungjae,
Hi... Uhm.. How should I start this? If you ever receive this letter means that something happened to me, and I'm sorry for taking you to this when I know you don't love me, maybe that's why I wrote a letter for you.
I'm scared... It's my first ever mission. I'm afraid that I'll mess up even though I train so hard.
It's just that, If I'm ever going to die then atleast, for the last time... I could tell you that I love you.
If my mission is a success then this letter will never reach you for this is the first and last time that I'll send you a letter. You'll never know that when I die, you're still the one who holds my heart. Don't worry... I'm smiling right now :)
As I dissappear in this world, as painful as it maybe, I have to let you go. You won't feel suffocated because I'm not around anymore. I'm truly sorry.
Maybe in another lifetime, I'll see you again.
Goodbye
~Joy
The letter he's holding now is drenched with his tears. He almost gripped it so hard. It's too painful for him. He's oblivious of the people around him anymore.
Sungjae gasped for air while wiping his tears away. He can't bear to read the 2nd letter.
He cried so hard, gripping his shirt right in front of his heart. The lump in his throat is making it hard for him to breath.
With trembling lips he opened the second letter.
Dear Sungjae,
I asked myself for a millions times. 'Am I dreaming?' now that I finally got you.
As much as I want to keep dreaming. It's time for me to wake up... I know... I know you like me, and I'm thankful because all my efforts weren't in vain but you can let go now.
You can let go now.
I wanted to tell you this personally but I was afraid, I still don't want to face my reality. I had to face death just so I could tell you this. Or maybe I just didn't want to see your face when I finally tell you this.
That... You dont have to feel sorry for me any longer. You don't have to feel obligated anymore. That you should reciprocate my love of ten years.
It was sweet of you to take me out on dinner but your attention was actually enough for me. My heart is always beating like crazy whenever your attention is on me. Even though I know... It was because you were sorry.
That's why now, I can finally say that I'm letting you go and all I wish for is your happiness. Even if it's someone else who is at your side...
Goodbye Yook Sungjae
Until next time
~Joy