Harry didn't waltz into my life again for the next five days following that conversation.
By the time the fifth day came along I was more than done with his antics, and definitely determined in finding a way to get a hold of him, because I simply refused to let him tell me something like that and then just pretend I didn't exist. I wanted answers, I definitely did, and I wanted them fast - it only made sense, considering the gravity of the things he'd told me.
Unfortunately, though, I didn't have his phone number, mainly because he'd never bothered to call or text me, so I knew that, if I wanted to talk to him, I had to either ask Joel to give me his number or find him. The first one, of course, wasn't an option, because I was sure that Joel would not only have refused, but would've also got pissed about it, considering that he'd told me to stay away from him multiple times.
So I was left with the second option, and I had to find a way to find him. I was a bit lost about it at first, considering I didn't really know him as a person so I didn't know where he usually hung out and stuff like that, but then I realised that, even though I had no idea about that, I certainly knew where he studied.
On that day, for that reason, I exited my last class with every intention of going to look for him. After all, it wasn't really my fault if he hadn't decided to share his phone number with me, so he could've probably expected me to do something like that.
I entered the psychology building - that was the one right next to mine, with some classes in common with mine, hoping that he was there. I had no idea of what his classes were, so I didn't know if he was at uni at all on that day. I only hoped I would've been lucky, because if he was at home I could've given up every hope of finding him.
I found a list of the classrooms hanging on a wall inside and I looked through it, hoping that I would've managed to find something that could've told me where he was, but there was no use. Checking every class definitely wasn't an option, considering that the building had three floors, so I knew that the only other thing I could've done was to ask someone.
I quickly disregarded the option of asking the secretary, knowing that she would've never released personal information about a student without their explicit permission, so I swallowed my pride and decided to stop the first student I came across. Unfortunately, he had no idea of who Harry was, so I found myself back at square one - and in a slightly more awkward situation.
I stopped some more people, trying to pick only ones that could've been third years just like Harry was, and at about the sixth try I finally came across someone that knew who he was, because he'd shared the class that had just ended with him.
Knowing that that was my best lead, I asked him for directions to that classroom, thanking him quickly before walking up the stairs on the other side of the room as quickly as possible.
When I reached that room, I discovered that the door was closed and I sighed, realising that the next class had probably already started, which meant that I was nowhere close to finding him.
I was about to leave when someone got out of the door, and I couldn't help but ask her as well, hoping that she had any idea of where I could've found Harry. After all, if she was leaving just at the start of the class, it probably meant that she'd attended the one before, and was a bit late.
She sent me a puzzled glance in the second I mentioned Harry. "He's inside, talking to the professor" she said before walking away, and I definitely was infinitely glad that I'd decided not to give up so quickly and ask her as well.
Knowing that he would've probably got out soon as well, I decided to stand on the opposite side of the corridor, where I could easily see the door without having to worry about getting in the path of the rest of the students. I glanced down, suddenly feeling a bit unsure about my idea of going to look for him. I'd only done it because he'd left me with way too many questions and no answers, but I didn't know how Harry would've taken it. What if he'd gotten pissed at me for invading his space? That could've certainly been an option, but it was too late to back out of it.
After what felt like hours the door finally opened again and Harry stepped out, meeting my gaze almost instantly and wasting no time in walking towards me.
"What are you doing here?" He asked in the second he reached me, a somewhat confused look on his face that told me that he certainly hadn't expected me to go look for him.
I shrugged, glaring at a girl that sent us a weird glance as she walked past us, not wanting people to pay attention to our conversation. "If you think you can say something like that and then just ignore me for the time being, you are wrong" I said, turning to look at Harry again.
He raised an eyebrow, sending me a skeptical look, putting his hands in the pockets of his black trench coat. "Why didn't you call me?"
"Well, you see, it turns out I gave you my phone number but you never used it, so I don't have yours" I replied, earning a chuckle from him.
He hummed. "Yeah, we're gonna have to change that."
I gave him a nod, not really caring about that in that moment. I hadn't tried my best to find him just because I didn't have his phone number, that would've been ridiculous. I wanted to continue the conversation we'd started at Joel's party some days before, that we hadn't been able to finish. The truth was, I'd been left extremely confused by what he'd told me, and I knew that the only way to get some answers that would actually make sense was to ask him directly. "I need to know something, Harry" I told him, suddenly lowering my tone, hoping that he would've understood what I was referring to.
He raised his eyebrows, but he didn't give me any specific clue that could've let me know he was on the same page as me. "What is it, thunderstorm?"
"How do you know... that?" I asked him quickly but quietly. "Did you have something to do with it?"
He instantly widened his eyes at my question. "For fuck's sake, you can't ask something like that in a corridor full of people" he said, passing his fingers through his brunette hair nervously as he sent a quick glance around. "Come on, let's move" he added, not waiting for me to agree before grabbing my arm and quickly walking down the corridor, opening a door and pushing me into an empty room before sliding in behind me.
"So?" I asked, turning around to look at him as he closed the door behind us, not without nonchalantly making sure that nobody had noticed us going inside.
He sighed, turning his back to the dark wood of the door. "I didn't kill anyone" he replied, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "I wouldn't have told you about it if I had, that's stupid."
I shrugged, diverting my gaze from him and focusing it on the first row of desks right by our side as I thought about his words. "Maybe you want to shift the blame on someone else?" I then said, looking back at him just in time to catch him staring at me.
"Do you really think I would've told you if that was the case?" He asked me, taking a couple of steps towards me so that he'd be able to be even quieter and still be heard over the sound of voices coming from outside. "Frankly, we know you're gonna investigate what happened. I wouldn't risk it."
I looked up at him, instinctively taking a step back when I noticed how close we were, the action not going unnoticed by Harry, that slightly raised an eyebrow but decided not to say anything. "That's true. I'd never suspect you considering I didn't even know you knew Theo, so you had no reason to do that" I admitted, trying to pretend that nothing had happened at all.
The darkness of the room we were in made an unsettling feeling bubble up in my stomach, and I couldn't help but feel like we shouldn't have got in there, and I didn't know why. It was just an empty classroom, after all, but Harry's simple presence, standing next to me, so close that I could smell his cologne, and staring me down with an impassive and unbothered look in his dark green irises, made me feel as if I was doing something of forbidden.
"Good, glad we agree" he replied, acting as if he was completely unaware of the shift of air between us, and walked towards the door, opening it again and glancing at me as I stepped through it, walking past him. "Don't you have classes or something?"
"I just finished them" I replied, and he hummed.
"Alright, come on." He started walking down the corridor without even giving me enough time to say a single word and I couldn't help but follow him even though I wasn't necessarily enjoying the sudden shift in our conversation.
I instinctively grabbed his wrist to keep him from walking so quickly and he gave me an unreadable glance, but slowed down anyway. "Where are we going?" I asked him curiously. If he thought I would've gone with him just because he'd told me to, he was so wrong.
"Well it's lunchtime, if you really have to bother me I'd like to get something to eat at least" he replied, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his words. It was still a mystery to me how me managed to act in such a friendly, but so rude way at the same time. An oxymoron like that just wasn't supposed to happen, but somehow he managed to make it happen. It was certainly a talent, one I was sure I wasn't very fond of.
"You are so incredibly flattering, Harry" I replied sarcastically, because I knew I wouldn't have let him have the last word, even though it was quite clear that it was his intention. Why else would he have acted like that?
"Thanks, I try" he said, and I couldn't help but shake my head, following him as he walked towards a door on the side of the corridor and pushed it open, revealing a set of stairs that were almost completely empty. It was obvious that everyone preferred to use the major ones. "Let's go from here, there are less people here."
I raised an eyebrow, glancing at him, but followed him down anyway. "Don't want to be seen around with me?"
He rolled his eyes at the hint of something not-better-specified that he heard in my voice as I asked him that question. "Don't want your friends to see you with me" he explained, but his reply didn't do much to clarify the reason behind his actions. I knew that my friends didn't seem to like him, but it certainly didn't seem something he should've worried about. He never seemed to interact with any of them but Joel anyway, and whenever he did it didn't seem to be friendly, but something else entirely.
"Why?" I asked curiously, trying to understand what was going on in his head. Even though I'd known him for over six weeks at that point, I didn't feel any closer to understanding him as a person. He was extremely enigmatic, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was like that on purpose, or if it was only his natural way of being. I wasn't sure which option I would've preferred.
He shrugged just as we reached the ground floor, and I rolled my eyes again. He seemed to have an uncanny talent in starting conversations he had no intention of finishing, and I wasn't sure if I should've let it bother me or not. I didn't like mystery, and he certainly seemed to love to keep his secrets. I preferred it when people were open and honest with me, and lately I'd been feeling as if everyone around me was doing everything but that.
"Does it have to do with the fact that you always seem to be talking to Joel?" I couldn't help but ask, and he instantly turned to look at me.
"You know, you should really stop asking about stuff that doesn't concern you, Raine" he said, a sudden gravity finding its way into his voice, and I noticed that he called me by my name, thing that he only seemed to do whenever he was talking about something important.
I shrugged in an attempt to lessen the sudden heaviness that had fallen over us at his words. "Well, I'd like to know why my best friends hate you." It was certainly something I've been wondering about for quite a while. They'd never been so adamant in making sure I stayed away from someone before, so I was left to wonder if there was something more that they hadn't told me about.
"Oh they do?" He asked, the faintest hint of surprise in his voice, and I couldn't tell if it was ironic, or honest. Harry always had some kind of duality whenever he spoke, and it was hard to tell where the joke ended and the honesty started most of the time. It was unsettling, but I also knew it was something I should've gotten used to if I had any intention of spending time with him. He was just like that, extremely obvious and extremely confusing at the same time, making me wonder how those two aspect could cohabit in the same person, in the same sentence, so peacefully.
I nodded, opening the main door and walking outside, keeping it open for him. the myriad of chatting voices suddenly reaching my ears. "Indigo talks about you as if you were the worst person I could ever get close to."
"Does she really?" He asked, the hint of a smile curving his lips. "That's funny." He fixed a strand of hair that had fallen over his face, letting me give a good look at the many rings on his fingers for a couple of seconds. Why did he wear so many rings? It had to be uncomfortable, but they definitely gave something to the look he had going on, so I couldn't really complain. He seemed to be playing with how dainty he could look still managing to be manly and dominating as well, and even though I couldn't really understand it, I could surely appreciate it.
"Why?" I asked, giving him a suspicious glance as soon as I noticed the sarcastic undertone in his voice. Was there something he too wasn't telling me?
He shrugged. "No specific reason" he replied, and even though it was painfully obvious that he wasn't telling the truth, I couldn't really do anything about it.
I looked down, sighing. The more time I spent with him, the more I felt like there was something he wasn't telling me - and it was clear that that was exactly the case. I didn't like it, because I hated when people kept things from me. I was an essentially curious person, which meant that if someone or something managed to spark my curiosity, then they would've had to feed it as well or else I would've thought and turned around the situation about a thousand times in my mind in hopes of finding the answer, just to end up being tragically disappointed and unsatisfied when I would've realised I would've had no way of discovering the truth on my own.
Considering that, Harry definitely wasn't the kind of person I should've surrounded myself with. He seemed to love to leave people with a thousand questions swimming in their minds, which was about everything I hated. But the issue was, I was already way too curious to just stop talking to him. He was hiding something, and I wanted to know what it was - and I wouldn't have been happy until I would've found out.
"You know, I'm feeling an ice cream" I said all of sudden, deciding to change topic before I got pissed at him for being so mysterious and making me lose my sleep over the things he didn't tell me.
He gave me a weird look. "It's February" he commented, as if that alone was a good enough reason for me to change my mind.
"So what? Are you one of those people?" I asked him, and he sent me a confused glance. "The ones that don't eat cold foods in winter" I specified when I realised that he hadn't understood what I was talking about.
He stopped and stared at me for a couple of seconds. "Fine" he then said going back to walking, and I couldn't help but smile, knowing that I'd won that one.
The conversation went on with a similar tone while we walked, and I ended up discovering that Harry was indeed quite nice to talk to - when he wasn't purposefully keeping things from me, that was. He had a way of always acting like I was bothering him, but it was obvious that that wasn't truly the case, as he could've easily left if it was. He surely didn't seem the kind of person that would've been afraid of doing something like that.
He was detached, but at the same time he wasn't afraid of getting close to me, physically or emotionally speaking, on his own terms, just to detach himself again in the second he decided it was enough. He was extremely confusing and I kind of hated it, but I also didn't mind it, and I couldn't understand why. I was sure that if it'd been someone else I would've been long done with his behaviour, but it was him and he had such a way of presenting himself, and he did it so well that I couldn't even get pissed at him because of it.
We finally reached the ice-cream parlour that was closest to our university and walked inside. I'd been there a couple of times with Indigo that summer, and I'd discovered it was quite good. I really hadn't thought that Harry knew about that place, though. It was just another reminder that he was still a stranger to me, despite the fact that we often seemed to end up spending time with each other.
I ordered a mint and cream ice-cream cone, while Harry went with simple chocolate, surprising me. I would've thought that someone like Harry would've chosen a weird flavour, but he'd managed to surprise me again.
I'd just taken my cone when I saw Harry pull out his wallet to pay, and I was quick to send him a glare when I realised he was taking out way more money than necessary. "Dare to pay for me and I'm not talking to you for the next six months" I told him as I searched for my own wallet in my bag with only one free hand, trying to keep him from going through with it.
He sent an impassive glance my way. "Perfect" he said, a little smile playing on his face as he paid for the both of us under my incredulous gaze.
"You know, I think I might hate you, Harry" I told him quietly as we got out, glaring at him. I hated that he managed to be so infuriating but so endearing at the same time.
He shrugged, not seeming bothered by my words in the slightest as he nonchalantly licked his chocolate ice-cream. "I'd believe you if I didn't know you came looking for me."
I rolled my eyes, resorting to eating my ice-cream just not to end up giving him a sassy remark, that would've only ended up in a similar one from him, that would've resulted in a reply from me and in an endless cycle that would've probably finished in an argument.
We sat on the bench outside the parlour even though it was winter and it was definitely a bit too cold to be spending that much time, and I regretted my decision a little when a freezing wind blew right through us. Of course, though, I would've never admitted it to Harry, so I just closed my coat nonchalantly, sending him a small glance to make sure he hadn't noticed it.
He hadn't, as he was looking right ahead, a pensive look on his face as absentmindedly ate his ice-cream, and for the second time I found myself regretting my choice of food, because, honestly, the way he was eating it should've been illegal. He turned his head to look at me, probably sensing my transfixed stare on him, and I looked away quickly, feeling embarrassed that he'd definitely caught me looking at him.
"Raine" he called me, and I couldn't help but look at him because he'd used my actual name instead of that annoying nickname he always seemed to love bringing up, which meant that whatever it was, it was important. He stared at me for a few seconds, not saying a word, and I was about to ask him what it was when he suddenly patted my nose with his ice-cream.
I widened my eyes in the second I felt the cold wetness on my skin, giving him a shocked look as I quickly tried to come to terms with what he'd done. I passed my finger on the tip of my nose, glaring at him when I felt the stickiness under my fingers. "You did not just do that" I muttered, cleaning myself up at best with the little piece of paper I'd been given with my cone.
"But I did" he said, a smile on his lips, making his dimples pop out, and I frankly couldn't be mad at someone who looked as cute as he did in that moment - which was also a pretty good reason not to stand him in that very same moment.
"What are you, three?" I said rolling my eyes, because I would've never let him know how I was actually feeling about that situation. The truth was, what he'd done was so ridiculous and unexpected, that I couldn't help but be endeared by it.
He gave me a little shrug. "I'm actually twenty-one" he said matter-of-factly.
"I would've never guessed it from your oh so mature behaviour" I replied sarcastically, because it was indeed a quite stupid thing to do, especially at his age, but it was also quite fun, so why should I have even cared? At that point, I should've probably just come to terms with the fact that I would've never understood Harry.
He let out a little chuckle at my words before looking away from me, seeming to think about something. "We shouldn't be doing this, you know" he said, a sudden warmth that I hadn't expected permeating his voice.
"Why?" I asked him, confused. It was a bit too late for him to wonder about something like that, so I couldn't really understand where he was coming from. Was it because my friends didn't like him, or was there more to it?
He shrugged. "Would you believe me if I said it's dangerous?"
"Would you answer me if I were to ask you to elaborate?" I asked him back quickly. He kept bringing stuff like that up, and I was starting to get a bit annoyed because of his way of saying something like that, and then refusing to clarify. I wished he would've just told me what was going on, because at that point it only seemed a bunch of empty nonsense.
"Probably not" he replied truthfully, and I didn't even bother to get pissed at him because of it, because it was so expected.
I shook my head. "Then not really."
He hummed, glancing down at his lap for a second before looking up again, staring straight ahead. "You know, curiosity killed the cat" he said quietly, not looking at me, and I tilted my head at his words. Was he suggesting that telling me more about it would've put me in some kind of danger? I was even more confused than before.
"But satisfaction brought it back" I couldn't help but reply, and he shot me an unreadable glance.
"I'm afraid that isn't a possibility here."
Thank you so much for the 30k! It means a lot to me. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. x
Miki