Chapter 15
"How's she doing?"
We hear mom sigh through the tiny speaker.
"She's doing as well as can be expected. Doctors said that because the cancer is spreading so fast, there isn't much they can do for her."
"So what's going to happen now?" Logan asks
"They're going to keep her under close watch. She said she wanted to stop taking her medicine. They don't expect her to make it to much longer, but she's a fighter."
Thalia puts her hand over his as his fists start to clench.
"Is there anything we can do?" She asks our mom.
"Just start preparing yourselves. It's coming soon. And Logan?"
"Yeah mom?"
"Go easy on your father. He's having a really hard time with this."
"Mom-"
"Please Logan. I can't listen to you guys fighting anymore. Do it for me."
Logan lets out a deep breath.
"Fine"
"Thank you. I have to go guys, grandmas calling me. We love you."
"Love you too." Logan and I say in unison.
After the line clicks Logan leans forward and rests his head in his hands.
Thalia starts rubbing his back.
"I'm so sorry guys." She says with a small voice.
I show her a small smile and grab my phone off the coffee table before heading up to my room.
I sit down on my bed and pull my knees to my chest.
I take out my phone and open my messages. I open my conversation with Josh and start typing.
Hey
Not even a minute later he responds.
Josh: Hey beautiful :) I was just thinking about you.
Do you have a few minutes to talk?
Josh reads my text and then my phone starts ringing.
"Hello?"
"Hey, everything ok?"
I sniffle as tears start pouring out of my eyes.
"No" I barely manage.
"What happened?"
"I just got off the phone with my mom. My grandma doesn't have much longer left. Mom told us to start preparing ourselves. I don't know what to do Josh" I sob
"Hey, shh. It's ok. Give me five minutes and I'll be there"
I hear him move around and rustling in the background.
"No. Logan's here."
"Are you sure? I don't want you to go through this alone"
My heart swells.
"I'm sure. I just needed to hear your voice."
"Anything you need babe" he whispers.
"Talk to me Josh, get my mind off of everything."
I hear him take a deep inhale of breath.
"Well let's see, I talked to my mom earlier. She invited me to her anniversary party. They're celebrating five years together. Kiana told me about her new friend from school, and about the puppy Ron got her for her birthday last month. He's a Welsh Corgi, Kiana named him Dutch."
I hear him chuckle before he continues.
"Ki also told me about the baby bird she saved, it had fallen out of the nest and mom let her take care of it. She has it in a box and she made it all sorts of stuff."
I feel the pain leave my body the more he spoke.
"Tell me something else." I beg him
"I have everything ready for my birthday party except the cake. I'm debating on if I should buy it from a bakery or just make it myself."
"You bake?"
"Yeah, and I can cook pretty well too." He says with a chuckle.
I feel a smile make its way across my face. I didn't know why he had this effect on me, but he always made me forget everything.
"I'm not great at cooking. One time grandma Sandy tried to teach me how to make a baked ziti, and I ended up burning the top, while the bottom hadn't been cooked at all. After I messed it up I felt so bad, but she told me about her first time cooking. She actually set her kitchen on fire."
Josh and I both laugh and then fall into a content silence.
"I wish there was something I could do for you babe" he tells me after a while.
"Don't worry about me Josh I'll be fine eventually."
"I'll always worry about you Kelly. You're amazing and I can't stand to see you hurt."
"I promise I'll be fine. I just need a chance to figure out what I'm going to do now."
He lets out a puff of air.
"Can I come see you again tonight?"
I smile
"Yeah, of course."
"Meet me outside by the lamppost around ten?"
"I'll be there"
"Awesome"
I open my mouth to say something else when a knock sounds from my door.
"Kel? Can I come in?" Logan asks
"Hey I have to go." I whisper into my phone.
"Are you gonna be okay?"
"Yeah I'll be fine"
"Okay. I'll see you tonight"
"Definitely"
We say our goodbyes and hang up before I tell Logan to come in.
He slowly opens the door and walks in, before sitting on my bed.
His hair was ruffled and his clothes were rumpled. His eyes were bright red and puffy. I knew he was taking it just as bad as I was.
I slide over next to him and put my hand on his shoulder.
"I don't know what to do Kel." He whispers
"Me either."
He grabs my hand and squeezes it.
"I wish we could do something. I don't wanna lose her."
"I know Logan. I don't either. But she would want us to remember her and the good times we've had, not the bad times. Not when she was scared and suffering. She wouldn't want us to see her in pain. She wants us to remember her when she was at her best."
Logan's eyes brim with tears. I lay my head on his shoulder.
"Do you remember that time when we were living in the cabin, that her and grandpa brought those water balloons to the bbq? And we snuck up on dad and got him real good while he was cooking the burgers?"
"Or that time that we all went camping at the lake and grandma got that lizard that she put in grandpas pillow? He freaked out at midnight."
Logan and I both chuckle.
"God I'm gonna miss her" he tells me.
"I am too."
"Promise me we'll be okay."
My insides clench and twist. There was no way I could promise that. If he knew that I was sneaking around with Josh, there is no way he would ever forgive me.
"Kelly?" He says nudging me with his arm.
"Hm?"
"Can you promise me that after grandma dies we'll always have each other? Promise me we'll always be ok."
I hated lying to him. I didn't want to break the promise to him, and I knew I would be. But right now he needed the reassurance. He needed to know that I'd always be around.
"I promise Logan"