Avni
Any other person in my place being in this state, would have doing happy dances receiving such heart fluttering confession from the person she dreams of has actually said those words she was dying to hear from him since decades. He has finally uttered the L word to her. But I'm not that lucky to fancy such words in my life time hearing from him. Not in this life atleast.
It would be nothing but a perilous act if I get myself into involved with Neil.
With my dropping heart I slowly opened my eyes, assembled back all my strength. My full gaze over him now, I pulled away my hold off his grip. This has to be done for the betterment of all of us. I keep repeating in my head.
His eyes narrowed but he is smiling.There was something unusual in his moves I couldn't interpret first.
My brows furrowed having a good look over Neil, the way he motioned me something unfathomable with his blinking eyes, was nothing but a proof he is inebriated. No no this would have been least to be happened.
Holding my thumping heart my eyes accessed Neil head to toe, to make sure if my assimilation is correct. He is staggering to his feet. How didn't I see it at the first place? This thought irked me to the core.
He was about to fall I reckoned and next moment his arm in my tight grip giving him a support so that his face don't hit the ground. Crap. He is so heavy.
"Neil are you okay!!" My voice concerned holding my grip much firmly over him.
"damn!!
I'm just worried exactly about all this..koi sunta kaha hai meri.." I muttered through my gritted teeth followed by some profanity under my harsh breathing, obviously know one heard it around. I held his arm switched my position to his left, to give him some better support.
"Avu!!Avu!!" he is calling me in a drowsy tone. I let out a groan. I'm not at all enjoying this clingy Neil.
My eyes glared. What does he want now? I felt my mouth bitter when I saw him smiling sheepishly. Oh god not now please.
"Avu!!"he brought his lips to my ears whispered this time and the nerves in my body all went in alert mode. Crap.
Our lips are just an inch apart. A loud gruff gasp slipped out my mouth at this breath hitching proximity. I'm doomed.
"Tu ne. mujhe. I love you too nahi kaha" his grumpy words were with lots of breaks. Pouting in beef his gaze halted at my lips for some seconds then they shifted back on my trembling orbs. I swallowed hard.
My state is...Damn. I can't explain either.
I mean what would I react!! even I don't know what should I feel.. should I feel happy for the fact that the person whom I'm loving since I had understood the meaning of the word LOVE, has finally spilled out those words that I always avoided to hear from him. I mean I have tried every possible alibi not to move things between us to that direction. I used to divert the topic everytime he intended to give me those love hints..but the fact is_it says,the more you would try to run away, the more it will chase you.
Or should I cry?
I'm on my way having a tremendous headache soon.
I exhaled deeply.
Why don't he understand I could never be his perfect companion..Never!!!
We are not made for each other..My Neil deserve the best..someone...someone like yeah, JUHI..
She is perfect for him in every means..
She is smart, she is beautiful,she is established and the most important part is Juhi likes him too.
Neil will be happier with her, no way someone like me.
Out of blue a lone tear escaped my eyes. Whilst blinking away it I smiled through my heavy heart. My subconscious is always right though.
Few hours ago.
"Sun Avu idhar aa.."SwetaMom dragged me lil afar away everyone when Neil Shivam Aravi Aman Juhi all were busy doing their moves challenging the beats.
"Haan Sweta Mom boliye" I smiled said as soon as I reached walked her.
"Ye Juhi kaisi larki hai? I mean you were her roommate during your medical days..so..."She left her sentence complete, stared at me reluctantly for my response.
Instantly I understood what she exactly wanted to get out of me. And I did what was right at the moment.
"She is a nice girl and Punjabi too" I smiled groofily gazing at her, replied.
When her surprised gaze turned into glee at my reply I couldn't resist stared at her and thought how cute she look when she become happy.
"Tubhi wohi soch rai hai jo main sochrai hu.."she asked shifting her gaze on Neil then Juhi afar.
I chuckled looking at her countenance. Sometimes really act like some teenage girl in grade school.
"To kuch plan karte hai chal..
Meri baat to sunega nai Tillu he is 30 now I'm saying him since he joined the Khanna Industries but he just has to always dodging my words.. god knows whom he is waiting for..
Even Your Uncle and Bebe is also not much interested in this topic..as if they has lost all hope on it. I can't understand why they behave like this when it comes on their own Son's marriage thing?" Sweta Mom threw all her vexation in a single breath and my lips didn't fade the smile I was wearing.
"Don't worry Mom I'll do something..this time I'll make sure Tillu can't escape anywhere without mingling to someone.." I'm having my one arm around her shoulder. I beamed assuring her.
"Really Avii" she asked being elated, took my other hand in her.
I looked at her smiling face that was waiting for my reply.
I blinked my eyes, chuckled.
"Bass I don't have to worry now for anything because my daughter Avni has taken the responsibility of my Tillu ka future so I'll just lean on the back seat and enjoy the entire wedding..Mela bachha.."Sweta Mom kissed on my forehead then smiled being satisfied. Heaving a sigh She threw her gaze over Neil afar.
I admit this time I forced a smile wide blinking away my tears behind my glasses which Sweta Mom didn't notice. Good for her she didn't.
sucking a deep breath I wrapped my both arms around her .This time she chuckled in relief.
Present time.
All I want to do right now is run afar somewhere, hide myself and sob copiously; scream my chest out. let it all out I had buried those emotions deep inside me.
No Avni you can't be so weak. When you herself choose this.
If I take hundred steps away he take thousand steps closer to me.
But not this time Tillu.. not anymore..
I'll make things perfect for him it's my promise to my LOVE , to my all those unshade tears I swallowed down over him uncountable times.
Yup my decision may lead him in a condition tormenting, unbearable. I know. But it will be nothing permanent, I will make sure with all my heart he overcome it soon.
Subsequently someday he would get over it. I'll help him in this if he would need me.
Perhaps then some years later he shall be praising me for my decision today, that not responding him in a way he wants from me.
I shifted my eyes straight somewhere blankly, at nowhere in particular. Later I came back to my state out of that sheer wanton mulling over.
"Neil come sit here let me call someone" I cajoled, ushered him sit on a chair close to me so that I don't lost him at this state he is in.
I straighten my stance, spread my gaze around to spot my Didu.
"Avuu Mmy chhhotu Babu" I heard him calling me and my face clenched.
His words made my head whirled really hard. He has appeared awfully unfazed, leaning his back to the backrest grining at me.
I have enough of his banters by now, dodging my eyes away him I scanned the area around in search of Jiju or Aman or Didu or Juhi. Any of them would be in help if I catch a single familiar face at the moment. Unfortunately I didn't spot any of them. Where the hell they have all vanished?
'Avni" he again called my name. This time more louder than before without any stammering in his speech.
I flinched at this sudden volume of his voice came out this intense.
"What???" I responded, glanced at him tentatively, tried to appear impassive.
"Avu say na I love you too Tillu!! You haven't said that yet" grunting his countenance was like a baby, who is convincing his mamma to have another ice-cream after finishing one full..oh god why he is so cute! I couldn't bite back let out a light chuckle watching him.
I moved squatted on my toes, my arms over the hand-rest both the sides of his chair..he leaned closer to me tried to keep his drooping eyes wider.
I eyed at his every moves_the way he is staring at me, the way his cheeks flushing, the way he called my name making it short sweet nothing and the way he called me His Love few minutes ago.
A bigger part of me just want to jump on his chest, hug him really tight, rain kisses all over his face, over that cute pout really hard shoving all the barriers out of my mind.
Simultaneously a small part of me wouldn't allow me to do such grave. It is small but the most powerful self of me; kind of eccentric, overly logical in an ironical sense to be precise.
Our fate has been written to be parted, to be separated.. Avneil aren't meant to be together..The Almighty God hasn't permitted me to love someone....To hold someone, to say someone my future family, my own family..Yess it won't be happening ever..
Mom says I'm a God's special child so he has chosen special path for me to walk through my destiny.
Huh!! waaow!! what an irony.. a derisive scoff left out my chest. I heaved a deep sigh rethinking my mom's words of covering up for me.
Yes I love him. I love my Tillu so much.. hundred thousand infinity times more than I love myself..
Yess I want to bring all those words from my heart out before him in such a beautiful way, he wants me to. And some more things which he never imagined of getting out of me..
Besides , Yeah there is a big But God has sent in my life.. On this I took off my glasses, wiped my tearful eyes with the backside of my palm, exhaled hard through my excruciating chest. I put back my glasses, adjusted it properly on it's spot. Then I pulled myself off the sitting position with a abrupt jerk.
Neil stared at me with his frazzle, nonplus.
Anyways I have to move him as fast as possible or he would make things really abash for me. None should know any of this.
I felt someone patted on my shoulder from behind..I turned and there my rescue, my Didu..
I have finally found my Didu. Or better she found me.
I sighed as if a burden has been hauled down my chest.
Juhi arrived behind her as well.
"Thank god Didu you are here.
I was actually looking for you since......."
She raised her arm stopped me while her face formed a deep frown when her gaze sensed something bizarre in Neil's demeanor.
"Ye Neil Ko kya hua!! why he is sitting like this" Didu asked. she was halfway squatting down to Neil but quickly dashed past over her I took the cue.
Neil rose his eyes beamed at Didu then shifted his impish gaze over me. I grew panicking, bit my lips praying inwardly.
Next second his finger rose pointing towards me. Holly crap.
Neil was just on his way resuming his blabbering but I quickly clasped my palm over his mouth, glared at him to keep quiet.
"Neil what do you want me to I'll say to you.. before that you have to be quite.. okkky" I muttered whatever came into my mind at that moment hiding my anxious facade away didu.
He looked at my hand on his mouth then at my didu then his eyes at me back. His eyes squinted. Neil blinked his eye few times not to decipher what to do.
I winched in terror he when he shook his head defying me. Great.
I was helpless I was like almost crying at my fate. Here I am trying to make things avoidable and there he is making it more complicated.
why god why me always? I gained myself moved closer to his face and whispered, tried to put some sense in that imbecile head currently.
"You are my Tillu right!! won't you listen to me!!" Now my turn to use his trick on him.
"hey what are you mumbling Avi!!!and why are you palmed his mouth shut!! leave him.." reprimanding Didu shoved my hand away his lips.
I had to straightened up my stance as Didi past over me towards him. With her sudden ambush of words caused my scalp prickled.
Neil rose up after me still not able to stand straight. It seems he has found something very amusing the way his eyes danced rising off his seat with all his body strength.
"Yess your Bonu is very bad Ar Ar rror.."he fumbled struggling to say something more but to my luck he withdrew speaking. I huffed inwardly.
"Why!? what has she done?" Didu asked. Her doubtful glance moved back and forth over both of us.
"She is not giving me the answer..not saying me Tillu I I I I.." he started and I felt my hands clammy.
"Neiiill.."I yelled lil louder to stop him panting.
Neil startled and Didu flinched at my shriek this precipitous.
I looked at them smiled nervously then my focus back to him. The sole reason to this trouble Mr. Neil Khanna the great.
"Didu he want me to take him home.." I tried every possible way to divert them.
Juhi frowned, moving past us reaching Neil she was ready confronting Neil.
"Nope he was saying something else.. Neil.. haina?" Juhi hold his shoulder to match his eyes.
Neil nodded blinking his eyes, fumbled backward a step away not able be to stand still.
I immediately caught hold of him.
"Look at him guys, he is not in his normal self. Please call Aman we have to take him home right now. Even he is all drenched he must need to change as soon as possible or he will catch cold.." I said in a worried voice hoping this time I could win diverting them. Though everything I said is true.
In the meantime our gaze shot to Jiju and Aman who was advancing towards us having hold around eachother's shoulder with their noticably unsteady steps. Moving past us they walked to the empty chairs, sprawled on grabbing them.
Leanings on his chair Aman's attention finally turned to us and it was instantaneous he noticed Neil with us. His eyes shot being unsure to get a good view over.
"Hey!! Wait ye bhae Ko kya hua?" Aman asked slowly pushing his back away the backrest, threw a questionable forehead crease.
"Tillu got talli..And we are planning to send him home.."
Didu replied languorously with a cheeky smile at the end. And Juhi joined her with a short giggle. I took a glance covertly over all of them growing apprehensive.
Aman got muted for some seconds looking at us speechless then his gaze turned over Jiju sitting next to him with the same face as Aman. But not much longer they kept looking at eachother with that silence.
Within a minute next blowing a weird sound out of his mouth Aman burst into grating laughter holding his stomach throwing his head backward. And the funny yet irritating part is Shivam Jiju joined him in that harsh laughter challenge. I so want to bang my head somewhere.
Shivam Jiju and Aman laughed insanely for few minutes pointing their fingers at us. And we stood there all with different emotions.
Neil also about to join them getting off his seat but me and Didu instantly grabbed him.
Neil made a cry face when he got himself under our control. We totally evaded him though.
When Aman finally noticed they are the centre of attraction there. Slowing down his cackle Aman patted on Jiju's arm motioned him to stop his awful laughter. Some how they both managed to sober up themselves. Soon their laughter alleviated.
Aman raised his hand for different reason this time. He gestured us to hold on.
"Okay okay girls don't be mad..I'll take bhae home even I'm fully drenched you see!!" Aman stated beaming.
"Hey dddon't be so pan....panic you people can change into my cloth.. clothes.."Jiju faltered with the words. Is he woozy too? My eyes zoomed over him in horror so did Juhi the same I observed.
"No Shivam Jiju I mean we both brothers are fully drenched A to Z so I think we should go to our home otherwise we would be in trouble.. You know what I mean" he sent a roughish look over Jiju. In reply Jiju winked.
Didu cleared her throats, Juhi flashed a sinister smirk and I rolled my eyes to avoid the uneasiness.
Thereafter they hurried taking Neil along with us towards the parking.
******
Aman rushed to settle in the driver seat, I was about to make Neil sit beside him but before that Aman interrupted.
"Hey Avni don't make him sit on the front seat. For his safety purpose.
You both go and sit behind, you have to hold him..u know what I mean we can't leave him behind all alone.." not to my likings he stated, waited for my answer.
"Iiiiamm not going with you guys..Iiii mean.." I didn't know what to reason out, yet still I tried.
"No Avni, Aman is absolutely right he shouldn't be seated in front nor alone on the back seat. it won't be safe.. you go with them even I would say take Juhi with you guys along." Didu's voice from behind.
I looked at Neil once then back at them, thought for a while.
"Okay then Juhi come sit with him I'll sit at the front passenger seat.."
I suggested. It will be a bad idea if I seat with him when he is in this condition.
"No way!! have you gone out of your mind Avi? I won't be comfortable sitting with him on the back seat..I mean please!!! spare me.. I can company you guys but please don't request me to sit beside holding him and all.." Juhi made it clear forming her face what-the-hell-wrong-with -you-guys.
I let out a defeated sigh, walked towards the back seat holding Neil. His one arm in my hold and another one around Jiju's shoulder.. Didu came quickly before us to opened the door and then discreetly we made him sit..I got inside after him sat next to him closed the door. He is weirdly quite now.
Neil smiled cutely having me near him..he immediately grabbed my arm interlaced his fingers with mine tightly as if he would never let me go off me I couldn't help my lips curved a smile at his this adorable act. If he knew.
I felt his head on my shoulder to his side and Neil set his eyes closed put a most peaceful face I have ever seen him made.
Juhi climbed on the front passanger seat next to Aman.
Aman and Juhi turned their heads at the back in almost together towards us they both gave a grin and I scowled.
Didu was standing leaning to the car window pane.
"Awww He is so cute" Didu said her eyes at Neil then shifted at me.
Groaning I rolled my eyes and they all giggled.Aman revived the engine. Di moved away.
"Don't worry I'll manage our Parents" Didu shouted behind.
I saw from the rear mirror Jiju held Didu took her inside.
I clutched our intertwined hands tightly close to my heart. I leaned against the seat, shut my eyes.
I realised a sigh cathartic.
Lets live this moment some more. He won't remember any of it tomorrow.
Sachhi Muhabbat shayad wahi hai..
Jismein junoon hai
jismein junoon hao..
Parda dilonki yaari mein bhi to kitna Sukoon hai
kitna Sukoon hai..
Dekey mujhey teri Judai maana Rabne mujhey Paigam Diya..
Channa mere aa mere aa channa mere aa mere aa channa mere aa mere aa beliya..
*******
The Secret of Avni's life will be unfolded soon..And you guys will get to see an impatient lover boy Neil Khanna in my up-coming chapters.
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Love you all My Cuties 😚😚
Love Mon ❣️💖

Fidhamashood here is the next chappie Dearie🤗🤗hope you like this effort 💝💝