[ ,, imagen yourself naked with a guy or a girl which do you prefer or do you even care?" ]
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I turned around on the bed my hand landing on the free spot besides me. I was wondering why it felt so empty, why jongins hands weren't around me like usual when we slept.
Wondering where he was after I waited a couple of more minutes, I ended up pushing the blankets off of me.
It was starting to get harder to move with that big stomach . It was rather annoying sometimes especially now when I needed to sit up and it took more effort then it should.
My legs swun over the edge of the bed as I got up and onto my feet holding my stomach in one hand while the other had pushed me off.
Tiredly I started heading for the bathroom first since I knew he would probably just be there not daring to go further away from my side after everything that happened..
but why did he take so long ?
,, nini ?" I asked carefully placing my hand on the door when unnoticed that it wasn't completely shut.
I heard him inhale shakingly making me frown as I stepped inside to see him sitting on the closed toilet seat, he whipped over his face looking the other way as he straightened his posture quickly.
My frown hardened in worry
,, jongin ?" I got closer when he was about to get up and pushed him back down ,, what's wrong ?"
He just looked at me when I got down in front of him as he run his hand through his messy hair not meeting my eyes. I noticed his eyes were red and It made my frown softened feelig rather concerned now when I moved his head by his cheeks to finally look at me. ,, what's wrong jongin ?"
,, ..nothing " he sighed moving my hands away ,, your cold .. You should get back to bed I'm sorry for waking you up"
,, you didn't wake me .. And I'm fine just tell me what's wrong ? Was it a nightmare again ?" I asked carefully. He had been having nightmares now and then and usually he would talk to me about them. If it were about his parents or .. kris, the pack or even krystal he would talk to me about it but ever since the moongoddess had talked to me.. he didn't so I knew it had something to do with it.
,, do you want to talk about it ?"
He rested his head on his hand that's placed on his forward while his arm was steadied by his elbow on his knee.
,, nini.." I tested the nickname hesitantly hoping he would open up then.
But he didn't instead I found him shake slightly as he started crying again. ,, talk to me .. You clearly need it please" I was worrying and I didn't know what else to do.
,, I hate this .. " he finally spoke as he whipped over his face to calm while sitting up straight again ,, come on I can't have you sitting on the cold floor " he mumbled pulling me up with him gently but my expression remained concerned when I grabbed his hand instead he started walking back to the bedroom.
Stopping before the bed he expected me to just climb in and not talk about it but I wasn't going to have that.
,, jongin no " I stopped him from walking around the bed by grabbing onto his arm.
His eyes closed in what I assumed annoyance as he obviously didn't want to talk about it. But i knew he needed to so I wouldn't back down.
,, what did you dream ?"
He turned his head to look at me and I noticed how my eyes were glowing a little making everything near me appear blue because it was still dark.
I blinked trying to make it stop but it wouldn't and before I could try anything else he had cupped my face again looking into my eyes as if to examine them again.
And just like that the bright colour faded, he sighed taking a seat besides me when he now took my hand instead.
,, it was you.. " he started only glancing at my hands
,, I was holding you in my arms, Sehun had our son in his and..
God, he was so beautiful... B-but you couldn't see him..
Y-you were aleardy dead"
I swallowed pulling my hand out of his to move closer to him as he was about to cry again, I had leaned my forehead gently against his, closing my eyes and listening to his breathing.
I didn't know what to say.. It was obviously troubling him aswell, he appeard so strong in front of the pack but on the inside he just wanted to break down.
,, I held you like this once kyungsoo, i can't take it another time I just can't.. I relay don't want to lose you "
I hushed him cupping his face instead to calm him down when I moved to kiss his forehead.
,, everything is going to be alright jongin.. You worry too much.. You always do" I finally started moving away only a little to look into his eyes and smile faintly ,, I don't plan on going anywhere ok, I know we will make it through somehow"
It's crazy how much easier it was to tell a lie than to confront the truth.
,, we will figure it out "
His hands moved around me when he finally leaned the rest forward connecting our lips together to move them in a slow pace as he lowered me gently back onto the mattress.
He deepened the kiss, yet made sure to still hold back. We won't be doing anything more for now we both knew that and neither of us wanted to step over the line.
He ended up retreating slowly placing kisses onto my cheek and making me giggle softly as he hurried his face in my neck inhaling my scent strongly as he wrapped his arms around me and rolled over to the side so we would both be laying on the mattress.
I moved my arms around him aswell hurrying my nose in his hair as I closed my eyes.
Maybe there was another option, maybe we would relay figure one out so that me and jongin could raise our kid together.
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,, no I was saying it because those glasses made you look like a scientist " laughter appeard from the kitchen as I walked toward it to get kyungsoos food, he was whining earlier that he needed that rabbi know more than anything.
I rolled my eyes ignoring the scene when I entered to see Sehun mean if backward over the counter while hyunsik was in front of him his hand around his wrist to keep him in place while Sehun was holding some glasses in his hand that was stretched out upwards tryig to keep it away from hyunsik grasp.
They both patterned in embarrassment but I couldn't care less at the moment ,, don't make any mess got it "
My head was too much of a mess still, I've been having a couple of nightmares lately of the possible outcomes that could accrue once the baby was born and I hated the once that ended in kyungsoos death. It terrified me to even think of it.
Even if kyungsoo had made me feel a little more at ease by holding onto me aswell and assuring me to not worry too much. I couldn't help but still be afraid, I knew it wasn't what mattered the most at his very moment .
I told myself and realized that yesterday before I fell asleep again. I can't keep getting scared of the future in need to focus on now and make it the best. For now all that matters is to keep my pack together aswell as to protect it. Especially kyungsoo and my kid.
,, ew he still eats that ?" Sehun gagged in disgust when u pulled out another rabbit cutting it open to pull the meat out and remove all the skin and fur, while Sehun turned away.
,, baekhyun said it actually helps him a lot, he gets his strength back and even finally gains some weight again so yeah Sehun he still eats that" I defended but smirked a little as I threw a piece at him.
He screamed like a teenage girl being chased in a horror movie shaking his whole body in disgust which even made hyunsik chuckle at him.
I ended up throwing another piece of hyunsik and he stopped laughing at that giving me the joy of the day at his expression .,, when he says don't make a mess "
,, I wasn't talking about this kind of mess " I started, turning back to the rabbit as I put the cut pieces on a plate heading for the door ,, mating is only tolerated in the own room"
I could only hear Sehun gasp when I left the room and continued heading upstairs leaving them to their own awkward situation.
I went up the stairs heading back to the bedroom when I smelled something weird in the air.
I frowned confused trying to pinpoint this familiar scent before I entered the room.
Kyungsoo turned to me on the bed sitting up and reaching his hands out for the plate. ,, massage me Too " he whined and I chuckled at how cute he looked wiggling his fingers needy with closed eyes.
I handed him the plate and sat down behind him raising my fingers to massage him.
,, how'd you sleep ?" He asked between the chewing.
,, fine, don't worry " he turned around looking at me in focus.
,, no more nightmares I pregnant slept through?"
I couldn't help and laugh kissing his cheek and laying my chin onto his shoulder as I back hugged him and he turned back to chewing his meat as I answered ,, no more nightmares"
He smiled and I scrunched my nose up moving away again when he licked the bloody plate before over his smeard lips.
,, kiss?" He teased
I pushed him away ,, not before you brush your teeth "
He giggled getting out of me when he handed me the plate ,, so sensitive "
He muttered as he made his way to the bathroom again. I noticed he was bare foot and it made him look cute as he was simply wearing an oversized shirt and some short sleeping pyjama pants. Almost completely disappearing under this long t-shirt.
His legs were gorgeous.gotta say I missed a sudden addition to our relationship after he got pregnant..
I turned my head when I sense a suspicious noise of something clicking from outside. It made me frown as I moved toward the window, leaning my hands over the edge as I glanced down into the snow and in between the trees looking for whatever metal could be made the clicking noise..
But as I was paying attention now I couldn't see anything and the only thing I heard where hyunsik with Sehun having fun downstairs some whispers from next door probably baekhyun with chanyeol.. And the gentle breeze of the cold wind feom outside.
,, what are you looking at ?" Kyungsoo appeard besides me again, leaning over the edge just a little more than me to look for himself.
,, nothing.. I just thought I hear-"
My sentence was cut off when the sound of the door bell appeard, followed by a rather aggressive knocking from downstairs.
Kyungsoo face turned to me as he stared in utter irritation yet fear.
Who the fuck was that ?
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[ a storm is coming closer and oh boi I don't even know how to write it 😂 I have A decision to make and I can't tell if it's an easy decision or not..]