"When the exodus ship came down... my mom was on it. The parachutes never went up, they didn't slow down, there were no cries for help, they just hit the ground and exploded. As far as we could tell there were no survivors, we only found the hydrozine that Raven used to make that tin can bomb. I lost my mother, I lost fun and now we're losing our humanity..."
"Clarke?" Lydia let out a soft breath from where she knelt beside Clark's bed, "Please don't cry, I'm sorry I didn't know about any of this and that I wasn't here for you, I've been too wrapped up in Bellamy and Murphy and that was selfish of me. I should've been here for you, I should've been here for my best friend instead."
"It's okay Lyds, you've had your own problems, you got shot, you got high on Jobi nuts and then you got sick too remember?"
"Yeah my life is a mess, huh?" The two girls laughed, "Look... about your mom, wherever she is, I'm sure she's proud of you and what you've accomplished for everyone here. If I hadn't known you when I was in lock up I probably would've killed myself, I thought about it every day, but I had you. You're the reason I'm alive Clarke, you're the reason everyone here is alive, and if I was your mom I'd be a hell of a lot proud of you."
"You really think so?" The short girl sniffed, sitting up at the edge of her bed.
"I know so." Lydia pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her friends head, "Now come on, let's go get you something to eat."
"I'm not hungry." Clarke rolled her eyes in annoyance, but still she allowed Lydia to take her hand and followed her to the campfire.
"You're eating something."
"Are you my mom now?"
"Someone's gotta raises all of your asses."
The two girls spent over an hour sat in front of the fire, laughing, talking and sharing secrets. No one bothered them, not even for a single second, not even Bellamy who watched the pair from a far with a soft smile dared to ruin their moment. After everything they'd been through they needed their time.
"So how does it feel?"
"How does what feel?" Lydia rose a brow, she was confused but didn't allow it to effect her too much as she carried on eating.
"To be in love with an older man?" Clarke let out a loud laugh, it was the first time she'd really been able to be so carefree in what felt like forever, it felt good.
"Shut up!" Lydia hissed quickly placing a hand over Clarke's mouth, "He's literally stood over there."
"So you do love him?"
"I think so, or at least that's what everyone tells me."
"When you're in love, you know... I guess I must've loved Finn, maybe I even still do a little, I know that now, but he broke my heart... and I can't forgive that."
Silently the blonde girl turned in her seat and her eyes instantly fell upon the curly haired man. He stood laughing with Jasper and Monty, Lydia had never seen him so happy, but then his eyes met hers and his loud laughter faded to a gentle smile. And that was it.
"Oh fuck..." Lydia mumbled turning back towards Clarke. "I do love him."
"Anyone can tell Lyds, you're his weak spot.
"Weak spot?"
"Any time anything happens to you he looks like his entire world is about to fall apart."
"Kinda how Finn looks at you?"
"Boys are too complicated." Clarke huffed, her head fell to rest against the younger girl's shoulder, "Why couldn't I have just fallen in love with you instead?"
"Maybe some day." Lyds chuckled
***
"Fire!" A voice yelled out and instantly the delinquents camp descended into chaos once more.
Lydia frantically grabbed her coat before fleeing from Bellamy's tent and out into the open. The smokehouse was up in flames and a coughing Octavia lay beside it in Bellamy's arms. Lydia's small body instantly ran cold, where was Murphy?
"John!" The girl screamed before sprinting forwards, leaping over the flames and into the smokehouse.
She could hear Bellamy call her name from outside, pleading with her to come back to him, as did Octavia and the rest of her friends, but she wasn't going to give up until John was back in her arms.
"Lydia..." the boy called out from the corner of the room
Without hesitation she made her way over to him and pulled him up to his feet. Murphy used his jacket to cover the both of their mouths as they waded their way through the flames. A matter of seconds later they fell to the ground and the cool breathable earth air hit them once more.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Murphy hissed as he pulled her to her feet.
"I was thinking that my big brother was trapped and I needed to save him."
"You could've gotten killed, what would I do then?" The boys eyes fell upon another boy, the one who had been working in the smokehouse with him and Octavia, and his body filled with rage, "This is all your fault! We told you it was too much wood!"
"Get the hell away from me!" The boy yelled before Murphy punched him in the jaw. Again and again and again.
"Hey! Hey! Stop!" Bellamy called out as he and Lydia wrestled the two boys apart. The small girl shoved the other boy back before wrapping her arms around Murphy's middle, all the while Bellamy kept them at arms length.
"Murphy stop!" Lydia hissed
"Save it for the grounders." Bell told him, immediately Murphy walked away with a grin upon his face.
"Are you okay?" Bellamy turned to the younger girl, his palms pressed to either side of her face."
"I will be." She told him
"Bell, now what the hell are we gonna do? That was all the food!"
And yet another problem.
***
"Since there's no food left we're sending anyone we can spare out hunting, anyone who might slow them down stays here. That means you Lyds."
"But why? You know I'm great with a knife, I can handle myself!"
"It's too much of a risk. You're still limping from where you got shot with that arrow, if you got attacked by grounders you'd be a liability." Bellamy rolled his eyes, not even turning around to look at Lydia as he busied himself with yet another pointless thing on the desk in his tent.
Lyds let out a groan from where she sat on his bed, "So that's what I am to you now? A liability?"
"No I just... I don't want you to get stuck out there and get hurt. That's why you're staying here with me, so I can keep an eye on you."
"I'm not a child Bellamy!" With that said, the younger girl turned grasped ahold of one of Bellamy's pillows and threw it at his head. It bounced off of his shoulder and hit the floor.
"I'd say that's pretty childish, wouldn't you?"
"You drive me insane!"
"Trust me I know the feeling."
The pair shot each other an annoyed look before completely turning away, as of lately despite being so undoubtedly in love with one another they'd been bickering to no end and it was driving them both crazy. But that's what love does after all.
"You know what? I'm gonna go join the others, I can't sit here and argue with you."
"Fine! Go! See if I care!
"If you try to leave camp I'll know, I need you to stay here and take charge of things after all, even if your a pain in my ass, you're still my number one."
"Even if you hate to admit it." The Greystone girl sighed and slumped down in her place.
Bellamy rolled his eyes once more before kneeling beside the bed, his hands found hers, "I don't hate to admit it, I just don't want anyone to try to take you from me, if the grounders know how I feel about you, then I could lose you."
"So, how do you feel about me Blake?" Lyds held a knowing smirk
"Do you even have to ask?" Bellamy pressed a kiss to her forehead, "Asshole."
"Do you still have to go?" Lydia let out yet another sigh before throwing herself backwards onto Bellamy's bed, ever so dramatically.
"Yeah, I have a feeling they might need my help." he stood over here, "But I'll be back soon. Meet me back here tonight okay? Bring your stuff."
"What does that mean? We're having a sleepover?" The girl laughed
"It means I want you to stay with me. Since it looks like Raven won't be moving out of your tent I thought you could move into a different one... I'll sleep on the floor of course."
"Okay." The blonde smiled, she climbed to her feet and her hands fell to rest against Bellamy's chest, "But you don't have to sleep on the floor."
"Is that so?" The man smirked
There was a short moment where the pair found themselves leaning into one another's touch, their lips were only inches apart and all in one moment Lyds pulled away and her head fell to rest against his chest.
"Don't... not yet."
"Your drive me fuckin' crazy." He whispered
***
With a smile of blissful happiness upon her face, Lydia Greystone packed her belongings away into her backpack ready to take to Bellamy's tent. Admittedly she didn't own much, just the little amount of clothes she had, her journal and pencil, and her blanket and pillow. There was nothing else.
It didn't take her long to pack and she wanted to wait around for Raven to arrive so she could tell her the news, but it was already dark out and judging from the yells outside the hunters were already back. There was no time to wait and so Lyds picked up her bag and made her way outside.
Immediately she walked into someone and her eyes met those of Monty who held her at arms length with a gentle laugh.
"Are you okay there Lyds? You almost took me down."
"Sorry Monty, I'm just excited I guess... So are the hunters back?"
"Yeah Bellamy and the others just rolled in, I'm guessing you're looking for him?"
"As always." Lyds joked
"He headed into his tent a few minutes ago, he should probably still be there."
"Thanks Mont." The Greystone girl beamed before she made her way to Bellamy's overly large tent.
The girl made it to the door of her somewhat boyfriends tent but stopped in her tracks the moment she saw the glow of the lantern. The entire tent was illuminated but that wasn't what Lyds noticed, what her eyes fell upon was the shadow of two people locked in a fierce embrace. Her heart filled with dread.
"Please don't be Bellamy." She thought to herself
"Please don't be Bellamy." She whispered a loud
With shaking hands the girl pushed the opening of the tent open and the second she stepped inside her bag hit the ground with a thud, startling the pair away from each other. That was the moment Lydia Greystone's worst thoughts came to light.
Stood, both scantily clad without a shirt was Bellamy, and Raven.
How could she? They were supposed to be friends, best friends. She knew how she felt about him.
How could he? He all but asked her to move in with him, he told her she was all he wanted, he knew how she felt, how they both felt, and now this? He'd betrayed her in the worst way and no betrayal had ever hurt more.
"How could you? Both of you."
"Lydia please-"
"No. I don't deserve this." With that said, the freckled girl picked up her bag once more and fled from the tent. The moment she stepped out into the open she felt the embrace of tears streaking her face and a soft yell followed behind her.
Tears too met Bellamy's face as he ran from his tent, now with a shirt, after his girl. Her back was turned to him and she didn't stop for a second even as he called after her.
"Don't leave me like this!" He yelled out and the girl stopped in her tracks, her tear filled blue eyes met his ones of brown, "Please... I know what I did was wrong, Raven came onto me and I shouldn't have kissed her back, but you're all I want Lyds, you're it for me."
"Did you not hear me? I don't deserve this Bell, and even if I love- even if I care about you, I won't put myself through it."
"You love me?"
"I thought I did." She lied, "Turns out I was wrong."
"Don't walk away, please..." Bellamy began to cry, luckily there was few people left to watch.
The blue eyed girl turned away and stopped once more, for a small moment she almost gave in to the urge to sob but instead she bit her lip, pulled her bag higher onto her shoulder and finally, with all of the courage that was left in her small body, she walked away. Leaving behind Bellamy and everything she thought she loved about him.
"Jasper?" She yelled out with a sob, "Monty? Y-You in there?"
At first after everything had happened, Lyds had found herself wanting to run to Murphy's tent but she knew he would only tell her that he was right, she wanted to go to Clarke but she was hurting too and it would be selfish to force her problems onto her. That was how she found herself outside of Jasper and Monty's tent, they were the only two who wouldn't judge her for her problems.
"Lyds? Are you crying?" Jasper spoke as he and Monty stepped out into the open
"Hey, what's wrong?" Monty asked and immediately Lydia dropped her bag, wrapped her arms around him and began to cry.
"He slept with someone else..."
Lyds didn't even have to say a name and the two boys knew she was talking about Bellamy. How could he do something like this to her?
"I'm so sorry Lydia." Monty sighed as she only began to cry harder
"You can stay here tonight, if you want. You can have my bed." Jasper spoke up, he didn't wait for answer before lifting her bag from the ground and taking it inside the tent.
"Thank you." She sniffed
Lyds allowed the two boys to lead her inside before the trio sat down upon Monty's bed. Instantly Lyds head fell to rest upon Jasper's shoulder all the while Month wrapped his arms around her. There'd never been a sadder sight.
"Why couldn't I have fallen in love with one of you?" Lydia spoke Clarke's words with a broken smile
"You still can." Jasper smiled and the girl found herself wishing it was true. But it wasn't because after everything they'd been through and all they'd both done she still loved him, just as she was it for him, he was it for her.
Despite everything her heart belonged to Bellamy Blake.