Sarayah P.O.V. July 4, 2016
I stared down at my chocolate cake, willing the night to be over. My mama was sitting across the small table from me, burning a hole into my face. She was still wearing her waitress uniform, hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. She hadn't bothered changing. I knew she probably didn't have time since she had to make my cake from scratch, but a malicious part of me wondered if she hadn't changed so she could keep an eye on me, make sure I didn't leave.
She shifted slightly making the table move. Her subtle way of trying to get me to look up, but I refused. I didn't have to look up to know what expression she was wearing. I knew her deep brown eyes were searching my face, waiting for me to spontaneously be grateful for this shitty night, but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of a smile. This was not how I wanted to spend my 16th birthday and she knew it. She could force me to sit there and eat that cake, but she couldn't force me to like it. I poked the cake a few more times before taking the smallest bite possible.
"How's the cake, baby?" She asked hesitantly.
"Dry," I mumbled.
"What was that?" Her eyes glittered with an unspoken challenge.
"Good," I said, looking up at her, my smile dripping with sarcasm.
She narrowed her eyes at me, but took another bite, choosing to let it go.
I sighed and went back to poking my cake. I tried to imagine what my best friends Nevaeh and Mekhi were doing. Something fun, no doubt. I tried to invite them, but my mama shut that down real quick. She never liked them. Always talking about how they were too wild and were going to drive us apart. I, however, thought that if anything was going to push us apart it would be her insane possessiveness. I didn't know a single person who was forced to spend their 16th birthday locked up in their apartment with their mama.
I frowned and angrily stabbed my cake. This was so unfair.
"Listen, baby," Mama started, but I cut her off, my anger making me bolder than I had ever been.
"No, YOU listen. I'm tired of this." I shouted, slamming my fork down. I was ready to risk it all.
She furrowed her eyebrows. "Tired of what?"
"This!" I yelled, wildly gesturing around the tiny room. "The way we live! The way you make us live."
She sighed. "Ray, I'm working two jobs. This is the best we can afford right now."
I groaned in frustration. Our apartment wasn't exactly fancy, with its water-stained ceiling, cracked tiles, peeling paint and diverse insect population. However, I could deal with all that. What I couldn't deal with, was spending 24 hours a day locked inside. I spent the summer praying for school to start back up, so I could have eight sweet hours of freedom. How messed up is that?
"Honestly, I wouldn't mind living in this tiny ass 1-bedroom apartment if you let me go out more often. Or, at all. I'm like a caged animal in here. All you let me do is go to school and occasionally over to Vaeh or Mekhi's place and you rarely even let me do that now. You hide me away like someone's trying to steal me or something."
Her deep brown eyes sparked. Maybe I went too far with the cussing.
She calmly set her fork down, but I could tell from the fire in her eyes that it was about to be some shit.
"Now you listen to me, you ungrateful ass child. This may not be a mansion, but it's shelter, and you best be grateful for it if you know what's good for you."
I looked down, guiltily.
"I just spent the entire day working two back to back seven hour shifts to afford this tiny ass 1-bedroom apartment. Then I came home and spent my limited amount of free time making a chocolate cake that you've barely touched and now you have the audacity to raise your voice at me because it's not exactly what you wanted?"
"I'm sorry Mama," I mumbled, head hung in shame.
I played with my fork, still unwilling to look her in the eye. I could feel her shooting daggers at me.
"You speaking to the plate?" She demanded.
I looked up at her. A lock of black hair had escaped her ponytail and was hanging in front of her eye. It did nothing to diminish the piercing effect of her glare.
"I'm sorry Mama," I repeated, speaking clearly.
She shook her head, standing up. She smoothed her hair back and took a deep breath.
"I am going to bed. Because it's your birthday I won't beat your disrespectful ass, but I expect this kitchen to be clean when I wake up. Goodnight." I waited for her to shut the door and then got up.
I quietly washed the dishes, making sure I didn't make any noise that might bring her back out to yell at me. When I was sure the kitchen was spotless, I tiredly pushed the table against the wall. I walked over to my futon and pulled it out, immediately collapsing on it. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I felt a vibration. I groaned, I was not in the mood. I let it go to voicemail, but after a minute I felt guilty. It was probably Nevaeh or Kai trying to see how my night went. I pulled out my phone and swiped it open. I was right. Missed call from Kai.
I sighed, wondering whether I should call him back. On one hand, I wasn't feeling up to a conversation, but on the other hand, Kai always had a way of making me feel better. I thought about it for a second longer before pressing the call back button.
"HAPPY BIRFDAY BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHH!"
I smiled, holding the phone away from my ear while Mekhi acted a fool. When the noise stopped, I hesitantly put the phone back by my ear.
"Thank you, Kai. Don't bother asking how my day was because it sucked, and I don't wanna recap."
"Good, because we don't wanna hear it." He replied, laughing obnoxiously at his own joke. There was a 99.9% chance he was high.
I raised an eyebrow. "We?"
"Oh yeah, Vaeh's here too. Say happy birthday, bih."
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIH!" Vaeh shouted.
I smiled sadly. "So y'all out there having fun, huh?"
Mekhi kissed his teeth. "Go somewhere with that self-pity shit. We called you up because we bout to bust you out."
I bit my lip nervously. "Ionno." I glanced back at my mama's door. "I'm not tryna get killed. My mama's already hella pissed at me because I flipped out on her."
I could practically hear them rolling their eyes through the phone.
"You are such a goody two shoes. For once can you just live a little? You're 16 and haven't lived a damn day in your life. How that look?"
I chewed my lip. I took a deep breath, praying that I was making the right decision.
"Okay, come pick me up."
...
"Are you sure we're not gonna get caught Nevaeh? I know you guys didn't case the place. A million alarms could go off at any second. Oh my gosh, my mama will skin me alive if I get arrested." I whispered, looking around for the umpteenth time.
Not that there was much to see. It was just past 11 pm and the streetlights were doing next to nothing. I looked down the streets. From what I could see, it was deserted. The shabby buildings across the street looked like they hadn't been touched in years. Still, I was sure any second a thousand police cars were going to roll up on us. I clutched at her leather jacket anxiously, pulling her so close that her black curls were tickling my nose.
"We probably won't even get arrested you know. We're all black. They WILL shoot us. Probably say they couldn't see us in the dark and then get paid a million dollars by a bunch of white supremacists," I rambled. "It happens!"
"Girl if you don't shut the fuck up and move up off me." She rolled her eyes, shoving me off her.
I frowned in response but kept my hands to myself. I turned my attention to Mekhi who was trying to snap the lock with a pair of bolt cutters. He may have been over 6 ft, but he was lanky as fuck, barely any muscle. A tragedy.
He squeezed the bolt cutters, his blond dreads hanging in front of his face. I let out a breath in frustration.
"Can you hurry up?" I looked around again, nervously picking at my black hoodie.
"Do YOU want to try?" He asked, annoyed.
I nodded. "I do, actually. I could pick the lock, easy."
"This ain't easy ho–" he was cut off by the sharp sound of a snap. He grinned back at us, white teeth shining through the darkness. "Got it."
We grinned back at him.
"Okay, let's go." Nevaeh said, impatiently pushing him through the gate. I followed them, glancing over my shoulder one last time before closing the gate firmly behind us.
I jogged to catch up to Vaeh and Kai who were giggling. Probably laughing at me. They always made fun of my nervous behavior, ever since we were nine. I could never explain what it was. I always had this sense that something awful was going to happen. My mama, Alison, was the same way. You know what, it was probably her fault. All her paranoia had rubbed off on me. She was always so careful with me. If she found out I was out with Vaeh and Kai tonight she would kill me.
"What you two knuckleheads laughing at?" I asked, squeezing between them.
Nevaeh smirked. "You."
"Whatever." I rolled my eyes, pretending to be unbothered. Honestly, I hated feeling like I was on the outside.
She bumped my shoulder with hers, sensing my thoughts.
"I'm just messing with you. You know we love you."
"Yeah, if we didn't, we would've left yo paranoid ass at home," Kai added, walking off into the darkness. "And you would've missed all of this."
He pulled a lever with a flourish and a hundred lights turned on revealing a host of carnival rides. I looked around, amazed. For a moment I forgot we were breaking and entering. Or, we had already broken and entered? Now we were trespassing? I didn't know, and I didn't care. I felt an arm around my waist and turned to look into Nevaeh's sparkling brown eyes.
"Glad you came out now?" She winked.
I blushed and nodded.
"Good." She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the merry-go-round. I followed, gaping at all the rides. I had never been to a carnival before. Too dangerous, or so my mama always said. Too many people. ANYONE could snatch me up. I rolled my eyes at the thought. Even in my mind she was annoying.
We plopped down in a carriage while Mekhi pushed a few buttons to start the ride. He jumped on the ride, vaulting onto a horse.
"TO FREEDOM, or whatever the fuck they say." He posed like he was galloping away on his plastic horse.
I laughed, taking a seat in the carriage behind him. He turned around grinning back at me. Neveah threw a wrapper from her pocket at him.
"You are the corniest nigga I ever met." She said sitting beside me.
He shrugged hopping off his horse. "If it makes Miss Uptight over here laugh, then I'm doing something right."
He squeezed between us and put his arms around our shoulders. Vaeh tried to shove him off but he squeezed us into a tight hug instead.
"Okay, enough enough." Nevaeh protested.
Kai laughed and let us go. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a blunt, lighting it up. He took a hit before offering it to Nevaeh. She took it and passed it to me. I shook my head and she rolled her eyes, passing it back to Kai.
We sat in a comfortable silence, staring up at the intricate illustrations on the ride.
Nevaeh broke the silence. "I know I don't ever say it, or really show it, but I feel lucky to have you guys as friends."
We looked over at her. I was surprised. She was usually the last one to get even slightly emotional, but then again, she was high, but still. I waited patiently for her to continue.
She took another hit before starting again.
"My family ain't shit, so it's nice to have you guys. It's not everyone who has friends that are down for the–" She was cut off by the sound of a cop siren.
Her eyes widened. "OH SHIT. I'M NOT GOING TO JUVY AGAIN. MOVE BITCHES."
She jumped up and sprinted away, Kai, hot on her heels. I lunged forward to run after them, but immediately tripped over my own feet. I slammed to the floor landing heavily on my right knee. I hissed in pain. I scrambled upright and tried to run but my knee was busted.
"SARAYAH!" Nevaeh shouted from ahead. Mekhi was pulling her away.
I tried limping towards them, but Mekhi had already dragged her around a corner, out of sight. "Shit shit SHIT!"
I changed direction, limping quickly towards the gate. It was closer. Plus, I wouldn't have worry about hopping a fence. As soon as I reached the door, it slammed open. A bright light shone directly in my face, temporarily blinding me.
I shielded my eyes with my arm. "Any chance you could let me off with a warning?"
A cold metal cuff was slapped on my wrist.
"Guess not."
...
I gripped the cold jail cell bars, trying to use them to ground myself. I could feel myself panicking, but that wouldn't do me any good here. I'd seen Wentworth. Show weakness and you'd end up being someone's bitch. I had to be strong.
"Please, can you let me call my mama," I begged, completely abandoning my plan.
The guard looked up from her magazine, green eyes watching me sympathetically. "Honey, listen. I've already let you call her three times. That's two more times than you have a right to."
"But–"
"Listen kid. She's probably fast asleep right now and calling her again won't do you any good so settle down." She turned back to her magazine.
Well shit. I leaned forward, resting my head against the bars. My frizzy brown hair fell forward, forming a thick curtain around my face. I mentally cursed myself. Of course I forgot to bring an extra hair tie. I couldn't do anything right. Such a screwup. I blinked rapidly, willing the tears to stay in my eyes.
I didn't understand. Why was I still there? I expected someone to have shown up by then. I knew Kai and Vaeh would have run straight to my mama to tell her to come get me once they realized I had been caught, so, where was she? Was she trying to teach me a lesson by leaving me in there? Or worse, did those trifling ass hoes not even tell her?
"It's okay baby girl. If your mama don't come, daddy'll take care of you." A gruff voice said behind me.
My back stiffened. I didn't have to turn around to know it was that big ass alleged female with the doo doo plaits who was speaking. I ignored her hoping she would leave me alone. No such luck.
"Oh, so now you don't wanna talk huh?" I could hear her getting closer. Luckily the guard was actually a decent human being and told her to get her Fat Albert looking ass away from me.
"I've used up all my phone calls so I'm just gonna be stuck here forever?" I asked the guard, trying desperately to clamp down on my rising panic.
"Of course not. You'll most likely be let out in the morning if your mama can make bail. It's not much, so she should be able to."
I nodded slowly, still visibly upset.
She sighed. "Just lay down and try to sleep. Time will fly by and by the time you wake up it'll be time to go."
I frowned, looking over my shoulder at the Cleo wannabe. She smirked back, licking her lips slowly. I shuddered and quickly looked forward again. There was no way I was going to sleep with her around.
The guard caught my meaning and nodded. "Don't worry. I'll make sure everyone stays in line. You'll be safe."
I smiled gratefully. I sat down in a nearby corner and prayed for morning to come.