I was walking back to my office the next morning, coffee in hand when I stopped in my tracks. I smiled to myself seeing Andrew with his little girl, kneeling on the ground as she smiled at him. A pain in my chest as Janice came out of his office and kneeled down as well, giving him a small kiss.
I couldn't help wondering what things would be like if only I didn't lose the baby. How me and John would be. If I'd have a happy family as well. That's all I really wanted. A family of my own.
Janice must have noticed me watching. She stood up and picked up the baby in her arms, walking towards me. Andrew watching from a distance.
"Lucy."
"Janice." I nodded. She sighed and looked at me.
"I um, heard you couldn't have kids. I'm really sorry. Look, I know we don't get along but...I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I know you lost your family at a young age and well, I think family is something we all take for granted."
I held back the tears and swallowed the lump in my throat. "Thank you. Two now yeah?"
She smiled and nodded. "Yeah."
I smiled a little, looking at the little girl. She waved at me and reached out to touch my hand. I let her.
"What's her name?" I asked.
"Lucy. Andrew um, wanted to name her after you."
I glanced over at Andrew as he talked to one of the other journalists. I knew why he named her after me.
"You're not mad about it?" I asked. She shook her head.
"I was at first. But then, he told me about your um..you know."
I nodded and looked down. "I know. Look um, I'm really happy for you and Andrew. You both seem happy together."
"Do we? I guess were that good at pretending." She laughed nervously. I looked at her a bit surprised.
"You two aren't?"
"Everything isn't what they seem sometimes you know."
We looked back as Andrew yelled at the guy he was talking to, pointing at the door.
"Well if you don't like it here then get the fuck out! And don't bother coming back!" He yelled as the guy stood up and flung his papers at him, leaving the building. Andrew shook his head and kicked a trash bin, sending trash all over the ground. I bit my lip.
"I better go. He'll just upset the baby with this kind of temper right now."
I nodded. "You working anytime soon?"
"No. I um, I quit. Figured it'd be best to stay at home, raise the baby. Andrew promised he'd take care of me. But um, now that the magazine sales are dropping..."
"What?" I asked. She looked at me strangely.
"You don't know?"
"Know what?"
She sighed and leaned in closer, so nobody else could hear. "Were losing sales. If the market keeps doing as bad as it is...were just looking at a few more weeks here. Everyone will..."
"Lose their jobs." I said. Why didn't Andrew tell me?? Maybe I was too focused on John and everything else these past two days to even notice and realise what was really going on.
She patted my arm. "I'm going now. See you around huh?" She gave me a warm smile. I returned the smile and watched as she turned around and walked over to an upset Andrew. They talked.
I looked down at my now cold coffee. I shook my head, making my way back to get a new cup.
..
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked Andrew as he typed furiously. I sat on his desk and placed a cup of coffee in front of him.
"I was going to tell you last night but, you weren't home."
Yeah. I was off being a slut with my fiancé's best friend.
"Oh. What are you going to do if, you know.."
He sighed and looked up at me. "I dunno. Probably start from the bottom again. Try to get a job somewhere else. I'm fucked. Years worth of work just down the drain."
I jumped off his desk and made my way into his lap, grabbing his arms and wrapping them around my waist. He held me tight.
"Where you go, I go." I said moving my arms around his neck.
"Really?" He asked. I nodded.
"We've been partners since the beginning Andrew and well, losing my partner in crime would break my heart."
"Yeah? Seems I've got you wrapped around my finger huh?" He smirked and kissed my cheek. I giggled.
"So full of yourself."
He made a face and leaned in, kissing me. I kissed back, moving my fingers into his hair. There I was again. Cheating. Being unfaithful. Pushing the pain of guilt away as I smiled against hia lips.
..
I returned to the hotel later at about five in the evening. As I walked down the hall, I made my way to John's room and noticed a brunette girl walking out, fixing her skirt and bra straps as John gave her one last kiss, zipping up his pants. She walked past me as John froze, watching me walk over to him.
"Nice. Really classy Lennon." I rolled my eyes.
"I was just um..." he rambled on. I pressed my finger over his lips.
"Shut up and let me in." He nodded and opened the door.
The room completely messy. The bed unmade obviously, trash on the ground, food everywhere, the smell of sex and cannabis hung in the air. I leaned against the wall and bit my lip.
"Was she good?" I asked.
"What?"
"In bed. Did she fuck you the way you like it? Did she let you give her bruises, bite down on her skin, does she suck your cock the way I do?"
"Nobody's as good as you are." He said walking over to me. I looked up at him.
"You're a bastard Lennon."
"Yeah? Ye wanna fuckin hit me?" He challenged with a smirk.
"Definitly." I said glaring at him. He grabbed my hand, moving my fingers into a fist.
"Go on then."
I smiled and instead, slid my finger over the bite mark I left him the other night on his chest. He looked down at me.
"Ye hate it when I sleep with other women?"
I nodded.
"As long as ye keep sleeping around with me mates, I'll stop fucking other birds."
I looked at him, completely surprised. "W..what?"
"I know about last night. You and Paul."
I winced as he slapped me across the face. "Don't ye for a fuckin second try to sneak past me again. Or next time, I'll fuckin finish what I started tonight."
He gave me another hit right across the face where Paul hit me the other night. I fell to my knees, holding my face in my hands. He walked away, slamming the bathroom door shut. I wiped the tears falling out of my eyes and stood up, making my way to the bathroom door.
"J...John. I'm leaving now. Have a safe tour." I said shakily. No answer. I sniffled and hurriedly grabbed my purse, making my way out the door. I swallowed and knocked softly on his door. It took a few seconds before he answered.
George rubbed his eyes, obviously just woken up from a nap. His hair messy, in just some shorts. His eyes widened as he looked at me.
"Lucy what happened!?"
"It's nothing. I could really use your company right now. If you'll have me." I whispered. He nodded, pulling me inside.
"Of course. Anytime love." He kissed the top of my head and closed the door, locking it. I smiled a little, already feeling better.
....