Started Typing On - 06/04/2019 (10.18 PM)
Published On - 07/04/2019 (This chapter was completed yesterday night at 12.14 AM but I dozed off without posting it.)
Chapter 103- 'The Third Eye'
~
Jaanvi's Pov: Nine months pregnant-September 2019
September twenty-fifth twenty nineteen already and I haven't given birth. We've entered our tenth month anniversary this month and the fact that my nine months would be completed soon yet I haven't given birth really scares me. I haven't been a very confident person in my life, I may show it but I'm not. The tiny confidence I had had also disappeared from everything that was going on-had happened.
"Do you have to go?" His eyebrows shoot up. He looks genuinely surprised from my quiet question. He fixes his tie looking at me from the reflection of the mirror and smiles.
"I have to. I promise I'll be back in an hour or two." Kiaan replies as his hands fix the collar after wearing the black tie over his white clean shirt. Wearing the silver coloured wrist watch he reminds me to eat breakfast. "Oh, and don't drink the juice by itself. Add some water because it's too sugary."
As much as I love him, he's been nuts. 'Don't eat this, eat that, don't go out there, stay here.' I understand. He's worried because of many reasons. And I also admit that I've given him those reasons but it's too much. He says it's his 'responsibility' to look after me because I've got only him here. Therefore, he does everything possible for the sake of my health. From making sure with the doctor is it's 'ok' to eat spicy noodles to walking for an hour every morning on the weekends.
I wanted him to loosen up a little for once. "What's the point of drinking juice then?" I hug my knees under the warm duvet cover. Kiaan opens the curtain letting the sun rays hit my face and I groan shuffling to his side of the bed. "We need to rearrange this room, I've always got the sun on me." And I hated the sun.
He loves it, he can have it all to himself. "You need a little bit of sun, Jaanvi." He gives me an unpleasing stare and I just look away. He's the one being unfair. "Should I turn the TV on?" He gestures pointing at the TV screen behind his back as he dipped down on the bed without letting his shoes touch the bed. I glanced to see his right shoes sitting on his left knee and furrowed. Pushing his leg down I glared.
"I'll have to clean those pants, not you. Don't put your foot on it."
His expressions turn a bit stony but then he mutters a small 'right, pregnant.' I narrow my eyes at him, exasperated. "Jaan, you're not washing this, unfortunately." He passes me a guilty smile. "The washing machine is."
"I-I-" My mouth was basically sounding out the letter 'I' realising how right he was. I looked away from him to show I'm still pissed. "It's Saturday today. Shouldn't be going to work." My voice was low, barely audible but he caught it.
"I know," he sighs, zipping up his mouth for a moment to show he's also not delighted to be called in today. "Well, that's what working is, isn't it?" I notice the uneasy chuckle flickering on his face to lighten up my mood but I just kept staring at him, unpleasingly. "We'll go for a walk after I come back. Promise." I shake my head negatively, knowing how stubborn I am he quickly added, "We'd go to the supermarket and get all the chocolates and some pizza? Ok?"
I watch him from the corner of my eyes to see Kiaan's fingers crossed as if he was praying I'd listen to him. I keep a serious face looking his way. He looks back at me smiling for an answer and I give it away. "Ok!" I grin, not being able to hide the excitement.
I mean, he's been pretty strict about eating too many chocolate and pizzas. I wasn't accepting him to ever offer me those options but I guess I was wrong. "Good." He grins back kissing my head. "You better eat the sandwich I made." Walking to the mirror he runs his hand through his hair to make sure he looks presentable. A satisfying grin plasters on his lips, before walking out the bedroom and house he orders and partly warns, "Add water to your juice."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I roll my eyes panting out the frustration. He gives me one last defeating head shake before walking out the house. "He's probably going to be the first dad in the world to give you a diet-plan." I whispered back to my child.
~
I was eating the sandwich Kiaan had prepared while I was sleeping early in the morning when I heard the doorbell ring. I was still in my black and purple pyjamas from last night with cats on them, not being bothered about how sleep I looked I walked over to the door and opened it up.
"HII!" Nidhi screams on top of her lung and I couldn't help but cover my mouth to hide away the unpleasing smile probably taking over my lips by now. She opened up her arms and pulled me into a tight hug without making me feel uncomfortable. "How are you?"
"Good." I smiled welcoming her inside the house. She sat down on the couch and nicely declined the extra sandwich I had offer her. She's nice. But I'm just not very good with speaking to people as much as before. I just wanted to leave. "How's the preparation going on?" I ask sitting on the touch opposite her with my sandwich. I was hungry.
"Oh, we are not starting anything this year. We'll get married in the end of twenty-twenty so perhaps dad would start making calls around March or April. Right now we're just chilling." She explains, unintentionally her eye lands on her engagement ring.
"I'm sorry, we left early from your engagement and I couldn't praise your ring. It's beautiful." I honestly really liked the small diamond ring on her finger. "I'm happy for you and Aarav." They deserved each other. He's nice and so is she.
She blushes, at his name? "It's ok. Are you excited?" She asks looking right into my eyes.
I lick away the melted cheese and put my half eaten sandwich on the black-yes, surprisingly Kiaan has a black plate-plate and gaze up at her with a raised eyebrow. "For your wedding? Of co--"
"No." She starts chuckling at me for taking her question the other way round. "For your baby." My mouth turns into an 'O' and I just zip my mouth shut.
"U-umm, I suppose?" Great Jaanvi! Who says 'I suppose' to this question?! Seeing her changed expression at my reply, not expecting such a cheap answer from me I guess. I quickly maintained my posture and smiled. "I mean, of course. I'm j-just nervous." I was.
"I understand." This time she nods in actual understanding way.
No, you don't understand. Because I'm me and you're yourself. I hated how twisted I've become. I can't even control my own blunt mouth or my mood, I just prayed I don't end up saying something offending to her because she means a lot to Kiaan.
My nervous eyes landed on the grey bag next to her leg. The curiosity was building up inside my veins, wishing I could just X-ray the bag but obviously I can't. I look away from the bag to see Nidhi looking at me.
"Oh, sorry, I almost forgot. This is for you." She reached out for the bag by her leg, I tried to get up in a polite way but she quickly reached me and helped me sit down. "I don't know if you'll like it but I thought I should bring something over." She gives me a tensed smile sitting beside me.
I opened up the bag in excitement and saw a gorgeous peach coloured floral dress for a baby girl. I laid it flat on my lap and my lips twitched upwards into a bright smile. It was a round neck and knee length dress with a little bit of blue, green and red colours added and a big 'GAP' in the middle. My fingers couldn't stop running over the soft material.
"You like it?" Nidhi asks after a while.
My face breaks into a hard but happy chuckle. "I st-still have the little dress my parents brought for me. The-the dress I wore o-o-on m-my m-mothers funeral. I was a day old." It was when Nidhi's hand went on my shoulder, pressing it that I realised I was crying. I wiped away the tears smiling sadly. "I don't why I still kept it, Nidhi. It's supposed to be bad right? I wore it the day they burnt my mother. And I still kept it." I hold the dress into my hands, my tears already soaking one particular part of the dress.
"Maybe for memory?"
"Maybe because when I learnt it's the first clothing item my parents brought for me I couldn't just throw it away. It was my Ma's choice." I start folding the dress neatly. "Do you think it's wrong if I have a daughter and I dress her in my own dress? The frock dress? Will Kiaan allow it?" I glance up and see the unsure expression on her face.
She takes a breath in and composes herself before speaking. "Doesn't the dress bring you sadness? And why will Kiaan not allow it?" Her lip twisted in an offended way as if she wasn't happy with my question on Kiaan's judgement.
I gulp down the lump and put the frock dress on the free space next to me. "He might th-think I'm opening old wounds. He do-doesn't like it when I live in my past. T-that's what's weird. But I love the dress so much. It's special but what if it's special to me for a whole different reason? Maybe because I wore something my mother chose for me on her last day."
She lightly chuckles removing her hand from my shoulder. "It must be old."
I giggled wiping away some tears. "Yeah, older than Harry Potter." She joins the laughter even more and dropped her head back on the couch.
"There's one more I brought. For a boy." She murmurs between her laugh.
I fetch my hand to the bottom of the bag and take out the once again soft material. Unlike the first, this one was darker. This was a dark blue Gap letterman romper for a baby boy. The tiny sleeves were plain grey with banded cuffs of the colour dark blue and white strips. Thankfully the socks wasn't attached which I was glad about.
"I-it's, I don't know what to say. Thank you." I hold the baby boy clothe on my lap and pull Nidhi into a warm and thankful hug. She smiles in return of her happiness that I loved the gift.
Kiaan and I, well, he's got some serious issues with white. Dhruv's whole room was filled with white baby clothes. We don't want to find out the gender, we want to keep it a surprise but that does NOT mean you go out and buy the whole store. Since the second month of my pregnancy Kiaan took me to every baby clothing shop and till this date, I've got over twenty pairs of girls and boys clothes.
Wasn't two pairs each for a boy and girl enough? I mean, the shops won't close down but he says, 'I don't trust people. Who knows they might shut down?' My main issue was, all those white clothes. Baby are devils. Devils with a cute face. Ninety percent of the baby clothes were white, I was over joyed seeing Nidhi brought something to add onto those boring white clothes pile.
~
Kiaan promised to walk around the park with me and now he's the one sleeping-I'm not complaining but he's the one who's so uptight about exercise. Must be tried. I was sitting beside him, watching his sleepy face let out calm and steady breaths while I block the sun out of his way from my back. I try to rip a decent smile on my face to the sleepy Kiaan waking up with a groan as the sunlight touches his face.
"What time is it?" I hear his morning boyish voice and I manage to actually smile, ignoring all the horrible ideas coming in my head. In five days it'll be ten months. I gaze at the clock and start ruffling-more like playing with his hair. My fingers love the touch of his hair on them. The large sleeping man dropped his head on my lap and kissed my-should be due-stomach over my large black plain top.
"Twelve thirty." I ran my fingers through his scalp and he closes his eyes yawning. His hot breath earns knots on my stomach every moment it touched my stomach. "Kiaan, please, move." I try not to push him away or grip his hair in order to move away from him. I was too occupied to be close to him.
"Mmm." He replied with a yawn, he keeps his buried face on my stomach and wraps his hand around my waist and I zip my worried mouth ready to explode any minute. Was something wrong? "Ariel." He calls out and I hummed in reply. "How long will it take?"
"I don't know." And that was my call to freak out, my fingers on his head stopped moving and as smart as he is, he gets the point. Moving away from me be rubs his eye open and runs his hand up and down my back with the other on my head. On most occasions his soothing velvet voice calmed me down but today it didn't.
"It'll be fine Jaanvi." He whispers kissing my forehead.
"The due date was on the tenth and it's twenty-fifth today, Kiaan. Aren't you scared? I can't stop thinking about it. I-i-is everything ok? M-m-my-o-o-our baby is fine right?" I try my best to sound strong and normal but my voice shakes every second I think about my child and cracks with a sob followed afterwards. "At this point I'm not even afraid of the pain. I just want to get over it, Kiaan." I cry onto his shoulder and he wraps his arms around me, crushing my body onto his.
"M-m-m-my mum had a complicated pregnancy, i-I was meant to be due in November but I was born on October." He pulls away from the hug and holds my palms onto his and wipes away my tears from his other hand.
"I promise everything is fine. Kajal was also born on the thirty-first but she was due on the ninth, it's common Jaanvi. You're just worried because of what happened to Ma. Don't worry, you're fine. Our baby's fine." The toughest task for me was to smile, unlike other times when I could always fake a smile I couldn't do that today. It was hard. Extremely hard. I laid my head on his lap and closed my wet eyes shut.
~
Kiaan and I had been walking around the park every weekend, just like today though it's way over eight or nine in the morning but we decided to go out for a walk to catch some fresh air. His off days were Saturday and Sunday and he made sure to spend the whole day with me. From walking every weekend for an hour around the park so my muscles move and I don't become lazy to walking back home and eating some food and then heading out for grocery shopping. Unlike before when I was in trauma now I use to accompany him and get everything I wished to eat.
Except frozen pizza. I wanted fresh pizza at first but the pizza hut closed down, I wish I could murder the owner for selling it, any ways, so the closest option is frozen pizza because I don't like dominos.
I was heading inside the food section, filling up the trolley with candies, baked brownies, chips, cookies, flavoured milk and many more junk when Kiaan came along with coriander and I hide the chocolate underneath the pads thinking he wouldn't take anything suspicious.
He did promise to get me chocolates and pizza before heading to work this morning but he twisted his tongue saying, 'I didn't say how many. That's for me to decide.' I've been restricted from eating too many chocolates at once so here we go. "Hi." I smiled a bit too brightly and doubts were heading south and east, all above his head.
He raised his eyebrow walking around the trolley to inspect everything I had gathered. Putting the coriander into the trolley next to the ice cream tub he looks at me and passes me his most catchable smirk. "Why don't we buy the whole store?"
I didn't catch the sarcastic smile so I thought he was being serious. "Sachi?" (Really?) I broke my lips into a mouth opening smile, my teeth in his view but he glared at me and I drove the trolley back into the junk food section and he followed behind. "Kanjoos." (Penny pinching) I murmur putting back the three bags of large mars and lollipops. I gritted my teeth shut and looked back at Kiaan who just stood there with a determined look on his face and folded arms. He looked at the junk in the trolley then eyed me to put it back.
"Gadha." (Donkey) I muttered under my breath putting away the two extra bars of kit kat. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I whirled around with a hopeful smile and my eyes begging him to let me keep some chocolate but he crushes down those dreams and cravings by putting the hidden chocolate behind the pads into my palms. My face drops and I really wish to murder him right now.
"Billi should only drink milk." (Cat) I shook my head at his comment and ready to fire back my strong and probably one hell of a bold answer but zipped my mouth shut in fear. I held onto my stomach, my breaths become heavy and my head started to spin. I open my mouth to say something and reach out to Kiaan for support but he moves back frowning.
"Damn it, Hazelnut goes over here." He mutters putting the other chocolate back onto the right spot. I married an idiot. He grazes his hand onto the chocolates trying to pick only one for me but by then I lose my cool and scream his name. "Jaanvi, idhar nahi." (Jaanvi, not here.) He hisses not turning around to face me, he was too busy in selecting the right chocolate for me.
Even in this situation I couldn't control his brain. And then he calls me dirty minded. I held onto the trolley tightly to keep myself from falling and push it harshly onto his leg making him fall on the ground. "Are yo--" his angry and icy voice trails away and his mouth just hangs open realising my water broke. "Shit!" He jumps up in such a force that I sigh in relief. Yeah, w-w-we'll go to the doctor soon.
His grin turns gigantic as he holds my hand, taking them away from the metal bars. "Thank you! I couldn't propose you to marry me--" oh, boy I knew this was going wrong. "-but, let's open something new. How about a 'pregnancy proposal?' I mean, you're going to give birth any second but I'll like to make this memorable." Yeah, by wasting time. He goes down on his knees in front of two other people in the same section as us and I hold onto the side of the trolley to keep myself from falling.
Control. Control Uday-ugh fuck Uday! I'm Jaanvi! JAANVI! I scream in my head but zip my mouth shut and tears coming out of my eyes from the force of pain I felt. I bit my lip trying hard not to scream and tried to keep my legs still.
"Jaanvi." He looks up at me with his soft brown eyes and smiled, "Would you do me the honours of driving you to the hos--"
"I will murder you if you don't!" I scream holding onto the trolley, I held it so tight as if my life depended on it and I heard my one nail crack. "If you don't move your body into the car and if I die of pain I'll haunt you for the rest of your life Kiaan!" I yell and hold onto his collar when he comes close to me and tries to pick me up.
"Oh, wait, so you're in pain?" No, shit. I wanted to bang many things but first was my own head. "I thought you were just emotional on how cute and lovingly I was behaving. And I thought the second water break is the last call for emergency--" he was putting on my seatbelt and I screamed as loud as I could.
"THERES NO SECOND WATER BREAK! IF THERE WAS, YOU'D RATHER WAIT FOR THE SECOND ONE THEN TAKE ME TO THE DOCTOR ON THE FIRST PLACE?! KIAAN I WANT DIVORCE!" There was no fumbling or hesitation needed because I was done. SO done with him now. I close my eyes shut, breathing in and out to keep my breaths and heartbeats steady but nothing worked.
"Jaanvi I love yo--" his panicky voice echoed in my ear and I just kept tapping my foot on the car begging him to drive fast. "There's traffic."
"THEN DO SOMETHING!" I shouted, the sweat was tickling down my forehead and into my neck and back. I drop my head back wiping the sweat away. I couldn't tell the difference between the sweat and tears now, it just all poured down and I couldn't do anything to stop the pain or tears. "K-k-kiaan please. I-i-I wo-won't eat pizza but h-hurry up."
"I'm trying." He cried, furiously blowing the horn up and wiping his own sweat. "We'll reach, I promise." He squeezes my weak hand before I close my eyes.
~ (I just winged this section because I don't know what I'm supposed to write. If any mothers are reading this, tell me if it makes sense.)
"Clair, Cl-Clair is our midwife and this is my wife Jaanvi Rajput." I bring my face away from Kiaan's soaked up chest from my tears or his or mine sweat and look up to see an old lady around fifty one. She guilds Kiaan into the room with me in his arms.
I just shut my eyes the whole way and one of the most important person in my life, my papa's face flashes in front of my eyes.
"Fine, but I'm not that mean. Only to him. Hero you know I don't like guys who show off! He does, I mean who cares about his expensive shoes?
Papa points at me and laughs falling onto my bed while I just scrunch my nose up at him.
"Darling, it's going to be fine." I flinch hearing someone else's voice apart from papas. I feel my heartbeat racing up and my stomach and lower half of my body burning in pain.
"K-k-Kiaan." I cried, I felt a firm hand locked in mine and I look to see him on my right. He looks down at me with his teary eyes and smiles a little, sadly. I'm in considerable pain, I had some idea of how painful it could be but this felt like nothing I ever experienced. It was as if someone was hitting a hammer on my bones every five minute and I couldn't do anything rather than feel so vulnerable.
"S-see, we-we w-were talking about it to--" His raspy dry voice tried to calm me down. The horror look and unhappiness showed how bad he felt for putting me in this spot.
"I-i-i-I can't." I shake my head away in fear trying to find my father's face before I closed my eyes forever. "I-I can-can't. I-i-I can't. i-i-I'm not strong enough." I cry shaking my head violently. "Y-you n-need t-to c-call papa. C-call papa." I held onto the bedsheet with one hand as if it could take away the pain. My other held Kiaan's but not his hold was lose like I just said something he despised the most. "Call him." I break down again and start to breath heavily.
"Dear, you'll be fine. You're strong eno--" I look away from Kiaan and see the same lady talking out with gloves in her hands. This is so embarrassing.
"I-I'm not. M-m-my mother died givi--" I felt my heart drop being interrupted by Kiaan.
"Jaanvi shut up!" He yells losing his temper at me. He's had enough of my comparison to my mother and me but what could I do? I can't just wipe away everything I remember or feel. His chest seized up like he was having trouble trying to breath. The ache swelled up inside me and I felt someone warm hand remove my hair out of my face.
His fist tightened until he could get the word out on how he felt. "It'll be fine, I promise, I'm here. Please, calm down." Kiaan kneels down and looks into my eyes after controlling his feelings and hushed tight voice. "Nine months Jaanvi. Nine months you vomited, smiled, changed and felt our baby close to you. For those nine months you wrote those little birthday cards just like Ma did for you." His deep melodic voice brought lightness into the tense room.
He's right. I also started writing those cards every month for the nine months. But unlike ma, I also took photos to show my growth and how I felt on that certain month, how connected I felt with my baby.
My lips tremble but I refuse to stop the sobs. I felt the inside of my organs rip into pieces from the contraction. I dug my nail into Kiaan's palms but he didn't react, he acted as if he doesn't feel my nails digging into his skin and he just kept looking at me with a determined look to help me. "You can't waste all those months."
"I-I ca-can--" I try to choke out from my cries but he ignores me.
"Because you think you can't. You were positive before Jaanvi. So you have to be now, you have to. For me." His voice just echoed in my ear every time I felt a contraction it dominated my entire body in such a way that I just wanted to leave with my soul and run away. I expected my eyes to be dry by now but I had too many free tear drops to shed like rain. Every moment felt like hours, decades, the minutes felt like infinity but the pain never ended.
The pain lasted forever.
The more they told me to try and push the more loudly I screamed and cried. Kiaan kept his hand on mine the whole time and kept gazing down at my messy face with an encouraging sad smile. "Hero wants to be a nanu (Grandfather) Jaanvi. We wants promotion." I shake my head at him and gulp down the cough and regret it the next moment.
Now not only my screams but my mouth trying to inhale and my eyes trying to see the room properly was beginning to shut. "Stay with me, stay with me." Out of all the commands I heard Kiaan's the clearest from my right.
I felt terrible. Terrible for waiting for months for this moment-this morning I was begging for the pain in return of my baby in my hand and now I feel like I can't do it. It's time but I just feel my body giving up and breaking. I'm doing everything I can but as the time tickles I can't help but remember my father's face.
"Papa." My vision blur and I let out an exhausted sob digging my fingers into his palms.
"Jaave." I felt a female gloved hand covering my eyes, it can't be Kiaan. I know his hands, it's not like this. I feel the panic jolt in my but rushes away like wave hits the rocks when I hear my name again. "Jaave."
"P-papa." I gulp smiling. He's here. I was told to follow the midwife's order and I followed with every drop left in my body getting released from my eyes. My lungs pushing out the air to stay alive, my wet hair from the sweat was pushed back by one of the nurses and my eyes still protected by some ones hand so the light doesn't touch my eyes straight away.
"Ha Jaave. Ha. Ha Jaave." I heard papa's voice and smiled a little. The prison blocking away my remaining cells was broken from papa's voice letting the sunshine touch me and a nurse, I think squeaked a little 'you're nearly there.' The fear of not being able to see my family members broke away, my baby is close. It didn't matter now. I heard papa's voice, he's here with me and so is Kiaan. The two most important men in my life are here, I couldn't have asked for something else in return.
I heard my scream one by one but kept on trying. To prove Juhi wrong. She told me how weak I was. How mentally broken I was and how physically rotten I was as a teen. What could be a better way? A better way by winning the most precious jewel in my life. The day I decided not to upset anymore else, I had promised myself to stay strong and every time I heard a loud 'push' from the midwife and nurses and Kiaan and a small 'Jaave' from papa I forgot for a brief moment that I was the Jaanvi who lost her mother.
I just remembered on thing, that I was a mother-to-be. And I needed this baby as much as my mother needed me. Unlike my mother, my child would have a mother and if not, least not an aunty like Juhi.
In a moment-long moment the voices faded away and all I heard was a cry. Not my cry. My baby's cry. I let go of Kiaan's hand which had already loosened on it's own. Was he looking at our baby? I let out a breath in relief and my tears prickled down my face. The female's hand covering my eye to block away the light removed and in replacement she held my small baby into her hand, passing him to him.
My hands, my legs, my whole body was weak to move but in that moment-that little moment that felt like lifetime my hands found itself reaching out on it's own to hold my baby. It was just strange how one situation could make you feel so warm inside your heart. I've seen babies before, many but just seeing my own felt like a vivid dream too good to be true. The lady-Clair smiled patting my child's head while I held our baby close to my heart.
I look down to see dark brown eyes just like Kiaan's, I smile seeing the little innocent life watching me back with confusion and fixed stare, I chuckle to myself thinking she or he doesn't know who I am. Was I like this when I was born? Seeing my face into my child's eyes I touch her or his-"It's a?" I ask touching the soft and little bloody cheek. I wipe away the little blood from my hospital gown and look down just grinning at my baby and touching my nose into his.
So soft. Like cloud or feather. I move away from his or her face, and bring my hands onto his or her head, gently touching it. My hand slightly bounced off feeling the warmth onto my finger. It was so stupid but thought, it's real. The-My baby is real.
"It's a boy."
Boy. It was a boy. I always wanted a girl. A girl because I felt I could give her all the love I never got. Teach her about the life of a women, help her through her ups and downs and grow with her as she becomes something. No, someone that I'd be proud of. But I'm not disappointed. I'm happy. Infact glad to have a son. He'd be just like Kiaan. The perfect son. Elder sibling perhaps and a nice guy. A guy who respects women just as much as his father does.
I looked away from my son and see Kiaan just boring at him. He was so still, his hands weren't fisted anymore. They were on his sides. His hair was messy and sweat mixed with tears running down his face. I wanted to spot his dimple but I saw none. I take my right hand away from our sons back and hold Kiaans finger and guild me closer. He just follows like a lost person only looking at our son.
"O-our s-son." I kiss his head one last time before passing him to the speechless and blown away Kiaan. I shuffle a little for Kiaan to sit beside me. The midwife and nurse had left us alone and I just glanced at Kiaan with his lips parted like he wanted to say something but his face remained so-blank.
"K-Kiaan." I whisper, resting my palm into his shoulders.
His tiny fingers curled around Kiaan pinky just when my husband was about to touch our baby's face. I wished to capture this moment. To take a picture and frame it and just look at it for the rest of my life but it was only in our memory. My thumping heart melts noticing Kiaan's tear touching our baby's cheek and he wipes it away from him quickly.
"H-h-he's o-o-our child." Kiaan kisses our son all over his face and I just watch with my own trembling lips aching to kiss him. Just when Kiaan was about to put the baby's head on his shoulder he starts to fret and cry. I remember how Kiaan's mother had told me dealing with a little baby is tougher than it looks but I was ready. I sound so creepy but I think his cry is so cute that I almost cried again.
This was a new person in our lives and I'm already feeling the love for him more than I've loved anymore in my life.
I took the little baby from Kiaan and brought him closer to my heart. "W-what should we call him?" Kiaan looks at our son who I'm rocking in my hand to stop him from crying.
"He's like our third eye, Kiaan. And I have a perfect name for him." I smile, wrapping him closer to myself. I drift my eyes away from our son for a moment and see Kiaan curiously looking at me. Even after such a hectic day he looked so handsome. 'If your mother had a son she wanted to name him--' "Ishaan." My heart swelled up feeling his wet eyes on our faces. "And papa can call him Iaa, ju-just l-like h-he c-calls Ma." I cry putting Ishaan's head on my shoulder, my hands running slowly on his back.
Kiaan wraps us both into his protective hug and kisses the top of my messy and wet hair. "And in this name it represents both of your parents' names. I love, respect and envy your love for your parents. I truly do."
Every time I'd say my sons name it'd remind me of my parents. Papa won't live forever, I've learnt to accept the truth that one day we all die. If he ever leaves, just like Ma, I'll still have a part of my parents into my son. The 'Isha' from Ishaani and the 'An' from Ansh, Kiaan was right. It does represents my parents' names.
On twenty-fifth October 1993 my father lost the love of his life but gained me. And on the twenty-fifth September 2019 I gained another person I loved. From my parents sacrifice-my mother losing her life and my father learning to love the child behind his wife's death-today, I found someone new, someone special to love more than myself. The only difference was, unlike papa, I didn't reborn for someone. I just grew mature and a better version of myself. A better version for my new family.
Married My Enemy
Do you like their son's name? BTW the name Ishaan means 'The Third Eye Of Shiva' (Shiva/Shiv is an Indian Hindu god)
This book was meant to complete yesterday but it was too late last night over here to write three more chapters so I slept. I'll finish it today though.