"I'm in a bind Scarlett. The talent I'd booked for the shoot got offered something paying more. I need you" Isla exclaimed. She sounded genuinely stressed out. Something that wasn't a very regular occurrence for her. Not to mention she'd called me at 8am on a Sunday, the time I usually reserved for sleeping.
"Me?" I choked back sleepily shifting in the bed, still mulling over the fact she'd asked me to be a model for her.
"and a guy." She added.
"a guy?" I gulped.
"It's an abstract shoot. I need two people."
"I don't know, I mean...."
"Come on, I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate"
"Fine.... god." I croaked, I wasn't sure what this photo shoot would entail though, and the thought alone scared me.
"I asked Jay, but he's busy today laying down his part of songs. Apparently Xavier is still in hiding. I know he hasn't talked to you in a while, but maybe it's worth a shot?" She suggested.
I frowned, I wasn't sure what was Xaviers problem. After the dinner he'd just shut off and wouldn't talk to me. It had hurt that he wouldn't take my calls. Noah had said I was better off without him. "friends like Xavier are noxious weeds. Only around when they want something" He'd said.
Only, Xavier wasn't like that. I knew he wasn't. Something else was going on.
"Fine. I'll call him one last time Isla, but, don't hold your breath." I groaned back. Surprised she had suggested him, she was hardly his biggest fan.
"Call me back straight after, then we can arrange to meet!" She exclaimed, sounding like all her Christmases were about to come at once.
I hung up the phone and dialed Xaviers number. It rang, then surprisingly he answered.
"I'm sorry" He said before I could I could get a word out.
"You should be. We have that great talk, I think everything is fine and then you just go cold. I'm sick of it." I replied, momentarily forgetting why I was calling.
"I know. I'm going to try really hard not to be a complete douche anymore?" he replied.
"It'll be a stretch, you sure you're up for the challenge?" I teased back, I felt a smile on my face and a blush in my cheek. God I was easy.
"I need to be."
"Okay, well in that case, Isla needs our help, and if we don't help her it would be pretty douche-like of us both."
"I see what you did there."
"Just come pick me up okay?"
"Fine. I'll be there soon."
I hung up and called Isla back, to say she was happy was a bit of an understatement. She screamed so loud down the phone line that it almost deafened me. She told us to come down to a park out in the middle of nowhere that she'd rented from the owner for the day. She had all the props ready to go. She just needed us.
When Xavier arrived I resisted the urge to hug him, I wanted to feel his arms around me, I felt so safe there. I couldn't though, girls with boyfriends didn't hug boys... not according to Noah anyway.
We drove to the park Isla had directed us to.
As we walked toward her Xavier finally asked me what it was we were supposed to help with.
"Her models dropped out"
"models... we're going to be stand in models?" He replied his voice dripped with disbelief
"Gee thanks." I feigned offense and poked my tongue out at him like a school kid.
"Scar, you're fine. You're beautiful... me on the other hand, I'm rough and tattooed. I'm hardly the ideal candidate."
"She suggested you." I whispered, still surprised by that fact myself.
"Guys! Yay! Oh god, you don't know how thankful I am you came. This shoot is worth $10k for me"
"that's a nice pay day" Xavier smiled
"It's for an advertisement"
"Oh?" I replied, shocked once again. Did that mean people would see me. Oh man. I wanted to make like a douche and run away as fast as my legs could take me.
"Yeah... um.. I probably should have mentioned, it's for a new line of sexy sheets." She said slyly as she looked over in my direction. My eyes flicked up to meet hers.
I then looked over at Xavier who smiled, and then laughed. "Sexy sheets!"
"It's the brand name" I croaked. "They have a line of sheets that are solely for intimate nights." bile was rising in my throat and dizziness swirled around my head.
"Something like that exists!" Xavier was almost inconsolable with laughter.
I looked up at Isla who was biting back her own laughter.
"I can't do this" I murmured, realizing what the 'abstract' shoot was going to entail.
I'd seen their previous advertisements. One in particular stuck out in my mind. A man was on a bed, part of a sheet covered him, and there was a girl walking toward him in nothing but a thong. They were racy and sexual and I wasn't comfortable with that, not to mention Noah would have a fit.
I turned and walked away from the two. Xaviers laughter stopped almost instantly.
I walked across the field, I'm not sure if they called out, because my entire body had stopped working cohesively the moment I'd worked out what Isla was wanting me to do.
I stood by his car, unsure of what to do. I couldn't leave. Xavier ran over a few minutes later and leaned beside me up against the car.
"Isla said it's not like the other ads."
"Oh?"
"No, they've asked her to specifically focus on love and touch."
I gulped, I think I preferred the idea of the thong. Posing romantically would expose me. He'd know how I felt, Hiding it would be futile and I wasn't sure I could handle that.
"Isla said she can call around for another girl, but I'll only do this with you, and we'll be making her job twice as difficult if we walk away."
"You're making me feel guilty" I frowned.
"Is it working?" he replied with a soft chuckle.
I huffed and nodded. "Fine. But only because I don't want to let Isla down" I frowned as I walked back towards Isla. She placed her phone back in her pocket and looked at me with hope in her eyes.
"You'll do it?"
"Yes"
Isla grinned and picked up the canvas bag she had with her. She pulled out a small flesh colored bandeau bra and underwear "They're brand new." She smiled.
Confused I took the small scraps of material. We were in the middle of a park, by a lake, there was no where to actually get changed. Isla said something to Xavier, but I was so dumbfounded I didn't actually hear what she said.
Xavier began undressing, his shirt came of first, then his shoes and socks. I heard Isla cough loudly from behind me, so I turned to face her. She shrugged and then smiled.
"Come over here, I'll shield you from the perverted boy while you get changed" She laughed
"Me?" Xavier exclaimed. "I've seen.... I mean, I'm not going to look"
His voice was high pitched and he tripped on his words as he spoke. He didn't realize Isla knew about our night together, I hadn't told him she knew. I felt my skin heat up as I remembered just how he had seen me... Twice. I walked over to Isla who unfolded one of the sheets and held it up. I quickly changed, thanking myself for wearing a skirt. Something I almost never did.
Once I was changed Isla dropped the sheet and pushed me by the shoulder blades towards an almost naked Xavier.
She stood beside us, her head tilted for almost a full minute before she wrapped the sheet around us both.
"Closer" She murmured.
I sighed and looked up at Xavier. His hazel eyes glistened in the sun light and a cheeky smile crossed his face. He lifted a hand to my chin and whispered 'relax' under his breath. I felt secure and safe, whilst feeling incredibly vulnerable. It didn't make sense. Ready to be exposed Scarlett.
"Stay like that!" Isla screeched, her words interrupted my thoughts, but I was thankful for the distraction.
I heard numerous clicks before Isla stopped and walked back over. She unwrapped us from the sheet. She placed it down beside her camera.
"I need the fan. Stay right here" Isla ran off toward her car, leaving Xavier and I standing there practically naked.
I began shivering almost instantly. It wasn't even that cold, I was shivering because I already missed his touch. Xavier noticed the shivering, he picked up the sheet that Isla had placed on the tarp by her camera. He wrapped it around my shoulders then pulled me in to his arms.
"Better?"
"I guess" I stuttered, but the shivering continued because Xaviers touch, even though I had it back, had me in knots. Xavier's head rest against the top of mine, I could feel the warmth of his breath skim my forehead. Soft, uneven breaths that mirrored my own.
The clicking from behind me returned. Isla was back. She moved around us and took pictures before finally pulling me away from Xavier. She placed the fan to my right and wrapped the sheet around my chest. She set Xavier to my right as well. Walking toward me.
For over any hour she modeled us in various positions, some close, some apart. I distanced myself from my feelings as much as I could. It was all I could do.
"I wanted to try something... I won't if you're not comfortable." Isla murmured as she looked over at us both. "The idea was, to make a hammock out of a sheet and well, take photos of my models together." She bit her lip and smiled.
I looked at Xavier who shrugged, then I took a long slow breath before nodding. Xavier helped Isla make the hammock from the oversized sheet. Xavier tested it first, and it held so I hopped in next to him.
I looked up at him as he looked down at me. "You're beautiful" Be whispered before pressing his lips to my forehead. My heart began racing and if Isla hadn't been above us on the step stool taking pictures I may have kissed him, hard and passionate, thrown caution to the wind.
"So are you" I whispered back.
Xavier's smile slowly turned to a frown, he began to clench his jaw. "So is Noah too, right" He said coolly before getting out of the hammock. He picked up his clothes and put them on as he walked toward his car.
"What was that about?" I choked, Sitting up. Isla got off the stool and held her hand out for me. She pulled me up and out of the hammock.
"I think today finally got to him" She murmured. "You guys have been sparking off of each other all day."
I walked over to my clothes and picked them up. I couldn't deny the sparking, I'd felt it. Xavier and I had a connection.
"Are you okay with everything, I should go talk to him" I replied as I slipped my skirt on over the top of the nude underwear.
"Yeah, go. You guys really saved my ass today. Keep the fleshies... I'll want to use you guys again I hope you realize"
I shook my head and let out a nervous laugh.
I ran across the park and over to Xaviers car as I pulled my shirt on over my head. I sighed with relief as I watched him watching me running toward him. He was leaning against the bonnet of his car. His shirt unbuttoned still.
"I'm sorry" He called out.
"About what"
"Mentioning your boyfriend" He said boyfriend like it was his least favorite word in the world
He walked around to the drivers door and unlocked it. His hazel eyes caught mine and he smiled before he hopped in. I ran to the passenger door and opened it.
"Why did you mention Noah" I murmured. "I hadn't thought of him until then"
"I know. I guess being that close to you for that long was beginning to effect me in ways I could no longer control." He laughed. "reminding myself that you're off limits... was my only hope."
I sat down in the passengers seat and let my head fall against the headrest. The words flew out of my mouth before I could filter them.
"I'm not off limits to you"
"Scarlett" he warned "You shouldn't say things you don't mean"
"You're right. Sorry. Uh I need to go home." I replied flustered.
Xavier started the car and drove me home. We were silent the entire way. Even though I'd said I wouldn't throw myself at him again, even though I had a boyfriend... I'd managed to put myself in a position where we were in close proximity, I'd managed to throw myself at him with words.
Xavier was my forbidden fruit. I wanted him even though I knew he was bad for me.
He pulled into my driveway and turned the ignition off.
"Thanks. Bye" I said as I hurried to undo my belt. I'd made a fool of myself again. I needed to get away from him and cool off for a while.
I almost ran up the path, and fumbled through my key chain to unlock the door. I slipped the key in the lock and turned it, when the door opened, my cats came out to greet me. Vax purred up against my leg and meowed softly. "at least you love me" I murmured down to my cat.
"I love you" Xavier spoke so quietly that I could barely hear him, I hadn't even realized he'd got out of the car. I spun around, surprised to find him on the steps behind me.
"Xavier..."
"I love you. I always have" he whispered again. The confession whirled through my ears, engulfing my heart and soul in one quick motion. I could hardly believe what I was hearing.
"The girl... the accident" I replied, confused. He'd loved her hadn't he?
"She was never my girlfriend. I was too hung up on you" He admitted, his eyes were sad, lost, hurt a mixture of emotions swirled through and projected toward me.
"Me?"
"You... always you."
my heart was beating so fast it could have powered my whole street alone. I'd wanted him to love me and he did. He always had. Toni was right.
But he'd waited, waited until after I had a boyfriend to tell me. His timing was more than poor.
Still I couldn't deny the waves of pure joy that rocked through me. I loved him too after all.
"I'm not good for you" He continued. "I'm selfish, and angry. I've hurt you so much and I've only been back a few weeks."
"Everybody hurts Xavier. Everyone has their demons. I don't begrudge you yours."
"But I do." He took a step back, then another and another.
"I love you too" I replied, hopeful my own confession would bring him back to me, but it didn't.
He turned and walked to his car, then hopped inside and drove away.
He was right. He did hurt me, especially when he walked away, but now I knew why.
The rest of the afternoon I moped around, elbow deep in Cheetos.
I tried to call Noah, everything else aside, it was clear to me now that I'd only agreed to date him to forget where my heart truly lay. I'd attempted to use him and it was wrong. He wouldn't answer though, his phone would connect to voice mail after three rings.
I zoned out watching TV, and didn't resurface until around 5pm when there was a knock at the door.
"Yoohoo!" I heard Isla call.
"Yeah?" I called out through a mouthful of Cheetos. "Come in"
Isla walked in and shook her head "What happened."
"Not much" I groaned.
"Yeah right."
She sat down beside me and handed me a small envelope. "The best shots from today."
I sighed and wiped my cheeto dust covered hands on my skirt. Gingerly I opened the envelope and slid out the contents. The photos were amazing. Natural, I could see the love between us now, it was obvious, I wasn't sure how I'd missed it, or ever thought it was one sided.
I couldn't stop the flow of tears when they started, it was like a never ending waterfall.
"Are you okay?" Isla questioned, she was concerned, deeply, I could hear it in her voice.
"They're beautiful" I sobbed.
"Yes, they are. They haven't even been retouched yet, and they're practically perfect. The marketing team are going to lose their shit when they see Xavier. I'll probably get paid 5 times as much, Of course I'll share it, but... I feel like most of these photos isn't about the photographer, or the equipment. It's about you two. I think I underestimated him"
"It doesn't matter" I replied.
"Yes it does. You love him, don't you"
I placed the photos down on the couch and hung my head. I loved him alright, but the fool thought that he wasn't worth me and He kept leaving me.
"I don't want to talk about him" I murmured. "I just want to forget for a while."
"Karaoke tonight?" Isla suggested softly.
I looked up and went to shake my head, but Isla's puppy dog eyes made me smile. We hadn't been in so long, and the idea of releasing some tension through music sounded inviting.
"Okay" I agreed
"Okay, well, you throw the damn Cheetos out, have a shower. Perk up and I'll come back and get you around 7pm okay?"
"okay" I smiled
"Can I borrow your cell for a mo."
"Uh why?"
"I need to call Jay real quick, my phone is in all the photo shoot stuff"
I groaned then reached in to my pocket and handed it over "I'll give you a moment, just leave it on the couch"
Isla nodded as she took the phone "See you in a couple of hours!"
She smiled, wide and there was something in her eyes that made me wonder if I should question her motives. She was thinking something over, but I didn't want to think to hard about it.
I walked from the room and down to my bedroom. Tonight no man would worry me, it'd be me, the microphone and endless tracks of beautiful music to release my tension.
Stuck between a man I liked, but didn't love and a man I loved, but sometimes didn't like was the cruelest kind of torment a cynic like me could be subjected too. Both proving and disproving my thoughts on love simultaneously.
****
Sorry! it's a couple of hours late! - it's worth it though, and the next chapter will be even more so I promise.
As always, feel free to follow me on twitter @eelyah21 or facebook.com/xebbex
Going up is on amazon if you want to buy it, http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00M9XPHWM
I better get back to writing chapter 13, cos I know you're going to want it SOON