[Not edited]
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I flinched a little when steps past by me causing me to wake up And blink around in the darkness .
Everything was still kind of spinning but with a few seconds of time given. I managed to focus and find myself just when the door opened slowly and I watched the shadow of someone walk outside.
A frown took over my face when I effortly moved the what felt like hundreths of blankets off me, being careful when I lifted jongins arm off from around me to gently lay it back down .
I swollowed when I got to hang my feet over the edge of the couch, I could tell I would be unsteady. A few seconds was what I needed anyway, to focus again and not already fall over before I even got the change to get to my feet.
My head was still pounding slightly but it didn't stop me when I dared to move foreward and step on my feet .
Bad idea.
In a second when I was standing, everything was spinning in the dark making it harder to see and I stumbled to the side crushing into something warm .
I surpressed a gasp trying to move away when 2 arms suddenly grabbed mine to hold me in place,, kyungsoo?"
Sehuns whisper made me halt and blink to shake the dizziness off when I looked up to meet his face in the darkness ,, what are you doing ?"
,, i-I need to talk to him "
I mindlessly whispered out to him .
,,who?" At first I was confused but then I realised he couldn't have known I meant hyunsik, did he know I heard their conversation ?
,, h-hyunsik .." I sighed and spotted how his eyebrows rose so I continued explaining ,, I heard what you were talking about in the forest "
He swollowed but didn't say any more and rather lowered his hands
,, you sure you're in the condition to tho ? You can bearly walk .. jongin will kill me if he knew I let you go outside like that "
,, it's not like I'm going to spent the night there, I just want to talk to him that's all " I grumbled under my breath and it caused him to giggle lightly.
,, I can't stop you anyway.. Luna " he teased and I wanted to roll my eyes but knew better than that considering my dizziness ,, I'll get you to the door at least " he spoke as he threw a jacket around me and wrapped another scarf around my neck which was big And long enough to make me have problems looking over it .
My expression was blank, somehow I wasn't surprised he did that, he seemed more amused than statisfied by my appearance now as he slowly guided me to the door .
,, thanks.. anyway ? I gueds " I told him patting his arm as he even opened the door for me huffing to himself before he closed it after me and I found myself standing by the steps. There was a bench just by the house wall and my eyes landed on the shadow of him instandly .
,, hyunsik" I called carefully to not startle him and he turned his head to me a little surprised .
I stumbled forewards and bearly down the stairs, he already got to his feet moving toward me before I had even reached the bench
,, what are you doing ? You should be sleeping "
,, I need to talk to you " I found myself not rejecting his offer to help and steady me ,, can we sit down ?"
I felt like a grandpa, not being able to stand for too long .. my heels were killing me and I didn't even walk or stand for more than 10 minutes .
And he helped me sit down as I leaned back and exhaled.. my back was killing me too ,, is this what old people have to deal with all the time ?"
He didn't even react to that and rather stared out into the darkness of the forest with only the little stars showing on the sky as the rest was covered with the clouds.
,, you mean pregnant ..people "
My eyes drifted to him as he said that . Usually I wouldn't have noticed the undertone he had but knowing what he actually felt like made me notice it.
,, hyunsik listen, ... I.. I know "
,, what ?" He frowned at me seeming confused but I know he feard inside that I knew something he didn't want me to
,, I heard you talk with Sehun .. "
He closed his eyes lifting his hands to bury his face in them as he leaned foreward.
,, hyunsik it's ok "
There was no respons from hin and it made me sigh as i pressed my lips together Folding my hands.
,, I'm .. sorry.." I Muttered ihr painfully glancing at him again.
,, i didnt know .. and im sorry that you felt like you couldnt tell me.."
He Moves his head at that frowning at me so i lowered my gaze to my hands again. ,, why would you Apologize and how is this ok ?" I was about to Open my mouth and say something but he didnt let me ,, I've been feeling this way ever since I turned 14 kyungsoo.. I shouldn't be keep holding onto it even after all these years .. I'm still holding onto this feeling even tho you're clearly with someone else.. hell your even getting a child with him.
I know you think of me as a brother .. it's not your fault. I should be feeling glad for you cause obviously, he's treating you well but I can't help but be selfish and get these crazy thoughts of what if jongin disappeard.. would you give me a chance then " my heart stopped as he said that, especially what he said about what was going through his head.
,, hyunsik .." I started slowly swallowing while searching for the right words to say.
,, sometimes I even wish that you would hate me, so that I could hate you back and just not feel this way anymore .. it's realy tiring. It realy is " I my hand landed on his shoulder in comfort .
,, don't say stuff like that, I know you're hurting but.. I'll help you ok now that I know u can watch out and-"
,, that's not what I want .. I .. I just don't want this situation"
At this moment I probably wished we had been attacked again and fought more off rather than having to deal with this ..situation .. I didn't know exactly how he felt because I've luckily never had to feel this way. The first and only person I will love was and will always be jongin.
I just wanted to help him but I didn't know how to .. I guess I had been thinking of what to do too long and he I couldn't stop myself from pulling him closer and into a hug. When I thought of how much I had put salt into his wounds with my actions. How I disappeard without a word and then reappears mated with a wolf, that used to be oure enemy.
Hyunsik was like a big brother, who had always taken care of me before jongin could. We took care of each other and I was probably more closer to him than anyone else including my father... But I never considered there to be more than that..
I closed my eyes when he sniffed crying silently into my shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me aswell .
,, it's ok .. it's gonna be ok, your not alone in this, we will figure it out ok "
I had to be honest no idea how to handle it, but i figured since hyunsik was open enough to Sehun to tlak to him about this, that Sehun might know or help me figure out how to help or handle this. Maybe if hyunsik just grew a little bit closer to jongin he might find it easier to accept this all .
Right now it seemed more like this pack was divided in groups. There's me and jongin, chanyeol and baekhyun and there's Sehun and hyunsik.
I hadn't realy paid attention to it but it's true and it doesn't do well on anyone. Especially since chanyeol and baekhyun at least still have that kind of connection with me and jongin but hyunsik and Sehun seemed to be completely cut off to us .. even to me .
,, you should go inside.. it's cold "
He mumbled pulling back from the hug and I still looked over him worriedly.
I wasn't relay cold but he seemed to be shivering a little so I took my scarf off and wrapped it around him lazily while offering him a smile.
,, so .. that means You're gay too " I attempted to joke a little and he ended up smirking weakly to himself.
,, you're not interessted in any girls ?"
He turned his head to me looking over my face and I hated the fact that it made me feel shy now, because the newly found information was just there ,, I've never felt toward anyone but you this way.. and ive never realy cared for girls "
I looked down at that biting my lip . It was a long shot but I knew he didn't like getting close to people, yet he managed to open up to someone
,, what about Sehun?"
He frowned instandly turning to me again and I pressed my lips together innocently. ,, no .. not at all "
,, but he's cute .."
He only looked at me as if asking me if I were serious ,, oh come on .. I'm just saying ... he hasn't turned 18 yet either so you never know what will happen " I ended up smiling to myself when I felt warm inside and unconciouslly placed my hands on my belly leaning back again to give space for me to stroke over it in a slow pace.
,, we should get inside "
He sighed finally, appearing in front of me with an outstreched hand but I wouldn't take it yet when I took a good look at him
,, are we good ?"
The rolling of his eyes made me bite my lip ,, corse we are now let's go before you get sick"
,, promise to talk to me if anything hurts or bothers you .. ok ?"
He nodded and my hand reached out to hold his .
Arriving back inside, I almost I flinched and screamed when jongin suddenly stood there to the right after we closed the door .
He smiled gently at my reaction and I looked down with a blush .. I would have to talk about the argument with him too .. this isn't something that should be left open especially after what I said. I know it might sound harmless to someone else but I know somethig like this could hurt him more than an injury simply because sit was coming from me .. his mate .
He reached out tho, grasping my hand carefully and I dare to look up, expecting to meet his reassuring eyes but instead his eyes were filled with sympathy and they weren't directed at me but at hyunsik.
Did he hear ? .. he probably did.
But why wouldn't he be mad ?
,, let's go to bed" his vice pulled me out of my thought and I noticed how hyunsik had already started walking away when jongin stepped closer to me.
I only nodded faintly watching hyunsiks back as he walked up the stairs.
,, come on " he started guiding me to follow.
•♡•
,, about .. oure fight " I starts bravely when he took off my shoes so I wouldn't have to been foreward to so it even tho I was still able too . My belly was that big yet .. just big enough to be noticed. It to be honest just looked like my stomach has swollen up a little .
,, aren't you tired to talking ?" He looked up after he removed my shoes.
,, I.. just .. I need to," It will keep bothering me if I don't ,, I relay didn't mean any of what I yelled at you "
He sighed placing his hands on my knees as he was still crouching before me. ,, me neither, now let's go to bed. It doesn't matter anymore "
,, it does !.." I unconsciously spoke louder, cursing myself for how emotionally unstable I was as tear already started to hold in my eyes when I looked to the ground besides me ,, it's not just because of what we said .. I was acting as if hyunsik was all I cared about but that's not true .. I don't want you to think I would chose him over you. Cause that's not true.. you're both important to me but hyunsik is like a brother and-"
,, shh .." He cupped my face, whipping over the only tear that made it out of my eye. ,, I know .. kyungsoo, it's ok I get it. It realy doesn't matter anymore, you're here and I know you want to be.. I know your mine " he laughed lightly in the end and I couldn't help but follow him fearfully as I whiped over both my eyes to get a clear vision .
,, now let's go to bed" he took his shirt off when standing up straight while I crawled more onto the bed throwing my jeans to the side before I snuggled under the blanket with him following from the opposite side.
He laid on his back wrapping an arm around me and I instincly moved to lay my head on his chest, at which his hand pulled me closed to lay half on him.
A beautiful feeling of het another thousand waves of sparks and butterflies as I smiled with closed eyes already starting to drift off when he pulled the blanket over the both of us running his fingers through my hair .