Matty was asleep, it was past ten o'clock in the morning.
Sylvia had popped into my room to give me a cup of coffee that wasn't really the tastiest thing in the world.
I was sitting on our scorched bed, my legs crossed over and the mug sitting in between them.
I was fully aware that I looked horrendous.
I brought the mug up to my mouth and sipped it slowly, glancing over at Matty who was still asleep.
His hair was tossed over his face, his eyes tightly screwed shut, his mouth a straight line. I reached over and gently stroked his hair out of his face.
I smiled as I played with the wavy locks.
I expected his eyes to open, and me to be caught with my hand pretty much feeling up his scalp. I waited for embarrassment, but it never came.
After it started getting weird for me, I removed my hand gently, not missing the opportunity to brush my fingertips across his stubbly cheeks.
"You need to shave." I whispered, obviously not expecting him to hear me.
"I know." he said. I jumped back, removing my hand from his chin.
His mouth turned up into a grin and his eyes opened, crinkling up as he chuckled.
"Um, sorry." I said, blushing furiously.
I directed my gaze away from his face and up to the cracked, cream coloured ceiling.
Sunlight was peeking through the curtains and lighting up the room in a dim orange glow.
I squinted, the light catching my eyes, stunning me briefly.
"Your eyes are blue." he said, his face still squished against the pillow.
"Really? I hadn't noticed." I rolled my eyes, but I still grinned at what he had said.
"No, I mean, like, I'd noticed, obviously. But they're nice." he said. I blushed, looking at my kneecaps, hoping he wouldn't notice and if he did that he wouldn't bring it up.
"T-thanks." I stuttered, taking another sip of my coffee.
Matty laughed.
When he laughed, I felt so happy, because he was.
I laughed as well.
"I'm going to get dressed." I said, handing him my cup of the worst coffee on the planet that was still pretty much full, then I got off the bed and grabbed my underwear, a pair of black jeans, a black vest top and a sheer plaid patterned top.
I walked into the bathroom, washed, got dressed then pulled my hair up into a high pony tail.
I stared into the mirror for about three minutes, debating whether or not I should put make up on, I decided against it, then I walked out.
My body realised what Matty was doing before my mind did.
"What are you doing?" I asked, bitterness invading my voice as I stormed towards him, taking the sheet of paper away from him.
I stared down into the faces of my mum, dad and seven year old Elizabeth.
"What the fuck were you doing?"
Matty stared at me, his lips parted, had I not been so furious, I would have found it cute or something stupidly romantic like that.
"Matty, what the fuck were you doing going through my stuff?" my hands shook as I stormed past him towards my bedside table. I opened the top drawer that I had previously filled with photographs, old notepads and my books and I gently placed it inside the cover of The Bell Jar.
"I- I..."
"Matty!" I said.
"I just, the drawer was open a bit and I was curious and I saw that and I recognised the dress and I... sorry. Sorry. I shouldn't have done that, you're right. Sorry." he dragged his hands through his hair as he spoke to me.
"Wait, what dress?" I asked.
"The one your mum was wearing," he sat down on the corner of the bed. "It's probably nothing though."
I opened the drawer and took the picture out again.
My mum stood next to me, her arms around me, hugging me like my dad was.
She was wearing a green dress with long sleeves and I suddenly wanted to be sick.
I shoved the picture back into the drawer and slammed the damn thing shut.
I sat next to Matty and let out a short, sharp scream.
"Why the fuck can't everything be simple." without meaning to, I fell into Matty's shoulder.
"Surely it's just... a different version of the same dress?"
"No, Matty. It was my mum's dress." I shut my eyes.
I should have been overjoyed, I'd always thought that I would have been, once I figured out where my mum was, but I was furious.
Matty didn't question me, he didn't make me feel like I was mad like everyone else would have done in that situation.
"I need to go to-"
"I know." he said.
Matty grabbed his clothes and ran into the bathroom to get dressed, meanwhile I pulled on a pair of socks and lace up brown ankle boots.
He was done after three minutes, he put his shoes on and we left, just like that.
"Bye then!" Sylvia called at us from the kitchen as we walked out of the front door.
"Bye." Matty and I shouted through the house.
We walked slowly, because I was angry and we were both tired, so we needed time to wake up a bit, and I needed to steam off.
When we were standing outside the market, I found myself reaching for Matty's hand. He interlocked our fingers and squeezed my hand gently.
"I like them." I muttered to Matty as we passed a stall with a pair of dark green Dr. Martens sitting outside it.
"I prefer the black ones." he told me. I nodded.
"Yeah, of course you would. That's the colour of the majority of your clothes." I said. He grinned at me.
It wasn't very busy surprisingly. Although, most people would have been working.
We stopped outside a stall that sold incense sticks and various other things, Matty bought me five for one pound, then we walked a bit further and came to a halt.
The older woman was inside.
I pulled Matty closer to her.
"Excuse me," I said quietly, but I still caught her attention. "Um, we were looking for the woman with red hair."
"Stacy?" she asked. I nodded my head.
"She'll be back in ten minutes, she's just gone to get some coffee, dear." the woman explained. I thanked her.
Matty and I ended up looking at clothes for the ten minutes until my mum arrived, and when she did Matty squeezed my hand tighter, stopping me from doing anything I'd regret.
"Are you sure about this?" he whispered into my ear. I nodded my head.
She handed the coffee to the other woman and walked over.
"Hello again, come to look at that table again?" she asked me, looking at Matty and my hands and smiling politely.
"Um, not exactly."
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a/n
secretly hoping that this wasn't too cheesy and horrible and ugh.
i enjoyed writing it though, and i want to write more but i have stuff to do, like chores, maths, french, biology, cooking (which i enjoy, but whatever) stuff like that. :(((
please please please tell me what you thought.
i love you all. :)))
thank you for all of the support i've been given recently. :)