I apologize for my break down so here y'all go. Skip a bit if you read the chapters before.
~*~
As we're walking back I notice it's taking awfully long for us to arrive. I turn to look at him but he's staring straight ahead. "When will we arrive."
"Later." He says keeping his serious face and not looking at me.
I get angry and snatch my hand away from his(we were still holding hands since we left). "I want to go home now. We have to pray!" I yell at him. I have never been that much of a religious person but the one thing I did do was pray and now he was getting in my way.
"I said okay. We're just taking the long way. I don't want people to see you with blood on your shirt and start making up some drama." He reply's.
I try. I really do try to keep my mouth shut and understand his point of view. And I do understand but the "girl" in me has another idea and speaks for herself.
"Oh! So now your embarrassed by me? You don't want people taking bad about you and saying shit like how your wife sick and crazy." He try's to interrupt me but I stop him and raise my voice. "Shut up! I'm not done. Okay you didn't seem to mind seeing blood on me the last time you raped me and now your embarrassed because of it. I saw the look in your eyes. You were so relieved that I bled and now your saying you don't like that there's blood on me?!" I scream and start crying. "Your just like him. Using me to get pleasure like I'm some type of toy." I grunt and stomp my feet a little.
He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. I start wiping the tears that won't stop pouring out of my eyes. Then I start walking straight not knowing where I'm going but Ahmed follows closely behind.
About another 10 minutes of us walking it stars raining again. I don't know why but this past week it has been raining nonstop.
"I'm sorry." I hear Ahmed say and stop walking but I don't stop. As I continue walking, he comes behind me and forces me to stop by grabbing my shoulders and turning me around to face him. I don't look up at him. "Please just let me explain." He says. I can hear the sadness in his voice.
I continue looking down, but reply with an okay.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you and I don't want you to think that I'm like your dad. I don't know the full story since you were mixing your Arabic with English but I do know that I will never do anything to hurt you. I know he hurt you terrible and it affected you and I was stupid to do that to you even after you told me no."
I looked up at him and saw that he was sad but I didn't care. I turned around and kept walking only this time faster. The raining had started falling harder and I was really glad because they hid my tears. The down side was that my arm burned me from the thorn that I got from the cactus.
I know I should probable forgive him. I understand that it wasn't fully his fault. I know that he didn't mean what he had don't but he still did it. He fucking raped me!
"Are you going to forgive me?!" He asked running up after me. "Please Jasmine." I had only heard him say my name a couple times and hated to admit I liked the way it sounded coming out of his mouth.
I speed up my pace which was a bad idea because the rain had caused the ground to be slippery and muddy which caused me to slip.
Why do I always get mud all over me? I tried to stand up but just slipped again. This just made me angrier!
Ahmed comes to me and offers to help me which I denied because the feminist in me doesn't need a man to help her stand up.
He moves a couple steps away from me but no too far. I try to stand up and not slip which I thankfully did but as soon as I start walking end up slipping again. Ahmed offered to help which I this time accepted. He held out his hand and I grabbed on to it. Once our hands were together, he pulled me up.
"Do you want me to carry you?" He asked. As much as I wanted to say yes, I declined by shaking my head. He started walking ahead this time with our hands still together. I just followed quietly. "We're almost there."
I look around me but don't recognize where we are. I turn toward him and asked where we were?
He didn't reply but kept pulling me toward this wooden barn like house. It was different that his house and the others since this one was made with wood and all the other were made with rock and bricks. The door creaked as he opened it.
He went in first, still holding my hand. As I entered I noticed it was bigger on the inside then the out. It was dark and cold though, which I didn't like.
"Where are we?" I asked again and then stopping. He turned around, looked at me but didn't say anything. We stayed in the position for a couple minutes, hand holding and eyes staring back at each other. He looks a lot skinnier than the last time I saw him. He was always skinny but now he was just too skinny. I noticed we were both soaking wet.
Then my phone rang. Wait a minute. My phone rang! I quickly let go of his hand and lifted my robe up and took out my phone checking if it's still working. I mean it has to be since it rang. I looked at it and noticed the screen darker than usual but the volume seem fine. Thank goodness for my water proof case, right? I look at the caller and saw that it was Adam. Why does he keep bothering me. I decline the call then turn my back to look at Ahmed. I hate to admit that the call ruined our little moment.
"There's a bathroom over there." He points to a door. "You could wash up and pray. Oh and umm there should be some girl clothes somewhere." He says. I look at him with a confused look on my face curious as to where we are and why there's girl clothes here and how he knows. He was able to read the look on my face as he replied, "This is where me and Zack hang out with our friends and sometimes he brings his sister. You know Layla? Sometimes the others bring their wives as well. We all left some clothes here for emergencies like this one."
I nod my head then make my way to the bathroom. There are three steps lead to the door. I leave my phone outside on one of the steps as I start stepping up and entering the bathroom. The bathroom is empty other than the square toilet hole on the ground and the lidded buckets that I assume have cold water in them. There are holes on the ground for the water to go down in. I take off my lousy wet clothes and put them on one corner. I open one of the water and surprise surprise there is water in it. I feel it and again surprise surprise the water is cold. I've gotten used to cold showers but this water is near freezing. Nevertheless, I take a small cup that was near the buckets and fill it up before pouring the water on my head. I regret it instantly since like I said before the water was frozen. I decide to just wet my hand and scrub the dirt off. I do all this gently not to irritate my arms more than they already are.
After I'm done washing the mud off I wash again for prayer. After I'm all don't I'm left dumbfounded because I don't have any clothes. I don't want to put on the dirty clothes but I also don't want to walk out naked. I come to a conclusion and open the door a little bit before I call out for Ahmed. He answers within second. "Yes?" He asks nearing the door.
"Umm..are the clothes ready?!" I ask.
"Oh. Yeah of course but umm how do you want me to hand them to you without getting them wet?" He asks.
Y'all see I didn't think about that part but am quick to come up with another conclusion. "Do you have a towel?" I ask.
"Yeah here you go." He says. "I'll turn around and then you can open the door." He's already seen my body but I like how he knows I don't want to show it to him again.
"Okay turn around." I command. I open the door a little and peak. He's not looking but he did extend his arm. What I'm mad about though is that he didn't bother to step up on the stairs and with my luck, I know I'm gonna trip or something stupid is gonna happen like in the movies like him saving me.
I reach forward and(of course) trip but unlike the movies, he doesn't catch. I scream as I land flat on my stomach with my buttocks up in the air. Fuck my life.
"Oh god are you alright." Ahmed says but doesn't turn around. "I would help you but I don't think you would want me to look at your body." This causes me to become angrier because the one time I need him to look at my body he doesn't.
"Just help me." I say anger vivid in my tone. He turns around with worried expression on his face. His eyes don't roam my body as he drops the clothes and uses the towel to try to cover me before pulling me up.
He wrapped the towel around my back to the front so I felt his hands on my chest area but he's still looking at my face or my blue hair.
So my hair is black for the top(my roots) and only turn blue from above my ears and down. "When did you die your hair?" He asks.
I don't answer him as I ask where's the clothes. He picks them up and hands them to me. I hold the towel right around my body with one hand and take the clothes with the other. "I'll show you how to pray after you get dressed." He says then turns around and walks away.
I look at clothes and it's a pretty dark purple long robe with a belt meant be tied right below the chest area. There are a lot of these in Yemen but I never wear them because their too long on me. There are also gray pants and a black cardigan that both look too tight for me.
I decided to wear the clothes in the hallway not wanting to get them wet in the bathroom. I put the pants on first and the robe without removing the towel. After I'm well covered, I remove the towel then put on the cardigan. He also brought over a black scarf that usually comes with abayas which I hate but put it on anyways.
After I'm all dressed I make my way to where Ahmed disappeared too.
~*~
So I just came back from this ladies house to make Ahmed food and then I'm going back. Decided to post this cause I hurt y'all from the last chapter.
Also this 11 year old boy told me I looked like a sassy New Yorker and I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or insult.
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