Chapter 1
"I made a complete twat out of myself today!" I raged to my work colleague and friend Tanya. "I was still totally hanging from last nights drink sess, and I stopped off at that Costa coffee shop in Waterstones to get a drink. I stood looking at the menu and trying to get my mind to focus on what I wanted and not my hangover only to fall asleep whilst standing up"
"Oh you twat!" Tanya said pissing herself laughing at my misfortune.
"That is not the best bit, I fall and land at the feet of the hottest bloke I have ever seen in my life. I mean he was a serious piece of eye candy and just the right amount of sugar I need to get over this beast of a hangover. Anyway, I am on my knees in front of him but at this point I hadn't realised as I was still half asleep. Reality started to set in that I had crumpled to my knees and was sweating buckets of last night drink through my pores and I thought 'get up'. So I put my hands up to the counter to pull myself up but the counter felt weird and unstable. I look up to the counter, whilst still on my knees like an altar boy and realise it is not the counter I am holding, it is the hottie's belt."
"Ah ha ha!" Tanya cried. Quickly covering her mouth with her hand as others in the open plan office looked over.
"Shhhh," I reminded her. "Anyway there I am on my knees in the middle of Costa coffee, hands on the guy's trouser belt trying to pull myself up off the floor and groaning as I am hung over and have no energy left. People are staring because to them it looks like I am about to suck his cock."
Tanya gasped and placed a hand over her mouth as she cracked up.
"I start to realise what I was doing and what it looked like. Don't ask me why, but my mind felt the need to confirm that I was indeed in a shameful position. I look up at the hot guy and for a moment I think I have still got my beer goggles on because there is no way a guy this hot could exist. Yet there I was slumped at his feet, sweating, groaning and tugging on his belt in the middle of Costa coffee."
Tanya snorted with laughter behind her hands.
"He looked down at me and smiled because he is obviously finding this funny as fuck. I thought 'oh my god' and much like you're hiding behind your hands now, I automatically hid my face..." I paused to take a deep breath before breaking this one to Tanya. ".... against his crotch."
She screamed laughing and I had to join in.
"His crotch," she repeated once she was able to speak and I nodded. She fell about laughing again.
"Yes because my hands were on his belt so my face fell forward as if into my hands but it was his crotch," I felt myself flush at the memory.
Tanya was literally crying laughing. "What did you do?" she asked.
"He was very gallant and whilst trying not to laugh at me he said 'May I give you a hand?' and I pulled my face away thinking 'OH MY GOD RUN! RUN IN SHAME! You have just nuzzled your face in the guy's crotch'. He is looking down at me with the most gorgeous blue grey eyes. Not only that he has this blinding sexy smile, dark hair, navy suit... I've never seen such a prime specimen of man in all my life and he was extending his hand to help me. I was wet as a fish in seconds, this guy was SUPERB!" I stopped to fan myself and treat myself to a visual memory of him.
"He had a perfect hand by the way... I never thought I would notice a guys hand but now I have hand fetish. It was well sculpted, manicured, not a bitten nail in sight, warm and firm and ohhh what I imagine he can do with that hand," I said imagining it slipping down the front of my knickers.
"Oiii save your dirty daydreams until later," Tanya reminded me.
"I can't help it just the thought of that hand has me walking bandy!"
We both cracked up.
"It wasn't sweaty or cold from hold a pint of beer like one of those fuckwits at the bar last night. His hand was PERFECT! Unlike my hands which were still clenched in a vice like grip on his belt but thank god I didn't throw up on his cock. I placed my hand in his," I said holding out the hand to her so she could touch it like you would if you met a boy band as a teenager. "Not daring to make eye contact with him again. He helped me to my feet but I must have got up too quick as I stumble forward and nearly fell on him again. He put his hands up protectively, as you would when some mad drunk woman falls on you in a coffee shop which resulted in both his hands end up on my breasts!"
Tanya held her stomach in pain from laughing. I knew she was very close to peeing her pants!
"So the roles are now reversed, he has his hands on the drunk birds tits and I am more than aware that although I showered this morning I probably still smells of last night, beer, fags and attempted shags! Plus the sexy hands were on my breasts and my breasts knew about it! It was as thought my breasts had been waiting since puberty for that exact pair of hands. They have grown to fit those hands perfectly," I placed my hands on my breasts and relived the memory as I let my eyes roll and let out a little moan.
"What did you do?" Tanya asked whilst trying to regain control of hysterical laughter.
"I tried not to breathe on him as I have 'death breath' and said 'Well I guess that makes us even'. I turned quickly and left. I didn't even bother to get the coffee. I literally hoofed it out the door," I said. "My legs were shaking like bambi and my breasts were still so excited that my shirt looked like I was smuggling raisins. "
Tanya was in fits, "I bet you wish Ann Summers was open," she teased.
"I didn't need Ann Summers, I would have just needed two more seconds of those hands on my boobies and I'd have put Meg Ryan to shame."
We cracked up again but soon hushed up as people started arriving at their desks and I pretended to be reviewing emails but in reality I was googling images of mens hands to try to find one near enough a match to the coffee guys so I could show Tanya. Followed by navy suits, hair style, eye colour... ok I was obsessing and he was probably not as hot as I remembered but I'd never fancied anyone this much in my life.
"He smelt great, even over the smell of the coffee shop..."
"His crotch smelt great," Tanya said setting us both off again.
People in the office started to move towards the auditorium ready for the staff meeting. God I hated Monday's. I had just spent the first15 minutes in the toilet with my fingers down my throat to make myself sick, as I couldn't guarantee that I would not throw up during the meeting. I reapplied make up to my sweaty pale face and gave my big blue eyes a smokey look in an attempt to hide the dark circles from last nights frivolities. My dyed 'electric black' hair was now tied up in a stylish ponytail ready for the office. I was the perfect PA to the Director in my black pin stripped skirt and matching jacket, with a white V neck shirt and heels. The only thing missing was my tights as I ripped a big hole in them when I fell off the bed this morning trying to put them on. I thought fuck it who is going to be looking at my legs? They are hidden under a desk who cares if they have two days hair growth and are pale as football posts... well I do now as I would have preferred stubble free legs when falling on a sexy bastard. God damn you wig legs! I immediately convinced myself he had gone back to whatever sexy office he worked at and told them all about the hairy legged tramp who nibbled his sausage for breakfast. OMG as much as I was wishing to bump into him again when I was dolled up to the nines and out with my friends, the other side of me wanted to forget him and find a new coffee shop.
Even as the thought entered my mind I knew I would go back to the coffee shop in the morning to see if he was there just so my eyes and brain could stop arguing about whether he was really that good looking. My eyes swore blind he was the most gorgeous man on the planet but my hung over brain was convinced it was beer google haze left over from last night. Either way tonight I was going to spruce myself up and go back to that coffee shop tomorrow morning to see if he was there. If he was I would apologise and extend my hand to introduce myself. That way I would get to touch those hands again and then we will fall madly in love and live happily ever after... ok I would probably just give him an apologetic look and smile sweetly before ordering my drink and leaving quicker than the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland but hey a girl can fantasise.
I checked my appearance one more time in the mirror and thought... urgh! Quickly followed by fuck it! Tanya looked worse than me; she had scuffed knees from falling down the embankment. It was a brilliant night but boy were we paying for it today. Luckily most of the office was by the looks of things. It was only suppose to be a few drinks and a BBQ around my house but the sun was shining and it was perfect beer garden weather, so we all ventured out to my friends pub and got sloshed. Some people had crashed over at mine but weren't in any fit state to venture in today so I was noting them as 'working from home' or 'out at meetings' in their diaries. I had tried to remain sober and awake to ensure my cover for them was in place. What I really wanted to do was go home and kick them all out and lie on the sofa with my bunki and sleep it off.
"Come on you," Tanya said, "We are going to be late."
"Ok I am coming," I said pulling a face and wishing I hadn't word heels.
"They will have coffee and Danish pastries waiting for us," she said enthusiastically.
"Bagzee the raspberry one!" I said as we raced each other through the double doors of the auditorium reception area which was now full of over 500 staff members who found our giggling unprofessional.
We spotted some of our half drunken work mates at the coffee area and headed over. Goose bumps on my arms, ready in anticipation of the caffeine I was about to ingest. I was happy to see that the members of staff who I was going to have to cover for had finally turned up so I was off the hook. Mick in particular looked a shocking state as he held onto his coffee cup like it was a football trophy... no wait... a sippy cup. He had the DT's and was shaking worse than a patient in shock.
"You look rough," I said.
"Yeah well at least you birds can disguise a hangover with a bit of make up and low cut tops. Us blokes have to go au natural," he said smiling. "You still look shit though Shannon."
"Oh thanks for the compliment Mick, I will remember that next time I am covering for you," I said. "Now pass me some coffee before I die."
I gratefully received my drink and guzzled it down so I could get another one in before the meeting started.
The meeting went on forever!!! I had hid at the back in the dark with the others and nodded off twice. I had been nudged awake and broke into 'hangover shivers and sweats' a couple of times. By the time it finished it was lunch so Mick made the executive decision that we should go to the pub.
"Come on Shannon let go to the pub for the hair of the dog that so savagely bit you last night," Mick had suggested.
"Bit me, it ripped my throat out," I said laughing.
We all walked to the local pub and ordered some pub grub and beer. Grabbing a seat in the garden on long benches where we reminisced and laughed about last night.
"Shannon you look so pale and rough," Mick said as I struggled to eat some lunch.
"Shut up I look gorgeous," I said and shoved him playfully.
"If you were a dog they'd put you down," he said walking towards the bar for another drink.
"Wanker!" I called after him.
"Do you want another drink or not gobby chops?" Mick asked.
"Yes please Dad," I teased.
"Fucking..." he said shaking his fist at me for making him look old.
"My knees are killing," Tanya said holding a cube of ice on one.
"What did you?" someone asked.
"Don't tell me you missed it when Tanya fell down that hill?" I replied.
"No, I must have passed out drunk," was the response. "She fell down a hill?"
"Yeah and all we could hear was 'help me', we couldn't see a thing it was pitch black." I replied. "Mark, Wayne and Darren had to go down and help her back up, using their lighters as a torch. They carried her back up and she was covered in dirt, twigs and used condoms hanging out of her hair but all she was worried about was laddering her tights," we all fell about laughing as Tanya blushed.
"What was she doing to fall down there?" Rebecca asked. She was a married mother so never came out with us socially other than pub lunches and Christmas parties.
"Well we were in a mini bus taxi coming back down the motor way after a night out and they all wanted a wee. The bus pulled over and the lads got out and started having a pissing contest over the embankment. Tanya was desperate so she thought fuck it I'm going too. We looked out the window and all you can see is the lads stood there pissing with their backs turned to her. Tanya started squatting and pulling her tights and knickers down to go for a quick squizz, squat and drip dry when she lost her balance and all I saw was her white arse disappearing down the hill like a full moon falling out the night sky, she literally went arse over tit down the embankment." I said. Everyone was howling laughing but Tanya was still too hungover to be embarrassed. "We thought she was going to be found with her knickers around her ankles but she was pulling them up when they managed to find her," I laughed and shook my head in disbelief at Tanya's face.
"It's not funny I lost a fucking ear ring and laddered my tights, I had just brought them. I usually get to wear them at least three times before I wreck them," she said seriously making us all again. "Piss off the lot of you," she said. "At least I didn't fall over in Costa coffee this morning and nuzzle some stranger's coffee beans," she said to me.
"Touché," I said as I then retold the story to the table who all took the piss by getting me to re-enact it with David.
"Seriously I have never been so embarrassed in all my life," I said on my knees with my hands on Dave's belt.
"Well actually her hands were here," a voice said behind me and I shuffled around on my knees to see the hottie from the coffee shop behind me. He smiled.
"Oh my god it's him!" I said as everyone burst out laughing.
"Are you alright Liam," David said all chummy.
"Yeah how are you Dave?" Liam aka hottie from the coffee bar replied.
"Yeah cool," Dave replied.
"May I help you up, again?" Liam asked me indicating to his belt.
I was so embarrassed but his making fun of me made me brave. "No thanks you will probably just use it as an excuse to grab my tits, again," I said with a grin.
"You threw yourself at me, what was I suppose to do?" he replied. As everyone started saying 'Oh yeah tell us more' just to wind me up. "Nice breasts by the way," he said winking at me.
"Nice crotch," I said winking back. "Well at least I know your name now, I will mark it on my bed post when I get home" I said.
"Would you extend me the same courtesy?" he asked. "I mean I don't usually have strange women's faces in my lap in a coffee shop. I feel quite violated, knowing your name might help me recover and fill out the police report," he teased making me smile back.
He was funny and sexy.... oh my life I was about to drool!
"Sorry Liam, I prefer to remain an enigma," I said turning to fetch my handbag. Tanya followed suit as he watched me walk away without giving him my name as he had me so flustered I had momentarily forgotten it. Forgetting my own name... he obviously had a 'super power'.
"My god he was hot!" Tanya said.
"I told you," I reminded her whilst my brain was screaming 'he's really that hot'!
"Seriously I think we are going to have to stop off for some clean underwear or a panty liner as I am all of a quiver down there. He is fucking gorgeous," she said and we laughed as we walked back to the office.
I made a mental note to ask David everything about the mega gorgeous Liam as I tried not to plan a wedding in my head.