A/N
Oh my goodness! Yumm!
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If I had any hope that because of yesterday, maybe Xavier would treat me better, maybe he would actually talk to me, I was seriously mistaken.
Xavier was the same old stone slab. Saying as little words as he could and being as mean as he could. And I couldn't say that I hadn't hoped for him to have changed his attitude towards me. That I had expected something, not what he actually gave me; stone cold silence. He wasn't even being mean to me, he was just completely and utterly ignoring me as best as he could. As if he couldn't/didn't want to face me. Maybe he didn't want to acknowledge that he had been hurt yesterday because I might ask questions. Yah, pretty much wishful thinking.
And I couldn't say that it didn't hurt. That what he was doing now was completely fine with me. After my sudden confession to myself yesterday, I didn't know what to think. I didn't even know how I could like him if all he ever did was insult me. Sometimes I truly do not understand myself.
Eva noticed my drastic mood change from pleasantly happy to completely pissed off. But she didn't comment on it. She knew I would tell her when I was ready. Ivan was not very happy about me being all alone with Xavier. Ivan had walked in on us a little after Xavier had fallen asleep.
Ivan had this untold rivalry with Xavier and it seemed Blake, too. I convinced Ivan not to tell anyone about me and Xavier and after a lot of bribing, he agreed. So even Eva didn't know that Xavier and I were together the whole time after the prank.
School was cut short and they allowed everyone to go back home since it was already late and if they continued lessons, there would only be one last class that the students will have to attend before heading home.
Once Dad came home, he asked us how come we came home early. And like the innocent little girls that we were, Eva and I explained that someone had raised a false fire alarm and then cut the electric circuit short.
I think Dad suspects us though, from the way he gave me long and steely glances.
School, the next day, was the same old while the teachers and principal conducted a meeting in the assembly hall with all the students to threaten them to speak up, for whoever did the crime. As if anyone would actually come forward and admit that they are the ones who did it. I really didn't see the point of it.
I had expected Xavier to stay at home today since, c'mon, he had a freaking knife wound for gods sake. But he came to school and didn't talk to anyone at all. Not even Blake, from what I could see.
I saw him wince at moments when he had to bend or when his midsection was stretched, but he didn't complain nor did he take the day off from school. It was as if he was punishing himself...
Since Xavier's and my tuition class couldn't take place yesterday, he had to face the chemistry exam alone. But, surprisingly, he actually got a B+. And I had an inkling feeling that he did it for me, as a form of repayment and thanks for yesterday. But, this is Xavier, so I couldn't be sure.
We scheduled our class for today and when we met in the library, he didn't speak a word to me. Nothing. Not even insults. And astonishingly, that hurt me more than him being angry and crude to me.
He just handed me his chemistry paper and I understood the underlying meaning. He was asking me to teach him his mistakes. I explained everything to him, and as I explained, I could tell he was getting irritated and confused by the sudden pressure to understand everything. And there was the usual Xavier. He started asking me the meaning of everything numerous times and I ended up teaching him the entire chapter again.
Now, I wasn't a very patient person. So our tutoring session ended in a lot of arguments and fights. But, it was suffice to say that I had a smile on my face as I watched Xavier drive away.
Oh boy, was I in trouble.
*********
As soon as I reached home, Eva jumped on me. She had found out that I would be tutoring Xavier for the entire term and was ecstatic about it.
She started gushing about how cute we would look together while Ivan made gagging noises. After Eva had a detailed story of my tutoring session with Xavier, she finally let me go. I felt like a free bird once she did. Finally, I was out from under her claws. As much as I loved Eva, she could be slightly overbearing at times.
A few days passed and I realized just how much unknowingly, my feelings for Xavier had grown. We continued our tuition classes and I started looking forward to it everyday. Yes, we had our fights, but I still enjoyed it. Life with the twins was also fun as they made every moment more enjoyable and I didn't feel alone anymore.
Thursday night, Dad returned home late and he looked thoroughly exhausted. We had an early dinner before Dad excused himself and retired to his room.
Eva, Ivan and I binge-watched a couple of movies late into the night before we finally went to sleep. The next morning was a hassle 'cause Eva and I refused to wake up since we slept so late last night and Ivan had to drag us out of the house and into the car.
"I want Starbucks," Eva whined as she yawned.
"We are already late as it is, Eva," Ivan snapped irritably, rolling his eyes at her.
"But I need caffeine in my system. I don't think I'll be able to function without it."
After a heated argument, where I took Eva's side, we out-numbered Ivan and made a quick pit stop at Starbucks. Ordering our favorite refreshments, we got into the car again and Ivan raced to school.
We ended up getting a detention 'cause we were ten minutes late. Ten minutes. Oh c'mon! We came just in time when the teacher had accidentally left the door open and had her back to us. Scared the poor old lady right off her wits. Probably the reason we got a detention.
I made my way to the detention room with a beaming Eva and a grumbling Ivan. I greeted
Mr. Miller heartily as Eva practically jumped on him, squealing with happiness. Eva, like me, had an interesting relationship with our detention teacher. Mr. Miller laughed and said,
"Now, now, kids. I think you may have forgotten that I'm still a teacher and am not supposed to have favorites."
"I'm sure they don't mind Mr. Mills," Eva said, winking at a few boys in the last row.
Ivan grunted in disgust at Eva's discreet suggestion and gave Mr. Miller a manly hug. We then proceeded to our seats and began working on our tasks. When detention ended, we were a lot more cheerful than before. What a great start to the day.
I was at my locker with Rebecca, after having explained to her why she didn't see me this morning, chattering away. Eva joined us a few minutes later.
"Oh, I completely forgot to ask! How was your conversation with Blake that day?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows.
Rebecca's chattering stopped abruptly and she blushed. "G-good," she stuttered.
I narrowed my eyes at her, 'cause Becca never stutters. She blushed again and covered her fave with her hands. "Oh stop teasing me," she groaned and I laughed along with Eva.
"So tell us. What actually happened?" Eva asked excitedly, walking to the library as we all had a free period.
"He was mad at me..." she said, trailing off slightly.
"For?" I nudged.
"For hugging Ivan in a supposedly 'intimate manner'," she replied, scoffing. "As if I would ever touch him that way. No offense Eva, but I only see him as a brother."
"None taken," she said, waving it off. "It would be a bit weird if you thought of him in a romantic way anyway." We both shuddered in disgust. "And then?"
"And then, he told me that he liked me. That I intrigued him. That he thought I was beautiful," she said, her face flaming and voice growing quieter with every word as if she didn't want to share that experience with anyone else.
"Awww," Eva and I cooed together.
"I told him that I like him too. That he was sweet and funny. And...and he kissed me." Now Becca's face was brighter than a red firetruck's.
"So, are the two of you, like a thing now?" I asked, smiling.
"Yeah," Rebecca said shyly. Wow, Becca being shy. That's a first.
"Good, good," Eva clapped her hands together. "Then you can help me pair up Elaine with Xavier."
"With Xavier?" Rebecca asked, wincing a bit. "He's not exactly the best candidate."
My head snapped up as I heard her. "What? Why not?" I asked, my voice unnaturally sharp.
"Well, he hasn't exactly been treating you the best way, has he? And he's just so cold and closed off..."
"Exactly. And that's why Elaine is just perfect for Xavier. Don't you see? They perfectly balance each other out."
A disgruntled sound left my throat and I sighed. "But Rebecca is right. He's too cold and closed off. I don't think I'll be able to pass through his defenses."
"Anything is possible, Elaine. You just shouldn't lose hope. I have a feeling that somewhere deep inside, Xavier needs someone like you."
"But Elaine will just end up getting hurt. Do you even know how bipolar Xavier is? His mood swings are literally like, one minute he's fine and talking and then the next minute his snapping at her," Rebecca argued.
"Well, no one is perfect, you know," Eva shrugged. "Give the boy a chance."
"Can we stop talking about my non-existent love life. It's making me depressed," I whined.
"Okay, okay," Eva laughed, her hands flying up in the air in a surrendering gesture.
"Speak of the demon and he shall appear," I muttered under my breath as I watched Xavier walk in our direction.
His bag was slung across his shoulder and his face was scrunched up in...was that pain? One hand was holding his midsection and he seemed to be slouching.
I got up immediately and started walking towards him. As soon as I was within reach, Xavier's hand shot out and grabbed mine and started tugging me into an aisle, out of sight of anyone else. There was a boy in the aisle, seeming to be reading a book, his glasses perched on his nose.
"Get. Out," Xavier growled at the innocent victim. The boy's book fell out of his hands in fear and he quickly scrambled away.
As soon as we were alone, Xavier slumped against the shelves, his breath coming out in short pants. I sensed a feeling of deja vu.
"What—" I started asking but I cut myself off as I watched blood seeping through his T-shirt near his stomach.
"Shoot," I swore and quickly helped Xavier sit down on the floor. I ripped off his T-shirt and inspected the wound. Blood was seeping out of the bandage. It seemed as if Xavier had stretched his wound too much. "We need to take you to the infirmary."
He shook his head and gasped out, "My bag." I digged through his bag and found a fresh roll of bandages and some anti-infective.
Quickly, I focused on my job and soon his midsection was bandaged up securely again.
"I swear, Xavier. You do this once more and I'll kill you myself," I said frustratedly, as I wracked a hand through my hair in worry.
"Sorry," said quietly and stiffly. "I didn't want to put this on you but I couldn't have gone to the infirmary."
"It's not you coming to me, that I mind. It's you getting hurt this way. What's wrong with you? Why do you keep hurting yourself like this?"
Confusion swam in his eyes as he tried to understand what I was saying.
"What do you mean? I don't..."
"You think I don't notice when you purposely stretch your midsection and clench your teeth to bear the pain? When you practice even harder in gym, knowing that you have a fatal wound and that you could bleed to death anytime?" My voice almost broke at the end. I don't know why I was getting so emotional. But just the thought of Xavier hurting himself, pulled on my heart strings and made my heart ache for him.
"Just cut it off, Greene. It's not like you actually care," he scoffed and carefully moved away.
"Why would I notice so much then?" I asked. "Why would I be helping you right now?" I was getting more and more frustrated by the second.
"Because you have a heart made of gold. You like to help people whenever possible," he said bitterly.
"And is that such a bad thing? Helping others and making life easier for them?"
"Yes, it is. Especially when you let people walk all over you. Tell me this, Greene. Why haven't you stopped nagging me yet, even after I did my best to express that I didn't like you nor your presence."
"I don't know..." I whispered.
"I walk all over you and yet you still come behind me like a lost puppy. Stop it. Cut it out. Get it into your head that I don't want you nor do I need you. Stop caring about me the way you do. Just stop." His words were harsh and hit me like a thousand bullets, piercing through my heart.
"Why are you doing this?" I whispered.
"Because I see the way you smile at me sometimes when I'm not looking. You'll never be happy with me. I'll never be able to give you anything. I am a monster, Greene. Try and get that through." And with that, he stood up slowly and limped away without another word.
*********
I don't know how long I stayed in the library for. I didn't move from my place nor did I attend my other classes. I texted Eva and Rebecca and told them that I took a sick leave and to inform my teachers.
I hadn't moved from the position I was in, since Xavier left me. And now, half of the day was gone and still I stayed there. I was feeling emotionless and a thousand emotions going through my mind at the same time.
I was confused. I didn't know what I was feeling. I could feel the tears behind my eyelids but still, they did not fall. My emotions were in a disarray. I was feeling too much and too little at the same time.
But, the most prominent emotion was pain.
I don't know why it hurt that much. To know that I didn't mean anything to Xavier. I had known that and still for some reason, I had let myself hope, that maybe it could be possible. That Xavier and I could be possible. And what an idiot I was.
Everyone was in their classes and no one knew that I was actually still cooped up in here. I felt lonely. It was ironic that just this morning, I was thinking that I wasn't feeling so lonely anymore 'cause of the twins and now that emotion was overtaking almost everything else.
But, I was never one to be depressed. I would either hide my feelings or shut it off, but I wouldn't let myself feel depressed. I texted Jake that I wanted to go home and since Dad had made me promise not to go anywhere alone again, I decided to tell Jake.
I didn't need to convince him much. He came out in the middle of the 6th period and dropped me off at home. I acted like my usual cheerful self on the ride back home, but even I could hear how fake I was being. But Jake didn't comment on it. He didn't ask. Or maybe he just didn't notice.
As soon as I reached home, I locked myself in my room. I plugged myself to my headphones and turned the music to the highest volume until I couldn't hear my thoughts no more. Soon after, I fell asleep.
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A/N
Hello, my lovely bunnies! I'm so sorry that I have been gone for so long. I just had exams and all the stress got to me.
I hope you liked the chapter and comment what you think about this chapter.
Adios Amigos.