'She was like the stars and everytime she left, my sky was left into darkness. And everytime she smiled, I wasn't sure if it killed me or brought me back to life' - Faaiz Hasnayn.
She sat and watched the sunset.. How the sun casted a warm glow to the trees, how the cool evening breeze softly caress her cheeks capturing her into an eternal bliss. How slowly the sun hid behind the cloud, disappearing from the cruel world..paving way for the upcoming moon. The trees swayed, dancing to the rhythm of the wind. She watched in contentment how the birds flew about with no worry in the world. It gave her a feeling of euphoria..
And as she sat admiring nature, she couldn't help but reminisce about her life. Faaiz has finally changed and is now looking out for her. Her mom seems okay now. And her dad? He's been living the way he likes.
She seemed so engrossed in her thoughts that she couldn't detect the coming footstep. A pair of hand wound around her waist. She needn't turn around to know whom, his scent wafted through her nose.
"You back early" She remarked and he snuggled closer inhaling her sweet smelling damp hair.
"Yeah. Decided to leave work early and moreover, I've missed my wife's warmth," She smiled standing up and turned around in his arms facing him.
"Urm. You look stressed,"
He shut his eyes momentarily "Work was hectic."
She loosened his tie "How do you know I was here?"
"I figured," She smiled.
"Come on, go in and freshen up I will join you soon," He snuggled closer.
"I like it this way," And he tightened his grip on her waist.
She ruffled his hair "C'mon don't be such a kid and go upstairs I'm ain't running away."
"Right!" He pouted and she giggled as they both entered the house.
"What are the two love birds up to?" Mariam asked mischievously. Hanan blushed and Faaiz shrugged leaning closer to her.
"Can't I have a nice time with my wife?"
"Of course," And she grinned before disappearing into the kitchen.
"I would be right back," She nodded as she watched him leave.
"So.." Mariam started nudging her shoulders.
"So...?" She inquired clueless .
"Have you decided on an honeymoon yet? Location, date..?"
"No honeymoon granny."
"You guys are just too boring!"She huffed and she chuckled
"What ever."
"Oops! Forgot something. Would be right back" And she hurriedly left. Hanan sighed as she went about her duty.
*******
"For the love of God, will you just shut up already?" demanded Faaiz rubbing his temple.
But she was having none of it as continued nevertheless "-Sofia came to me telling me there was a surprise for me. I was puzzled of course, at the same time curious what. So she led me to the garden and grinned widely at me... "
Faaiz face palmed himself "You are distracting me!"
She rambled on "... She then showed me the surprise. You cant just believe my favourite sunflowers- My sunflowers blossomed!!" She squealed and Faaiz massaged his temples "Heaven knows how long i've been nurturing them and it turned out really bea-" He shut her up with his lips on hers.
Her eyes widened as she kept shut instantly. He smirked down at her "What part of shut up don't you get?" He rolled his eyes.
'The shut up part' She muttered "Its unfair! You wouldn't even let me finish what I was saying!"
"You almost gave me a migraine!"
"You making it sound like i'm granny!" He laughed at her.
"Mini granny" He stuck out his tongue and she hit him. "Ouch!"
Now, it was her turn. She stuck out her tongue at him "Serves you right. And for the record, I'm not a chatterbox!"
"Noted!"
"You know, I actually had to make excuses to leave her sight. God, that old woman sure talks too much"
Laughter roared through him "Did you just know!?"
"I actually didn't wanna admit the fact, but now..?"
Faaiz chuckled loudly. "Have you now seen one of the reasons I tend to avoid that old woman?"
"I feel you" He threw his head back and laughed.
She smiled as she went over and sat on the sofa next to him "What are you up to?" She inquired, paper work littered round the chair and floor.
"I was going through some stuffs before your distraction" He rolled his eyes "And I need to get it done before midnight" He picked up a paper work looking unease.
"Any problem?" He seemed disorganized.
He contemplated and then sighed "I'm actually having issues with this particular one" He pointed to his laptop screen.
"Would you mind if I help out?"
He stared at her like she has grown insane "Hell no!"
"Good! Cos I already have a solution to your problem"
And she instructed him on what to do. In exactly 25 minutes, they were done.
"Woah! Remind me again how I ended up with a genius wife!?"
She chuckled "Genius is a strong word, you know"
He embraced her rather tightly "I'm so proud of you. Like I've been struggling with that for a while, and all it took from you was a glance and phew, work done!"
She smiled "Its no big deal. I'm glad I actually could help out"
He smiled, his cute dimple showing, the one she so much adore "I will make it up to you"
"How about with your time and attention Instead?" As she wrapped her hand around his neck.
He kissed her forehead and ran a hand through her hair "I'm working on that already. But my best isn't enough, I presume?"
She giggled "Yeah"
"How about I pack up this mess?" gesturing to the scattered papers and disarrayed room.
"There are maids you know" He gave her a pointed look and she shrugged looking away "Blame that on granny. She's rubbing up on me a lot lately" She muttered and he smiled shaking his head. "How does a 'we' sound?"
"Doesn't sound bad" He winked and she grinned. And together they both cleared up the mess.
They then settled on the couch "Not only regarding that, but for whats to come. Doing it together sounds cool and much more better"
She smiled and snuggled close to him. "Was that why you told me you wanted to work?" He asked all of a sudden.
She nodded slowly "I- I its not like i actually never wanted you to work, especially now that I know you are a genius" She glared up at him "Okay, brilliant" She nodded 'sounds nice' She mouthed and he shook his head..
"I'm working hard enough." He shut his eyes momentarily "Ever since what happened I vowed not to let any of my family work. I mean, that's why am working hard, So they wouldn't have to worry about anything. So they won't lack anything or have a cause to suffer or have a cause to look for work" He gulped and she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.
"But now that I know..." He then smiled big "We can't let this intelligence of yours go to waste. Will do something about that"
She smiled "Thanks" And he returned her smile. She then groaned "I know I will never get used to your adorable dimple"
He chuckled "Good thing then 'cos we have the rest of our lives for you to admire it all you want"
"And why do I have a feeling it won't still be enough?" He laughed still running his hand through her hair. His new found obsession.
He then asked all of a sudden "Remember that day at the party?"
Hanan shut her eyes and nodded.
He looked nervous "I-" He rake a hand through his hair "Honestly I was mesmerized. You looked really gorgeous and for a moment I was dumbfounded."
She gave him a sharp glance and he raised his hands up in surrender "I acted like an asshole back there. Yeah. It was because I was actually jealous"
Her eyes widened "Jealous? You? You wouldn't even acknowledge me.." she trailed off.
"That's a lie"
"What?"
"I've actually sighted you since you've entered the hall. I wanted to go insane.. Almost everyone was gawking at you! Checking you out! Then I saw you with that guy" He clenched his fist "And then.. You laughed, like laughed! It took all I had not to snap his head that instant. You were so innocent. So beautiful. You were unaware of the envious looks on you"
Hanan looked confused "You insulted me.."
"That was the jealousy in me!" He rubbed his face tightly "Honestly, I didn't know what came over me that led to the statement I made. But trust me, I didn't mean it! I didn't mean a single word I said that night."
Sighing, he added "Maybe I wanted you to feel what I felt, make you pay for what you did, heck, something you actually have no idea about." He averted his gaze from her "A thousand sorrys won't make up for it. I know. But it won't stop how Sorry I was for my actions"
"You ain't saying anything."
"I- I don't want to dwell on the past really. I've already made up my mind to let everything go. But the humiliation I felt, not only that day but other days too is not just something that can be forgotten"
"I know really. Am an asshole. Gosh! You are making me feel really awful!"
She chuckled "You know that's an understatement"
"Yeah. I concur" And he pulled her closer.
"I can't believe you were jealous!"
He sighed "I actually was." then added, "Hussein then pressed the red button. I couldn't hold it in any longer. Heck, my anger management issue. The Anger blinded me, I couldn't control the fury, he was touching you! How dare he?! You are only mine!"
"You know, I -" He took a deep breath shutting his eyes "After that statement I made, I tried looking for you to rectify things and to apologize for what I did. I searched everywhere only to see you with him! God, I was furious! And I couldn't help but get more angry. And then I thought maybe you don't deserve an apology afterall"
Hanan gasped "I- actually thought you were stalking me!"
He smiled sadly "Only I wasn't. And i wanted to apologize for what I said, the word uttered out of anger and jealousy, cos after the statement you just disappeared and i was beginning to worry. I regretted that statement the moment it rolled off my tongue, if only I could take back what I said that night. If only I wasn't seething with rage"
"And you know what, I never knew the media would make a big deal out of it. I wasn't conscious of the CCTV. I couldn't find you, you just vanished and I grew really worried. Only to find you with.." he trailed off.
"You know there's actually nothing between us right?" he kept mute as he stared at the bracelet on her wrist. Dang! She has totally forgotten about it. She sighed and took it off. "Now that I know," She paused "know the kind of being he is and all his capable of, I will try to distance myself from him"
"You don't have to" He gritted out clenching his fist.
"You know, your jealous self is somewhat scary. You act so completely irrational"
"Blame me not. Seeing you with another actually unleashes a demon in me"
"You've found the perfect term for it" She laughed lightly and he smiled.
"Anything for you love" He pecked her
"I wasn't actually with him intentionally, he found me where I was and the hug was unaware! And since I have no other person and I know no one, I decided to cling to him. And as for the other guy? He has a wife already! And I wasn't flirting with him" She rolled her eyes as she remembered his words that night "He was the one that led me to the venue when the wife saw me standing awkwardly as I was anticipating your arrival, and she offered to help. We were having a casual conversation for crying out loud!"
"And I wouldn't have known"
"Yeah. Since you've already concluded! You've already made an assumption without even hearing my side of the story"
He looked apologetic and regret filled his eyes "I'm sorry. But its all in the past now right?" he looked nervous. She took a deep breath, smiled and nodded. "Good!" an equal smile tugging at his lips.
"So tell me, was it really true or not?" She gazed unwaveringly at him and he looked away. He knows what she was referring to.
"You mean that time at your house you thought I manipulated you?"
She gulped and nodded. It took a while before he replied. "It was."
"So why did you lie? Making me feel stupid?"
He ran a hand through his hair, he seem to be doing a lot of that lately "I- really don't know" He shut his eyes tightly "Like I've said I was being an asshole, I was really stupid aren't I?" And she sighed
He cupped her face and gaze tenderly at her "Like I've said a trillion sorry won't suffice. But I will live each day making it up to you" And he kissed her forehead shutting her eyes in the process. "But you were actually right" He finally admitted
"About what?"
"I had actually let my guard down and enjoyed the moment. For a moment, I forgot all my worries and just went with the flow. And wanted to feel what its like to give in to cravings. It hadn't been more real" She couldn't believe it. Faaiz!?
After a while, he looked at her "What?" when she caught him staring at her.
He gave her an innocent look "Can't I stare at my own wife again?"
She rolled her eyes at him. He then smirked "I'm sensing something wrong here" staring at him with squinted eyes.
"I have a confession" and he fell back on the sofa pulling her with him.
"Faaiz!" He grinned sheepishly at her and she hit him "You need to get rid of this silly habit"
He rolled over so he's hovering over her gazing at her. "What's the confession?" She noticed he's not going to talk anytime soon and the heated gaze was making her uncomfortable.
He smirked "Do you want to know the first time I fell for you?" She racked her brain and couldn't seem to place his bipolar attitude.
That time at the party and she doesn't even know he was jealous!
"Tell me something"
He groaned. "Try guessing"
"And your actions and unpredicted moods ain't really helping matters. So, why don't you save me the stress of racking my brain, when its obvious I won't even get it right, and just tell me already!"
He groaned again "You are one boring person"
She giggled "Says Mr poker face"
And he smiled. "Well..." A far away look in his eyes "It was on our wedding day." her eyes widened
"What??" Never in a million years could she guess it was that day.
He smiled knowingly "Yeah."
"B-but wasn't th-" She stuttered not finding the right word. Clearly Faaiz was something else. Since then? She couldn't comprehend it.
He continued gazing at her "Love at first sight.. They would say?"
She vocalised when she finally got her voice "But your actions.. That day and afterwards stated otherwise"
He finally got away from her and stood up. "I was actually scared. Scared of falling for you. When you probably wouldn't feel the same way, and even if you did. It'd only complicate things. I just couldn't risk it."
"The moment I entered the room and saw you, I couldn't help it. You looked ravishing. You were really beautiful. I just couldn't help it, I fell for you instantly. Actually, the way I treated you was-" He paused "-Was just myself trying to deny what I feel, how I feel. And I know it cant get me anywhere. Its better to just ignore and shove away the thoughts and feelings. But the more I do, the more I find myself falling the more and I hated it."
"Hated feeling that way. You don't even feel that way towards me. You got along really well with Hussein. I know I couldn't help it, that was why I tried staying away for you. Those times I tended to avoid you, i avoided you not because you were annoying or bad, or that you did something wrong, but cos of myself. I was feeling insecure about my feelings, I was conflicted on the inside. And then lashed out on you, vented my insecurities on you."
"And most importantly, I tried to push you away. Make you hate me. And guess it worked?" He faced her a sad smile on his face.
She shut her eyes briefly and he sighed deeply "I- I know it would get you nowhere once you love me. So, I tried to but at the same time couldn't bring myself to, Couldn't hate you no matter how much I tried and it only angered me the more. I treated you with resentment. Lied and denied to myself about how I felt for you.. Wouldn't even admit it to myself. I tried making you hate me, cos that was what I felt was best for me. For us."
Hanan stood up and went up to him and hugged him from the back "Yeah. You are right. I almost hated you." She then smiled, even though he couldn't see her "Almost. But like you said, I tried hating you too but I couldn't bring myself to. I couldn't hate you. Cos, my heart beats for you, and you only!"
He couldn't hold it in any longer, he turned around and engulfed her into a bone crushing hug "You know I love you so much right?"
She smiled contentedly "Yeah. But I love you so much more"
"Nahh. Not as much as I do"
"And how would you know that?"
"Cos I love you so much it hurts"
She tightened the hug. He then pulled back and dipped his head lower and captured her lips in his. Pouring out all his emotions in the kiss hoping that would emphasis how much he does.
She then gasped for breath. "Its late already. Why don't we come to bed?"
He shook his head at her questioningly "You know I can't"
She tugged at his hand and led him to the bed. She cupped his chin "Don't worry. Trust me on this?"
He nodded without hesitation and she grinned. They got under the cover and both stared at the ceiling. "Let go of all the self blame, Faaiz. All the resentments you feel, anger towards yourself and everyone, everything. Let go of it. And embrace this new feeling, no resentment, guilt, stress-free feeling"
And he snuggled closer to her. He rested his head on her chest and she ran a soothing hand through his hair and back.
That reminded her of an old habit of hers and her mom. And she smiled cos it always helped. Anytime their dad abused them and they would find solace in themselves, with her leaning on her mom and she would soothe all of her worries away.
She smiled as she read verses of the Qur'an like her mom would, in her melodious voice. It always helped. It always worked for her. It was her lullaby. She continued humming the verses.
She then noticed something. His breathing changed and she cautiously tapped him but he didn't bulge. She continued her recitation a huge grin on her face.
As for the very first time in a very very long time, Faaiz Hasnayn has fallen into a deep slumber!
********************
Uh-oh. Awwnnn!!😍😍
Who could have thought Faaiz actually loved her at first sight!!😋
Hehehe.
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Till next time💕💕