AMANDA POV
Demi left. I'm here all alone now. I sit on the bed with my head in my hands. I never wanted this to become this bad.
"it will get easier" Rachel tells me
"but what if it doesn't?" i ask "i haven't been apart from demi for more than a couple hours"
"this won't be easy but if you truly want it then its possible" Rachel says
i sigh and lay back in bed. I'm given time to unpack before dinner and as i do that i find a piece of paper hidden in a drawer.
to whoever finds this, you are worth recovery and you are beautiful. don't let others opinions bring you down. what you think of yourself is most important. good luck and stay strong.
love, Demi Lovato.
A huge smile speads across my face. i'm not sure if anyone else has seen it but i feel special. I put the note back and finish unpacking. I'm going to leave it so others can read it too.
"Amanda its time to eat" Rachel tells me
I get up and follow Rachel out to the dining room. She has me sit down and brings me my food.
"i thought i was supposed to get my food" i say, confused
"special order" she tells me
i look at the plate and see a piece of paper tucked under it. I pick it up and unfold it.
Amanda,
i love you so much baby girl and i'm so proud of you for agreeing to this. You're my little skyscraper you'll do great in here. Keep your head up and focus on getting better. Remember to show your demons whos boss. Think positively and never give up. Now eat babygirl. i know you don't want to but you have to. Food will not hurt you i promise. i'm there with you in your heart. My love is like a star.
I love you my warrior
stay strong
Love, Mom
I swear Demi is the most amazing person in the world. I tuck the note in my pocket and pick up my fork. Slowly stabbing at my food i grab a piece and put it in my mouth. Chewing very slowly, i manage to swallow. This goes on for about an hour before i finally finish.
"i'm so proud of you amanda!" rachel exclaims
"i did it for demi" i say
"she would be incredibly proud of you right now" Rachel smiles
I think about how i won't have demi to tell me goodnight until i get back home and a tear sheds
"whats wrong?" Rachel asks
"i don't have Demi to tell me goodnight" i frown
"imagine it for now and if you do really well i'll let you call her at the end of the week" rachel tells me
"okay" i smile
i go in my room and get ready for bed. Before i go to bed i check my schedule for tomorrow.
7:00 AM to 8:00 AM: Get up and ready for the day
8:00 AM to 9:00 AM: Breakfast
9:00 AM to 10:00 AM: Therapy Session
10:00 AM to 12:00 PM: group
12:00 PM to 1:00 PM: lunch
1:00 PM to 3:00 PM: activities (music, art, gym)
3:00pm to 5:00pm: group
5:00pm to 6:00pm: dinner
6:00pm to 8:00pm: activities (different from one chosen above)
8:00pm to 9:00pm: therapy session
9:00pm to 10:00pm: free time
10:00pm: lights out
since its my first day i'm starting therapy and all that tomorrow. My bulletin board is empty so i thumbtack the note demi left me to it. Since i have the rest of the night to myself i go in the music room. A piano is the first thing that catches my eye.
A place in this world is the first song i play. I lose myself in the music and enjoy myself. i also end up playing play on and beautiful. After hanging out in the music room i decide to go watch tv. Since nobody else is watching it i turn on mtv and see moms documentary on.
This brings back so many memories and i have tears in my eyes but i'm also smiling. Her documentary is so emotional. Once it ends i put on disney channel and see sonny with a chance is on. Its the episode where the new girl moves in above her and she sings at a coffee house.
The part where she tries to write what to do comes on and i recite her lines perfectly. I start laughing like an idiot and Rachel has to come tell me to quiet down.
"whats so funny anyway?" she asks
"my mother" i laugh
"she definitely was funny back then" rachel laughs
"Well i'm going to bed" i announce
I go back in my room and curl up with my Demi pillows.
demi pov
Tonight has been rough on all of us. Amanda definitely has it harder though. I know Madison is having a hard time not having amanda to hang out with and Amanda is my baby i feel so lonely without her.
Amanda pov
I just woke up and now i'm getting dressed. I throw on my demi tank top and put my Demi sweatshirt on over it. Black jeans on my white converse with demi's face on the side. For hair i brushed it and put my Demi beanie on. Lastly i put my lovatic necklace on and a bunch of demi related bracelets. This is like my favorite outfit. Yes, demi's my mom now but i'm still a lovatic and i like to let it show. By the time i finish getting ready its time for breakfast. I make my way to the dining room and get a bowl of cereal. I sit down and eat my ceral slowly but with no help.
Therapy, now that i'm worried about. I don't like opening up to people i don't know. Rachel brings me to the room and i sit down. My therapist soon comes in and Rachel leaves.
"Hi, Im Charlotte. you must be Amanda" My therapist says
"yeah" i say quietly
"you're in here for self harming and an eatind disorder, correct?" Charlotte asks
"yeah" i say again
"can you tell me why you hurt yourself" charlotte asks
"it helps" i say
"with what?" charlotte asks
As i open my mouth i hear skyscraper from somewhere.
"where is that coming from?" i ask
"someone might be playing it aloud" charlotte tells me
"no it sounds live" i say
"well i would know if Demi lovato were here" charlotte says
"and so would i" i say
i leave the room ignoring charlottes yells to come back. Everyone is gathered in the music room so i go in there and see Demi singing. My first instinct is to run up on stage and hug her.
"mommy" i yell as i run on stage
Demi pulls me into a hug and continues singing. Once she finishes she sits her mic down and hugs me tighter
"mommy what are you doing here?" i ask demi
"i was asked to perform before i went back to california" Demi explains
"i don't want to stay here" i tell Demi
"i know honey but they'll help you" demi says
"but i want you to help me" i say
"i know honey but they can help better then i can" Demi tell me
"i need you like i need blood in my veins" i say
"that sounds familiar" Demi says
"because you sang it" i laugh
"i did?" demi asks
"on As The Bell Rings" i say
"oh yeah" demi says
"yeah" i say
"i understand that you need me but we won't be apart forever" Demi says
"please let me come home" i say