(Edited)
THE PAST
The only times June had dared to look up, were when she needed to cross the street. The rest of her walk home; her eyes were aimed at the ground, the torn pieces of her sweater held tightly to her chest. A few times along the way her shoulder had bumped against someone else's jostling her, but other than a few harsh words she was left with her thoughts.
Of course there was no reason to be scared. Nobody would try to grab her breasts because her sweater was ripped. There was a good probability that no one had even noticed; she had always been the Plain Jane. Ordinary. Boring. Unseen.
Still, she felt relieved when she entered the house. Almost instantly that feeling was dashed as she tripped over the skates that were lying on the doormat. They could only belong to one person. Her thoughts were confirmed when from the living room she could hear Jordy's cheerful chatter.
June wished that the staircase had been in the hallway, so she could have headed for her bedroom immediately. Now she however needed to cross through the living room, which would be impossible to do without attracting her friend's attention.
Well, at least it was impossible to feel more embarrassed than she had during the last few minutes she had spent with Juan Carlos...
As soon as she had opened the door to the living room, Jordy's blue hair caught her eye. "There you are! Beth told me that you and Juan Carlos..." She trailed off, a frown creasing her eyebrows. "What happened to you sweater?"
For a brief moment June considered lying. Then she felt ashamed of herself for that kind of thought. Lying to her friend, why would she do that? But she found it awkward to talk about Juan Carlos; especially considering her mother was also there. Her eyes moved to the bed that was shoved against the wall. There was a kind expression on her mother's face, and the look in her eyes was curious.
June had purposely kept her feelings for Juan Carlos to herself. She didn't want to give her mother any false hope that she would be coming home with a boyfriend anytime soon. Her mother wasn't doing well, and the doctors had only given her a few years at most and every mother was curious about her daughter's first love. It was a milestone, something she could look forward to, and June didn't want to disappoint her.
But she knew Jordy. There was no doubt she had told her mother about her crush. She was at the house all the time, she even had her own key. Jordy always felt miserable whenever she couldn't talk to someone for more than an hour and since her own parents were always working because of their family business and June's mother could hardly leave her bed, she had gotten into the habit of stopping by a few days a week to talk to her. Her mother liked Jordy's company, she was energetic and she always acted like she was not to speaking to a sick woman, but to a friend.
"Junie?" Jordy stressed as she kept silent. There was a worried tone in her voice.
"I'm fine," June said quickly. "Someone tripped and grabbed my shoulder, which caused us both to fall on the ground."
"Let me guess, that someone's name is called Juan Carlos?" she asked with a smirk. "He's a bit clumsy, huh?"
June didn't know what to answer and so with a blush she headed upstairs. She put on another sweater, made a weak attempt to organize her thoughts and when she didn't succeeded, she went downstairs again. She kissed her mother's cheek, who held her hand for a moment and squeezed.
"Jordana told me about this Juan Carlos."
June glared at her friend, who shrugged her shoulders.
"What?! Girl! I ship you two, you are two cutest people on earth! The more people that are encouraging you, the bigger the chance you will believe he really likes you."
June flopped down on a chair close to her mother's bed and fussing with her thumbnail, as she got comfortable. "I already know. He told me, this afternoon." The corners of her mouth curled up a little as she thought back to that moment. He had tripped over his feet before she could have given him an answer.
"I wanna know everything, Junie. Everything!" Jordy clapped her hands, showing so much enthusiasm it made her blush.
June's eyes shot to her mother. It felt uncomfortable to talk about those things when she was around. On the other hand – she was still with them now, and she may not be able to have this type of a conversation with her in the future. Looking at her mom, she saw that her eyes were shining, she looked more energetic than the days before.
And thus she told them what had happened today. With her eyes fixed on the ground, she told them what Emilio had asked her and how angry Juan Carlos had been, how he later had brushed his hand along her cheek. Then everything just slipped past her lips. Her doubts, Mateo's behavior, her attempt to thank him, picking ice creams when he had wrapped an arm around her – and the stumble and fall.
After her last words, Jordy rushed into laughter, while on her mother's lips was a hint of a smile.
"Things like that happen, June," she told her. "It sounds like you weren't the only one plagued by nerves." She gave her a wink. "He really sounds like a sweet boy."
June felt her cheeks glow. "But we are so different. His brother and his friends... I will never feel comfortable around them. I panicked twice today." She intertwined her fingers. Her stomach felt jittery. "I just don't think it's going to work between us. I never thought so, that's why I didn't say anything about him."
And because her mother's heart had already been broken. How could she bring someone home if her mother had been abandoned by the love of her life? That was cruel, right?
"Well, I'm sure you two will figure it out." Jordy swung an arm around her shoulder, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Love is in the air. I can feel it!"
Her friend's confidence didn't make June's doubts go away. She felt too embarrassed to ever say something to him again and she was almost sure he also felt ashamed of what had happened today. Soon he would forget about how it had felt when he had wrapped an arm around her, how she had brushed his lip, and there would eventually be another girl attracting his attention. It was inevitable.
"Give it some time," her mother said. She reached for her hand and squeezed. "If it is meant to be, you two will find each other and stick together."