Back in normal time now, not a flashback anymore
Also, I noticed that you guys really seemed to like the last chapter. I actually got the idea for the last chapter from a song I like. Here's the link to the song in case you want to hear it. I was listening to that song on repeat when I wrote the last chapter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmFM4S21Cjw&list=PLDJdqHCQ8BC2EhYrCioDkvEl_ysb_kJ6S&t=0s&index=111
Natasha's pov:
My whole body is tense. Every joint locked in place. I'm sitting on my bed. I can't move. Why? I'm panicking. Even breathing seems hard now. I'm super uncomfortable. I feel like someone's watching me, even though I know there's nobody else here. I feel like I'm not alone. I feel like I'm in danger, for no literal reason. I just feel like metal. So stiff. So inhuman. So cold. It's cold in here. I manage to cross my legs, and fold my arms. I grab the cuffs from my nightstand with a shaky hand and cuff myself to the bed. I feel myself freezing up again. I feel like I can't move. I feel defenseless. I'm so uncomfortable. Why am I panicking like this? Why? What's wrong with me? I crack my knuckles nervously. My hands are ice cold and sweaty. I'm in a cold sweat. For no reason. Fight or flight mode is activated. Images of little girls firing guns flashes through my eyes. I can't stay still, yet I can't move. I keep fidgeting and twitching, yet my whole body is tensed up. Like a malfunctioning machine. Well, that's actually what I am, no? I see blood and bodies of innocent bystanders flash before my eyes. I rock myself back and forth gently, trying to calm myself. It's not working. I rub my boots together uncomfortably. I stare ahead blankly, letting the dark and horrific memories flood my brain. I feel like crying, but I can't. I can't cry. I guess that's just a robot thing. I feel so fragile. So empty. So vulnerable. I hear frantic knocking on the door.
My head snaps to the person tumbling out of the vents, and I feel the panic overwhelm me. I scramble away best I can, but my hands are still cuffed.
"Natasha, it's just me! It's just- Stop!" He tries to ease me.
"Stop, stop, stop-" I huff, and frantically twitch.
My movement is uncontrollable now. I stare at the wall blankly again.
"Clint, open the door!" I hear a deep muffled voice from outside the door, but I block it out.
I claw at the bed sheets and my skin. Breathing is irregular and heavy. Sudden short breaths and deep ones.
"I got it Clint, give us a little space. Keep the others back."
Unpredictable movements and twitching.
I hear the door shut.
I tug furiously at the cuffs, but don't break my stare at the wall.
"Natalia."
When he gets closer, I snap my head to him with wide eyes.
"sssSt-stop- stop-" I frantically try to back up more, but I'm limited by the cuffs.
"Natalia, stop."
"n-n-no no no n-no-" I panic.
"Shh, baby doll, it's me." He's a huge dark figure.
He approaches me slowly and cautiously. He towers over me, even while bending over slightly. Broad shoulders and a muscular figure in all black and gray. Definitely a threat. Long hair covering part of his face, totally not shady at all.
"N-no, no- S-stop, get away-" I breathe in a panic.
"Stop. It's me. It's Bucky. I'm not gonna hurt you. Stop."
I feel him place his freezing hand on my cuffed hand. I panic more and try to kick him away frantically.
"Stop, stop, you're going to hurt yourself! Natalia, please!"
"N-no, no-" I feel my eyes watering up.
"Natalia, I love you, please." His voice is soft and deep.
I freeze and stare at something nonexistent.
"Good. Just. Stop."
I feel the click of the cuffs. I snap my head to the cuffs.
"Hey, stop. Don't move, you're fine. You're fine. Stop."
I freeze again, like he told me to. I'm associating myself with reality again. I feel a cold stiff hand on my cheek. He picks me up off the bed as gently as possible, and I don't move, like he asked. He sits on the bed and sets me on his lap.
"Wait- wait no-" I breathe and tense up.
I feel his big arms wrap around me. I can't form words anymore.
"Let go. Relax."
I release his arm from my death grip.
"Good. Calm down Natalia." His chest rumbles when he speaks.
"No, you have to leave-"
"No."
"James-"
"No."
"James-!"
"No!" He snaps.
"It's dangerous!"
"No it's not!"
"I'm unstable!"
"I don't care! You wont hurt me!"
"...You don't know that."
"I do. You can't hurt me. Stop. You're fine."
"I don't want to take chances-"
"I'm taking chances!" He barks.
I know better than to respond. I try to gently slide off his lap. He only pulls me right back and holds me tighter than before.
"Don't." He growls in a deep intense voice that could make assassins freeze in their tracks.
That's something only an idiot would argue with.
"Relax..." He purrs softly into my neck.
I do as he says and go comfortably limp in his arms.
"There. Not so hard, is it?" He whispers in my ear.
I bury my face in my hands.
"Don't do that." He speaks quietly.
I turn my head away from him.
"Lemme see your pretty face." He turns my head to face him.
I glance at him for a moment, then turn away in spite of him.
"Don't be like that now..."
I growl in return.
"Oh, you're gonna do that now?"
I ignore him.
"Come on now."
I refuse to respond.
"Natalia. Please. I need attention."
I ignore him still.
"Don't ignore me!"
...
"Well, at least you wont protest..."
I arch an eyebrow. Color me curious... I squeak when I feel him bite my neck.
"James! Not so sudden!" I scold.
"Now I get attention..." I can hear the eye roll in his voice.
"Wait, but why'd you stop...?"
"...Oh, that's cute. That's...Really cute. Oh..." He softens his to a whisper.
He starts biting at my neck again. He kisses me up and down while holding me close. He trails his hands up and down me, and I finally feel relaxed. It's like all of my problems melt away when he's with me. The moonlight shining in from my window gleams on his metal arm. The once red star looks violet under the blue hue of the moon. His dark attire helps him blend in with the darkness of my room. The only light in the room is from the stars outside. The only reason I can see him is because the moon is beaming down on his back. The blue and white hue from the moon gives him an appropriately ghostly look. The soft whites and blues make his arm and dog tags glitter with silver light. His silvery blue eyes compliment the starlight that pours down on his back. Since I'm seeing him from his front side, it's kind of like a silhouette. His face is hidden behind shadows and long dark hair, but the darkness makes his eyes stand out in the prettiest way. He's huge compared to me, so I feel small in his arms. It's like being hugged by a big shadow. Like being embraced by the darkness of the room. The phantom hiding in shadows. The myth. The legend. The Winter Soldier. I almost can't tell the difference between him and the darkness. I can only tell it's him and not a ghost because he's so warm compared to me. He tightens his arms around me. I hum at his attentive affection.
"You're so cold. Let me warm you up." He mumbles between kisses.
"Please do."